Author: clay

Categories
Soccer

Soccer showoff gets no respect for his skills from his peers

We don’t know a lot about soccer, but we do know that most of these guys enjoy a good fight. So, when some punk decides to stop using his feet and begins to rely solely on bouncing the ball on his head like a seal, you know that someone is gonna get pissed. Luckily for us, that someone delivered a hit to `seal boy’ that would make Ray Lewis beam with pride.

Don’t you wish Lefty would have the same reaction should Tiger ever decide to get cocky and do his little ball-bouncing wizardry at the course again? Okay, maybe it’s just us.

Links:

[The Offside]: A Seal Clubbing in Brazilian Football

Categories
College Football

Oregon Ducks fans just love their booze and the cops just love bustin’ em


We showed you how Oregon’s mascot whooped the butt of a giant-headed cougar during a Houston/Oregon football game. Well, it turns out that Donald was probably sloshed. We have absolutely no proof to back up our claim, but we do know that there are plenty of Ducks’ faithful who like to partake in some refreshing adult beverages during the game. Even if they shouldn’t be.

A minimum of 57 people were booted from the Ducks game this weekend for drinking violations, including three folks who were arrested. But the arrests weren’t limited to the stadium itself. Police arrested an unspecified number of people for driving under the influence after leaving the game and there were also a pair of unfortunate drinkers who got thrown in jail for drinking while watching the game offsite.

Eugene police officers, Lane County sherriff’s deputies, and university DPS officers kept a watchful eye for those that had partied beyond their ability to behave appropriately, and for those attempting to drink in parts of the stadium where alcohol is not allowed,” Doug Mazon with the Eugene Police Deptartment said.

We’re kind of wondering if the reporters at KGW might be tossing a few back as well because we’re pretty sure there are only two Ts in “deptartment.” Anyways, we know that stuff like this happens at every game, every week across the nation, but 57 seems just a bit excessive to us. Maybe the Ducks could cut down on those numbers a bit if they simply adopted and adapted some of these suggestions from those fancy pants Ivy Leaguers.

Links:

[KGW.com]: 57 people ejected from Ducks game for drinking violations

Categories
All Other Sports

O.J. Simpson does not like people who aren’t "straight shooters"


The Juice was at it again as he got arrested on Sunday on chargers of robbing sports memorabilia from an auction house that was setting up shop inside of a Las Vegas hotel. Apparently, OJ showed up to the room with some thugs under the guise that they were customers, but according to Bruce Fromong, another collector inside the room, those were not Simpson’s intentions.

The door burst open and they came in almost commando style, O.J. Simpson and some of his people, I guess you would call it, with guns drawn,” Fromong told ABC’s “Good Morning America” Monday. “O.J. at that time was saying, ‘I want my stuff. I want my stuff.’

“The thing in my mind as soon as I saw him, I’m thinking, ‘O.J., how can you be this dumb? You’re in enough trouble.”’

Fromong said Simpson later left him a voice mail message telling him some of Fromong’s things were “mixed up” with his and asking how he could give them back.

OJ claims that he was simply trying to get back items that were stolen from him. Things are still being sorted out, but Simpson was charged with two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon and conspiracy to commit a burglary with a firearm on Sunday night. He could be facing up to 30 years on each robbery count if he’s found guilty.

Oh, but it gets better. Leave it to TMZ.com to unearth the audio of the Juice’s holdup in which a voice believed to be Simpson is heard shouting “Don’t let nobody out of this room,” and “Motherf***ers! Think you can steal my s*** and sell it?”

To be fair though, Fromong said that he never saw a weapon or felt threatened by OJ at any time, but two guns were seized by police during their investigation. We don’t know what the heck Simpson was thinking with this stunt, but we’re thrilled that everyone walked out of the hotel with their heads still attached.

Links:

[WAVE3.com]: Audiotape released of sports memorabilia dispute involving O.J. Simpson in Las Vegas
[TMZ.com]: O.J.’s Alleged Robbery – Caught on Tape!

Categories
Golf

This is what happens when Jackass and the Golf Channel violently cross paths

Yeah, it’s Monday and, yeah, life kinda stinks when you have to leave your weekends of football and ice coldies for another five days of slaving for the man.  Well, here’s a great way to let out some of that left over aggression or to pick you back up from a Monday morning let down.  Of course, you have to find an idiot friend who’s willing to be a human target for you, but that shouldn’t be too difficult.

Any volunteers?

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Human Target Practice Using Golf Balls

Categories
College Football

Early season Heisman watch



McFadden could really be big pimpin’
after this season: how does Heisman
winner and No. 1 overall pick in the NFL
Draft sound?

We’re only entering the third week of the college football season, but it’s never too early to start getting worked up over the best players in the nation. And there are a lot of talented guys this year who could be taking home the hardware in December. Here’s how the college gridiron studs stack up going into, or in Steve Slaton’s case, coming out of, week 3:

1. Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas

Arkansas didn’t play last week, which means Darren McFadden hasn’t been able to add to his 181 rushing/receiving yards, 19 return yards, 42 passing yards or two touchdowns yet. But McFadden will have a great opportunity to make a serious Heisman statement when the Razorbacks head to Tuscaloosa for their SEC opener against Alabama. McFadden will be facing a solid run-stopping defense in a hostile stadium, but after an extra week’s rest he should be ready for the challenge. However, if history is any indication then he’ll end up with about 100 yards on the ground and a touchdown.

