Category: New England Patriots

new-england-patriots

Categories
New England Patriots

Bill Belichick does his best Santa Scrooge impression


The Patriots are on the verge of immortality. With a win over the Giants on Saturday night, they can brush aside those annoying, geriatric Dolphins from yesteryear, becoming the only team to go a perfect 16-0 in the regular season. Sounds like a pretty good Christmas gift to us. Bill Belichick, on the other hand, is still gonna be a “bah humbug” until that Super Bowl trophy is in his hands again. So, leave it to Sports Illustrated to have a little fun with the NFL’s grumpiest guru, digitally putting Belichick into a Santa suit for the cover of the year-end special of SI.

We gotta give it to the guys at SI, other than seeing a bikini clad babe sprawled across the magazine’s face, this was the year’s best cover. Heck, even Belichick seemed to enjoy it.

Being associated with Santa Claus, there’s a lot worse associations to have,” he said yesterday. “I’ll take it. When you’re a kid, sometimes you dream about being on the cover of Sports Illustrated. That’s not actually the one I pictured, but it’s pretty funny. Whatever sells.

“…not actually the one I pictured”??? You didn’t want to grace the swimsuit edition cover, did you?

Links:

[TheStar.com]: `Santa’ Belichick latest coverboy

Categories
New England Patriots

No one compares to the Pats for Pat Noone, not even Mrs. Noone


We all love to say that we’re our favorite team’s No. 1 fan. Some of us could even make a legitimate case to receive such an award. But in the end, we all pale in comparison to the one, the only, the undeniable king of extreme, New England Patriots superfan Pat Noone.

Consider this: For more than 30 years, Noone has been driving to games at Foxborough from his home in – wait for it – Pennsylvania. The trip from the Poconos typically takes 5 1/2 hours, but in bad weather, Noone, an executive at the DG Yuengling & Son Brewery, can be on the road for up to 10 hours – and that’s one way. But, wait, there’s more. Noone’s wedding ring has a Patriots logo on it, and he’s installed a 1,200-pound wooden bear wearing a Pats jersey in his front yard. The house he shares with his long-suffering wife has a replica of the Pats locker room, and it even includes a urinal.

Okay, so maybe it’s a bit overboard, but Mr. Noone is still the coolest guy on the planet. C’mon, how many of you guys out there would love to have the balls to say something like this to your potential wife.

Q. Being recognized like this must be a treat

A. I’m ecstatic and grateful. It’s one of the highlights of my life.

Q. Don’t let your wife hear you say that.

A. Oh, she’ll understand. When we got married, I put a stipulation on it. I told her, ‘The Pats are No. 1 and you’ll be No. 2.’ I told her if she can accept those terms, great, and if not, I’ll understand and we can go along just being friends.

…

I told her about training camp and the draft. . . I told her she could be No. 1 for the month of May.

And she still said yes?! We stand in awe Mr. Noone, we stand in awe.

Links:

[Boston.com]: How big a fan? Patriots are No. 1 in his life, his wife No. 2.

Categories
New England Patriots

50 Cent ain’t got jack on Mercury Morris

You might not like the Patriots; hell, you might hate the Patriots. Hell, we hate the Patriots (that damn Tom Brady and his stunning good looks). But you have to be rooting for an undefeated season and clean sweep of the playoffs; even if it’s for no other reason than to simply shut Mercury Morris the heck up.

Oh, this guy isn’t living in the past. His beats are even ancient. We’re surprised his rap didn’t start off “I’m Mercury Morris and I’m here to say…“. Man we hope karma bites Morris right in the butt. Nothing would be sweeter than to see New England run the table AND Miami pull the ultimate 0-16 choke job. Hey, he’d always have ’72.

Categories
New England Patriots

Rumor has it Gordon Ramsey is looking to hire Bill Belichick

Did you know that Bill Belichick’s “culinary skills are legendary throughout the NFL”? We didn’t think so. In fact, the only person who seems to be blown away by Belichick’s recipes for BBPBJs is this loser Mike Veneman. What a friggin’ brown-noser.

