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All Other Sports

101-year-old plans on running in marathon despite having one foot in the grave


Some might say the story of 101-year-old Buster Martin is an inspiration. We say it makes us wanna puke. It’s not because he’s super old, it’s because he’s super old and he could smoke us in a race. However, we will not be competing against him in the London Marathon in mid-April. We choose not to run.

The 101-year-old London resident has announced plans to compete in his city’s marathon April 13, which will make him the oldest person to compete in a marathon.

“I’ve said I’ll attempt it,” Martin told Reuters. “I haven’t said I’ll complete it.”

Martin did run in, and finish, a half-marathon in Essex last Sunday, with his first words at the finish reported to be, “Where’s my beer?”

He plans to celebrate the London Marathon in similar fashion.

“I’ll do what I always do and have a pint and a [cigarette],” Martin told Reuters. “People ask what is my secret, but I haven’t got one. They say [cigarettes] and booze are bad for you, but I’m still here, aren’t I?

Hey, it seems to work for Amy Winehouse and you can’t argue with the results. Martin has produced 17 kids in his century-plus on the planet and he just finished a 13-mile half marathon in a bit over five hours! According to Martin, he could have finished the race with a better time if he didn’t stop for a beer and a smoke!

Links:

[LATimes.com]: At age 101, British runner can get by on fumes
[ABC News]: He’s 101 and Training for Marathon

Categories
Washington Capitals

He shoots! He scores! He’s an idiot!

We’ve seen this happen plenty of times at little kids soccer games, but it doesn’t occur all too often on sport’s professional levels. Of course, we’re talking about getting that all-too-perfect set up and knocking down a huge goal for the team…the other team!

But that’s exactly what happened on Sunday when Caps center Nicklas Backstrom scored a goal on his own net with 28 seconds left in regulation and the score tied 2-2 against Pittsburgh. As you would expect, Washington went on to lose 4-2 as Sydney Crosby got credit for Backstrom’s blunder.

Categories
College Basketball

Get a vasectomy in order to watch March Madness? The ball’s in your court


If you ask us, there is no good time to have vasectomy. However, the Oregon Urology Institute might be on to something with its latest ad campaign. After all, the only thing worse than getting snipped is getting snipped and having to flip back-and-forth between reruns of Family Matters and Dear John all day long.

When March Madness approaches you need an excuse . . . to stay at home in front of the big screen,” says the ad on Eugene’s sports radio AM 1320, aka The Score. “Get your vasectomy at Oregon Urology Institute the day before the tournament starts.

And if you’re not sold on the idea yet, just get a `load’ of the other perks that come along with getting neutered.

To help sell the idea, The Score promised to send each fixed fan a “recovery kit” that includes sports magazines, free pizza delivery and a bag of frozen peas.

“The frozen peas are malleable enough that you can get them right in there and get the swelling down,” [institute administrator Terry] FitzPatrick said.

Links:

[OregonLive.com]: Springfield urologists offer new excuse to view March Madness

Categories
NFL General

NFL Crunch Time – it’s on every kid’s wish list

Video games are hot right now. In fact, the entire gaming world has never been more popular than it is right now. And if you ask us, we’ve discovered the next big game that is going to sweep the nation, nay, the world. Move over Guitar Hero, step aside Grand Theft Auto; it’s time for NFL Crunch Time to set some sells records!

Sorry, Madden, but until you can offer up the “Racists” or the “Tennis Crotch” then you better get used to playing second fiddle.

Links:

[CollegeHumor.com]: Picnicface: NFL Crunch Time

Categories
Golf

Tripp Isenhour gives new meaning to the term "hawkeye"


When it comes to golf, we’ve heard of birdies and eagles, but we never hear about hawks when we’re out on the greens. Apparently there is a good reason for that; Tripp Isenhour kills them when they are too loud.

IIsenhour, who plays on the developmental Nationwide Tour, was charged Wednesday with cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird, misdemeanors that carry a maximum penalty of 14 months in jail and $1,500 in fines.

Isenhour quickly apologized Thursday.

“As soon as this happened, I was mortified and extremely upset and continue to be upset,” Isenhour said in a statement issued through his management company, SFX Golf. “I want to let everyone know there was neither any malice nor deliberate intent whatsoever to hit or harm the hawk. I was trying to simply scare it into flying away.”

The 39-year-old player, whose real name is John Henry Isenhour III, became angry while filming “Shoot Like A Pro” on Dec. 12 at the Grand Cypress Golf Club when a squawking red-shouldered hawk roughly 300 yards away forced another take.

He drove closer to the bird in his golf cart and starting hitting balls at it. The bird didn’t move and Isenhour gave up and drove away.

