Like we’ve said before, we know that somewhere deep down inside of soccer there is something that is embodies the art and pageantry of sport, but with so many damn knuckleheads running around on the fields and in the stadiums it gets pretty hard to get past all the shenanigans. C’mon, how are we supposed to take futbol seriously when the refs are running around like that little kid on Ugly Betty.
We’d like to say that this is the fruitiest behavior we’ve ever seen on a soccer pitch, but that would be a blatant lie.
We’ve all heard the stories of what football players do when they, you know, gotta go. And we’ve shown you video of a soccer player who just couldn’t hold it, but don’t be fooled into thinking that nature only calls on athletes during the job.
Dean Blevins is a former ABC college football analyst and current a sports director for KWTV 9 in Oklahoma City and during a recent appearance on a radio show, he couldn’t wait for the commercial break and took a wiz while on the air. Of course, Blevins thought the incident took place off-air which makes it even funnier. You going to have to wait through about the first 1:50 of the clip before the broadcasted peeing occurs; hopefully, can hold out that long because Blevins certainly couldn’t.
We really hate when people try to bring up how sports today are fixed, normally we’d just shake our heads and save our breath because we want to hold out the hope that the courts and fields of America are centered on fair competition. Well, it’s going to become pretty hard to justify the validity of the games if the FBI is correct in their assumptions that one NBA referee has ties to the mob and was actually betting on games, including ones he was officiating.
The name of the ref is being withheld but the allegations are coming to the surface as the feds revealed that they began looking into the matter over a year ago and they are now ready to throw the ref and a bunch of his gangster buddies into the slammer. According to accounts, the zebra had a gambling addiction, bet on some games with illegal bookies, lost his ass and was forced by the mob to fix the games.
We can’t wait to find out who this punk is that’s tarnishing the legitimacy our sacred playing fields, because we really don’t appreciate it. And frankly, we’re going to have to going to have to suggest a good ol’ ferret legging be included somewhere in his punishment once sentencing time rolls around. While we don’t want to create speculation on who the crooked bastard could be, we will say that we’re praying for it to be Joey Crawford. After all, this is a blatant money making call if we’ve ever seen one:
Michael Vick is in a whole heap of trouble right now and, needless to say, his image is taking a serious hit that he will never recover from. People are disgusted by the nature of the crimes that he is being linked to and, as a result, all of his endorsement deals are going down the drain. Well, almost all of them. Apparently, Dodge Nitro is thinking about signing Vick to be the face of their new campaign. They’ve even created a vehicle security system that is personally designed for the Falcons QB.
“Charged with Adrenaline” and dog murder. Sounds like a great slogan to us.
We just couldn’t bring ourselves to watch any of the repeated showings of the ESPY Awards last week, so, other than knowing who won what, we had no idea what went down. In fact, it wasn’t until this morning that we heard of the controversy surrounding co-host LeBron James and his baby boy. Apparently, some people think LBJ was completely out of line when he brought his infant son, Bryce Maximus James, on stage to teach him about hoops and the graceful art of the slam dunk, but we can’t seem to figure out what all the fuss is about. Just looks like normal father-son bonding type stuff to us.
That definitely gives a new meaning to the term “diaper dandy.”
We’ve seen some pretty ingenious practical jokes in our days, but weighing down a soccer ball so that it’s as hard as a rock is about as good as it gets. The simplicity of it all is what really makes this a classic prank.
The leapfrog gag is a tad outdated, but we still appreciate the effort. Now the the creepy/hilarious voiceover, that’s just strange.
Links:
[Our Book of Scrap]: Something To Wake You Out of Your “Mike Vick? Indicted?” Fog
While we don’t do a lot of rugby reporting, you’ll never catch us calling rugby players soft; especially after we heard about Ben Czislowski. Back on April 1, Czislowski was rugby-ing it up for his Australian club (Wynnum) against the appropriately named Tweed Heads when he had a nasty collision with the competition’s Matt Austin. Czislowski’s head had to be stitched up, but it’s all in a day’s work for rugby dudes, right? Not quite.
Four months later, Czislowski went to the doctor because he was suffering from pains in his head and felt lethargic. The good doctor quickly discovered the source of Ben’s problem: Austin’s tooth was embedded in his head!!
I can laugh about it now, but the doctor told me it could have been serious, with teeth carrying germs,” said Czislowski.
“I’ve got the tooth at home, sitting on the bedside table,” he said. “‘If he (Austin) wants it back he can have it. I’m keeping it at the moment as proof that it actually happened.
Now, we know that having a tooth stuck in your head for four months has got to be totally lame, but we’re still trying to decide on how it compares to having a pearly white lodged in other parts of your anatomy. Hmm, this sounds like a question for Mick Foley. Oh, Mick…
Links:
[Metro.Co.UK]: Rugby player finds tooth stuck in head
We don’t know what show this clip is from, but we’re guessing that it’s the equivalent of America’s Got Talent. And even though there’s no Hoff in the house, you can still color us impressed by this gimmick.
You gotta admit, it’s a helluva lot better than the crappy “talents” we get stuck with here in the States:
Lots of people can’t stand SportsCenter, but they suffer through the broadcasts because, lets face it, nobody can stomach the FSN crews. But SC‘s days might be numbered if Flash Sports Tonight takes off. So, please, please let FST catch on.
Personally, we love the way Doc and Jock Jarrelson tackle the issue of steroids in sports. While a music montage might not exactly be hard-hitting sports journalism, it beats the hell out of watching those stupid Who’s Now segments. And even though FST wasn’t able to show the entire “What a Bunch of Cheating Liars” clip, we were able to get our hands on the exclusive extended video. Top that Cyclops Stu!
We’re not big on speculating about the potential of little kids when it comes to sports, mainly because they’re little freakin’ kids, but lots of people get their kicks outta searching the elementary schools of America in hopes of finding the next Michael Jordan, Derek Jeter or Barry Sanders. The reincarnations of those guys haven’t been discovered just yet, but The Commission has apparently gotten their hands on some tape of the next “Reggie Bush”. So for all you freaks that have been following O.J. Mayo since he was in kindergarten, we’d like to present to you 8-year-old Cody Paul.
We agree that the kid does have some pretty sweet skills, but calling him a “white Reggie Bush” might be a bit over the top. And predicting a Heisman trophy for Paul in 2017 is even more insane. Hey, this kid might turn out to be the best thing ever and we’ll be completely wrong about the hype, but nobody’s going to know for at least 10 years. Until then, we’re going to stick with the field for the 2017 Heisman.
I can laugh about it now, but the doctor told me it could have been serious, with teeth carrying germs,” said Czislowski. 