Some southerners out there don’t really understand the magnitude of the rivalry between the Yankees and the Red Sox. More importantly, they don’t really understand the magnitude of the rivalry between the Yankees’ fans and the Red Sox’s fans. For anyone who doesn’t get it, we would like to present exhibit A.
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After spending several years atop “America’s sweethearts” list, NFL fans are really starting to loath the Patriots. A lot of it has to do with the Pats simply being that damn good, but a lot of that could have as much to do with their alleged tendency to bend snap the rules as it does with their offensive goldmines of Tom Brady, Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Laurence Maroney. But for those who love to hate New England, you’re no longer required to fall back on the cheating card because the Patriots are one-trick ponies no more. You may now add druggies and snitches to that list.
Starting New England Patriots offensive lineman Nicholas Kaczur was arrested in April on a charge of illegal possession of prescription painkillers and then secretly cooperated with the federal Drug Enforcement Administration in a sting operation that resulted in the indictment of his alleged drug supplier, according to a lawyer and two people briefed on the investigation.
Kaczur – a 28-year-old, 315-pound offensive tackle – wore a hidden recording device during three different drug transactions in May at gas stations in Foxborough and North Attleborough and a supermarket parking lot in Sharon, according to the lawyer, the two people, and federal court documents. At each of the three transactions, Kaczur paid $3,900 in cash to buy 100 OxyContin pills, a potent prescription pain reliever.
Federal agents arrested the alleged dealer, Daniel Ekasala, moments after the third transaction with Kaczur, said Ekasala’s lawyer. He was indicted by a federal grand jury yesterday on three counts of possession of oxycodone (the main ingredient in the prescription drug OxyContin) with intent to distribute. He is due to be arraigned today in federal court.
Kaczur, approached yesterday afternoon by a Globe reporter as he stood on the front porch of his Attleboro home, denied participating in a DEA investigation or buying drugs. He also said he was not familiar with Ekasala.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, bro,” Kaczur said repeatedly, in response to questions about the investigation. “I don’t know where this is coming from. I don’t know what you are talking about.”
It’s understandable; the use of OxyContin is capable of producing memory loss. Like we’ve said before, if athletes would just stick to using over-the-counter products for their aches and pains then none of this would ever happen.
Links:
[Boston.com]: Patriot arrested, then aids drug sting
You might not agree with Bill Maher all the time. Heck, you might not ever agree with him, but we certainly have his back on this one. Rolling Stone recruited Maher to put together a list of 2007 Dickheads of the Year and his No. 1 selection was the dog burier Michael Vick.
In other news…
[KGBT.com]: Bicycling’s biggest road hazard
[UnCoached.com]: Top 10 Tailgating Schools in the Nation
[The Big Lead]: Who wants to sex Big Brown?
[Lion in Oil]: Tanks from the Twins
[Busted Coverage]: NASCAR beatdown
[Sportsby Brooks]: Sweet Lou shows up in the strangest places
And finally, this is why the best seat to any live wrestling event is on your own couch.
When you go golfing, what’s the biggest problem you encounter? Oh, and getting the beer girl’s number and breaking par don’t count. Obviously, the answer is finding a decent spot to piss. While most normal dudes will just head for the nearest tree or, if you’re our friends, the nearest unattended golf bag, the UroClub allows you to stick your unit in the handle of a replica 7 iron and relieve yourself while taking a couple practice swings. Call us old school, but we’re heading for the woods.
The privacy shield hooks to the sides of the pants or belt and adds stability. This allows freedom of the hands to manipulate the club and zipper.
The entire club is made of a non-porous material. Therefore, caring and cleaning is effortless!
The UroClub is intended to eliminate anxiety and any feeling of uneasiness on the course. It can be emptied at the nearest restroom or later on, when the golfer returns home.
Capacity: Over half a liter, twice the volume commonly urinated.
Length: Like a standard 7 Iron
Special wholesale prices are directed to encourage club makers to brand UroClub and include it in their accessory lines, just like gloves or umbrellas.
Whether for your own use or for your company,
as a curiosity, or a urinary necessity, get UroClub now!
Links:
[UroClub.org]: UroClub Home
We always thought the people with way, way, way too much free time on their hands took up finger jousting, but apparently they go skin kicking as well.
