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General Sports

We never realized just how much strategy goes into NASCAR

We’ve tried our hardest to get into the world of motor sports, but we just can’t get excited about watching cars go round and round for hours on end. That was until we saw this segment about NASCAR that was both enlightening and educational. Since then, we can’t get enough of the stuff. Coach Dan Amon, we thank you for your insight.


NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: ‘Drive Fast’

Keep turning left. Straight, straight! Go straight and go fast. Go fast and straight. Keep going fast. Straighter!”

Links:

[The Big Lead]: NASCAR Strategies, Courtesy of the Onion

Categories
New York Yankees

Forget about The Bronx Is Burning, we’ve got The Bronx Pitch Project

Most of you out there probably think that you already know about all the blockbuster movies that will be or have been released this summer. Of course, there’s Transformers, The Simpsons Movie, Harry Potter and Something Else Magical, Live Free or Die Hard and ESPN’s pick for greatest movie of all time: I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. But have you heard about the chill inducing, horror flick that’s sending audiences screaming from theaters across the nation? If you haven’t, here’s a sneak peek at The Bronx Pitch Project!

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All Other Sports

Pacman Jones’ backup plan in life: pro wrestling

So, what do you do when you get suspended from your job for being a notorious malcontent with a rap sheet that would make Suge Knight blush? Well, if you’re Pacman Jones, you go to the only place on earth where criminals are openly accepted: pro wrestling!

That’s right, Pacman is stepping into the squared circle for a body slamming good time according to “sources close to WTVF-TV in Nashville.” But before you go off thinking that Vince McMahon has just done it again by cashing in on some real life notoriety, you should know that Pacman isn’t signing with the WWE. Nope, turns out that the spontaneously combusting McMahon (that was fake, right?) got scooped on the deal and the suspended Titan will be joining the high-flying, hard-hitting crew at TNA. So far, there has been no comment from the big wigs at TNA, but they did say that they would release a statement soon.

Personally, we’re as sick of Pacman as the next guy and we really just want to see him rot in a cell, but now that we’ve gotten wind of this little gimmick, we’re starting to change our mind. After all, if there’s even a sliver of a chance that we could see Abyss slam Pacman onto a pile of thumbtacks then we’re all in. And, anyways, there’s no way he could be any worse than this, right?

Unfortunately, it looks like the Titans could be big party poopers as they are now threatening to pull the plug on the whole deal because it would be a violation of his contract. While, we’d love to see Pacman get slammed right on his head, if he’s relegated to a strictly speaking role it could be equally, if not more, entertaining. But we’re still holding out hope that there is a Steiner Recliner somewhere in Pacman’s future.

Links:

[VolunteerTV.com]: Pacman Jones A Professional Wrestler?

Categories
Boston Celtics

Kevin Garnett finally finds his pot of gold in Boston


After 12 years in Minnesota, Kevin Garnett finally became the last person on the face of the planet to realize that the Timberwolves aren’t going anywhere, anytime soon in a deep, deep Western Conference. And instead of being a conference AND division cellar dweller once again, it appears that KG will finally have his time to shine in the postseason as he teams up with a pair of superstars in Boston. The move sends The Big Ticket to the Celtics for Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Theo Ratliff, Ryan Gomes, Sebastian Telfair (good luck with that one) and two future 1st-round picks.

Sure, it might sound like a lot, but we’re talking about Kevin Garnett here. Considering that he’s easily one of the greatest players to ever lace up a pair of sneakers, we’re going to say it’s a steal and break away slam dunk for the leprechauns. And talk about breathing new life into the dead! Not only is Garnett getting resurrected for a second shot at NBA immortality and hopefully a couple of playoff wins, but the Celtics are looking at making one of the greatest turn-arounds in league history.

