Washington Wizards

Gilbert Arenas digs Manila. Milwaukee, not so much

Agent Zero recently went on a 12-day excursion around the world, making stops in Shanghai, Beijing, Hong Kong, Manila, Berlin, Amsterdam and Barcelona. From all his blogging, it certainly appears that he had a good time. Luckily, Milwaukee wasn’t one of his destinations because Arenas loathes Milwaukee.

Richard Jefferson going to Milwaukee …. HAHAHA! Oh man, now that is funny. When I heard that, I started laughing. Oh man, did I start laughing. You know why? Because every player hates Milwaukee. Nobody wants to live in Milwaukee. I’m sorry, Milwaukee, to come down hard on you, but no one in the NBA wants to play in Milwaukee. From him going from New Jersey, actually from New York (because he lives in New York), from New York to Milwaukee is like going … let’s just say it’s not going to sit well with you. That was a funny one when I heard that one. I know Yi is happy though.

Nobody wants to live in Milwaukee? Oh, really. What about the Algonquians and the cast of Happy Days, huh? They certainly appear to enjoy it.


[Agent Zero: The Blog File]: Everybody Should Visit Manila

Washington Wizards

Around the Rim: DeShawn Stevenson stings the Hornets in their hive

1. One and done
The curse of being No. 1 came to life again on Monday. After sitting atop the Western Conference at the All-Star break, the Hornets are riding a three-game losing streak, sliding all the way to fifth in the playoff chase. The latest team to get their shots in on the Bugs was the Wizards. The score was tied at 92-92 when the buzzer sounded and DeShawn Stevenson’s 3-point fadeaway J ripped the twine, giving Washington a 95-92 victory in Nawlins. The trey gave Stevenson 33 on the night to offset a 22-point, 8-assists performance from Chris Paul. New Orleans led nearly the whole game until a Stevenson free throw with less than 15 seconds remaining put the Wiz up 92-91 and the rest is history. Stevenson was responsible for seven of Washington’s final nine points in the comeback.

2. Gimme five!

It certainly wasn’t pretty for the Spurs early on as they scored just five points in the first quarter against the Hawks, but the champs rallied back from their franchise-low to win by 15 points, 89-74. San Antonio shot a pathetic 1-for-17 from the field in the opening period, but finished with a respectable 42 percent shooting effort. Tim Duncan put up 23 points, 10 rebounds and three blocks while Tony Parker had 15 and nine assists. Kurt Thomas grabbed nine rebounds in his Spurs debut. The Hawks didn’t capitalize on the Spurs early woes, scoring just 16 points in the first before going flat once again after halftime when they were outscored by 16 points, 27-11 in the third.

3. Detroit is b-b-b-ballin!
The Pistons continue to roll on their west coast road trip and their latest win came at the expensive of one of the league’s top home teams. All five Detroit starters finished with double-digit points, led by the trio of Tayshaun Prince, Richard Hamilton and Chauncey Billups scoring 20 apiece, as they slipped past the Nuggets 98-93 in Denver. It was just the seventh home loss for Denver who played without head coach George Karl who was ill. However, the lack of normal leadership didn’t seem to affect Allen Iverson (28 pts) or Carmelo Anthony (23 pts, 11 reb). The Nuggets had a chance to tie the game with 6.5 seconds left, but J.R. Smith could only make one of three free throws following a foul beyond the arc by Billups.

Monday’s Player of the Day: Dirk Nowitzki vs. Chicago 38 min, 29 pts (FG: 10-19, 3FG: 3-3, FT: 6-6), 10 reb, 4 ast, 1 stl, 1 blk

Tuesday’s Game to Watch: Portland (29-27) @ Los Angeles Lakers (39-17)
Sure, Brandon Roy will most likely miss the game with a bum ankle, but this is still a must-see game. After all, we’re talking about a pissed off Kobe Bryant leading a Lakers squad riding an eight-game winning streak while holding the top record in the West. Bryant got tossed from a blow-out in Seattle and there is no doubt he’ll be taking his frustrations out on the Blazers – with or without Roy. Don’t forget, Kobe dropped 65 points on the Blaze last season.

Buzzer Beater: Jason Kidd returned to Dallas on Monday night, playing in front of his new/old home crowd for the first time since 1996. It was like he never left…except the Mavericks won. Kidd almost put together a patented triple-double in his debut, finishing with 11 points, nine rebounds and eight assists in a 102-94 victory over the Bulls. So, J-Kidd, how’d it feel to be back?

I was happy to be back home. This is where it all started for me,” Kidd said. “I didn’t get an opportunity with that franchise [the Mavericks of the mid-1990s] like this one. This is different and I’m going to take advantage of that.

