We’ll admit it, we’re not the biggest fans of women’s pool. However, we are willing to give it a shot if every match has as many bloopers as this one. The announcer lady brings her “A-game” to the pool table for this contest, showing off her amazing penis drawing abilities and immediately following it up with a huge fart. That’s skill.
Say what you will about Mike Tirico, but he would never try to blame a fart on Tony Kornheiser or Jaws. And that’s why he’s a pro.
1. Dirk saves the best for last
Thanks to a last-second dagger from Dirk Nowitzki, the Mavs are in the playoffs. With the scored tied at 94 apiece, Nowitzki got a trey to fall with 0.9 seconds on the clock and Dallas secured a seed in the second season. Nowitzki scored a game-high 32 points in the 97-94 home floor victory to go along with 21 points – all in the second half – from Jason Terry. The twosome was basically impossible to stop down the stretch as they combined for 25 points in the fourth quarter. After picking up a big time road win in New Orleans on Tuesday, the Jazz returned to their disappointing ways away from home. Utah is now 17-23 on the road, but thanks to its division title, it will have homecourt advantage in the opening round regardless of how their regular season ends.
2. Warriors dealt a brutal blow
For the Nuggets and the Warriors, last night’s battle was perhaps the most important game to date for either team. In the end, Allen Iverson and the Nuggets proved too difficult a challenge and laid claim to a one game lead in the home stretch of an intense playoff race. A.I. posted 33 points in the 114-105 win at Golden State and the Nuggets finally have a measure of breathing room. Carmelo Anthony added 25 points, nine rebounds and five steals while J.R. Smith came off the bench to score 24. Led by Baron Davis’ third triple-double of the season (20 pts, 10 reb, 11 ast), all five starters for the Warriors finished in double-figures. But the numbers mean nothing at this point because the loss was devastating for Golden State. The Warriors almost have to win their final three games while praying the Nuggets drop at least two.
3. LA beats LA in LA
The Lakers only got 16 points out of Kobe Bryant last night against the Clippers and that was 16 more than they needed. Los Angeles grabbed a road victory by pounding the Clippers 106-78. What was briefly a rivalry between the two L.A. clubs has again turned into a manhandling. On Thursday, Luke Walton had the honors of personally dismantling the Clips by scoring 18 points while Lamar Odom went off for a double-double with 14 points and 13 rebounds. The Lakers are still trying to catch New Orleans for the top seed in the playoffs, but need to move up another 1 ½ games to do so. Coincidentally, the two just so happen to be playing each other tonight.
Thursday’s Player of the Day: Allen Iverson @ Golden State 48 min, 33 pts (FG: 12-21, 3FG: 1-2, FT: 8-12), 3 reb, 9 ast, 3 stl
Friday’s Game to Watch: New Orleans (55-23) @ Los Angeles Lakers (54-25)
This game has a whole slew of storylines. First off, the clubs are battling it out for conference supremacy with Nawlins currently holding a slight (1 ½ game) lead over the Lakers. To date, the Hornets own a 2-1 advantage in head-to-head battles this season, including a 118-104 victory in Los Angeles back in November. But, perhaps, the most compelling reason to watch this game has to do with the matchup between the two most popular candidates for league MVP. Kobe Bryant is the most explosive scorer in the league and he’s become one of the best team players in the league, averaging 28.7 points, 6.4 rebounds and 5.4 assists per game. Meanwhile, Chris Paul is playing out of his mind this season, averaging 21.2 points and posting league-best numbers in assists (11.5) and steals (2.7) per game.
Buzzer Beater: Good news for Miami Heat fans, if there are any left. The team is desperate to get people back into the arena after an embarrassing 14-64 season, which means cheap seats!
The team with the NBA’s worst record is offering $10-per-game season tickets for 2008-09.
The Miami Heat announced the “Ten Gets You In!” promotion on Wednesday. The seats selling for $10 are in the upper deck behind the baselines.
Get ’em while they’re hot!
Personally, we love beer. Can’t get enough of the stuff. However, some people – namely over 100 college presidents and A.D.s – have a problem with the excessive beer commercials that ran during the NCAA Tournament. Now, while we love the suds, we really hate some of those stupid ads because A) they’re stupid, and B) they usually get more air time than the games themselves. But these college bigwigs hate the commercials for a whole different set of reasons.
The Center for Science in the Public Interest in Washington, D.C., which helped organize the letter, accused the NCAA of violating its own policies that supposedly limit beer advertising to 60 seconds per hour and no more than 120 seconds per telecast. The center said it counted 200 seconds and 240 seconds of beer advertising during Saturday’s two semifinal games, and 270 seconds during Monday night’s final, when Kansas defeated Memphis 75-68 in overtime.
The NCAA bylaws do not allow any advertising for hard alcohol.
“Given the persistent problems caused by underage and excessive college drinking, much of it in the form of beer, we find it inconceivable that the NCAA’s profiting from beer promotion during the telecasts of college basketball games comports with the best interests of higher education, sports, or student welfare,” the letter said.
After condemning the excessive use of beer ads, the letter concluded by asking the NCAA to return to its routine practices of profiting off athletes.