After enduring a stomach turning season that consisted of some comical losing streaks, followed up by David Stern’s punch to the gut at the NBA Draft, the Celtics can finally grin from ear to ear as they have since acquired the sweet shooting touch of Ray Allen and the unquantifiable talents of KG. Throw in a healthy dose of a healthy Paul Pierce and you’ve got a big batch of conference contenders brewing in Beantown. The only problem imaginable is that there might not be enough ball to go around for all those All-Stars. But, then again, considering that none of the big three have been to the NBA Finals, we’re guessing they’ll be more than willing to share for the common cause. And for the faithful fans of the men in green, it’s been a really, really, really long time since they could actually consider too much talent to be a problem, so we doubt we hear any complaints from them either.

Links:

[SI.com]: Ticketed for Boston

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Braves make a big move wit Teixeira


1. Brave New World: The Atlanta Braves made a deal on Monday that will shake up the entire order in the National League. In the first (and perhaps only) big deal this trading deadline, Atlanta acquired All Star Mark Teixeira from the Rangers. They gave up phenom catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia, two minor leaguers, and also got a lefty reliever in return from Texas. With this acquisition, the Braves have put together what is probably the league’s best offense. They already had the fifth-most runs in the NL, and now they have a slugger at what has been their weakest position: first base. Teixeira is hitting .297 this year with 49 RBIs in only 78 games. The Braves’ combined first basemen this year, in 106 games, have only 41 RBIs and a .211 average. With Teixeira hitting likely at cleanup now, the Braves have virtually no holes in their lineup. Unless their bullpen is awful (like it has been lately), then the Braves will be a top challenger for the Wild Card, if not the division title.

2. Hotter than Hot: The Cubs have one of the league’s best records since the All Star break, but the Phillies have been even better recently. They have now won 9 out of 10 after beating Chicago 4-1 on Monday. The Phillies, who lead the National League in runs by a mile, won with pitching. Cole Hamels gave up one run and three hits in eight innings, along with eight strikeouts. The ace improved to 12-5 with a 3.50 ERA on the year. Hamels ranks second in the league in strikeouts behind only Jake Peavy. On offense, Aaron Rowand had another great game, with a homer and three RBIs. Rowand is hitting .418 since the All Star break with a ridiculous 1.242 OPS. The Phillies are now three games behind the Mets in the NL East, and 1.5 ahead of the Braves. But they were the only one of the three teams not to make a deal yesterday (Teixeira to the Braves and Luis Castillo to the Mets).

3. The Worst Team in the League: Sometimes there is a close race for the MLB cellar, but this year the Devil Rays are far and away the league’s worst. They won on Monday, becoming the last team to reach the 40-win plateau this year. They have allowed 662 runs, almost 100 more than the next worst (the Rangers, 568). Opponents have hit nearly .300 against them. Amazingly, their offense is above-average, but their pitching is so bad it doesn’t even matter. Recently they traded for Dan Wheeler to help out their atrocious bullpen, which has a 6.51 ERA this year. Wheeler is a good pitcher, but there’s no way he can turn this awful team around.

Player of the Day: Jordan Tata, Tigers: 7 innings, 2 runs, 5 strikeouts in a 5-2 win over Oakland. There were better pitching performances on Monday, but Tata helped end the Tigers’ four game losing streak in his first major league start.

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Boston back on top


1. Back to Being the Best: The Red Sox, once again, have the best record in baseball. They are 62-40 after beating the Indians in a series 3-1. They won 14-9 on Thursday, in a high-scoring contest that followed two 1-0 games between the teams. Manny Ramirez was the star in this one, with two homers, four RBIs, and four runs. Wily Mo Pena also contributed four hits and four RBIs, even after coming into the game with a .080 average in July. The Indians were excellent too on offense, as eight of their starters scored a run, but it wasn’’t even as Boston blew through them. The Red Sox extended their division lead over the Yankees back to 7.5 with the win and the Yanks’ loss to the Royals.

