Categories
All Other Sports

Hogan Knows Best? Well, not all of `em

Nick Hogan might want to give up driving, both casually and professionally. We’ve shown you Nick’s poor driving skills before, so it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that he’s gone off and crashed another car. However, this time it nearly cost him and his passenger their lives.

The 17-year-old Hulkamaniac was apparently driving way to fast down a Clearwater, FL., street Sunday night when he lost control of his yellow Toyota Supra and slammed it into a palm tree in the median. The wreck was so violent that it destroyed the car to the point where both Hogan and his friend, John Graziano, had to be cut from the car by rescue workers. Hogan was the less injured of the two, but both had to be flown to the hospital for treatment. Nick has since been released.

We hope that Graziano pulls through because the last thing any kid needs is the death of a friend of their head. But hopefully this will teach Nick that the world isn’t his own personal drifting course. He might think that he’s a professional driver, but his track record with vehicles shows that he is anything but. Frankly, Hulk should never utter these words to his son again:

Links:

[MyFoxTampaBay.com]: Hulk Hogan’s son injured in car crash

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Not even close


1. A Series of Dominance: The Boston Red Sox just pulled off one of the more one-sided series in the MLB this season as they swept the White Sox in four games. Boston outscored Chicago 46-7 in the series, scoring ten or more runs in each game and winning each game by at least eight runs. The Red Sox became the first team in the league this season to reach the 80-win mark, and they extended their lead over the Yankees to a whopping 7.5 games. Boston’s 11-1 win on Sunday included a solid pitching performance by Julian Tavarez and balanced play by the offense. David Ortiz had two more RBIs, giving him seven in the series and 87 on the year. Mike Lowell also drove in seven runs for the series, and he leads the team with 93 this season. The Red Sox are on a roll headed into one of their most important series this season: a three-game set at Yankee Stadium that begins on Tuesday. If they win that series, they will win the division title barring an epic collapse.

2. The Dark Horse: The American League Cy Young race is extremely crowded, though it’s surprising one name is rarely mentioned: Kelvim Escobar. Dan Haren, Josh Beckett, and Johan Santana are more commonly cited for Cy Young contention, but Escobar has as solid stats as anyone: a 15-6 record, 2.77 ERA, and 1.17 WHIP. On Sunday he pitched brilliantly for eight innings as the Angels beat the Blue Jays 3-1. Escobar allowed one run, six hits, and recorded five strikeouts. Though he didn’t even make the All Star team, Escobar has been the team’s ace, even superior to John Lackey. Since the start of July he has allowed three or fewer runs in all but one start. Hopefully Escobar doesn’t get ignored just because he is relatively unknown compared with the other candidates.

3. Another year, another run: The Minnesota Twins are one of those teams that seemingly always makes a run in the second half of the season. Last year the Twins rallied from many games back to overtake the Tigers and win the division. This year, though they’re still well out at this point, Minnesota could be making another jump up the standings. Since losing five in a row earlier this month, the Twins have won 9 out of 12, including a five-game winning streak. They swept the Orioles in four games over the weekend by a combined 31-10 score, including an 11-3 beatdown on Sunday. The Twins got a competent start from Scott Baker and pounded Baltimore ace Erik Bedard for six runs in the victory. At 67-63, they are 5.5 games back in the standings, though that will change shortly as they face Cleveland six times over the next two weeks, starting with a three game set at Jacobs Field beginning Monday.

Player of the Day: Chris Young, Diamondbacks: 2-4, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs in a 5-4 win over Milwaukee.

Categories
All Other Sports

A funny thing happened on the way over a hurdle

If you can make it to the world championships of anything then you’ve gotta be pretty darn good at your area of competition. So, we going to guess that nine times outta ten, Austrian steeplechaser Guenther Weidlinger makes it over those precarious hurdles on the course without even breaking a sweat. Luckily for us, the one time he didn’t make it over the top there were cameras in place to record the entire painful disaster.

Ya’ know, now that we think about it, we’re starting to think that ol’ Guenther might be the long lost cousin of this guy.

Links:

[MSNBC]: Austrian smacks face into hurdle at worlds

Categories
Denver Broncos

Travis Henry consistently produces, both on and off the field


Travis Henry got banged up in a game against the Cowboys a few weeks back and his status for opening day has been somewhat up in the air. However, it’s starting to look like Henry will be healthy for the start of the season, which is great news for all of his fantasy owners. But, more importantly, it means that Henry will still be the family breadwinner who’s bringing home the bacon to his kids. All nine of them!