Geez, a guy who loves to sport hoboesque looking sweatshirts has a fancy for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Go figure.

Links:

[PatsFans.com]: Cooking with Bill Belichick

Categories
New England Patriots

Tom Brady might have to beat down Leo DiCaprio for moving in on his woman


Leonardo DiCaprio could have any girl he wants, but it seems that he wants the one that got away. Apparently Leo is regretting having ever let the stunning Gisele Bundchen out of his grasp and, frankly, we can’t blame him. Problem is, as everyone knows, Gisele is currently dating the soon-to-be NFL MVP Tom Brady. Well, Brady is a man, in fact, he’s the Stetson man, and apparently he doesn’t take kindly to old flames sending text messages or calling his lady.

In Touch Weekly is reporting that the NFL signal caller is unhappy with the entire development.

Now that Leo’s romance with Israeli model Bar Refaeli is kaput, he’s rekindled his friendship with Gisele, 27, and has been texting her a lot., the story claims.

“Leo now realizes what a mistake he made by not marrying Gisele,” his pal dishes to the magazine. “He knows she’s with Tom, so if he can’t have her as a girlfriend, he wants her as a friend.” According to the insider, Tom, 30, is miffed that Leo, 33, is suddenly back in Gisele’s life, even though she’s assured him that it’s just platonic. “Tom is not happy at all that Gisele and Leo are friends again,” the insider says.

Of course he’s upset! He knows there’s no such thing as friends between guys and girls, especially between an ex-boyfriend and a supermodel. He’d have to be dumber than Helio’s old ladyto let Leo back in the picture.

Links:

[NationalLedger.com]: Leonardo DiCaprio Texting Gisele Bundchen: Tom Brady Fumes!

Categories
New England Patriots

Even Roger Goodell bows down to the great Bill Belichick


Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who thinks that NFL commish Roger Goodell just got soft. After Bill Belichick intentionally broke the rules during the very first week of the season, Goodell decided to dish out measly fines of $500,000 to Belichick, $250,000 to the Patriots and took away the team’s first-round draft pick next year if they reach they playoffs and second and third rounders if they don’t.

Talk about a slap on the wrist! He says that the draft picks will hurt the team more than suspending Belichick. Okay, whatever, he’s got his reasoning and who are we to argue. After all, his tenure so far has been pretty spectacular with his gift of Pacman Jones to professional wrestling and his lengthy suspensions of other notorious bad boys. But what gets us are the puny fines. $750,000 combined just seems a bit weak. Just the other day on the other side of the pond, the World Motor Sports Council slapped Team McLaren with a $100 million fine and stripped them of all their points due to a spying scandal! Now, that’s a fine!

It’s blatantly obvious that this isn’t the first time this has happened, regardless of what Belichick says or doesn’t say. So, while it’ll never happen and we all know the comments are in jest, who knows, maybe the Philadelphia Eagles really do have an argument.

I think they should forfeit, man,” said punt returner Reno Mahe, smiling. “We won the Super Bowl. I think we should get it.

I’m going to go trade my NFC championship ring for a Super Bowl ring.

Links:

[KETV.com]: NFL Fines Pats Coach Belichick $500,000
[6ABC.com]: Did The Patriots Cheat in Super Bowl?

Categories
New England Patriots

Who’s your daddy? Why, it’s Tom Brady!


Life can’t get much better fro Tom Brady right now. He was just named the world’s best dresser, the Pats have finally assembled a quality receiving core around him, and he’s got a handful of Super Bowl rings. Oh, yea, he’s also dating the smokin’ hot supermodel Gisele Bundchen. In addition, drooling babes from all seven continents now have a new moniker for the hunky signal caller…D.I.L.F.