2. Hot and Cold: The Arizona Diamondbacks have been probably the streakiest team in baseball this season, with four winning streaks of 6 or more games and three losing streaks of 5 or more games. Right now they are hot, with their sixth win in a row coming against the Marlins. Arizona won 7-4 due to a three-run walk-off homer by Eric Byrnes. Their bullpen pitched six shutout innings after starter Micah Owings was knocked out of the game. The Diamondbacks are now ahead of the Padres for the first time in while, and they’re only 1.5 games back of Los Angeles. Next week, they will play against the Padres and Dodgers in series that could shake up the order in the NL West.

3. Double Trouble: The Phillies had a terrible day on Thursday, as they lost 7-6 to the Nationals and one of their superstars players was hurt. MVP candidate Chase Utley broke his hand as he was hit by a pitch. He may only be out 3-4 weeks, but it still will affect the team for the worse. Utley is a major reason the Phillies lead the league in runs, with a .336 average, 82 RBIs, and 79 runs. The sooner he comes back, the better for Philadelphia, which is 2.5 games out in the Wild Card race.

Player of the Day: Nick Swisher, A’s: 3-5, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs in a 6-2 win over Seattle.

Categories
All Other Sports

Apparently, Greg Louganis isn’t the only one to misjudge a dive

So, we were actually watching FSN last night and what’s more embarrassing is that we were watching The Best Damn Sports Show. But, we have a good excuse; see, they ran one of their Top 50 countdowns and it took a look back at the most devastating hits in sports history. As always, they managed to bring us a painful, painful clip that we had never seen before. So, unfortunately, we have to give them some credit, gosh darnit. Here’s the second most devastating hit in sports history:

And in case you were wondering, here’s a look at their No. 1.

Categories
All Other Sports

The Simpsons are a bunch of athletic supporters

One of the best things about Springfield, ??, is that it really is a little slice of Americana presented on a platter every week. So, like any good TV show, The Simpsons shows the highs and lows of modern culture and in the good ol’ U.S. of A., nothing is celebrated quite like the world of sports. So, here’s a list of Top 10 Simpsons Sports Moments according to Barstool Sports. Personally, we can’t get enough of people taking shots to the crotch, so, obviously, we thought that No. 8 should have been much higher on the list.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: The Simpsons Are Good At Sports
[Barstool Sports]: The Top 10 Simpsons Sports Moments

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All Other Sports

Barry Bonds and Bob Costas have a war of words


Barry Bonds is one of the biggest smartasses on the face of the earth, so it wasn’t all that surprising to hear him say he thought someone else could be using the juice. However, what was surprising is that he was questioning the integrity of Bob Costas!

These two are now going back and forth, taking shots at each other through various media outlets after Bonds called Costas a “little midget man who knows (nothing) about baseball.” Good one, Barry. But then the midget man delivered some heat of his own to the soon-to-be homerun king.

As anyone can plainly see, I’m 5-6 1/2 and a strapping 150, and unlike some people, I came by all of it naturally,” Costas said Thursday in a telephone interview.

Ohhh, burn! Now this is where it becomes ridiculously apparent that Bonds is either the most sarcastic man on the planet or that the syringes full of steroids actually have affected his head in more ways than simply making it multiply in dimensions.

Told before Thursday’s series finale that Costas claimed he came by his physique naturally, Bonds responded, “How do you know?” before going on to say he didn’t care.

Ummm, Barry, it’s pretty damn obvious. After all, this is a guy who spent all of last season standing on a box so that Cris freakin’ Collinsworth didn’t make him look like a child.

Links:

[AZCentral.com]: Costas zings Bonds over `midget’ comment

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All Other Sports

This is what you missed while sleeping during the game

We know that when you plunk down good money for a ticket to a ballgame, you should be able to do whatever you want, within reason of course, while in your seat. You can cheer, you can boo, heck, you can even fall asleep if you so choose. But, if you decide to do the latter, be prepared to become the laughingstock of the stadium.