Washington Wizards

Gilbert Arenas has absolutely no concept of T.M.I.

We’ve always known that Gilbert Arenas was a strange cat. A really strange cat. The dude has absolutely no filter and never feels an ounce of shame for the words that come out of his mouth. In a way, it’s admirable and shows a level high level of self confidence and comfort with himself. On the other hand, when someone will say anything about anything to anyone it can be more than anyone really wants to hear. And we’re not just referring to boring plans for his birthday plans.

When I was new in the NBA the team veterans convinced me to shave, you know, down there, because they said the hair stinks. I used my girlfriend’s razor, which was rusty and gave me keloids. The doctor prescribed medicine to dab on, but I just poured it all over. Three days later I woke up screaming. The skin was burnt off my scrotum, down to my crack, everything — just raw flesh. I still had to run and play, so I used a numbing spray for a month until it healed. Now I use clippers.

Woke up screaming three days later, huh? Why do we get the feeling your honesty is going to have the same effect on us?


[The Big Lead]: Gilbert Arenas Recants Tales of Private Skin-Loss
[]: Gilbert’s New Favorite Drink

Washington Wizards

Around the Rim: All that glitters is not gold

1. Double trouble
We’ve heard of unlucky No. 13, but unlucky No. 30 is something new to us. The Celtics (30-6), on the other hand, are learning all about the doomed three-zero. At 29-3, Boston was rolling right along, but then it took them a pair of contests before reaching their 30th victory and now Washington’s will gives the Cs their third loss in four games. After slapping down the Celtics on Saturday, the Wiz traveled to Boston for the back side of the home-and-home and escaped with an 88-83 win. Caron Butler led the way for Washington with 21 points, followed up by Antawn Jamison’s 20 and 10 rebounds. Like usual, the big three showed up for Boston (57 points), but that was about it as Beantown felt their second consecutive defeat for the first time this year.

2. Charlotte surprise

Carmelo Anthony (35 pts) and Allen Iverson (23 pts) combined for over 50 and Marcus Camby went bonkers with 20 points and 23 rebounds, but it still wasn’t enough to beat the Bobcats in Charlotte. Gerald Wallace scored 40 for the Cats who improved to 14-23 with the 119-116 victory. The road doesn’t get any easier for Charlotte who has contests against Orlando, New Orleans, San Antonio and Dallas on the horizon. The loss doesn’t spell disaster for Denver, but coupled with Portland’s beatdown of New Jersey, the Nuggets fell a half game behind the Blazers in the division standings.

3. Kobe is super against the Sonics
The Lakers got some bad news on Monday when they found out Andrew Bynum would be out of action for the next eight weeks with a left kneecap injury. Later on in the day, Kobe Bryant grieved the only way he knows how: by jacking up a ridiculous amount of shots. Bryant went 21-of-44 from the field for 48 points in the Lakers 123-121 overtime victory in Seattle. In addition to the offensive outburst from Bryant, L.A. cleaned the glass better than a homeless guy on the corner as Lamar Odom (14 reb), Luke Walton (10 reb) and Kwame Brown (10 reb) all finished with double-digit boards in Bynum’s absence. The Sonics were able to hang around thanks to seven double-figure scorers, led by Nick Collision’s 24 points to go with 18 rebounds. Kevin Durant couldn’t throw the ball into the ocean, hitting just six of his 26 shot attempts.

Monday’s Player of the Day: Deron Williams vs. Milwaukee 37 min, 33 pts (FG: 8-14, 3FG: 1-3, FT: 16-20), 5 reb, 10 ast, 4 stl

Tuesday’s Game to Watch: Toronto (20-17) @ Detroit (28-10)
The Raptors are beginning to prove they have all the pieces to become a great team in the NBA. They’re young, hungry, talented and they are building the core chemistry that takes teams deep into the playoffs. Nobody is currently considering them as a possible Eastern Conference representative in this year’s Finals, but they could defiantly take a step in the right direction with a road win against the Pistons. Problem is the Bad Boys are ready to unleash their fury on someone after dropping three of their previous five games, including a humiliating blowout loss to the Knicks on Sunday when they could only muster a measly 65 points.

Buzzer Beater: Even with four championship rings, two regular season MVPs and a trio of Finals MVP awards in your back pocket, it can be tough to get a little respect.

During a tight fourth quarter against the Philadelphia 76ers, Tim Duncan twice told San Antonio Spurs teammate Manu Ginobili to pass the ball.

One couldn’t blame Duncan for his advice as Ginobili had gone 0-of-6 from the field through the first three quarters of the game.

Ginobili didn’t listen to the Spurs’ star center.

