Categories
Boston Red Sox

What, you couldn’t afford an infomercial?



Yours for the low, low
price of just $4,000.

Manny Ramirez is a strange character to say the least, so nothing should be too surprising at this point. Still, we never expected to see Man Ram’s mug on eBay next to an “AMAZING” grill, but we did and here’s what Ramirez has to say about his item up for bid.

Hi, I’m Manny Ramirez,” the listing said. “I bought this AMAZING grill for about $4,000 and I used it once. … But I never have the time to use it because I am always on the road. I would love to sell it and you will get an autographed ball signed by me. Enjoy it, Manny Ramirez.

Apparently word has gotten out about Manny’s sales pitch because the offer has gone from an opening bid of $3,000 to the $99,999,999 that it currently sits at after 210 bids. That’s a pretty sweet profit, even for a guy who has over $100 million in the bank. Obviously this has become a joke but nobody got a bigger laugh than Bidder 13 who offered $5,111.11 for the grill as a reminder of the $51.11 million the Sox offered to negotiate with Daisuke Matsuzaka.

I’m a businessman,” Ramirez said with a laugh. “I need the money.

Links:

[eBay]: Manny Ramirez: JENN-AIR Grill
[SeattlePI.com]: For sale: Grill, used, by Manny Ramirez

Categories
General Sports

For relaxing times, make it Hulk Hogan time

So, what do you do when you’re a washed up wrestler who is currently bringing home the bacon by starring in a dumb reality show? Well, if you’re the Hulkster you take off to the other side of the globe, attach your image to a crappy commercial and sing an off key lullaby in your underwear for Bigflow. Geez, guess he never expected this to make it back to America. The only question left is, “Whatcha gonna do when the whole world is pointing and laughing at you, brother!”

Links:

[Adfreak.com]: Hogan knows best in Japanese commercial

Categories
MLB General

Odds and Ends: Are you looking at George’s crotch again?


Well folks, there’s no other way to explain it. Apparently men (or at least the men in this study) are fixated on crotches. Some might say that we “respect the cock“.

A study by Jakob Nielsen to track how different people look at web pages came up with some unexpected results. According to the data, men tend to study the crotch and the face while women look only at the face. This also happens when the image was of an animal too. This was discovered on the American Kennel Club site. We couldn’t even make this stuff up. (via Can’t Stop the Bleeding)

In other news…

[Chicks Dig the Long Ball]: Mascot Madness

[Yahoo]: Pete Rose thinks fans would be elated if baseball reintated him because his name is synonymous with baseball. Actually Pete, your name is synonymous with gambling.

[Leave the Man Alone]: The dumbest theory we’ve heard in a while

[Steroid Nation]: Evander Holyfield finally gets Tyson back for biting his ear

[Awful Announcing]: ESPN to televise this year’s Rock paper Scissors championship

Categories
New York Yankees

March 5 in Sports History: Wife Swap — Yankees Edition

 

In 1973: At the start of spring training, A-Rod admitted that he and Jeter don’t get along that much anymore. Blah blah yawn. And this is supposed to be some type of “huge distraction” according to the New York Media Hand Wringers Association. They should look up “spring training distraction” in the Yankee dictionary (if such a thing existed) and they would find the ultimate one took place on the first day at the very same training camp in 1973. You see, it had nothing to do with actual baseball. On this day, it was announced that pitchers Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson were involved in a trade. Some called it the “strangest trade in baseball history.”

It turned out that Peterson and Kekich swapped wives. And their two children they each had (no honey, you won’t need any therapy). Even the two dogs were thrown into the deal. As Kekich said, “we didn’t swap wives, we swapped lives.”

The aftermath was interesting.  Kekich and his new wife, formerly Marilyn Peterson, only lasted a few months. Mike’s career didn’t last much longer, as he was traded to Cleveland where he went 2-7 before being released. Peterson — who was considered a pretty good pitcher — went from 17-13 the year before the “trade” to 8-15 the year after. The marriage between him and the former Susanne Kekich has lasted to this day, however. (Full story)

In 1964: Those of us who don’t work during the day were permanatley given something to watch as NFL Films was created on this day 43 years ago. Ed Sabol, father of current NFL Films president Steve Sabol, sold his Blair Motion Pictures Company to NFL owners. The Sabol’s went from filming 30-minute team highlight videos on 16 mm film (which are still produced today with teams being shown in the same positive light whether they were the 14-2 Chargers or the 2-14 Raiders) to amazing Super Bowl shows (still on 16 mm film) with every player and coach (and mom, unfortunately) wired for sound from every conceivable angle. Steve once told 60 Minutes that only World War II has been filmed more than the NFL. Hey, as long as we can find “Football Follies” somewhere on cable at 2 PM on a Tuesday, we’ll keep tuning in.