2. John David Booty, QB, USC

John David Booty looked good in the Trojans season opener as he went 21-of-32 for 206 yards and three touchdowns in a 38-10 victory over Idaho. Now, after an early season bye week, USC will have a much more difficult opponent when they travel to Lincoln, NE., for a match-up with the No. 14 Cornhuskers. Last year, Booty passed for 257 yards (25-of-36) and three touchdowns as USC won 28-10 in the City of Angels. But it probably won’t be quite so easy this year considering that the Blackshirts have held opposing quarterbacks to just 124 yards per game (41.2 completion percentage) while picking off three passes.

3. Steve Slaton, RB, West Virginia

Steve Slaton did it again last night as he carried the load for the No. 4 Mountaineers of West Virginia with 137 yards rushing (147 total) and three touchdowns in a 31-14 win against the Terrapins, who ironically looked like they were moving in slow motion at times against Slaton. Now just one touchdown away from tying a the school record of 42, Slaton has already racked up 465 rush/receiving yards and nine TDs on the year. Not too shabby for just three games. Pat White, who many figure could be Heisman finalist as well, stayed fairly quiet on the evening (8-of-13 for 95 yards passing with 22 yards and a TD rushing), allowing the consistent criticism of how the two will split votes to be quelled for at least a week.

4. Colt Brennan, QB, Hawaii

Hawaii needed overtime to get past Louisiana Tech, 45-44, which allowed Colt Brennan to set a school record for completions in a game (43) and his 548 yards were the second most in school history. Brennan has now thrown for at least 400 yards in eight consecutive games and has already accumulated 964 yards (77-for-101) and 10 touchdowns in only two games. Brennan looked mortal last year when UNLV crossed the ocean to the Big Island where they limited him to 296 yards with two touchdowns and two interceptions. Since then Brennan has thrown for 59 scores and only nine picks.

5. Brian Brohm, QB, Louisville

Brian Brohm threw for 223 yards and two touchdowns on a mere eight completions in the first quarter of a 58-42 shootout against Middle Tennessee State. By the time the game ended, Brohm had a career high 401 yards and five touchdowns to bring his season totals up to 776 yards and 9 TDs. Brohm could be commanding another air assault when the Cardinals travel to Lexington for a game against rival Kentucky. And if the Heisman trophy isn’t motivation enough, he should have some added incentive to put a hurting on the Wildcats after the Kentucky athletic department erected billboards of their well-known players throughout Louisville.

Categories
All Other Sports

You’d think rubber balls would cushion your impact, but you’d be wrong

We’ve brought you plenty of crazy `sports’ in the past; some of `em were pretty cool, some of `em were complete wastes of time, *cough**cough*finger jousting*cough*. But we think we might have hit another homer with the discovery of our latest favorite pastime. So, without further ado, we bring to you BallBall, or, as it is more commonly known, “the sport for idiots.” While we couldn’t agree more with the catchy moniker, we also can’t wait to give it a go.

Links:

[Seal Clubbers]: This Is Gold Jerry! Gold!

Categories
New England Patriots

Even Roger Goodell bows down to the great Bill Belichick


Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who thinks that NFL commish Roger Goodell just got soft. After Bill Belichick intentionally broke the rules during the very first week of the season, Goodell decided to dish out measly fines of $500,000 to Belichick, $250,000 to the Patriots and took away the team’s first-round draft pick next year if they reach they playoffs and second and third rounders if they don’t.

Talk about a slap on the wrist! He says that the draft picks will hurt the team more than suspending Belichick. Okay, whatever, he’s got his reasoning and who are we to argue. After all, his tenure so far has been pretty spectacular with his gift of Pacman Jones to professional wrestling and his lengthy suspensions of other notorious bad boys. But what gets us are the puny fines. $750,000 combined just seems a bit weak. Just the other day on the other side of the pond, the World Motor Sports Council slapped Team McLaren with a $100 million fine and stripped them of all their points due to a spying scandal! Now, that’s a fine!

It’s blatantly obvious that this isn’t the first time this has happened, regardless of what Belichick says or doesn’t say. So, while it’ll never happen and we all know the comments are in jest, who knows, maybe the Philadelphia Eagles really do have an argument.

I think they should forfeit, man,” said punt returner Reno Mahe, smiling. “We won the Super Bowl. I think we should get it.

I’m going to go trade my NFC championship ring for a Super Bowl ring.

Links:

[KETV.com]: NFL Fines Pats Coach Belichick $500,000
[6ABC.com]: Did The Patriots Cheat in Super Bowl?