Brady’s ex, Bridget Moynahan, gave birth to little boy yesterday and Moynahan’s publicist says that both are doing just fine. Brady left the Patriots preseason workouts in order to see the birth of his first child, but it is unknown if he arrived in time. Even if Brady didn’t make it in time to see the sloppy delivery, he still has an entire lifetime ahead of him to bond with his little man. Who knows, in 17 years Brady could end up being his son’s high school quarterbacks coach. Sound crazy? Not if you’re John Elway.

Elway is leaving the comfortable confines of retirement for a job at his son’s Cherry Creek High School. Jack Elway is the senior QB for the squad so it probably doesn’t hurt any to have possibly the greatest quarterback in the history of the NFL dishing out advice. Of course, Jack has been hearing his old man repeat the same old stories a thousand times now, so it’s really nothing new.

It’s good,” Jack Elway told The Denver Post. “It’s nice to have him out there, but I’ve actually always had him as a coach at home.

But with all the crazy “little league dads” out there, the head coach of the team has to be worried that there will be eventual problems that could result.

As a coach, you’re trying to not have fathers on your staff,” he said, “but this is a little different deal.

Don’t worry Tom, if you keep racking up the yards, TDs and rings then your kid’s coach will make the exact same exception.

Links:

[Boston.com]: It’s a boy for Bridget Moynahan and Tom Brady
[CBS4Denver.com]: Elway To Coach Son In High School As QB Coach

Categories
New England Patriots

Tom Brady is Tom Brady’s biggest fan

The NFL season is just about to get underway and for all the dudes out there that means Sundays full of beers and barbeque and Monday Night Football/poker night at your buddy’s pad. But for the ladies, the kickoff to the NFL season has a whole other significance: its Tom Brady time!

Rickey Henderson and Chad Johnson better watch out because Tom Brady refers to himself in the third person more than either of those two loudmouths. And who knew that Brady had a persona bigger than Bill Brasky’s? No wonder chicks like Gisele are throwing themselves at his feet.

Categories
New England Patriots

Someone is going directly to hell


Marquise Hill, the New England Patriots lineman who died in a jet ski accident last month was laid to rest on Saturday. On top of having to mourn her son, Hill’s mother Sherry came home from the funeral to find that $16,000 worth of stuff was stolen from her home. The burglars took a laptop and a television among other things.

Police haven’t made any arrests but they are working some leads. A New Orleans Police Department spokesman said that it might have been an opportunistic burglar who knew that everyone would be out of the house at the funeral. Once again, may we suggest a punishment of ferret legging when these criminals are caught.

By the way, check out this discussion thread on Snopes.com about the urban legend that there are burglars who read the obits and burglarize people while they’re at funerals.

Links:
[SI]: Hill’s mom robbed day of funeral

Categories
New England Patriots

Keep your wives and free agents away from Bill Belichick


After our failed attempt to track down Bill Belichick’s latest lady, we’re going to leave it up to the experts. The Inside Track girls are the Boston Herald have tracked down the real Linda Holliday that was spotted with Bill Belichick at the Final Four.


Linda Holliday, the mother of two preteen girls, is the mystery blonde Belichick took to the NCAA National Championship hoopla in Atlanta the other night. Holliday, we’re told, is in the process of divorcing Eugene “Butch” Holliday, a 53-year-old Arkansas businessman who is her third hubby.

Linda, we’re told, left Holliday and moved to Florida to be near her sister. She subsequently met Belichick and they began dating.

Now the couple was already separated so Bill can’t be given credit for breaking up yet another marriage, but he certainly didn’t help any reconciliation efforts.

So there you have it, that free agent signing spree over the winter? That wasn’t so much the Patriots being upset they lost to the Colts, it was just Belichick and his serial need to take what isn’t his.

P.S. This post comes with a bonus pic of Sharon Shennoca, the last marriage Belichick wrecked.

Links:
[Inside Track]: Belichick’s blonde ambition nets a new squeeze

[SC]: Belichick is a homewrecker – Sharon Shenoca