The Spurs’ super sub hit four 3-pointers in the period, his only field goals of the entire game, to lead the Spurs to an 89-82 victory over the 76ers Monday night.

“I think I was talking in the middle of his shots … two of his shots, telling him to swing the ball,” Duncan said. “And he’s firing away anyway, and they go down for him. So he felt it. And he gets one to go down, he gets two to go down. All of a sudden he’s on a hot streak and you want him taking those shots.”

Ginobili scored 14 of his 20 points in the fourth quarter, highlighted by the two pairs of consecutive 3s.

“I heard him,” Ginobili said of Duncan’s counsel. “But I told him that I was feeling good and I was going to take them.”

“He never listens to me,” Duncan joked.

Washington Wizards

Fall into the rabbit hole that is Gilbert Arena’s mind

There’s really nobody kookier in the NBA than Gilbert Arenas. So, anytime we come across something involving Agent 0, we know that it should be entertaining. Needless to say, we weren’t disappointed when we came across an article on entitled 10 Things Straight From Agent Zero. So, without further ado we pass along to you ten random thoughts from the mind of the man they call the Hibachi.

1. The rehab for my knee injury is going excellent. I’m way, way, way ahead of schedule. I bike, like, 18 miles a day. I’ve started making cuts on the court, slowly. I like to say I’m “keeping a San Antonio pace.” Pretty soon I’ll be able to go full throttle.

2. I’m gonna work out with DC United, the soccer team, this summer. I’m gonna do a lot of stuff with them, conditioning and like on-the-field soccer. I just need to try different things.

3. I shot the cover of NBA Live ’08 with Kevin Durant while he was doing the cover of the NCAA game. Kevin Durant, aka “K-Smooth.” I’m like a big brother, father-type to him. He’s part of the frat now. I’ll give K-Smooth the same type of advice that I give to all young guys: Learn to manage yourself. Learn about business. Get yourself a nickname the kids will like. Stuff like that.

4. Video game curses are a football thing. The year Dwyane Wade was on the cover (of NBA Live), he won a championship. The year Tracy McGrady was on the cover, he played in the the most games he’s ever played in. Same with Vince.

5. The rudest thing someone ever said to me was Gary Payton, my first year in the NBA. He scored 16 straight on me in the first few minutes, so I’m nervous. I’m scared. He says, “You’re lucky I’m not an A.I. type of player. I would score 50 on you in the first half.” To this day, I have to try and score 35 in the first quarter every time against Gary Payton.

6. One time in Dallas, someone said, “We’re gonna treat you like some hoes. We’re gonna get a little a@@ and get on out of here.” I say that now.

7. People say to me all the time, “You guys could have beaten Cleveland if you were able to play.” At the end of the day that doesn’t really mean anything, though. If I was healthy, we probably wouldn’t have even played Cleveland in the first round, you know?

8. I’m the face of my team, but I’m not involved in player personnel decisions at all. I’m really not. I’m just a player. It makes my job and my life easier that I’m not mixed up in that stuff. I’m not going to be one of those “Trade this guy” or “Package these guys for picks” type of guys. That’s how your teammates start to hate you.

9. Right now I’m working on a book. I’ve only been in the League for six years, so there’s no point in doing a biography yet. It will be a funny Gilbertology book.

10. I want to do some type of advertising/business show. That will be funny because I don’t know anything about business. I’ll be like Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. Or I’ll be saying things like Jessica Simpson, telling people I can’t eat buffalo wings because I don’t eat buffalo.

Don’t worry Gilbo, if you keep spitting out lines like you did in No. 6 then we’re pretty sure that MTV will have a prime spot for you right between Celebrity Rap Superstar and reruns of America’s Next Top Model.


[]: 10 Sense with Gilbert Arenas

Washington Wizards

DeShawn Stevenson claims to have slept through shootout at his crib

As if David Stern didn’t already have enough on his plate with the contamination of his league by a crooked ref, the commish now has a shooting at DeShawn Stevenson’s Orlando home to deal with.

The Washington Wizards’ guard was supposedly asleep in his gated community home early Monday morning after an evening of clubbin’ ended with Stevenson and some of his boys bringing home some sluts women from the club. According to witnesses, the group was followed into the gated suburban community by a Cadillac Escalade and the driver of the Caddy got into an argument with one of the hos patrons from the club before opening fire. During the rain of gunfire, bullets tore up Stevenson’s Lexus SUV, his BMW and his crib, but Stevenson’s crew claims that they simply ran into the house and never returned fire. Apparently, the group of, uh, groupies just vanished into the night in their hooker heels and exposing outfits.

