We don’t know about ya’ll, but we love reading Rick Reilly’s stuff. You heard us, right? We said reading his stuff. We’re just really not feeling his new animated stand up act.
Ugh, that was painful. Reilly should ask these guys for a little help with his routine. However, we gotta admit, we did love his rip on Rex Grossman. Rex is so bad that Roger Goodell should ban him from the league for not using performance enhancing substances.
Okay, something strange is going on in the world of football.
Florida and Texas seem to be having some competition over who can get the most players arrested in a calendar year. At the moment, the Gators are ahead by a nose thanks to safety Tony Joiner’s recent trip to the clink. Joiner became the eighth Florida player in the last nine months to get in trouble after he was arrested and charged with felony burglary on Tuesday.
Police say he was arrested around 5 a.m. outside the fenced impound lot of a towing company.
He was accused of pushing a heavy electric gate open to enter the lot in an attempt to retrieve his girlfriend’s car, which police say was being held in place of a $76 towing bill.
Joiner was taken to the Alachua County Jail and later released on his own recognizance.
And what makes matters worse is that Joiner is a senior captain who has already racked up 20 tackles this year. Not exactly the leadership Urban Meyer was looking for heading into a huge SEC showdown with LSU.
Then you’ve got Texas Tech linebacker Kellen Tillman, apparently trying to take some of the limelight away from the state rival Longhorns, who got popped with some pot. Perhaps he was trying to take a bit of the edge off after getting suspended for unspecified reasons in the Red Raiders 75-7 blowout of Northwestern State.
Tillman, a starter, had 21 tackles and a sack in Texas Tech’s first four games.
According to police, an officer walked up to one of two cars stopped in the center turn lane of a street and saw what he believed to be marijuana. Tillman, the only person in the car, was arrested at the scene, Lubbock police Lt. Scott Hudgens said.
It appeared the two cars had been involved in a minor traffic accident, Hudgens said.
If convicted, Tillman faces up to 180 days in jail and a $2,000 fine.
All right, now for the real kicker: while these guys were getting hauled off by the cops, Pacman Jones was actually doing some good in the community for a change.
Jones bought 1,500 tickets to the next TNA Wrestling pay-per-view and he’s donating them to students as incentive for good grades and good behavior. Go figure.
Links:
[NewsChannel5.com]: Florida team captain Joiner arrested, charged with burglary
[DallasNews.com]: Texas Tech LB arrested on marijuana charge
[SI.com]: Pacman buys TNA tix for students
We know that pro athletes are notorious for using their bodies as canvases. So, it’s really not all that surprising to hear that Stephen Jackson of the Golden State Warriors got a new tattoo over the summer. However, it is pretty shocking to hear what Jackson decided to get.
Yes, this is the same Stephen Jackson who will miss the Warriors’ first seven games under NBA suspension for pleading guilty to a felony charge of criminal recklessness after firing an awfully similar gun into the air at an Indianapolis strip club.
“I pray I never have to use it again,” Jackson said in explanation.
Jackson’s incredible audacity under the tattoo needle is stunning even to his teammates, who seem to be in a frantic competition to cover their entire bodies in ink.
“I can’t believe that one,” said Al Harrington, who redecorated his arms and back. “I thought I was crazy.”
But Jackson’s fearlessness is exactly why the Warriors love him — and basketball’s favorite playoff underdogs need a big season from the swingman now that Jason Richardson has departed along with the Warriors’ element of surprise.
“We’re going to have a full season together, and all the nonsense is behind me,” said Jackson, perhaps also referring to his unfinished full back tattoo of the jack of diamonds — with himself as the jack. “All my probation stuff is behind me. I don’t have to worry about flying back and forth to court this year, so it’s all positive. I’m ready to roll.
Wow, praying hands with a gun for a guy guilty on gun charges. We’re with Al on this one; you’re looney man. At least the ink on his back is pretty accurate. Jackson is definitely a jack-something; we just didn’t have jack of diamonds in mind.
Links:
[The Canadian Press]: With suspension looming, Golden State’s Stephen Jackson is back
Just when we thought you couldn’t get any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally demean yourself!
Parents never cease to amaze us with their complete stupidity when it comes to their kids and sports. We all know about the `overbearing baseball dad’ and the `crazy soccer mom’ and now we know about `umbrella-wielding football parents.’
The fight occurred when a parent of a child on the losing team struck a parent from the winning team with an umbrella, Lacey police officer Roland Sapinoso said.
The fight broke out at about 3:30 p.m. in a practice field next to South Sound Stadium after a game between two Black Hills Youth Football teams made up of second- through fourth-graders.
The president of the Oregon football league, Chuck Farrar, had some incredible insight when he told reporters that the people who started the brawl were parents “who took a game of second- through fourth-graders way too seriously.”
That Chuck, he’s got some great observation skills. He must have learned from this video how to pick up on subtleties like that.
