Categories
College Football

Joe Paterno shows his age, again


Joe Paterno is pissed off about a brawl involving several of his players back in April and now he’s ready to throw down some punishment. And considering that Joe Pa is 80 freaking years old, you know that he’s gonna go old school with his discipline and come up with something that requires sweat and sacrifice. So, what did he come up with? Why community service, of course.

Involved in his all-for-one and one-for-all punishment is a team commitment to work with the Special Olympics and Habitat for Humanity. But the fun doesn’t stop there for his Nittany Lions because the old fart has also masterminded the idea that his team will clean the entire stadium on every Sunday following Penn State home games. Happy Valley just got a little sadder for the 2007 team.

We had kids involved in something that was embarrassing, and I think we ought to prove to people that we’re not a bunch of hoodlums,” Paterno said.

“Obviously, I’m probably going to have to keep one or two of them out of a game and drop one or two on the depth chart. And then whatever (university officials) think they have to do, they do. I want to do something where the whole team kind of says, `Hey, we’re all wrong, let’s go.’

This might sound a bit strange for a big time college football program but, then again, we’re talking about Joe Pa here. The guy can basically do anything he wants at that university and until he eventually croaks on the sidelines, nobody is gonna stop his anti-Bobby Bowden approach.

Links:

[KansasCity.com]: Paterno disciplining entire team, for entire season

Categories
Detroit Red Wings

In his hallucination, the Red Wings win the Stanley Cup

We’re not sure how we’ve missed this until now but it seems everyone else has seen it. In case you haven’t here’s a 911 call from a cop who claims his wife stole marijuana from his police car and tricked him into eating pot brownies. Highlights of the call include: “I think we’re dead,” “time is going by really really really really slow,” and at the 4:50 mark, “what’s the score in the Red Wings game?”

The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!

Links:
[Detroit Free Press]: Dearborn lets cop quit without a drug charge in marijuana brownie ca

Categories
All Other Sports

Ferret legging: the worst idea for a sport since the WNBA



Exactly what you want near your boys

We first stumbled upon this story on wikipedia and thought it was some sort of hoax entry. But it turns out “ferret legging” is a real but obscure sport from England. In his book “The King of Ferret Leggers and Other True Stories”, Donald Katz chronicles the sport and profiles the 72-year-old champion of ferrett legging.


Basically, the contest involves the tying of a competitor’s trousers at the ankles and the subsequent insertion into those trousers of a couple of peculiarly vicious fur-coated, footlong carnivores called ferrets. The brave contestant’s belt is then pulled tight, and he proceeds to stand there in front of the judges as long as he can, while animals with claws like hypodermic needles and teeth like number 16 carpet tacks try their damnedest to get out.

Yes, this is as horrible as it sounds. And the contestants don’t wear any protective cups, which means it’s just completely insane.

Links:
[Random House]: The King of the Ferret Leggers and Other True Stories

Categories
All Other Sports

Another sport for the Redneck Games: bowfishing

These guys are definitely not the catch and release type but they actually have invented a sport that’s rather clever. You have jumping carp, and bow and arrows — why not shoot them? We’re ashamed to admit it but it looks like a lot of fun. We’re rather surprised though that these guys were smart enough to attach fishing line to the arrows instead of just wasting each one. The twilight effect with the glowing arrows is especially cool.

You know it’s just a matter of time before a local newspaper reports on a fisherman with an arrow through his ass though.

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Ice cold brews here!


1. The Slumping Central: Every NL Central team has a losing record in their last ten games, including ice-cold Milwaukee. The Brewers, who have lost 9 of their last 13 games, fell 5-1 to the Dodgers on Wednesday. Brad Penny shut them out in seven innings to improve to 6-1, while Chris Capuano struggled again for the Brewers. Also, the Astros got swept by the Giants in a series that could have been a great chance to catch up to the Brewers. The Cubs, who were nearly above .500 last week, have dropped three straight and remain in third place. As for the other teams…they’ve been in a slump all year, and nothing has changed.

2. Perez beats the Braves–again: If Oliver Perez pitched against the Braves every start, he’d be unstoppable. In three starts against the Braves this season, Perez is 3-0 with only three runs allowed. Amazingly, he has accounted for all of the Mets’ victories against the Braves this season. Perez pitched seven shutout innings on Wednesday as the Mets won 3-0. David Wright homered for the fourth time in four games. The Braves won their third straight series against the Mets this year, but New York retained their division lead.

3. The Yankees Strike Back: Boston crushed the Yankees in their first two series this season, but New York just took two of three from them at Yankee Stadium. They won 8-3 to finish the series, as Andy Pettitte pitched a gem and Curt Schilling was chased after six innings. Schilling allowed 12 hits and 6 runs in what was easily his worst start of the season. Pettitte, meanwhile, went 7 innings for the fourth start in a row and gave up just one run. Surprisingly, he is now fifth in the AL in ERA with 2.66. In a starting rotation that has seen injuries, numerous rookies, and inconsistency, Pettitte is definitely the strongest link. Roger Clemens will join the rotation sometime next week, though his second minor league start was far from ideal.

Player of the Day: Magglio Ordonez, Tigers: 2 HR, 2 RBIs in an 8-7 win over the Angels for the AL MVP candidate. Ordonez has 12 homers, 42 RBIs, and leads the league in slugging and OPS.

Categories
General Sports

May 23 2007 episode of Poor Man’s PTI

Welcome to another episode of Poor Man’s PTI. We’re back to our live format this week with lots to talk about.

You can download this week’s podcast directly (running time 70 mins) or subscribe to the feed.  

If you use iTunes, just click here and then click subscribe and iTunes will take care of the rest.