Categories
Portland Trailblazers

Oden ignored his injury and now he can forget about his rookie campaign


Thanks for ruining Christmas, Greg! Yea, that’s right; Greg Oden just ruined our Christmas. Sure, it’s still a few months away, but we were already planning our X-Mas day “Rookie Coming Out Party.” Not like a John Amaechi or Christian Laettner coming out party, but the welcoming of the NBA’s future as Kevin Durant and Oden hooked it up for the first time in the bigs. Well, exploratory surgery became microfracture surgery on Thursday and now we’re gonna be stuck watching A Christmas Story for like the billionth time because Oden is out for the season most likely. Now, we used to love that flick, but over the years, “You’ll shoot your eye out” has mutated into a wishful “Please shoot your eye out.”

Oh, well, we couldn’t possibly feel as awful about this as Oden does right?

Greg looked at me as he was coming out of his surgery, and he and his mom, Zoe, probably said ‘sorry’ 20 times,” Blazers general manager Kevin Pritchard said.

“I could feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. And as a leader and as leaders of this organization, my first thought was how lucky we were to have a guy that cares about the organization that much.

Yea, it’s obvious that he really does care about the team. He cares so much, in fact, that he hid his injury from the team and instead of being proactive, he ignored it and threw away his season.

Oden talked about the injury earlier this week in his blog. He said he had a sharp pain about a month ago when he was on vacation.

“I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want to seem like I was complaining or making excuses for anything. Plus, I wasn’t doing anything at the time I realized it hurt, so I figured it couldn’t be anything big,” he said.

We hate to tell you this, but when you’re the No. 1 overall pick in the draft, getting paid millions of dollars from a franchise, getting paid millions of dollars in endorsements and single-handedly took an entire city off the NBA’s suicide watch list then everything is a big deal. Sorry, Greg, but we really hope you get a lump of coal in your stocking this year.

Links:

[Fox Sports]: Oden likely to miss 2007-08 season

Categories
Cincinnati Bengals

Deltha O’Neal’s rottweiler gains one more small measure of revenge for dogs of the world


We all know that America is having a sudden love fest for pit bulls and dogs in general after some athlete, we forget who, got in trouble for running an entire dogfighting operation out of his house. But, like people, some damn dogs are just plain mean. Now, we don’t know if that’s the case with Deltha O’Neal’s rottweiler, but the pooch went nuts this morning and started biting a woman and her 3-year-old kid on their legs and butts at O’Neal’s Cincinnati home.

The Bengals CB wasn’t at home when his dog attacked, but the woman, Jasmie Risco, called the cops around 8:30 and then got disconnected. By the time police responded to the scene, O’Neal had apparently come home and then taken them to the hospital where they were treated.

We don’t know who the lady was or why she was at his house, but we do know that the dog has been quarantined. Sorry, poochie, but this is probably going to mark the end of the road for you we’d guess. It sucks, but don’t worry, it could be worse. You could get drowned, electrocuted, shot in the head, smashed on the ground or be forced to fight to the death with another unlucky soul in order to entertain a wealthy athlete. Instead, you’ll just sit in a cold, hard cage, terrified, for a week or two and then be whisked off by a bunch of people in scrubs to a room where you’ll be put on a metal table and given an injection that makes you really sleepy dead. Then your body will be hauled off and burned in a furnace with all the other strays from the streets of Cincy. See, much better.

Links:

[Cincinnati.com]: Two bitten by dog at O’Neal’s home

Categories
Cleveland Cavaliers

LeBron James is having one busy summer!


Scary thought for all you non-Clevelandites out there, LeBron James just got even better. Yup, after torching the league all the way to the NBA Finals last year, LBJ had Lasik surgery on his eyes which has improved his vision to 20/15 according to the doctor who performed the surgery. He had the surgery over the weekend and is already cleared to get back in the gym to start working on his game.

It seems a little unfair to us quite honestly. After all, we are talking about a 22-year-old who makes rookies and vets alike look like statues on defense. We’re talking about a kid who was dishing out passes as sweet as the Magic Man’s before the surgery; a kid whose long bombs could make dramatic improvement with the added focus. We know that he’s not getting bionic goggles implanted in his pupils, but he’s not gonna go under the knife if it doesn’t give him and additional advantage on the court.

And as if getting ready to defend the Eastern Conference championship isn’t enough for LeBron, turns out that he’ll be hosting the season premier of Saturday Night Live on September 29. We only caught bits and pieces of the ESPY Awards, but James wasn’t half bad in his hosting duties from what we saw. Does that mean he can carry the load of an entire late night comedy franchise on his back? Who knows, but Peyton Manning did it. Michael Jordan did it. Charles Barkley did it. Tom Brady did it. Hell, Jeff Gordon, Joe Montana, John Madden, Hulk Hogan and George freakin’ Steinbrenner pulled it off. So did the Juice, but we won’t hold that against SNL. And anyways, if the comedic load gets too heavy for King James he can always just recruit the other LeBrons to help him out. We’d love to see Wise LeBron and Business LeBron do their thing on stage. Anything is better than watching Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler slaughter the Weekend Update.

Links:

[USA Today]: LeBron James undergoes Lasik eye surgery
[Cleveland.com]: James sees better than ever after eye surgery