Categories
Philadelphia Eagles

Odds and Ends: The Oregon Ducks are off the hook


Who puked up this color scheme?

The Philadelphia Eagles are celebrating their 75th season in the National Football League, so in order to commemorate the occasion, the Eagles will be dressed in the franchise’s 1933 throwback uniforms.

Oh, but these aren’t just any unis; these are quite possibly the ugliest uniforms ever worn in the history of sports. We’re not sure is if the purpose is to commemorate or humiliate the team but either way Philly fans can turn in their traditional green for yellow and baby blue on September 23 when the Eagles host the Lions.

In other news…

[Lion In Oil]: The Braves can get you into a slightly used seat with 90-day, interest free financing; so, do we have a deal?

[Steroid Nation]: Pit bulls are now being accused of having connections with BALCO

[Star-Telegram.com]: From America’s Team to Arena Football: The Quincy Carter Story

[Boston.com]: Time is almost up for you to own your Red Sox World Series ring. Don’t delay, act now!

And finally, here’s a story of a man in Germany who had a bit too much to drink one night and fell asleep with a horse inside of a bank’s lobby. The couple was discovered the next morning by employees heading into work. The man said that he only had a “few beers” and we believe him; hell, Al Reynolds slept with Star Jones when she was a fat load and he wasn’t even drunk.

Categories
Soccer

Soccer player gets yellow card instead of black eye after kissing referee

We’re not big soccer fans; in fact, the only times we report on futbol is when riots break out or some chick rips off her shirt after a goal. But a story about a soccer player kissing a ref caught our eye because the referee decided to give his admirer a yellow card for the smooch. Apparently the ref took offense to the sign of affection and started saying “You can’t kiss me. You can’t kiss me.” You can’t blame the guy for getting upset at the kissing bandit; after all, the least he could have done was take him out to dinner first.

This got us thinking about some of the more famous kisses in sports history. What we came up with can be found after the jump.

Links:

[TheOffside]: Defender kisses ref. and gets yellow carded

Categories
NFL General

Now you can own something that Bill Cowher considered to be junk

Sorry guys, but this is coming
with me.

Bill Cowher had been in Pittsburgh for a long time, and when in you stay in one place for that many years there’s a good chance that you’ll accumulate a butt load of crap. So, when The Chin left the Steelers organization for the hills of North Cackalacky, he decided to leave a few of his personal belongings behind and clear out some clutter. And as the saying goes, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure; so here’s the perfect opportunity for Pittsburgh fans to go high class dumpster hopping in hopes of grabbing a spittle covered memoir.

Dargate Auction Galleries will now be in charge of auctioning off over 130 individual pieces from the Cowher home on Saturday starting at 10 a.m. Some of the pieces up for grabs include a foosball table, pinball game, patio furniture, a desk and chair, some china, a pool table and several pieces of designer furniture.

And if you’re feeling a bit frisky you could even bid on the coach’s bed or a shag rug that would make Austin Powers cringe. But if it’s strictly Steelers stuff you desire, then you’ll be forced to take a long look at an ice bucket with the logo imprinted on it or a Pittsburgh Steelers desk clock.

Most people with bank accounts as big as Cowher’s would have simply paid the movers to pack up the left over junk and haul it to the vacation home in Maine or at least rent (or buy) a storage unit (or complex). But hey, it’s classier than taking out an ad in the local paper and throwing your ex’s stuff on the lawn for a garage sale millionaire style.

Links:

[KDKA.com]: Items from Bill Cowher’s Home on Auction Block

Categories
New York Mets

Fat guy tumbles down stairs at Shea, crushes lady


Anybody who has ever been to a baseball game knows that fans are required to be active and aware at all times. You never know when a foul ball or even a bat could come flying into the stands. And you might want to even keep an eye on those crafty vendors who will try to sell you last week’s unsold hot dogs. But, the last thing any dedicated fan could possibly be prepared for would be a 300-pound monster of a man to come tumbling down the bleachers and blindside you while you enjoyed an ice cold brewski. Well, now you’ve been warned because that is exactly what happened to Ellen Massey during the Mets home opener on Monday.