Links:
[TheOlympian.com]: 2 arrested in fight at youth ball game
[KIROTV.com]: Brawling Parents Banned From Future Football Games
The Buckeyes suspended freshman reserve quarterback Antonio Henton from the team after he got arrested attempting to solicit a prostitute. Henton was arrested on Monday around 8:30 p.m. in Columbus, Ohio, after pulling his car up alongside a lady of the night and offering her 20 bucks for sex. And of course, she was a cop.
The sergeant said officers involved in the operation identified Henton immediately after his arrest.
“One of the officers that made the stop on him from the cruiser that follows Ohio State football knew immediately who he was,” the sergeant said. “He seemed very remorseful.
Remorseful is probably the understatement of the year; after all, he was on his way to hopefully becoming the starting quarterback at THE Ohio State University. He’d never have to go roaming the streets for cheap dates ever again. Heck, we’re pretty sure that even Craig Krenzel was able to get some quality tail on status alone.
Henton was released around 3:00 in the afternoon after posting a $2,500 bond. But, enough about Henton’s great mistake already. We don’t want to be too critical of the `kid’ and rile up coach Gundy all over again. However, we are getting kinda worried about the psyche of the state. On the heels of the whole Maurice Clarrett debacle, Ohioans are really taking this news pretty hard; especially Judge Amy Selerno.
We don’t blame the honorable judge for her disappointment, but we’re guessing that there’s a few million Big Blue faithful who are loving the fact that their rivals are the ones finally squirming a bit this year.
Links:
[10TV.com]: Ohio State Player Suspended After Arrest
The Worm is apparently guilty of more than just having horrible taste in automobiles. TMZ is reporting that Dennis Rodman spanked some random girl in a bar, inciting accusations of sexual battery.
Jim Amormino, a spokesperson for the O.C. Sheriff, told TMZ, “Officers did respond to an incident involving a man and a woman. A police report was taken, and is currently with the sex crime unit of the Sheriff’s department.
While this is not a highlight in his career by any stretch of the imagination, after OJ’s recent incident, we felt just a little let down by Rodman’s butt bongo stunt. We hate to say it, but you’re starting to lose a little steam Dennis. If all you have left in the tank is a hideous car and tawdry actions then we’re gonna just have to move on. We don’t want a cheap imitation of the mad man we once knew. If you’re not going balls to the wall for us, then we can’t waste anymore time with you.
Links:
[TMZ]: Dennis Rodman Accused of Sexual Battery
When we decide to bring you bowling clips, there are really only three types that can even make the cut. We can bring you some loser impressing himself with a little trickeration:
Or we could bring you some in-competition perfection:
Or, we could just show a guy who is way too sloshed to be renting lice infested shoes:
We never thought we’d say this, but round up the fellas and a suitcase of Bud. We’re going bowling!
The Juice was at it again as he got arrested on Sunday on chargers of robbing sports memorabilia from an auction house that was setting up shop inside of a Las Vegas hotel. Apparently, OJ showed up to the room with some thugs under the guise that they were customers, but according to Bruce Fromong, another collector inside the room, those were not Simpson’s intentions.
“The thing in my mind as soon as I saw him, I’m thinking, ‘O.J., how can you be this dumb? You’re in enough trouble.”’
Fromong said Simpson later left him a voice mail message telling him some of Fromong’s things were “mixed up” with his and asking how he could give them back.
OJ claims that he was simply trying to get back items that were stolen from him. Things are still being sorted out, but Simpson was charged with two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon and conspiracy to commit a burglary with a firearm on Sunday night. He could be facing up to 30 years on each robbery count if he’s found guilty.
Oh, but it gets better. Leave it to TMZ.com to unearth the audio of the Juice’s holdup in which a voice believed to be Simpson is heard shouting “Don’t let nobody out of this room,” and “Motherf***ers! Think you can steal my s*** and sell it?”
To be fair though, Fromong said that he never saw a weapon or felt threatened by OJ at any time, but two guns were seized by police during their investigation. We don’t know what the heck Simpson was thinking with this stunt, but we’re thrilled that everyone walked out of the hotel with their heads still attached.
Links:
[WAVE3.com]: Audiotape released of sports memorabilia dispute involving O.J. Simpson in Las Vegas
[TMZ.com]: O.J.’s Alleged Robbery – Caught on Tape!
Yeah, it’s Monday and, yeah, life kinda stinks when you have to leave your weekends of football and ice coldies for another five days of slaving for the man. Well, here’s a great way to let out some of that left over aggression or to pick you back up from a Monday morning let down. Of course, you have to find an idiot friend who’s willing to be a human target for you, but that shouldn’t be too difficult.
Any volunteers?
Links:
[Our Book of Scrap]: Human Target Practice Using Golf Balls
We’ve brought you plenty of crazy `sports’ in the past; some of `em were pretty cool, some of `em were complete wastes of time, *cough**cough*finger jousting*cough*. But we think we might have hit another homer with the discovery of our latest favorite pastime. So, without further ado, we bring to you BallBall, or, as it is more commonly known, “the sport for idiots.” While we couldn’t agree more with the catchy moniker, we also can’t wait to give it a go.
Links:
[Seal Clubbers]: This Is Gold Jerry! Gold!
