Categories
Baltimore Orioles

Rick Dempsey strikes out in his first at-bat of the season

Rick Dempsey knows how to be a professional ball player and he also knows the ins and outs of being a studio host on Mid-Atlantic Sports Network, but he still has a lot to learn about being a broadcaster inside the booth. Seems like Rick is having a bit of trouble with the whole improv and spur of the moment conversation that is essential to a live game.

In his first game of the season as a commentator on Saturday, Dempsey made a complete jackass out of himself when Laura Giuliani, the wife of O’s left fielder Jay Gibbons, was in the booth to promote an upcoming fundraiser intended to raise awareness about domestic violence. So, what’s one of the first things to come out of Dempsey’s mouth but, of course, a completely retarded joke about Giuliani strangling her husband. Everything is going pretty smoothly until about the 2:45 mark of the video:

Dempsey came out and apologized for his comment but there’s no rewind button in life, so, unfortunately, people are going to remember his little slip of the tongue mind. Things sure are a lot easier in the safe confines of the studio where all the words just magically appear on the screen in front of you, aren’t they Rick?

Links:

[BaltimoreSun.com]: Dempsey’s remarks no laughing matter

Categories
All Other Sports

This just in…badminton sucks harder than you thought

If you like the big mouthed portions and greasy trash talk that gets served on the side of every professional sport in the United States, then badminton is probably not going to be your cup of tea. There are no Chad Johnsons, Floyd Mayweathers or Gary Paytons floating around the pro badminton circuits. These guys pride themselves on their polite etiquette and gentle(wo)manly gestures.

I’m a huge hockey fan,” Santa Teresa badminton coach Mike Do said, “and if there’s a penalty, I’ll still boo. But in badminton, we don’t boo. We only cheer for good shots. Nobody yells `Miss!’ We teach them to be respectful of the game and their opponents.

Where’s the fun in that? Sportsmanship, we don’t need no stinking sportsmanship. In badminton, players are expected to honestly call their own faults and line decisions. Can you imagine a bunch of NBAers or NFLers calling their own fouls? Hell, you can’t even get a couple kids playing a pick-up game on the street to call their own fouls honestly.

They also gotta go shake hands with their opponent after the game which is a pretty customary practice for most sports but what we are really upset about is that players aren’t allowed to give the birdie a nice, hardcore, overhead smash when it gets popped up at the net. And some actually wonder why it gets labeled as a “sissy” sport. Badminton isn’t anything like the commercials make it out to be!

Links:

[MercuryNews.com]: No booing in badminton

Categories
All Other Sports

Sweet! Amanda Beard will be in Playboy

We love Amanda Beard around here so the news/rumor that she has agreed to pose in Playboy was met with a very excited “hot damn!” According to timedfinals, FHM’s world’s sexiest athlete will appear in Playboy in the next five weeks. We have absolutely nothing to add to this story except “it’s about time!”

And if you think this entry was simply an excuse to post this picture of Amanda Beard looking extra sexy, then you would be correct.

Links:
[timedfinals]: Amanda Beard to Appear in Playboy
[With leather]: AMANDA BEARD IS GETTIN NAKED

Categories
MLB General

Rickey Henderson getting senile in his old age


What’s the first thing you thought when you heard that Roger Clemens signed with the Yankees? If your answer was “Man, that just means Rickey Henderson is due for a comeback!”, then your name must be Rickey Henderson. Rickey Henderson thinks that Rickey is ready to kick some ass on the field again.


Seeing Roger come back, all the seed that it plants is ask me to come back one time. I’m going to look at it at the end of the year. I might come out with some crazy stuff, a press conference telling every club, ‘Put me on the field with your best player and see if I come out of it.’ If I can’t do it, I’ll call it quits at the end,

Is Rickey talking about a steel cage match? A dance off with the mascot from Tampa Bay? That would be something worth watching. Rickey is the best base stealer ever but there’s a reason he’s been out of the majors since 2003.

Links:
[NY Daily News]: Rickey: Clemens? Sign me!

Categories
All Other Sports

The NXBL is here but don’t worry, it’ll be gone soon

A while back we told you about the National Xtreme Baseball League and now we’ve finally got the video proof that we weren’t just making stuff up after “Dollar Beer Night” at Mooseknuckles. So, here’s a little recap of the history and rules of the game with some sweet commentary to go along with the eternally classic Kiss hit Rock & Roll All Night in the background.

Does this guy know that he is talking about “extreme baseball?” Because by the tone of his voice it sounds like he’s reading the phone book or perhaps doing his best Ben Stein impersonation. C’mon man, give us something to get excited about; the game certainly isn’t going to do that by itself. Geez, we’ve heard more passion during an episode of Great American Gardens, um, not that we watch that or anything. But our favorite part is when this bore spouts out his lines in a monotone fashion at the 1:28 mark:

It would take a tremendous amount of focus on the player, the umpires and the fans part to take in the game of extreme baseball. Wow, this is extreme.