This week’s topics include:

  • lots of NBA Draft lottery talk
  • Clinton Portis defends Michael Vick
  • NHL vs the Preakness
  • Jason Giambi
  • Beyond the Glory: Sex and Sports

Hope you guys enjoy the podcast.  If you did enjoy it, please give us a good rating below so we can rise up in the rankings. If you didn’t, send us an email ([email protected]) and give us some suggestions. Thanks for listening.

Categories
Chicago White Sox

Odds and Ends: White Sox World Series Ring goes for $28k


It’s kind of sad when someone has to sell their World Series ring but hey, thanks to ebay, you can get $28,100 for a ring appraised at $7,950. The ring was put on sale by Tommy Thompson, the catchers coach from the 2005 team. It’s interesting that a Red Sox 2004 World Series ring went for $35,000 last week while a Florida Marlins 1997 World Series ring is unsold at $9,999 with two hours left in the auction. Talk about an indication of the loyalty and passion of the respective fan bases.

In other news…

[USA Today]: Hank Aaron sticks to his “screw Bonds” plans

[Sportsline]: Redskins have to apologize for Portis’ dog fighting is ok comments.

[Yahoo]: Golfer drives his car off a cliff and dies. Seriously.

[SI]: backup LSU QB suspended for trying to sneak into a casino with fake ID.

[Lion in Oil]: Ooops, I accidentally pulled down my shirt to expose more cleavage while pouring a beer on myself.

[Deseret News]: Football, wrestling top sports-injury list

[Parlayer]: VIDEO: Why Sports Reporters Should Carry Breathalizers At All Times

[Our Book of Scrap]: Rays rookie threatens to kill wife

[The Hater Nation]: Raiders Dedicate Season to the Executed

Categories
All Other Sports

Countdown to UFC 71: Josh Burkman vs. Karo Parisyan

Josh Burkman is an up-n-comer in the welterweight division but he is going to have his hands full with UFC veteran Karo “The Heat” Parisyan. With a 24-4-0 record under his belt, Parisyan is one of the best fighters to never make it into the championship spotlight but with a victory on Saturday he could become the number one contender for Matt Serra’s belt. And you know that Parisyan is just dying to step back into the octagon with Serra again after he defeated the now champ, then chump by unanimous decision at UFC 53. With Diego Sanchez finally losing the first MMA fight of his career, Josh Koscheck is the only welterweight who could challenge for the title shot. But we’re getting way ahead of ourselves with all this title talk surrounding Parisyan because Burkman (or as he’s known on the streets: “The People’s Warrior”) is going to be looking to throw a monkey wrench into those plans; after all, he’s no greenhorn with an impressive 19-3 record to go along with some mad wrestling skills to combat Parisyan’s judo know-how. But in the end, we just can’t see Burkman putting out The Heat like white hot superstars Sanchez and Georges St. Pierre did in the past.

Prediction: Parisyan wins by decision

And if things don’t work out for Karo then we think we might have found an excellent rebound opponent in one Reggie Warren.

Prediction: Parisyan wins by KO

Links:

[UFC.com]: UFC 71: Liddell vs. Jackson

Categories
General Sports

Pros vs. Joes finally got interesting

Some sports fans have way too much free time on their hands, but we’re not complaining. After all, if it wasn’t for those losers then we wouldn’t be able to bring you hilarious clips like this. Today’s video of the day comes from Yardbarker who put together this awesome dream match-up between some of sports greatest athletes and your favorite animated real American heroes. That’s right; it’s “Pros Vs. G.I. Joes.”

Wonder no more what would happen if Gung-Ho tried to score a TD against Troy Polamalu or if Tracker can beat Ron Artest in a game of 21 because now we know. And knowing is half the battle.

Personally, we can’t get enough of that wacky Manny Ramirez! For some reason, Man-Ram going to bat in a Santa suit doesn’t seem all that farfetched.

Links:

[Yardbarker.com]: Pros vs. GI Joes

Categories
Philadelphia Phillies

Nobody enjoys losing more than Philadelphia



The Phillies have been losing for a really long
time now

There’s not a whole lot to cheer about these days in Philly. QB controversy is already coming down on Eagles camp, Allen Iverson split town and the Sixers have no real future to speak of at the moment, and then you have the Phillies. Actually, they are having a fairly decent year so far but that doesn’t mean that haven’t stunk something fierce in the past. In fact, as of this moment the Phillies are just 21 losses away from reaching the 10,000 loss plateau. And Charley DeBow thinks that is something to celebrate.

DeBow started up Celebrate10000.com because, as he says, “Real phans love their losers.”

This year, the Philadelphia Phillies are poised to accomplish what no other team in professional sports history has before: 10,000 losses.

Not only is Philadelphia home to the franchise that has lost the most games in any sport, it’s also the city (with four major sports teams) that’s gone the longest without a championship.

This website is not about celebrating the Phillies 10,000th loss. It’s about celebrating the Phans. We’re the ones who suffer the most. Let’s celebrate each other because without each other we would be watching the games alone, high fiving the wall. Let’s make sure we keep our presence known.

Now, we understand that this site wasn’t intended to poke fun at the town’s loveable losers but, c’mon, there’s a huge ticker that is racking up the losses for cryin’ out loud. If enduring through 10,000 defeats is what it takes to be a good fan then we’d rather jump on the Mets bandwagon. DeBow is also planning a “celebration march” after the team finally loses that historical contest. Wow, and we thought that Raiders fans had lost their minds.

Links:

[Philly.com]: You have to love a team a lot to devote a Web site to its 10,000 losses
[Celebrate10000.com]: Celebrate 10,000 Home Page