I only know he came flying,” Massey, 58, said Wednesday from her bed in Jacobi Medical Center in the Bronx. “I was literally not able to breathe for about half-a-minute or so. The first thing I was aware of was not being able to breathe, and then when I was able to breathe I was aware of the pain in my lower back.

Luckily, Massey is a lawyer, so she’ll probably sue his fat ass if she ever finds him. The human cannonball got up and left the scene quicker than Michael Waltrip after he wrapped his ride around a telephone pole.

Massey is scheduled to have surgery on her back as a result of the incident and admits that she would have never expected anything like this to happen at her beloved Shea Stadium.

I have to say that in going to a baseball park, the only fear that has ever entered my mind is that I’d get hit by a hard ball,” she said.

“I didn’t expect a 300-pound human missile to hit me in the back. That doesn’t come up on my list of fears.

We’re wondering if it could have been this guy as he was taking a day off from his training to enjoy America’s pastime.

Links:

[NewsDay.com]: 300-pound man crushes fan at Shea

Categories
New York Islanders

Jesus, we hope it was just spit


Two Islanders Ice Girls (the ones who clean the snow during breaks and pick up the debris after a hat trick) say that the Rangers are disgusting louts.

Kelli Higgins says that she was cleaning up the goaltender’s crease when Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist took a big windup, whacked her squeegee and the stick hit her stomach. But that pales in comparison to what happened to Chanel Benson. According to Chanel, she was leaving the ice during the next television timeout when someone spit on her back. As you can tell from the photo, the Ice Girls wear some pretty nice outfits where their midriff and back are exposed.


All of a sudden, my back got wet. I believe one of the Rangers players who was sitting along the wall spit on my back. It had to be on purpose because I wasn’t directly in front of anyone to spit and not realize I was there.

The Islanders’ VP of game operations confirmed that there were wet spots on the back of her pants. OK, so which Ranger could it have been? The smart money is on Sean Avery.

And by the way, we hope he just spit and it wasn’t a re-enactment of the scene in Silence of the Lambs.

Links:
[Newsday.com]: Ice Girls want Rangers called for slashing, spitting

Categories
NFL General

Ex-NFL player throws old man off balcony


At one time, Hubert D. Thompson was considered to be the top-rated defensive end prospect in the nation by many analysts. Now, the former Spartan and Saint will be need to learn how to become proficient at defending his own rear end because he’s about to be locked up for a long time.

Thompson was involved in a seven-hour standoff with SWAT teams surrounding his apartment in Lombard, IL, after he threw a 66-year-old man off of a third story balcony. Thompson is being held on $3 million bond and is charged with the murder of James Malone.

There is currently no motive for the Suge Knight/Vanilla Ice recreation gone wrong, but police said that it could have been just a case of Malone being in the wrong place at the wrong time as Thompson went berserk and punched the old man in the face while out in the hallway before tossing him over the edge.

The allegation is that it was unprovoked,” DuPage County State’s Attorney Joseph Birkett told the (Arlington Heights) Daily Herald. “This individual is going to be evaluated, I’m sure.

Lombard Police Deputy Chief Dane Cuny said that his officers had several encounters with Thompson in the past due to his “emotional issues” and said that this was possibly another “emotional episode” by Thompson. Calling this an emotional episode is like saying Mike Tyson only has a slight anger management problem. We like to refer to something like this as more of an emotional meltdown.

Links:

[ChicagoSports.com]: Ex-NFL player facing murder charges
[SI.com]: Ex-MSU player charged with murder
[Chicago Tribune]: Ex-football pro held on murder charge

Categories
College Football

Odds and Ends: Jim Harbaugh takes the opening shot



What did I say?