Links:
[NewsObserver.com]: Colleges condemn NCAA tourney beer ads
Everyone knows Kobe Bryant is more than a superstar, he’s a superhero when dons the Lakers purple and gold uniform. And just like the original Man of Steel, Bryant can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Okay, so maybe he can’t, but apparently he can leap moving Aston Martins in a single bound.
But don’t believe everything you see because just like Superman, Bryant got a little help from the FX studio. C’mon, you don’t think Jerry Buss would actually allow Kobe to jump a moving vehicle, did you?
Most people are sick and stinking tired of hearing about Brett Favre’s retirement. In fact, nobody really believes the guy is retired because until the Packers take to the field without a No. 4 on the roster, he could still weasel his way back into uniform. Personally, we’re pretty content with Favre riding off into the sunset, but we can’t speak all the Cheeseheads out there. So, we’ll let this babe handle that.
1. Suns rise to the occasion
With 12 minutes left in the game, San Antonio looked like they might once again crush the hopes of the Suns, but Shaquille O’Neal and Steve Nash didn’t allow that to happen. Phoenix ran out of SA with a 96-79 victory after outscoring the Spurs 24-11 in the fourth quarter. Shaq recorded half of his 16 points in the period and two-time MVP Nash scored eight of his 12 points (10 ast) to win the season-series 3-1. The Suns are still sitting in sixth place, but with the victory they are now just ½ a game away from catching San Antonio, currently second, in the standings. As always, the bad blood was flowing throughout the contest, culminating in the furious fourth quarter when Bruce Bowen sent a forearm into the chest of Amare Stoudemire as the Suns forward set a pick at halfcourt. Guess who got called dirty after the game.
2. Hornets romp the T-Wolves
The Hornets needed a win over Minnesota in order to maintain their lead over the rest of the West and, of course, they got it. Using a 41-point, third-quarter outburst, followed by 33 points in the fourth, New Orleans cruised to a 122-90 victory, grabbing its team-best 55th win. Chris Paul was back to his old tricks, posting 19 points and 16 assists while Peja Stojakovic finished with 24 and David West scored 22. It’s starting to look more and more like the Hornets are really going to grab the top seed in the West after missing the second season entirely last year. Byron Scott won’t get the coach of the year award over Doc Rivers this season, but the guy has got to get some credit for his abilities. He helped turn around the Nets when he was there and he’s shocked the world this season by taking his Bugs from worst to first.
3. Wiz continues to improve
Boston doesn’t have much to play for as the season comes to a close, but Washington certainly does. Thanks to a 109-95 home floor victory, Washington is now just two games behind a struggling Cleveland squad. The Wizards would love to steal homecourt advantage in the playoffs away from the Cavs and surprise the league with a deep run. It might sound crazy, but with a healthy roster and a raucous crowd, the Wiz could be in line for some a serious magic act. Antawn Jamison double-doubled with 27 points and 11 rebounds while Caron Butler scored 13 to go with 10 assists. Gilbert Arenas came off the bench to post 13 points on 5-of-14 shooting. The Celtics got 63 points out of their Big Three, but couldn’t recover from a 27-18 spanking in the third quarter.
Wednesday’s Player of the Day: Chris Bosh vs. Milwaukee 40 min, 32 pts (FG: 11-18, 3FG: 1-2, FT: 9-11), 11 reb, 2 ast, 3 stl, 4 blk
Thursday’s Game to Watch: Denver (47-13) @ Golden State (47-31)
Sure, Utah and Dallas are hooking it up in a battle of the West’s big boys, but the big game tonight comes from the worst of the conference’s best. The Nuggets and Warriors are sporting identical records, but thanks to a tiebreaker, the Nuggets are currently holding the last playoff spot. Of course, that might not last long because Denver isn’t nearly as good on the road (16-23) as they are at home (31-8). And we all know what an overwhelming atmosphere Golden State can be after watching the crowds go wild in last year’s postseason. If you want a preview of playoff intensity then this is the place to be.
Buzzer Beater: In the “no duh!” moment of the day, O.J. Mayo declared that he is forgoing the remainder of his eligibility at USC in order to go pro. Mayo is expected to go in the first 10 picks and there’s no doubt that he will make some sorry team very, very happy. The freshman led the Trojans to a first round defeat at the hands of fellow phenomenal freshman Michael Beasley and his Wildcats by posting team-highs of 20.7 points, 4.5 rebounds and 3.3 assists per game. Unlike his college coach, we should expect big things from Mayo in the NBA.
Just when it looks like the WWE can’t possibly get any more outrageous, they go off and do something like this…and totally redeem themselves!!
World Wrestling Entertainment is inviting the two senators to compete in a match on Monday Night Raw on April 21.
“Forget about who’s better prepared when the phone rings at 3 a.m. and find out who’s better when the bell rings,” says an ad on WWE’s Web site.
There’s no immediate word on whether either side will accept the invitation.
Yea, that makes a lot of sense. The odds of Clinton and Obama going head-to-head in a WWE ring is about as likely as Ric Flair wanting to show off his sweet dancing moves on a retarded reality show. Oops, too late.
