Tag: NFL

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General Sports

Sean Salisbury’s tactics might be childish, but you can’t blame him for being honest

Maybe it was “Bootgate” or maybe it was Plaxico Burress’ slightly awry (but nevertheless correct) victory prediction. Or maybe it was just because after two weeks of incessant coverage we just couldn’t stomach anymore jibber-jabber from the talking heads on SportsCenter. Any way you slice, we missed out on a sweet catfight between Sean “Shut Up Old Man” Salisbury and John “Crypt Keeper” Clayton.

We normally like Salisbury, but for some reason, he turns into ESPN‘s biggest jackass when sharing the screen with Clayton. Believe it or not Sean, but it is actually possible to be informed and have an opinion about football even if you’ve never stepped foot onto a field. Your history of wearing a jock doesn’t give you any special analytical powers and your school-yard-bully tactics make you look ridiculous.

You might be spot on in this instance, Clayton does look likes he’s been dead for about a decade, but you still look foolish in your approach. Even when side by side with the living Crypt Keeper.

Links:

[The Big Lead]: Salisbury rips Clayton on-air: “Tales from the Crypt”

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NFL General

Isn’t sexy NFL coach an oxymoron?


There is no doubt about who the sexiest man in the NFL is. It’s Tom Brady with his twinkling eyes, tanned skin, flowing locks and rugged good looks. Uh, at least that’s what the ladies tell us. But have you ever wondered who the sexiest coach in the NFL is? Bill Belichick? Nope. Wade Phillips? Negative. Mike Holmgren? Tony Sparano? Andy Reid? Tom Coughlin? No, no, no and hell no.

Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin is the sexiest coach prowling the NFL sidelines, according to Victoria’s Secret.

The company has an annual “What Is Sexy List” in various categories. This year, because Victoria’s Secret has its first Super Bowl commercial since 1999, it decided to do an NFL sexy list.

A Victoria’s Secret panel looked at factors including general attractiveness and charisma, and when it came to coaches, Tomlin came out on top.

In case you’re wondering, rumor has it Stan Van Gundy and George Karl are neck and neck in the NBA’s equivalent. The winner joins Frank Layden, Dennis Rodman, Kurt Rambis and Popeye Jones in the NBA’s Sexy Hall of Fame.

Links:

[Post-Gazette.com]: Tomlin `sexiest coach’ in NFL

Categories
General Sports

The dark side of Chris Berman

Outside of John Madden, Chris Berman has the most recognizable face and voice in all of NFL television coverage. He’s been a staple of ESPN for decades now and his “whaaaap” and car crash sound effects are things of legend. Of course, he’s also one of the most annoying men to ever strap on a microphone and his gimmickry is killing the NFL, but when it comes down to showtime, he’s a professional through and through. Yup; cool, calm, collected and professional. That’s the Swami.

Good to know we’re not the only ones with a `close your eyes and rub your temples’ kind of feeling when he’s in studio.

Links:

[The Wizard of Odds]: Chris Berman Goes Crazy

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NFL General

Forget everything that happened ON the field in the NFL, we’re talking `bout talking

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: we loves us some soundbites!

Categories
NFL General

When did "Michael Row the Boat Ashore" become a stadium anthem?

If you thought that Janet Jackson’s nip slip was the most offensive moment the Super Bowl ever produced then you ain’t seen nothing yet. Obviously, you don’t remember the “Up With People” fiasco during SB XVI. Like with Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction a few years back, if there are small children in the room, cover their eyes and ears immediately.

Links:

[The Big Lead]: Worst. Super Bowl. Halftime. Ever.

Categories
Fantasy Football

Do you know the terms of your fantasy football loan?

Anybody who has ever played fantasy football knows that being a virtual GM can be downright expensive. Rookie owners often think they just have to throw in their share of the pot and that’s that, but the grizzled veterans of the game know there is a ton of overhead associated with being a competitive fantasy franchise. Thankfully there are the good people at Frist National Bank.

Categories
New England Patriots

No one compares to the Pats for Pat Noone, not even Mrs. Noone


We all love to say that we’re our favorite team’s No. 1 fan. Some of us could even make a legitimate case to receive such an award. But in the end, we all pale in comparison to the one, the only, the undeniable king of extreme, New England Patriots superfan Pat Noone.

Consider this: For more than 30 years, Noone has been driving to games at Foxborough from his home in – wait for it – Pennsylvania. The trip from the Poconos typically takes 5 1/2 hours, but in bad weather, Noone, an executive at the DG Yuengling & Son Brewery, can be on the road for up to 10 hours – and that’s one way. But, wait, there’s more. Noone’s wedding ring has a Patriots logo on it, and he’s installed a 1,200-pound wooden bear wearing a Pats jersey in his front yard. The house he shares with his long-suffering wife has a replica of the Pats locker room, and it even includes a urinal.

Okay, so maybe it’s a bit overboard, but Mr. Noone is still the coolest guy on the planet. C’mon, how many of you guys out there would love to have the balls to say something like this to your potential wife.

