Categories
Detroit Tigers

Tiger on the lam



choke artist

An arrest warrant was issued yesterday for Tigers DH Dmitri Young. Young failed to show up for a pre-trial hearing on a domestic violence charge where he is accused of choking a 21-year-old woman in Toledo. Young’s lawyer claimed he had a medical emergency and was out of state but the judge demanded proof from a legitimate medical facility.

Young was placed on the 15 day DL on 5/22. The Tigers said that the warrant would not affect Young’s status with the club and added “cause we’re in first place, bitch!”. That last part was made up…

Dmitri is the older brother of Delmon Young, a Tampa Bay prospect who was suspended 50 games for throwing a bat at an umpire. The Young family must be very proud.

Links:
[Detroit Free Press]: Young, attorney no-shows at hearing; judge wants explanation

Categories
College Basketball

JJ Redick arrested for DUI

The Duke lacrosse team would like to thank JJ Redick for his support. First, during the tourney, he spoke up for them and said they were a great bunch of guys. Now, his arrest for DUI means that when you search for Duke+crime, you aren’t automatically redicted to the Duke lacross homepage.

Early this morning, JJ spotted a police checkpoint and decided that he was too drunk to drive so he made an illegal u-turn and headed the other way. Unfortunately for him, that move only raises suspicions and the cops followed him and pulled him over. Redick blew. Oh, and he also registered a .11 on the breathalyzer in a state where the legal limit is .08. Redick was arrested, booked, and released on $1000 bond.

When asked how he paid the bond, he said, “Straight cash homey. Ain’t nothing but a grand. What’s a grand to me? Ain’t shit … Next time I might shake my dick.”

Links:
[News 14 Carolina]: Redick arrested on DUI charges

Categories
College Football

Jim Bob Cooter suspended for DUI

Athlete DUIs are a dime a dozen these days. But this arrest gets special mention because the guy’s name is Jim Bob Cooter. Jim Bob was driving through Knoxville when he was spotted by the police rolling through a stop sign followed by crossing the center line and driving on the wrong side of the road.

After failing three field sobriety tests, he was charged with first offense DUI and taken to the police station. His breathalyzer came out at .19, more than double the Tennessee limit of .08.

Since Jim Bob is a backup QB, this really doesn’t affect the team at all… which is why Tennessee Coach Phillip Fulmer put his foot down and suspended Cooter for the season opener against Cal. In order to get back on the team, Jim Bob would need to undergo extensive alcohol evaluation and adhere to certain internal requirements. We assume some of those requirements are not to get shitfaced, don’t provide alcohol to minors, and don’t drive drunk.

Links:
[Tennessee.com]: Vols’ Cooter suspended after weekend arrest

Categories
New York Yankees

Odds and Ends (06.1.06): Randy Johnson love child fund



I am reluctantly your father

Can we start a fund for Randy Johnson’s love child? Maybe then she can afford to finally meet her father who won’t even return her phone calls. An Arizona couple won a charity auction to have dinner with Randy Johnson, his wife Lisa, and 20 of their friends. Ironically, the auction was to benefit the notMYkid organization. (You couldn’t make this stuff up.)

It’s too bad we didn’t know about this sooner. I’m sure all the sports bloggers could’ve raised more than $7,000, won the auction, and then invite Randy’s love child to dinner. That, friends, would be high comedy. (via The Hater Nation / Photo from Boston Dirt Dogs)

In other news…

[Yahoo]: Shocking! Sean Taylor gets special treatment and cops a plea

[ESPN]: Avery Johnson’s wife could be charged with assault for mixing it up with Suns fans

[Fire Dusty Baker]: Bad groundskeeping reason for Cubs losing

[Mr. Mack]: The All-Rotten Hall of Fame

[Off Wing Opinion]: Goalie scores all the way across the pitch

Categories
Washington Wizards

Gilbert Arenas’ street name is "Zero Hero"



Our Hero

Gilbert Arenas might be the coolest cat in the NBA. (Except when LeBron whispers in his ear about free throws…) On Monday, it was reported that Arenas was arrested for “resisting without violence” on Miami Beach. And upon being arrested, he said, “You can’t arrest me. I’m a basketball player. I play for the Washington Wizards.”

In today’s Washington Post column by Michael Wilbon, Gilbert defends himself.


I was told it was for resisting arrest without violence.
I still don’t understand what for. I was in a limousine, stuck in really bad traffic going to this restaurant, Ago, when I decided to step out of the car. The limo driver said, ‘The guy who just got out is being arrested.’ I looked over and saw seven police officers arresting Storey. . . .

I didn’t have the chance to say anything; an officer put cuffs on me from behind. . . . When I was taken in, I said, ‘I don’t mean to be rude, but can I talk to the officer who arrested me?’ And the officer says, ‘You were being nosy.’ And I said, ‘Are you putting that in your official police report, that I was being nosy?’ And then he keeps asking me questions:

“‘Do you have tattoos?’ I said, ‘Yes, I have three.’ And then, ‘What is your street name?’ I laughed. Of course I laughed. My street name? What? Okay, it’s Zero Hero. [Arenas wears “0” on his Wizards jersey.]

” ‘And he says, ‘Oh, everything is funny to you, huh?’

Gilbert claims he never said he couldn’t be arrested because he was a basketball player then made a reference to Anchorman and how ludicrous the whole situation was. After the whole ordeal, Arenas is selling his condo in Miami. “They can have their nice beach. They’ve convinced me I do not belong.” Somehow because this is Gilbert Arenas, we’re buying the selling your expensive real estate as social commentary move.