Links:
[King5.com]: WWE invites Clinton, Obama to wrestle
If Jay Cutler wants to be the next John Elway then he’s going about it all wrong. Personally, we enjoyed when Cutler threw Brandon Marshall under the bus, but Elway said on Wednesday that he would have done things a little differently.
“As a quarterback, you’ve got to take a leadership role,” Elway said. “Jay has that last year under his belt. I’m sure he feels a lot better where he’s going. They need someone to take over. That’s a good move on Jay’s part.
“Bottom line, there’s talk and there’s wins,” he said.
Elway can’t recall when he earned the trust and respect of his teammates. He said it just stemmed from winning games.
“You’ll feel them follow you,” he said. “There are different ways to lead — everyone has a different way. Jay will have his own personal way, too. It’s just a matter of when you gain the respect of those teammates. That’s when leadership comes. They respect what you’re doing.
Oh, it’s what you do that matters!! No wonder Matt Leinart can’t seem to get control of the Cardinals.
Links:
[CBS4Denver.com]: Elway Surprised Cutler Called Out Brandon Marshall
Wanna know what happens when Chaz Michael Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy trade in their ice skates for floor exercises?
1. Jazz grab division title
Utah scored a pathetic nine points in the fourth quarter against New Orleans, but they literally could have gone scoreless and still left the bayou with a win. The Jazz shocked the Hornets at home by pounding them through three quarters to escape with a 77-66 win. The final score represented season lows for both teams and the matchup between the two young stud point guards didn’t really amount to squat. Deron Williams got the best of Chris Paul by dishing out 16 assists to Paul’s nine, but the duo whitewashed each other from the field as each finished with just four points on 2-of-11 shooting. Carlos Boozer wasn’t much better for the Jazz, hitting a mere 5-of-14 from the floor for 10 points. Luckily, Mehmet Okur came through in a big way, scoring a game-high 22 points to go with 17 rebounds. Normally pathetic on the road, the Jazz’s victory in New Orleans clinched the second consecutive Northwest Division title.
2. Warriors tally season-high in points
After going 5-5 over their last 10 games, the Warriors returned to what they do best: score. Golden State posted 77 points in the first half against Sacramento and held on – that’s right, they held on – to win 140-132. The Warriors are tied with Denver for the final playoff spot in the West, but due to tiebreaking rules, they are currently on the outside looking in after Denver put the boots to the Clippers on Tuesday, winning 117-99. The scheduling gods must have seen this back-and-forth race months ago because on Thursday, the Warriors and the Nuggets will match up in a game that could determine the fate of both teams. However, if the Warriors are stroking it like they did against Sacramento then Denver could be in trouble. Led by Baron Davis’ game-high 33 points, six Warriors reached double figures in scoring while the team connected on 52.3 percent from the field and 41.7 percent from behind the arc.
3. Detroit gets Knicked by Isiah’s really bad boys
The Pistons are just going through the motions as the regular season draws to a close and it showed last night against the Knicks. New York simply outplayed Detroit for 36 minutes and by the time the Pistons ripped off 34 points in the final period, it was already too late. Behind 19 points – all in the first half – from Wilson Chandler, the Knicks grabbed a 98-94 victory in The Palace of Auburn Hills. Perhaps the Pistons only have themselves to blame because before the game, the franchise honored Detroit’s all-time team which happened to include current New York coach Isiah Thomas. While the loss is certainly a blow to the Bad Boys collective ego, their season is already over as they get healthy in anticipation of the playoffs. No Detroit starter recorded more than 27 minutes in the contest.
Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Rudy Gay vs. Phoenix 43 min, 36 pts (FG: 13-22, 3FG: 5-6, FT: 5-6), 8 reb, 3 ast, 2 blk
Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Phoenix (52-26) @ San Antonio (53-24)
It just doesn’t get much better than the Suns and the Spurs. The rivalry between these two has been intensifying over the past few seasons and if they meet in the playoffs again this year then it could simply boil over; especially with Shaquille O’Neal in the mix. It’s been five years since Phoenix has won a season-series, but they currently hold a 2-1 advantage this year and one of the victories was in San Antonio. Shaq might miss this game with a hip problem, but that doesn’t lessen the importance in the least. SA is still in the running for the conference’s top record and home court advantage throughout the West while Phoenix, currently sitting in sixth place, is desperately trying to work its way into the top four. Both teams have already locked up spots in the postseason, so it’s all about jockeying for position and pride at this point.
Buzzer Beater: LeBron James’ bad back continues to be an issue for Cleveland and on Tuesday, King James missed his second consecutive practice. Even worse, he might miss tonight’s game against the Nets. The Cavs are currently sitting in fourth place in the Eastern Conference standings and hold a minimal two-game lead over Washington, meaning every win and every loss is critical right now for the defending conference champs.
“We want him healthy in the playoffs,” Brown said. “Yes, we want the fourth seed, but to get the fourth seed and have an unhealthy LeBron throughout the playoff run wouldn’t do us any good. We’ve got to make sure that he’s healthy and he’s able to help us.