Categories
Detroit Lions

Nude driving is worth one game suspension


We don’t know why it took this long but the NFL has finally handed down a one game suspension to Lions d-line coach Joe Cullen for “conduct detrimental to the league”. Cullen was arrested twice within a week for drunk driving and “driving on the street without any clothes on. (NUDE).” Police were called when Cullen pulled up to a drive-thru naked behind the wheel. Man, a naked pasty old guy at your drive thru window deserves some sort of hazard pay.

Cullen was also fined $20k by the league which seems a little excessive considering the man is just a position coach and not making millions like the various members of the Cincinnati Bengals who got arrested this year. TO gets a $35k fine for “accidentally” spitting in DeAngelo Hall’s face and Cullen gets $20k for nude driving. This isn’t right. One is degrading and puts a black eye on the league. The other is just plain funny.

Links:
[Detroit Free Press]: NFL suspends, fines Lions assistant Cullen

Categories
General Sports

Chris Rock is psychic

The payoff comes at the end but damn it’s uncanny isn’t it?

P.S. Chris Rock is a genius.

Categories
All Other Sports

Odds and Ends: The Sport of Kings


Hunt organizers are accused of plying a tame bear with vodka-drench honey so that the King of Spain, Juan Carlos would have an easier time of killing a bear during a recent hunting excursion. Apparently, Russian hunt organizers have done this before as they used to ply animals with booze or tie them to trees so that former Soviet leader Brezhnev could still enjoy hunting even as he got older and his aim got worse.

Now Dick Cheney might shoot his friends in the face but he never had to resort to having hunt organizers ply quail with booze. America! Fuck Yeah!

In other news…

[Slate]: The physics of baseball’s most popular illegal pitches

[High and Tight]: Kenny Rogers no stranger to cheating

[MSNBC]: Backup punter surrenders on attempted murder charge for stabbing first string punter

[Hoops Addict]: Hey! Whatever Happened To John Starks?

[Fanblogs.com]: Ohio State #1 selling “Team Colors” paint

[TrojanWire]: Ivy League Mascot Wars: More Entertaining Than Ivy League Football

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: PETA Takes Credit For The NBA’s Much Maligned New Ball

Categories
All Other Sports

Photo of the Year: Attack athletes foot

All we can say is ouch.

Categories
College Football

Here’s one way to make the starting lineup

University of Northern Colorado’s reserve punter Mitch Cozad was arrested for stabbing the starting punter in the kicking leg. An anonymous university employee reports that Cozad attacked Mendoza from behind and stabbed him between the buttocks and the hamstring.

Now that starter Rafael Mendoza is out for Saturday’s game, freshman Zak Bigelow will have the punting duties while Cozad gets himself a second-degree assault charge and expulsion from school.

Didn’t Tanya Harding teach us anything? First, you don’t do the actual maiming yourself, you hire some fat thug to do it for you. Second, this might be the most unimaginative way to hurt someone but the most imaginative twisted way to get the starting job. Too bad it had zero chance of actually working.

No word on whether Mendoza was writhing on the ground sobbing, “why me? why now?”

Links:

[The Denver Channel]: UNC Reserve Punter Arrested For Allegedly Stabbing Rival In Leg

Categories
Minnesota Timberwolves

Kevin Garnett gets Lost in Translation

Remember when Bill Murray has to go on that weird Japanese talk show, “the Johnny Carson of Japan”, with the slightly gay host? Well, this is Kevin Garnett’s trip to a Taiwanese television show. KG is traveling the world promoting… something. Who has the time to read this blog but the folks over at Free Darko (who apparently have a lot of time on their hands now that Darko actually has been freed), found the only part of the trip you need to know about.

Two new dance crazes are sweeping the nation folks, ‘clean the ear’ and ‘make the pizza’. God save us all.