Jim Harbaugh just got the job as Stanford’s coach and he’s already making enemies. Harbaugh came out and said that USC’s Pete Carroll would not be with the program come next year. Pete denied the statement and fired back with the ol’ “And if he has any questions about it he should call me.” Sounds like we have an old fashioned feud a brewin’, too bad these two won’t be suiting up when their teams get together on October 6.

In other news…

[Steroid Nation]: George Mitchell is taking his sweet time with this steroid inquiry

[Page Six]: Beckham says, why can’t I check the menu?

[BostonHerald.com]: A marathon isn’t squat after going to the moon and back

[Page Six]: LeBron like Karl Malone, loves big breaseses.

[The Big Lead]: Carl Pavano should go hang out with LeBron now

[AdFreak.com]: Christian Laettner has already ordered two boxes

And for all you ladies out there, here’s a story to help you sleep a little better at night.

Categories
New York Knicks

Body parts wash up in the strangest places



Reunited at last?

James Dolan is a corporate big wig who is the owner of the Knicks and Rangers, CEO of Cablevision and Chairman of Madison Square Garden and earlier this morning he became the owner of a human leg that washed up on his property in Cove Neck, N.Y.

The limb was wrapped inside of a garbage bag and found by the billionaire’s landscaper. Police said that the skin was still attached to the bone which would seem to indicate that it hadn’t been floating around for too terribly long.

Now, we don’t know a lot about Cove Neck, N.Y. but this has got to hurt the resale value of the property. But hey, it’s better than what washed up in Mamaroneck. That’s where an entire women’s torso washed ashore earlier this month. The law is still unable to identify the victim.

However, one possible owner of the leg was revealed. Unfortunately, she is currently on a business trip to Hollywood for a stint on “Dancing with the Stars,” but will be notified immediately for questioning.

Links:

[WCBSTV.com]: Leg washes ashore on property of Knicks owner

Categories
Golf

Sergio Garcia can’t putt but he can hit the bottom of the cup

Tiger Woods wins another trophy at Doral but the buzz around the blogosphere is about Sergio Garcia spitting into the cup after missing a short putt. This shows not only the dominance of Tiger but also the lack of class of Sergio. Who the hell spits into a cup after missing a par putt? Not even the neanderthals wearing jeans and wifebeaters who play the public courses we go to do this.

When asked about it, Sergio said that he made sure it went through the hole at the bottom of the cup so that the next person to drain a putt wouldn’t have to clean his spit off the ball. Right. I’m sure that’s exactly what’s on his mind as he’s hocking a loogie into the cup. Klassy.

Links:

[NY Post]: COMMISH DOWNPLAYS SERGIO’S SPITTING FIT

Categories
General Sports

High school coaches of America take notice



Come here son, I’ll show
you the wrath of a coach.

If you thought that America was full of frivolous law suits, just wait until you get a load of what is going on in France. Jean-Louis Montero is a defender on the Troyes soccer club and a French cry baby who is suing his coach, Jean-Marc Furlan, because he was mean to him.

Montero claims he has been “subjected, for several months, to the wrath of my coach”, who has “called into question my honour and seriousness”. Now, we’ve never heard of having your seriousness questioned, in fact, we don’t even know what that means but this guy is definitely trying to act like this law suit has nothing to do with being benched by Furlan. But we knew the truth after he slipped up and revealed a little bit of insight into why he filed for defamation.

This has nothing to do with the fact I’m no longer playing. He has called my honour into question on numerous occasions,” Montero said.
“In an artical written on November 28, he (Furlan) said that I was no longer good enough to play in the first division. I have played 200 matches in that league.

Michael Jordan is one of the greatest athletes of all-time but it doesn’t mean that he didn’t suck at the end of his career. Take your benching like a man and don’t try to act like your coach being a prick is what got you there. Geez, what a baby; this guy wouldn’t last five minutes in a room with The General Robert Montgomery Knight.

Links:

[Yahoo]: Montero sues Troyes coach for defamation
[TeamTalk.com]: Troyes defender in coach complaint