Oh, and did we mention that the nine kids were with nine different women!

People can judge me all they want,” Henry said as he watched his team warm up for its preseason game Saturday night against the Cleveland Browns at Invesco Field at Mile High. “But only God can judge me.”

Henry’s personal life was recently revealed after he received a child-support judgment in a DeKalb County, Ga., court. It’s not the first time a professional athlete has been involved in such controversy. Former NBA star Shawn Kemp has seven children with six women and Derrick Thomas, the late linebacker of the Kansas City Chiefs, had seven children with five women.

Nine children with nine women is a new standard.

“A lot of stuff that’s been put out there isn’t true, but I’m not going to get into that right now,” Henry said. “The important thing is I want to take care of my kids really and truly. It’s all good.

Damn, if Henry got as much exposure as Tom Brady, Tiger Woods, Jeff Gordon and LeBron James for fathering a child then ESPN would have to dedicate an entire channel to his procreative efforts.

And for all you fantasy GM’s out there, here’s a word of advice for draft day. While his production won’t be nearly as high, Henry slightly edges out guys like Shaun Alexander, Frank Gore and Larry Johnson if you’re in a point per pregnancy league.

Links:

[DenverPost.com]: Travis Henry at ease with big fatherhood statistics

Categories
Dallas Mavericks

Mark Cuban is slapping on his dancin’ shoes


Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has done some crazy things in his day. In fact, it’s getting kinda difficult to determine exactly what has been the low-light (if there is such a thing for a billionaire) of his career so far. There were all those times he ran onto the court during games, and there was that time he started dispensing Blizzards at Dairy Queen. But, to us, the image that is seared into our brains is Cuban crying like baby when he presented Dirk Nowitzki with the MVP trophy. Luckily, Cubes is reclaiming his manhood and dignity with his latest project.

Just like so many twinkle toes before him, Cuban is set to be a contestant on the wildly popular Dancing With the Stars! We’d really, really love to bust Cuban’s balls over this move, but actually we can’t complain because until now we’ve never cared to watch the stupid show. Anyways, when the show kicks off its latest season on September 24, then we’ll have all the ammo we need to completely annihilate him. Call us crazy, but we’re guessing that Cuban makes Kenny Mayne look like Baryshnikov.

Links:

[SI.com]: Cuban joins next cast of Dancing With The Stars

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Rangers’ bats must’ve been tired


1. Not Today: The day after the Rangers’ incredible 30-run outing, they were stopped in their tracks by the Mariners. Seattle, who leads the wild card and is one game back of the Angels, beat the Rangers 9-4. Ichiro had three hits and three RBIs, and Jose Guillen and Jose Vidro both homered in the victory. Jeff Weaver improved to 4-0 this month with another solid outing. Besides Brad Wilkerson (4-4, HR), the Rangers couldn’t get too much going offensively. They have the second-worst record in the AL, above only Tampa. The Mariners now have the third-best record in the majors, thanks mainly to a 41-24 mark at home.

2. Welcome Back: In Joel Zumaya’s second appearance since coming off the DL, he cost the Tigers a game. In a game that was scoreless through nine innings, Zumaya allowed three runs in the tenth, giving the Tigers another loss and putting them 2.5 games back in the standings. Both starters pitched brilliantly, with Nate Robertson and Jake Westbrook combining for 16.2 scoreless innings. The Tigers scored one run in the bottom of the tenth but couldn’t mount anything more. Since they had the best record in the majors on July 21, Detroit is 10-22. Now they have only the eighth-best record in the league, and they are five games out of the wild card chase. Unless the Tigers turn it around now, they will be out of the playoffs this season.

3. Padre Power: The San Diego Padres have held on tightly to their wild card lead. After losing the first game in New York, they won the last two, with their offense as the key component. San Diego won 9-8 on Thursday, in a game where two All Star closers both blew saves. Both Trevor Hoffman and Billy Wagner gave up runs in the ninth, then the Padres won in the tenth off Adrian Gonzalez’s homer. The Mets stole five bases in this one, including Jose Reyes’ 68th, but still lost. The Padres had 15 hits, including five players with multi-hit games. They still trail the nearly unstoppable Diamondbacks by three games, but it doesn’t matter as they have extended their wild card lead to two games. The Mets’ two straight losses have not affected their division lead, as both the Braves and Phillies have gone on losing streaks of their own.

Player of the Day: Mike Piazza, A’s: 4-5, HR, 5 RBIs in a 12-2 win over the Devil Rays. The A’s have won five straight and are one game above .500.