Links:
[Washington Post]: Arenas Bummed by the Beach

Categories
College Football

Two ex-FSU players charged with robbing teammate



Jeff Rouse

There’s so many things wrong with this story. First, look at the photo to your left. Does that look like a man who would rob someone? Not particularly. Does that look like a man who if he were to rob someone, would leave a glove with his jersey number at the scene of the crime? Well… yes. In a world of dumb athletes, Fred Rouse might take this year’s top award.

But that’s not all. The person that Rouse robbed (along with fellow ex-teammate and Cincinnati 5th round draft pick A.J. Nicholson) was another teammate, Lorenzo Booker. Rouse and Nicholson stole approximately $1,700 worth of electronic equipment from the house. Rouse confessed to the crime and is charged with burglary of a dwelling, grand theft, and possession of ecstasy. He then sold out A.J. Nicholson faster than the Pistons are selling out Flip Saunders. An arrest warrant has been issued for Nicholson.

This isn’t the first time these two student-athletes have been in trouble. Nicholson previously pleaded to a DUI offense and Rouse was kicked off the FSU team in January for “conduct detrimental to the welfare of the football team”. FSU officials declined to comment but we believe robbing your teammates is detrimental to the welfare of the football team.


Links:

[ESPN]: Bengals pick Nicholson, Rouse charged in alleged theft

Categories
Soccer

16-year-old girl banned from World Cup matches



That’s some quality Photoshop work

Yesterday, we told you about the 12-year-old Boston fan who called Terry Francona a dumbass. Well, in England, they raise the bar with their soccer hooligans. A 16-year-old girl was banned from attending any soccer matches and must report to the local police station once a week.

The ban stemmed from an incident in January where 18 other people were arrested when violence broke out after the hooligans began the obligatory soccer racist chanting.

Links:
[Life Style Extra]: 16-year old female footy fan in court
[Mirror UK]: CUP BAN FOR GIRL, 16, ON THUG CHARGE

Categories
Philadelphia Eagles

Eagles NFC Championship ring stolen a month ago available on ebay



photo from ebay

[Update: Of course, the seller has a myspace account. Also, the auction was shut down but not removed.]

The house of Dave Spadaro, the Philadelphia Eagles’ media guy/in-house journalist/PR flunkie, was burglarized a month ago and part of the stolen loot was his NFC Championship ring from the 2004 season. (We’re not certain why Dave even gets a ring but that’s another issue.) Well, like most stolen items these days, it promptly showed up on ebay.

The auction states:

HERE IS YOUR CHANCE TO OWN A ONE OF A KIND RING OWNED BY DAVE SPADARO

MY GRANDFATHER BOUGHT THIS RING A MONTH OR SO AGO FROM A VERY EXPERIENCED JEWELER IN SOUTHERN NEW JERSEY. THE RING IS MADE OF WHITE GOLD AND HE TELLS HIM ITS WORTH AT LEAST 3 THOUSAND DOLLARS JUST IN SCRAP GOLD. NOT INLUDING THE DIAMONDS!!

WITH GRADUATIONS COMING UP WHAT WOULD BE A BETTER GIFT FOR THE EAGLES FAN IN YOUR HOME. YOU MIGHT NEVER COME ACROSS ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN.

Since the theft of Spadaro’s ring was widely publicized (well, at least in the Eagles community), either this guy has cojones the size of Sam Cassell, is the stupidest criminal on ebay, or there’s a jeweler in South Jersey who’s got some ‘splaining to do.

Dave Spadaro found out about the auction via a thread on the PhiadelphiaEagles.com forums and is contacting the police. We’ll keep you updated with this ridiculous story.

Categories
Soccer

Odds and Ends for Tues May 30: Ronaldo turns down $120M

The World Cup is almost here and that means more soccer stories are coming across the wire. Today, Ronaldo, one of the most recognizable soccer players in the world, turned down MLS’ New York Red Bulls offer of $120M over 10 years. Ronaldo said he’d like to play in the MLS but later in his career.

The offer would have made him the highest paid MLS athlete by more than $11M a year. MLS is desperate to attract a high profile international soccer star to boost interest. Much like the Argonauts signing Rocket Ismail, which worked wonders for the CFL.


In other news…

[Bengals.com]: Does “cornhole” mean something entirely different in Cincinnati?

[NY Post]: Stephon Marbury wants to die a loser

[Seattle Times]: The top 20 stupidest things done by college athletes

[Inside Bay Area]: Who sabotaged Dave Flemming’s Barry Bonds 715 call?

[Yahoo]: Ukraine soccer team will get sex if they win, whether they like it or not

Categories
Cleveland Indians

Scott Sauerbeck is trying out for COPS



Quick! In the bushes!

In a scene straight out of Cops, Scott Sauerbeck was arrested this morning at 5:00 AM for wrongful entrustment for allowing the woman he was with to drive, and obstructing official business, which means he fled the car and attempted to make a run for it.

Police spotted a car being driven recklessly and attempted to pull it over. Two people then fled the car and the police found them hiding in a bush. The driver, Lily Miller, had a BAC of three times the legal limit, or at least .30.

No word on whether Sauerbeck was wearing a wife-beater and barefoot at the time.

Links:
[Cleveland.com]: