General Sports

Mariah Carey throws like a girl

If Mr. Ceremonial First Pitch Thrower Outer had his say, he probably would have gone to Japan too.

All Other Sports

American pitcher is in the middle of a hairy situation in Japan

It’s bad enough when any professional athlete in any sport test positive for drugs. It’s even worse when someone becomes the first player to fail a drug test in the history of a sport. But the absolute worst has to be getting suspended for pissing dirty and having the banned substance turn out to be a version of Rogaine!

American pitcher Rick Guttormson became the first person in the history of Japanese baseball to fail a drug test after officials revealed that Finasteride, a hair growing agent, was found in his system following a July 13 postgame test. So, why would someone get suspended over trying to get a thick, luxurious head of hair? Well, the stuff does more than conceal bald spots, it’s also used by some as a masking agent.

Apparently, Guttormson has been taking the stuff for a couple of years now, but that doesn’t make the Japanese Bud Seligs any happier about the situation. In addition to receiving a 20-day suspension from the Japan Pacific League, his team, the Softbank Hawks, were also fined $63,000. Now, we don’t know much about the current state of the hair restoration market, but we’re going to guess that a toupee would have been a whole lot cheaper.


[]: A hair-raising story from Japan

MLB General

Dice-K isn’t the only one with some wicked pitches

Lots of people say that baseball is boring and slow, but what they don’t understand is the level of knowledge that players and managers have when it comes to the game. There is so much strategery going on behind the scenes that people just don’t know about. One method that players in Japan have included in their arsenal is the element of surprise. And, boy, have they mastered that one.

While this guy is pretty damn innovative with the ball, we’re guessing that Pete Maravich would have tossed that pitch long ago if he had never picked up a basketball.


[Awful Announcing]: Satchel Paige Called – He Wants His Pitch Back

All Other Sports

Shaving another man isn’t gay right?

We can imagine the questions asked by UFC fighters Mark Coleman and Wanderlei Silva before agreeing to do a Shick commercial for Japanese television:

“This is definitely not airing in the United States right?”
“I only have to shave his… face… right?”
“Can there be a UFC Fighters are not gay disclaimer?”
“How much are we getting paid?”

God bless the Japanese and their crazy commercials.

[Ad Freak]: Ex-UFC fighters in a shave to the death