Tag: video

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All Other Sports

This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?

There are lots of sports out there that never make it to the surface of society and they remain as hidden gems with their own colorful characters and stories until someone comes along and exposes it to the world. Skateboarding got its start this way and now it might become an Olympic event. Surfing had to fight for its chance to shine in the mainstream spotlight, but now it’s seen by many as a beautiful combination of grace and agility. We’d like to say we’ve brought you the next big underground sports subculture, but, unfortunately, we’re bringing you this instead:

Listen, it’s a really slow day in sports and we just don’t care about the Beckhams coming to America.

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All Other Sports

We knew watching The Karate Kid would pay off one day

For all you out there who don’t know about G4, it’s a cable channel that’s shows all kind of weird shows and covers the world of video games and comic books. Basically, it’s a nerd’s best friend. One of the channel’s shows is Ninja Warrior and G4 is currently conducting a competition to find one select ninja wannabe to be flown to Japan this fall where they will compete to become the next official Ninja Warrior! Considering that we’re a bunch of nerds at heart and becoming a ninja has always been a passion of ours, we decided to send in an audition tape of our own.

Oh, we’re definitely bringing the Ninja Warrior title to Sportscolumn! See ya in Japan, suckers!

Links:

[MiamiHerald.com]: TV show seeking ninjas
[G4TV.com]: Ninja Warrior Home Page

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San Antonio Spurs

Tony Parker is having one busy summer

Now that Tony Parker and Eva Longoria are officially married, you might think that Tony is going to take a break from his rapping career, right? Wrong! Unfortunately, the Finals MVP is still chasing the bling-bling dream of a glitzy hip-hop vocation and we have his new video to prove it. Here is Mr. Longoria’s latest single, Premier Love. Enjoy.

Personally, we think that Parker should stick to penetrating the lane, but he seems to have a pretty good life built up for himself right now with the championship rings, trophies and some premiere eye candy on his arm. Yup, the rapping might stink, but we can’t argue with the fact that Tony Parker is currently sitting on top of the world.

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All Other Sports

Chicks + exercise ball + boredom = funny stuff

For the most part, we’re used to watching idiotic guys doing dumb and painful stuff on camera, so it was rather refreshing when we came across this video of some girls going Jackass with an exercise ball. While we doubt that these girls ever get their own show on MTV, we’re stoked that they’re at least giving the whole ‘hurt yourself for laughs’ routine a go.

Hey, Steve-O started off by swallowing a fish and then regurgitating it and look at him now. We say keep up the good work girls and shoot for the stars. Of course, we’re talking about the stars that are seen after a good whack to the noggin, but if fame follows, more power to ya.

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All Other Sports

The future of sports drinks is upon us

We don’t know about you, but we’re getting sick of Powerade and Gatorade and Gatorade A.M. and Gatorade P.M. and all of the other Gatorade flavors out there. Frankly, we’re burnt out on all of `em and we’re not even sure that they even make a difference in our performance on the court. So, boy were we glad when we saw that the sports hydration drink business finally had some new competition. Playa-Ade is in the house boy!

We’ve tried Playa-Ade and we’ll take Fsho’ Green Apple over that old school yellow crap any day, but be warned, they ain’t lying about the side effects. We’re still suffering from fits of screaming and can’t seem to stop ourselves from getting in peoples’ grills.

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NFL General

Another reason why the NFL needs better drug testing

For all you people out there who think that rage is the only emotion that can result from illegal drug use in the world of football, think again. There can be a variety of reactions that can occur from taking medications that are not specifically prescribed for an athlete. So, the next time you are watching your favorite team and wondering if they might be on drugs, here a few giveaways to look out for:

That goes a long way in explaining the Raiders pitiful offensive performance last year.

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All Other Sports

IRL didn’t like the Kanaan/Hornish fight, but we did

The fines finally came down after the brawl between the crews of Tony Kanaan and Sam Hornish Jr. following a race in Watkins Glen, N.Y., on Sunday and the Indy Racing League didn’t go easy on the fellas. Both drivers have been fined an unknown amount and placed on probation for the remainder of the year, while each driver’s team was fined $25,000 for unsportmanlike conduct and also placed on probation until 2008.

The most memorable moment from the whole pit road debacle was when Hornish’s pops gave a two handed shove to Kanaan and started the big brawl. Daddy was given a one race suspension and got the same probation sentence as everyone else who was involved. We know that the IRL can’t put up with this kind of crap from their drivers and crews, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t totally entertaining.

If it was up to us, every race would end with a brawl and a bunch of smack talk. It’s better than climbing a stupid fence.

Links:

[SI.com]: IRL fines teams $25,000 each for Watkins Glen fracas

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All Other Sports

The fellas on Around The Horn suddenly look a lot more intelligent

We complain a lot about the annoying guys behind SportsCenter desks, but at least they’re better than what is offered across the pond. Although, we could totally see Stu Scott and Scott Van Pelt doing some of the exact same things.

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All Other Sports

Phil Hellmuth humiliates himself again

We haven’t ever met anyone who likes Phil Hellmuth; sure, he’s a great poker player, yada, yada, yada, but at the end of the day, he’s a whiny brat that has the capabilities to get us more riled up than those crazy chicks on Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School. So, needless to say, we were more than thrilled to come across this video of Hellmuth behind the wheel of a race car for an UltimateBet promotional shoot. The main reason being that he went Nick Hogan on the track and ended up going head first into a pole.

We’re pretty sure that he completely blamed the crash on the car.

Links:

[BaltimoreSun.com]: Poker pro survives crash, shrugs shoulders

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All Other Sports

Being retarded goes a long way in backyard wrestling

We’ve showed you just how idiotic and dangerous pro wrestling can be when complete morons step inside the ropes with the sole purpose of shocking the masses or murdering their opponent. But, at least these guys are getting paid to put their bodies on the line. The pay probably sucks, but they’re still being compensated for their efforts. The even bigger numbskulls are the kids who try to imitate these extremists, seemingly thinking that they are invincible. Guess what; you’re not. And while dropping you’re friend on his head off your roof might sound like fun, apparently it’s not all that great. But, that doesn’t mean it’s not hilarious to make fun of just how stupid wannabes can be.

Good luck making it to the big time, kids. You’re going to need it.