If you’re one of those people who just hates waiting then, boy, do we have a solution for you. The fellas over at WhatIfSports.com used their massive brain power/computer programs to find out who’s going to win the NBA Finals matchup between the Lakers and Celtics long before either team takes to the court for Game 1 on Thursday night. Other than giving yourself a sports almanac from the future, this is the surest thing going.
What follows is an example NBA Finals based on the most common result of those simulations.
GAME 1 Los Angeles 118 @ Boston 115 (OT)
GAME 2 Los Angeles 103 @ Boston 104
GAME 3 Boston 105 @ Los Angeles 95
GAME 4 Boston 89 @ Los Angeles 99
GAME 5 Boston 110 @ Los Angeles 101
GAME 6 Los Angeles 103 @ Boston 107
So, bust out the champagne Beantowners because it’s just a matter of time now. Oh, and in case you were wondering, Kevin Garnett is taking home Finals MVP honors with 20.3 points, 10.8 rebounds, 2.2 assists, 1.7 blocks and 0.8 steals per game.
Links:
[WhatIfSports.com]: NBA Finals Preview
We’ve all played baseball at some point and been totally screwed by the ump. Normally, you just have to suck it up and feel the burn because, after all, you can’t go out and throw a ball at face or anything…or can you?
Links:
[Larry Brown Sports]: How to Send a Message to the Umpire
We’ll never understand why Mike Tyson let his vicious mad in-ring skillz slip away. From knocking out chumps left and right one day to getting fat and slopping ink on his skull the next. It all just ended too quickly for us. Luckily, we now know that Tyson retained some talents from his heyday; in particular, the pulling down serious tail talent.
But, alas, he’s been at it again.
This time Iron Mike didn’t draw blood as he was cosying up with none other than Big Brother party girl AISLEYNE HORGAN-WALLACE.
The former heavyweight champ arrived at London celeb haunt Chinawhite at around 1.30am and made a bee line for the clubs most secluded table, nicknamed by those who use it as the Incognito table.
Which is where pint-sized pop king PRINCE likes to sit when he visits the club.
A source who saw the couple canoodling told us: “Mike had two enormous bouncers flanking the table and proceeded to snog the ear, neck and mouth of his date….who was Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace.
“They stayed until after 3am, working their way through a bottle of Cristal.”
After the two left, the tough guy from Brookyln bought Aisleyne a rose, before they jumped in a car together and disappeared into the night.
Ear nibbling, Cristal, roses … who says romance is dead?
A knockout for a knockout artist; it’s a match made in heaven.
In other news…
[Awful Announcing]: “One ball and no strikes”
[LOLegag.com]: Mike and Mike and Mike on MNF
[The Wizard of Odds]: Google gets even cooler
[DrunkAthlete.com]: Michael Jordan gets sauced with Charles Oakley
[The Big Lead]: Travis Henry will work for food and so will his nine kids
[The Phanatic Magazine]: Kimbo Slice KO’s Lord Stanley
[Sport Syndicate]: Jeff Fisher is O! Ver! Ra! Ted!
[MySA.com]: More bad news for the Spurs
[Big Blue View]: A little something to subdue the Madden fever until August
[Shutdown Corner]: The NFL “exploited Pat,” according to his mom
And finally, Upside and Motor released their rankings of all No. 1 overall picks in the NBA Draft since 1980 and, as most would expect, Shaquille O’Neal and Tim Duncan are tied atop the list with four championship rings apiece, followed by David Robinson at No. 3, LeBron James at No. 4 and Akeem Olajuwon at No. 5. Surprisingly, Dwight Howard shares the fifth spot with the Dream after being in the league for just four years. But what’s even more shocking is that Kwame Brown somehow avoided the Mr. Irrelevant spot, finishing ahead of Pervis Ellison and Michael Olowokandi.
Sure, Kimbo Slice delivered a punch that popped James Thompson’s ear like a zit and Robbie Lawler massaged Scott Smith’s brain through his eye socket, but the chicks defiantly stole the show during EliteXC’s groundbreaking broadcast on Saturday night. Not only were Gina Carano and Kaitlin Young swinging for the fences until the final bell, but somewhere out there, Evander Holyfield was grinning from ear to ear (no offense, Thompson) at the eye-swelling beatdown from Crush Conviction. Of course, Hasim Rahman was simultaneously rubbing his forehead.
In case you happen to ever get so blitzed out of your mind that you decide to jump the fence and go running across the outfield at a major league baseball game, here’s a word of advice: Keep your head on a swivel!