But, like always, something isn’t adding up in this high profile crime because Stevenson’s entourage is saying they never fired any weapons at the vehicle, but investigators found blood on one of the cars and bullet casings in the driveway. And about 30 minutes after the shootout, a man named Curtis Ruff drove up to a hospital in an Escalade with gunshot wounds to his leg. Ruff refused to cooperate, but the authorities feel pretty confident that he’s the dude they’re looking for. Well, duh!

However, either this guy decided to blast himself in the leg or he’s a worse shot than Harry from Dumb and Dumber OR DeShawn’s boys are lying about the return fire. We’re guessing it’s the latter. And what makes this even more suspicious is that nobody involved in the incident wanted to press charges. Now, we know that rich athletes are a completely different breed of people than us, but we can guarantee that if someone starts shooting up our home then we’re going after his ass. We’re guessing that like Michael Vick and all the other liars in the world of sports, Stevenson will eventually come out with a completely different story regarding the incident. Because, as of now, this story makes Jayson Williams’ tale of playfully twirling a shotgun before the shooting death of his limo driver seem somewhat plausible.


[]: Authorities investigate shooting at NBA star DeShawn Stevenson’s home
[]: Man Shot at Wizard’s Home

Washington Wizards

Odds and Ends: Hey, is that Caron Butler at your birthday party?

From DC Sports Bog comes a story of how Caron Butler had nothing better to do so he showed up at some kid’s suprise birthday party.

[Caron] said everyone in the community has been “real courteous and very kind” to him, and that local fans have supported him since he’s been here, and that he just thought he should reciprocate.

“I thought it was a good thing to do, to make someone’s dream come true. It was just as rewarding for me as it was for him.

In other news…

[]: Villanova star Howard Proter dies at 58

[Star Bulletin]: Listen, if your last name is Kim, please don’t name your daughter Kim. Kim Kim is a stupid name.

[Star Telegram]: Keyshawn says Tony Romo is the most overhyped player in the NFL

[Sportsline]: Utah fans show some real class by throwing stuff on the court

[Dallas News]: Dirk for Kobe?

[Sac Bee]: Can the Raiders and Niners share new stadium?

[10,000 Takes]: Contextual advertising isn’t all its cracked up to be

[Our Book of Scrap]: Who the hell would want to buy a used cigarette from Jack Lambert?

Washington Wizards

Gilbert Arenas is all giddy over game cover

The All-NBA teams were announced today and after having an outstanding year, the Wizards’ Gilbert Arenas was named to the second team. That’s not too shabby for a guy who was selected 31st overall in the 2001 draft. We figured that nothing could be a bigger thrill for the Hibachi than to make the team, but then we came across this clip of Arenas after he was named to be the cover boy for NBA Live 08.

Talk about being as happy as a little girl! Was that Gilbert Arenas or one of those whacked out contestants on Deal or No Deal?

Washington Wizards

Gilbert Arenas’ new commercial

Adidas is perpetually trying to catch up with Nike, not just in sales but in their ad campaigns.  While Nike has always set the bar with great commercials, Adidas usually gives us stuff that doesn’t make much sense and isn’t very good.  Impossible is nothing?  Uhhhh…whatever.  

Anyway, Adidas is set to launch a whole new ad campaign featuring athletes and drawing… we guess to spotlight how creative athletes are or something.  Our favorite NBA nutjob Gilbert Arenas has a commercial in the campaign and while it’s designed to show how he overcame adversity to become “the rock star of the NBA“, it mostly just highlights that Gilbert can’t paint for shit.

[Ad Freak]: Art is therapy for athletes in Adidas ads

Washington Wizards

Someone tell Gilbert Arenas that you can turn voicemail off

Gilbert Arenas has always been somewhat of an odd duck but a feature in the latest issue of Esquire might just confirm that he is actually batshit crazy.

When I get a new cell phone, first thing I do is turn it off and call from my house phone and leave stupid little messages to myself. Like: “It’s me.” “It’s me.” “This is Gilbert.” “It’s me.” “It’s Gilbert.” I just fill it up, so no one can leave messages. If you don’t, you leave for an hour and thirteen people have called. So there are thirteen new messages you have to listen to and it’s like, Oh, man. I don’t feel like hearing people’s stories. Most people love leaving messages that they don’t want to tell you in person. So I cut that off.

Here are some other notable stories about Gilbert:

  • He has an idea for a commercial where a kid in a wheelchair clotheslines a girl who catches his shoes
  • He bought a colon cleaner off an informercial
  • Lebron said to him prior to the free throws in last year’s playoffs, “If you miss this shot, you know who’s gonna hit the game winner.”
  • He can beat people by 200 points in NBA 2K6
  • He holds a grudge: he has a list of everyone drafted before him in 2001 and crosses people out when they’re no longer in the league

[Esquire]: The Pathology of Gilbert Arenas