Isenhour started again when the hawk moved within about 75 yards, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine indicated in a report.

Isenhour allegedly said, “I’ll get him now,” and aimed for the hawk.

“About the sixth ball came very near the bird’s head, and (Isenhour) was very excited that it was so close,” Baine wrote.

A few shots later, witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils.

And you know what is coming next, right? PETA is gonna want a piece of his ass for lunch. But before everyone gets all worked up, let’s just make it perfectly clear that Isenhour is, in fact, an animal lover and he has three cats at his house that he adopted from a local animal shelter. So, take that PETA.

Links:

[Golf.com]: Golfer apologizes for shot that killed protected hawk

Categories
College Football

12-year-old kid gets denied dream job as W.V. football coach


When Rich Rodriguez bolted from West Virginia in order to get his grubby little paws on his dream job at Michigan there was an obvious void left to be filled by the Mountaineers. It didn’t take long before coaches from around the country started sending in applications in an attempt to get their grubby little paws on the likes of Pat White. Well, they weren’t all coaches.

Joshua Irizarry is a 12-year-old who loves him some West Virginia football, so when he saw there was an opening; he slapped together a resume and fired it off to WV President Michael Garrison. Last month, Irizarry finally got a response saying: sorry, but the position has been filled by an “equally qualified candidate.”

Garrison said in an e-mail that Irizarry’s letter was one of the best he received, including details of his football experience, love of the game and an offer to coach under conditions determined by the university.

The letter also uses humor that university employees found entertaining: “I understand this would be a move more suited for a team like Temple, but I am just asking for your consideration.

Nice burn on Temple, kid. You know who probably would have snatched him up quicker than a hiccup is the Atlanta Falcons. After being stuck with backstabbing Bobby Petrino, the players would have loved the upgrade.

Links:

[MyRecordJournal.com]: Boy, 12, gets response to W. Va. Coaching inquiry

Categories
Green Bay Packers

Superfan loses control, names twins Brett and Favre


The whole world is trying to come to grips with the life-altering news that Brett Favre has decided to hang up his cleats for good. And if you thought John Madden and Peter King were in a funk, just imagine how Wisconsin natives are holding up. But have no fear Cheeseheads because the legend of Brett Favre lives on in Florida.

The Green Bay Press-Gazette reports that David and Emily Kinsaul of Palatka, Fla., named their newborn twin boys Brett and Favre.

“I was hoping we’d have at least one year of him still playing,” David said. The twins were born Feb. 22.

Brett and Favre?!? We’ll let Brett slide by, but what kid is going to want to grow up with the name Favre? We understand that the culture of football is nuts in Packer-land, but that is really no excuse. After all, basketball is the game of choice in Indiana, but you don’t see any Hoosiers naming their children Bob and Knight or Isiah and Thomas or Larry and Bird. Although, now that we think about it, Knight Isiah Bird has a nice ring to it for an only child.

Links:

[GreenBayPressGazette.com]: No. 4’s legacy just beginning for twin baby boys
[StarTribune.com]: Newborn twins names Brett and Favre

Categories
Cleveland Cavaliers

Around the Rim: LeBron lights up the Garden


1. Battling it out
Kobe Bryant and LeBron James are running neck-and-neck down the final stretch as they both try to grab their first regular season MVP trophy. Currently, James has a slight advantage, but that is only because he was the last one to play. The King almost racked up a wicked triple-double against the Knicks on Wednesday by scoring 50 points, dishing out 10 assists and grabbing eight rebounds in a 119-105 victory in the Garden. It was James’ second 50-point outburst this season as he shot a blistering 16-of-30 from the field, including 7-of-13 from behind the 3-point arc. In fact, LBJ was so hot that the New York natives were chanting “MVP! MVP!” for him during the final moments. And why not? After all, James became just the third player ever to get 50 points and 10 assists in the historic building. The other two: Stephon Marbury and Michael Jordan. While Bryant takes a couple of days off before taking on the Clippers on Friday, James will be busy putting in more groundwork for his award ceremony by playing the Bulls tonight.

2. Boston mails in its R.S.V.P.

The Celtics are in. It seems like an eternity has passed since the last time Boston was involved in postseason play, but on Wednesday they became the first team to secure a spot in the playoffs by defeating the Pistons 90-78 in Beantown. Kevin Garnett set a season-high by scoring 31 points, helping to mask the horrible shooting performance by teammate Ray Allen who was just 1-of-9 from the floor for three points. Rasheed Wallace and Chauncey Billups finished with 23 points apiece, but Detroit could only must 11 points in the fourth quarter which proved to be its downfall. While the win put Boston into the second season, perhaps more importantly it gave them a 2-1 advantage in the series, meaning should the two reunite in the playoffs, the home-court advantage goes to the Celtics.