Q. Being recognized like this must be a treat

A. I’m ecstatic and grateful. It’s one of the highlights of my life.

Q. Don’t let your wife hear you say that.

A. Oh, she’ll understand. When we got married, I put a stipulation on it. I told her, ‘The Pats are No. 1 and you’ll be No. 2.’ I told her if she can accept those terms, great, and if not, I’ll understand and we can go along just being friends.

…

I told her about training camp and the draft. . . I told her she could be No. 1 for the month of May.

And she still said yes?! We stand in awe Mr. Noone, we stand in awe.

Links:

[Boston.com]: How big a fan? Patriots are No. 1 in his life, his wife No. 2.

Categories
Atlanta Falcons

PETA wishes Michael Vick a rape-filled holiday season and a happy new year


If you thought that Shaquille O’Neal was one to hold a grudge, just get a load of PETA. While these people will walk to the ends of the earth for an abused llama, they got no problem trying to humiliate and disgrace anyone who dares anger them. But at least it is in the name of Christmas spirit.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has created a holiday e-card featuring former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, who is serving a 23-month federal sentence for a dogfighting conspiracy.

In the card, a cartoon version of Vick paces across a prison yard inside a snow globe as gun-toting guards and their barking dogs keep watch. He’s wearing an orange prison jumpsuit and football helmet and dragging a ball and chain.

When a visitor to PETA’s Web site shakes the snow globe by dragging a mouse, Vick bounces around and crashes against the globe’s dome as a commentator announces, “They got to the quarterback’s blind side there. He never had a chance.”

“We’re having a bit of fun, but prison is no lark and we’re hoping that Michael will use his time behind bars this holiday season to think about goodwill and peace for all,” PETA assistant director Dan Shannon said in a statement Tuesday.

Uh-huh Dan, we’re sure that’s exactly what you’re hoping for Mike.

In addition to Vick, PETA made cards for all the people on their naughty list this year, including “Cold-Blooded Colonel Sanders”, “Hairy-Kate and Trashley: the Olson Twins”, “Pelt Pusher Anna Wintour”, “Fur Hag Kate Moss” and “Hunter Dick Cheney.”

What? No “Why Didn’t You Die Roy Horn” Christmas card?

Links:

[MSNBC]: PETA creates holiday e-card featuring Vick

Categories
Pittsburgh Steelers

Steelers Anthony Smith guarantees victory over Pats and then asks what the definition of `is’ is


The Patriots sure did lose a lot of credibility despite never having lost a game. Guess all it takes in this league is a couple of close contests to go from everybody thinking you’re gonna run the table to getting guarantees dropped on your head by opposing players. Sorta.

People keep asking me if we’re ready for the Patriots,” Steelers defensive back Anthony Smith said. “They should be asking if they’re ready for us.”

Is Smith so confident that he is willing to copy one of former Pittsburgh linebacker Joey Porter’s familiar motivational ploys by guaranteeing the Steelers will win?

“We’re going to win,” Smith said. “Yeah, I can guarantee a win. As long as we come out and do what we got to do. Both sides of the ball are rolling, and if our special teams come through for us, we’ve got a good chance to win.

We’ve got no qualms about guaranteeing victories. If a player or coach wants to open their fat mouths and inspire their opponents then so be it, but just make sure that you are actually going to nut-up and guarantee the victory flat out. Smith tried to guarantee victory, but still managed to leave himself an out by adding the clarifying clause of “As long as we come out and do what we got to do.”

Guess what, we guarantee that we will own an NFL franchise one day. As long as they lower the price to under $199.99 and we can pay our players in dirt and leaves.

Hopefully for Smith, like with crappy Christmas gifts, maybe it’s just the thought that counts.

Links:

[International Herald Tribune]: Steelers player “guarantees” win over Patriots

Categories
Oakland Raiders

Josh McCown is a clown both on and off the field


You might think of Josh McCown as a crummy quarterback on a crummy team, but you’d be totally wrong. He’s a comedic crummy quarterback on a crummy team. Big difference.

On Sunday, McCown played to a packed audience in the interview room at McAfee Coliseum. As they say in the business, McCown killed.

Here’s a sampling of McCown’s best lines during his postgame news conference:

On if he had ever signaled touchdown from his back, as he did on a third-quarter pass to wide receiver Jerry Porter after being flattened by Broncos linebacker Ian Gold: “You know, I spent my first four years in Arizona,” McCown said, pausing for effect.

When asked what he thought of Kiffin yelling at a Broncos player for the vicious hit on the aforementioned play: “That was sweet, to see Lane yell at somebody besides me,” McCown said.

Finally, he fired off this zinger when asked whether he was aware of how well his brother, Luke, played in a Tampa Bay Buccaneers victory over the New Orleans Saints earlier Sunday.

“This is one of the best days of football for us,” McCown said. “That’s awesome. I’m so excited for him — and glad I threw for more touchdowns than him.”

Last Thursday, McCown chided fellow quarterback Andrew Walter for throwing the pass that led to his dislocating his pinkie finger, saying, it wouldn’t have happened if Walter threw a spiral.

At least McCown is able to laugh at himself and his squad, just like the rest of us.

Links:

[InsideBayArea.com]: McCown’s jokes leave `em smiling