Links:

[Deuce of Davenport]: National Xtreme Baseball…ye Gods…

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: A pair of easy wins for the home teams



Suddenly Nelly’s Band-Aid is looking a lot
cooler.

1. Happy 56th birthday Coach D’Antoni, we’re got you a win!
The Suns did a much better job of getting into the paint against the Spurs in Game 2 and as a result Phoenix evened the series at a game a piece with a 101-81 victory. Steve Nash hooked up with Amare Stoudemire a whole bunch of times during the game but it was their second quarter contributions that helped Phoenix put together a 30-17 effort that opened up a solid halftime lead. The Spurs had won five consecutive playoff games in the Suns’ gym but nobody can put the blame on Tim Duncan who had a stellar game for SA. However, their will be lots of fingers pointing at the other Spurs’ stars. Tony Parker was just 5-of-14 from the field and Manu Ginobili went 3-for-9 for just six points. But the Suns still have to win a game in San Antonio in order to advance and that’s just where this series is heading next, Saturday to be exact. However, if Stoudemire gets another 27 points while Nash is dishing out 16 assists and scoring 20 then Phoenix could very easily leave from deep in the heart of Texas with 3-1 strangle hold on the series.

2. The Cavs and the have nots

LeBron James had a head cold before Game 1 and he managed to hit the game winner. In Game 2 he was feeling even better and it showed as the Cavaliers took a 2-0 lead in the series with a 102-92 victory. King James put up 25 points in the second half to finish with 36 and 12 assists as he is now poised in prime position to take his team to the Eastern Conference finals for the first time in a long time. For the second game in a row, Cleveland has obliterated New Jersey on the glass as the Nets got outrebounded by 17 (49-32) but James had virtually nothing to do with that stat as he only pulled down ONE board. What’s worse is that Jersey could only muster up three offensive rebounds compared to the 19 that Cleveland pulled down. Wait; you don’t thing those extra 16 offensive possessions might have had something to do with the Cavs 10 point win, do ya? Guess Lawrence Frank never got to the chapter about boxing out in the NBA 101 textbook.

3. The Captain and the King
In more Lebron James news…with his 36 point outing last night, LBJ scored at least 20 points in each of his 19th consecutive playoff games. That puts the King just eight games behind Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (27) for the record for 20+ point games to start a playoff career. It looks like the Cavs will advance past the Nets which will give him an opportunity to break the record in a long series against the Pistons most likely. The Detroit defense will probably focus in on James during the series, but holding LeBron under 20 points is like trying to keep Charles Barkley down to just two dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts during TNT’s double-header action. Either way you look at it, 19 just ain’t gonna be enough for these guys.

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Tim Duncan @ Phoenix 35 min, 29 pts (FG: 12-20, FT: 5-7), 11 reb, 1 ast, 2 blk

Buzzer Beater: The NBA All-Rookie Team was released on Tuesday and, yawn, oh who cares? Wake us up when any of these guys actually become ballers. We’re sure that some of these guys will eventually pan out, Brandon Roy appears to have the most potential, but this has got to be one of the most boring draft classes in the history of the league. It’s pretty bad when you rookie class highlights are, uh, highlighted by Jorge Garbajosa’s broken leg and Tyrus Thomas’ stupid comments before All-Star weekend. We can almost guarantee that Kevin Durant and Greg Oden will provide more memorable moments as rooks next year than this entire sorry class did this year. Never thought we’d say this, but Joakim Noah could have really improved last year’s draft!

Categories
New York Yankees

Odds and Ends: Yankees fans aren’t delusional at all

ESPN had an interesting poll on how the addition of Roger Clemens affects their postseason chances. A majority of voters (48%) said they’d miss the playoffs while 17% though they will be World Series Champs. What’s interesting is that only in 3 states do a majority of folks feel that the Yankees will be champions at year’s end: New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut. Delusion in a powerful force. (via be Recruited)

In other news…

[Jacksonville.com]: Goodell’s personal conduct policy claims another victim

[SI.com]: Mets fan who was crushed by a fat man is suing the Mets

[The Offside]: It’s a good thing he didn’t get a hot beef injection

[Wizard of Odds]: Our favorite entry into the Wiz’s great billboard competition

[Larry Brown Sports]: His soul probably still stinks

And finally, Malaysian officials are planning on dumping 196,00 cans of confiscated beer down the drain. It’s as if a million sports fans cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.