Categories
Toronto Maple Leafs

Stanley Cup ring sits at bottom of Gulf of Mexico for decades before being found



Bling has come a long way since the
late 60s.

If you’re anything like us then you think that those losers with metal detectors combing the beaches and open fields of America are complete douches. But, the sun shines on a dog’s butt every now and then and if someone is willing to spend countless hours hunting for lost treasures then eventually they’ll find something valuable to heap onto the pile of beer can tabs, silverware and rusted screws. Well, a few weeks back, Mark DesErmia became the dog’s butt and a Toronto Maple Leafs’ Stanley Cup ring served as the golden ray of sunshine.

DesErmia was doing some underwater hunting with a water proof metal detector off the shores of Florida when the detector honed in on what turned out to be the 1967-68 championship ring of Toronto right-winger Jim Pappin.

After being traded to the Chicago Blackhawks, Pappin was so disgusted with the Maple Leafs that he cut all ties to the team and gave the ring to his father in law. Peter Kyrzakos wore the ring with pride until one fateful day back in the 1970’s when he lost it while on vacation in Vero Beach, Florida. Fast forward some 30 years later or so and DesErmia finds the ring and is now basically holding it for ransom.

DesErmia said he’s been offered $20,000 for the ring but that he would gladly give it back to Pappin for a reward.

But Pappin seems content to pay up for his own property as long as it comes back home.

What’s amazing is that the guy wants to give it back to me,” he said.

We really do just love a story with a happy ending. Especially one as wild as this; which got us to thinking. We know it’s a long shot, but we lost several of our favorite G.I. Joes on the beaches of California back in 1982, so if anyone comes across `em just give us a ring. Thanks.

Links:

[Hockey Rants]: Sunken Treasure: Leafs Cup Ring
[TSN.ca]: Stanley Cup ring found in Gulf of Mexico

Categories
Soccer

Goal celebrations in soccer just ain’t what they used to be

There is absolutely no way on God’s green earth that anyone knows what a soccer player is going to do next. Heck, we don’t think that they even know what they are doing half the time. Sure, these guys know what to do when the ball is in play, but it’s the post goal celebrations that have us shaking our heads.

According to The Offside, this guy earned a $1,200 fine and a six-month suspension for his undie escapade. If that kind of revelry gets a fella six months then we’re figuring that this `jubilant’ soccer dude got a lifetime ban from the sport following his celebration.

Links:

[The Offside]: Iranian Striker Celebrates Goal by taking off his Pants

Categories
New York Knicks

Stephon Marbury starts flopping like a fish outta water


Apparently Stephon Marbury is somewhat tapped into reality because after having a few days to soak up all of America’s outrage and hate towards him, he’s rethought his comments about Michael Vick’s situation and is currently in damage control mode.

What Michael Vick did was wrong, and he has admitted his guilt,” Marbury said in a statement released by the Knicks to New York newspapers. “He should be punished. However, he should be given a second chance, as others have received for more serious crimes.

And as far as his statements about how “we don’t say anything about people who shoot deer or shoot other animals,” well, he’s backing away from that bomb as well.

There is no list for which animals should be killed and which shouldn’t. I love animals and none of them should be harmed However, we don’t react the same when other animals are being killed for sport or the sake of human pleasure.

We’ve said it before and we’re certain that we’ll be saying it again, but everyone is getting pretty damn sick of athletes (and coaches, that means you Billy Donovan) like Marbury, Kobe Bryant and Clinton Portis making outlandish statements and then expecting that the world is completely gullible when they recant and brush some dirt over their mess. It’s not that hard guys, first you think about the matter at hand, you form an opinion and THEN you speak with the media and intelligently defend your point of view.

Look, if Marbury truly believes that dogfighting is a sport (as outlandish and ridiculous as that concept is) then he should probably just keep it to himself. But he told the world and that’s fine because, after all, we are allowed to think whatever we want in this country. Just don’t expect everyone to forget about your “shoot from the hip” comments because your publicist constructed a phony apology and gave you a sound byte for the media.

Links:

[MSN.FoxSports.com]: Report: Marbury backs off Vick comments

Categories
MLB General

Tim Kurkjian basically wet himself talking about the Rangers-Orioles game

If you thought that the Ranger faithful got excited about Wednesday night’s monumental 30-3 victory in which they rallied from a 3-0 hole, just wait until you get a load of Tim Kurkjian on Baseball Tonight. You can actually hear his inner prepubescent child cry out in elation.

Now, if we could just get Woody Paige to start showing a little on-air zaniness then we’d be set.