3. Shaq’s Suns slip and slide down the standings
The Shaquille O’Neal experiment continues to go sour in Phoenix. Down the stretch, the move could prove invaluable, but, as of now, the Suns are just 3-5 with O’Neal in the lineup and they are losing ground quickly in the Western Conference race. Last night, Denver ran over the normally fast-paced Suns 126-113 behind Allen Iverson’s 31 points and Carmelo Anthony’s 30-point, 13-rebound performance. As a result, Phoenix woke up this morning sitting in sixth place in the standings. Sure, with just a couple of wins, they could hop right back up to the top of the list, but with a couple more losses, they could easily slide to eighth place or possibly find themselves in a dog fight if they drop out of the top eight altogether. It would seem that eventually the Suns will mesh all of their talent into a cohesive unit, but it might not be anytime soon as they have games against Utah and San Antonio looming on the upcoming schedule.

Wednesday’s Player of the Day: LeBron James @ New York 44 min, 50 pts (FG: 16-30, 3FG: 7-13, FT: 11-16), 8 reb, 10 ast, 4 stl

Thursday’s Game to Watch: Houston (40-20) @ Dallas (39-22)
The Rockets are rolling right along, not even missing a beat without their starting center. Thanks to Tracy McGrady and the rest of the supporting cast, Houston currently has a franchise-record 16-game winning streak under its belt with four of the victories coming after Yao Ming’s season-ending injury. In fact, their current tear is tied for the 12th longest streak in NBA history. The odds of reaching 17 straight improved dramatically with the news that the Mavericks MVP Dirk Nowitzki is suspended for the contest following his WWEesque clothesline on Utah’s Andrei Kirilenko. Still, Dallas is 25-3 at home and they are currently fighting for their playoff lives, sitting just 2 ½ games ahead of ninth place Denver. A streak snapping victory without their main man could be exactly what the Mavs need to get rolling toward the postseason.

Buzzer Beater: Pat Riley is pissed off…again.

After watching the Heat lose for the 29th time in 32 games, Riley said he should personally write refund checks to season-ticket holders, plus — once again — questioned Miami’s effort, saying it was “so unprofessional, it’s ridiculous.”

He’s seen enough. Problem is, there’s 24 games left.

“I’ve got to ferret out the guys who really don’t care,” Riley said. “I’ve got to ferret them out of here and just put them on the bench and bring in a bunch of young guys. … The season’s over for them. That’s how they’re playing, some of them, anyhow.

Categories
High School Sports

Getting ready for March Madness with old school H.S. football lunacy

We know that March is typically a month dedicated to the madness that is tournament-style college basketball. So, we figured there is no better way to get you ready for the thrilling comebacks and last-second victories that will inevitably come as the month draws on than by hitting you upside the noggin with one of the greatest rallies in the history of sports. Sure, it’s close to 15 years old and its high school football, but it is guaranteed to get the juices flowing for a month when anything that can’t happen usually does.

Here’s the setup, Plano East (TX) is trailing John Tyler (TX) by 24 points with just three minutes to go. Enjoy.

Links:

[CollegeHumor.com]: Amazing Comeback

Categories
Denver Nuggets

Semi-Pro makes everyone nostalgic for the ABA


With the release of Will Ferrell’s new comedy Semi-Pro, everyone seems to be getting into the old ABA spirit. The short shorts, the red, white and blue ball, and the afros: it was a tremendous period in the history of modern basketball. There was passion like never before and a flair for showmanship that can probably never be equaled again. Oh, and according to the guys who lived it, it was also an extremely poor period for the players as well.

We weren’t sure the paychecks were going to make it every two weeks,” said [George] Karl. “It was always interesting on payday how many guys didn’t stay after practice. Everybody was in their car and running to the bank making sure their check made it through.”

[Doug] Moe said he never had any problems with his paychecks, but he knew other teams were having financial problems, especially that final year (1976).

“There was one part of the year where I think Virginia had run out of money and the Squires were about to fold,” Moe said. “They came out here and we must have played them 10 times. They just stayed out here.

Of course, there were some fun memories too.

Karl also recalled some bad behavior on the court. “I think probably my most memorable moment was when I took five charges on George McGinness in one game and the last time he tried to step on my head … and he told me he was going to do it.”

“There was a lot of trash talking going on then,” Karl said. “I remember my last year in the ABA. There was a fight and I was the guy who started the fight. I didn’t get thrown out of the game. I got fined $1,500, which I never paid because the ABA would fold and they would have to take it out of my next check, which they never did.

Ah, where have all the good times gone?

Links:

[CBS4Denver.com]: Movie Stirs Happy Memories For Denver’s ABA `Pros’