Categories
Soccer

Finally, someone understands how we feel about soccer


There are enough great sports here in North America that we at Sportscolumn don’t usually look across the pond for colorful commentary on athletics. But there are some quotes that just can’t be denied. Like Jorge Valdano’s remark about the poor play of Champions League participants Chelsea and Liverpool.

Put a s*** hanging from a stick in the middle of this passionate, crazy stadium and there are people who will tell you it’s a work of art.”

“It’s not — it’s a s*** hanging from a stick.

For a minute there we thought that Valdano was talking about the Green Bay Packers. But regardless of what sport it was about, that was one of the greatest quotes in the history of athletic competition. Rank it right up there with:

What’s that? Playoffs? Don’t talk about– playoffs? You kidding me? Playoffs? I just hope we can win a game!

and

I mean listen, we’re sitting here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but we’re talking about practice. Not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it’s my last but we’re talking about practice man. How silly is that?

Links:

[The Sun]: S*** hanging from a stick

Categories
Milwaukee Brewers

Brewers’ latest promotion goes ass up


If you thought that Reese’s did a good job of combining two of your favorite treats into one tasty experience, just wait until you get a load of the Milwaukee Brewers’ latest promotion.

Fans at today’s game will have the opportunity to get free tickets to an upcoming game and all they have to do to get them is participate in a free prostate exam. Yup, just let the good folks at the National Prostate Cancer Coalition feel inside your anus and you could get a pair of crappy (no pun intended) tickets to a Brewers game. Now, we know the Brew Crew is playing some pretty good ball right now but we’d rather throw down the $20-$30 bucks for our seats, thank you very much. Oh, and only the first 50 brave souls to get in line will get the tickets. Hopefully the 51st guy found that out before taking a finger to ass for nothing.

This is probably all very professional, well as professional as you can be in the rectal exam-mobile, but can you imagine walking out of that RV and having all your fellow fans pointing and laughing at you from the ticket line as you gingerly make your way over to the gates. Talk about the walk of shame. And anyways, how are you supposed to sit in a hard, plastic seat for three hours after that? But if you slap the magic word “free” in front of anything there will always be some cheap bastards lining up around the block. Some people will do anything for a little extra beer money.

Links:

[Bugs and Cranks]: Brewers Kicking, Inspecting Ass
[Froedtert.com]: Free Prostate Cancer Screenings at Miller Park
[OnMilwaukee.com]: Free Prostate Cancer Screening

Categories
General Sports

The world’s highest paid athletes 25 and under



Highest paid athlete 25 and under

Business week released their list of 27 athletes under the age of 25 who are stuffing their bank accounts. They took the top 3 earners each from nine sports and compiled a slideshow — which means you have to click next 26 times to get the full list. We hate that. So here is the list for you lazy clickers. Note that this list is based on salary and does not include endorsements.

Basketball
Joe Johnson: 25 years old, $12.7M in 2006-2007
Zach Randolph: 25 years old $12M in 2006-2007
Carlos Boozer: 25 years old $11.6M in 2006-2007. (ripped off blind man in 2004)

Football
Vince Young: 23 years old, $9.7M in 2006

Reggie Bush: 22 years old, $9M in 2006
Mario Williams: 22 years old, $9M in 2006

Tennis
Roger Federer: 25 years old, $8.3M in 2006
Justine Henin: 24 years old, $4.2M in 2006
Maria Sharapova: 20 years old, $3.8M in 2006

Soccer
Cristiano Ronaldo: 22 years old, $12.4M in 2006
Wayne Rooney: 21, $11.7M in 2007
Landon Donovan: 25, $900,000 in 2006

Formula One
Fernando Alonso: 25 years old, $20.4M in 2007
Lewis Hamilton: 22 years old, $2.8M in 2007
Heikki Kovalainen: 25 years old, $2.8M in 2007

Baseball
Carlos Zambrano: 25 years old, $6.7M in 2006
Dontrelle Willis: 25 years old, $4.35M in 2006
Francisco Rodriguez: 25 years old, $3.8M in 2006

NASCAR
Kyle Busch: 21 years old, $4.8M in 2006
Brian Vickers: 23 years old, $3.9M in 2006
Reed Sorenson: 21 years old, $3.5M in 2005

Golf
Lorena Ochoa: 25 years old, $2.6M in 2006
Camilo Villegas: 25 years old, $1.8M in 2006
Julieta Granada: 20 years old, $1.6M in 2006

Hockey
Ilya Kovalchuck: 24 years old, $5M in 2007
Rick DiPietro: 25 years old, $4.5M in 2007
Eric Staal: 22 years old, $4M in 2007

It turns out that if you want to get rich quick, the sport to play is basketball. But based on the top earning athletes without age restrictions, the long term smart bet is either Formula One (Michael Schumacher) or golf (Tiger Woods).

Links:
[Business Week]: Highest-Paid Athletes 25 and Under