Most of you out there probably think that you already know about all the blockbuster movies that will be or have been released this summer. Of course, there’s Transformers, The Simpsons Movie, Harry Potter and Something Else Magical, Live Free or Die Hard and ESPN’s pick for greatest movie of all time: I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. But have you heard about the chill inducing, horror flick that’s sending audiences screaming from theaters across the nation? If you haven’t, here’s a sneak peek at The Bronx Pitch Project!
So, what do you do when you get suspended from your job for being a notorious malcontent with a rap sheet that would make Suge Knight blush? Well, if you’re Pacman Jones, you go to the only place on earth where criminals are openly accepted: pro wrestling!
That’s right, Pacman is stepping into the squared circle for a body slamming good time according to “sources close to WTVF-TV in Nashville.” But before you go off thinking that Vince McMahon has just done it again by cashing in on some real life notoriety, you should know that Pacman isn’t signing with the WWE. Nope, turns out that the spontaneously combusting McMahon (that was fake, right?) got scooped on the deal and the suspended Titan will be joining the high-flying, hard-hitting crew at TNA. So far, there has been no comment from the big wigs at TNA, but they did say that they would release a statement soon.
Personally, we’re as sick of Pacman as the next guy and we really just want to see him rot in a cell, but now that we’ve gotten wind of this little gimmick, we’re starting to change our mind. After all, if there’s even a sliver of a chance that we could see Abyss slam Pacman onto a pile of thumbtacks then we’re all in. And, anyways, there’s no way he could be any worse than this, right?
Unfortunately, it looks like the Titans could be big party poopers as they are now threatening to pull the plug on the whole deal because it would be a violation of his contract. While, we’d love to see Pacman get slammed right on his head, if he’s relegated to a strictly speaking role it could be equally, if not more, entertaining. But we’re still holding out hope that there is a Steiner Recliner somewhere in Pacman’s future.
So, we were actually watching FSN last night and what’s more embarrassing is that we were watching The Best Damn Sports Show. But, we have a good excuse; see, they ran one of their Top 50 countdowns and it took a look back at the most devastating hits in sports history. As always, they managed to bring us a painful, painful clip that we had never seen before. So, unfortunately, we have to give them some credit, gosh darnit. Here’s the second most devastating hit in sports history:
One of the best things about Springfield, ??, is that it really is a little slice of Americana presented on a platter every week. So, like any good TV show, The Simpsons shows the highs and lows of modern culture and in the good ol’ U.S. of A., nothing is celebrated quite like the world of sports. So, here’s a list of Top 10 Simpsons Sports Moments according to Barstool Sports. Personally, we can’t get enough of people taking shots to the crotch, so, obviously, we thought that No. 8 should have been much higher on the list.
We know that when you plunk down good money for a ticket to a ballgame, you should be able to do whatever you want, within reason of course, while in your seat. You can cheer, you can boo, heck, you can even fall asleep if you so choose. But, if you decide to do the latter, be prepared to become the laughingstock of the stadium.
We haven’t touched a jump rope since the administration created a horrible six-week program back in sixth grade, but we still remember how frustrating that stupid rope could be. So, we were pretty taken back by Floyd Mayweather Jr. and his mad skills.
With twinkle toes like that, it won’t be long until Dancing with the Stars comes a callin’. Let’s see Emmitt Smith do that!
Now, we probably don’t need to tell you this, but this clip of Charles Barkley getting pranked on the golf course is really, really old. Maybe we could tell because of the ugly fashions of the day or maybe it had to do with the guest appearance by Hersey Hawkins. Nope, the real reason you know this is happened in a time long, long ago is because Sir-cumference actually looks like one half of his current self. While his girth might have increased over time, the one thing that remains the same is that if you put Barkley in front of a camera, you will get a chuckle out of Chuckles.
And don’t worry, if Barkley ever gets his revenge on Hersey, we’ll bring you the tape.
Rodeos have never made much sense to us. Neither have bull fights. So, needless to say, we’re completely perplexed as to why people would stand in the middle of an arena and play chicken with a pissed off bull. Now, we don’t condone violence, but these guys are so stupid that there’s no way we would feel bad if they took a horn gore right in the ass.
Unfortunately, all we got was a little rag-dolling, but it’s not from a lack of wishful thinking. Hmmm, perhaps this could be a suitable punishment for Michael Vick if when he’s found guilty. Seems like a reasonable trade off; he murders dogs by slamming their bodies to the ground, now we’ll see what happens when 1,000 lbs. of snorting beef starts tossing him around.
Lots of people say that baseball is boring and slow, but what they don’t understand is the level of knowledge that players and managers have when it comes to the game. There is so much strategery going on behind the scenes that people just don’t know about. One method that players in Japan have included in their arsenal is the element of surprise. And, boy, have they mastered that one.
While this guy is pretty damn innovative with the ball, we’re guessing that Pete Maravich would have tossed that pitch long ago if he had never picked up a basketball.
Links:
[Awful Announcing]: Satchel Paige Called – He Wants His Pitch Back
Sports are the ultimate in unpredictability; about the only thing that is predictable about sports is that if you watch long enough, anything can happen. And it usually does. Whether it’s soccer, gymnastics, automobile racing, basketball, skateboarding, figure skating, skiing, karate, cricket or table tennis, you just never know what you’re gonna get.