Categories
College Football

Here’s one way to make the starting lineup

University of Northern Colorado’s reserve punter Mitch Cozad was arrested for stabbing the starting punter in the kicking leg. An anonymous university employee reports that Cozad attacked Mendoza from behind and stabbed him between the buttocks and the hamstring.

Now that starter Rafael Mendoza is out for Saturday’s game, freshman Zak Bigelow will have the punting duties while Cozad gets himself a second-degree assault charge and expulsion from school.

Didn’t Tanya Harding teach us anything? First, you don’t do the actual maiming yourself, you hire some fat thug to do it for you. Second, this might be the most unimaginative way to hurt someone but the most imaginative twisted way to get the starting job. Too bad it had zero chance of actually working.

No word on whether Mendoza was writhing on the ground sobbing, “why me? why now?”

Links:

[The Denver Channel]: UNC Reserve Punter Arrested For Allegedly Stabbing Rival In Leg

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: sneaky Giants in postseason chase


1. A Giant comeback: The San Francisco Giants have sat toward the back of the NL West division throughout most of this season. However, via a recent winning streak they’ve snuck up on the class of the division, the Padres and Dodgers. After beating the Rockies 10-6 yesterday for their 7th win in 10 games, the Giants are just 3 games back of the leading Dodgers and 1.5 games out from the Wild Card-leading Padres. Yesterday Pedro Feliz drove in three RBIs in the win, giving him a team-leading 91. Despite being a quiet team throughout most of the year, the Giants have a serious shot at the postseason.

2. The Greatest Show on Grass: The St. Louis Cardinals appear to have the division title wrapped up once again. They’ve won two straight games and lead the pretending Reds by just five games, but they are the vastly superior team. Their record is 77-67 after winning last night, while the Reds are stuck at 72-72. The Cards slipped away with a late win due to the usual suspect: Albert Pujols. He hit a two-run double in the ninth that provided the difference in their 6-5 win over the Astros. Pujols, who has 45 homers and 120 RBIs, has a good shot at his second straight MVP award. However, our vote would still go to Ryan Howard of the Phillies, who was rained out again yesterday but leads Pujols in most categories.

3. West vs. Central: The “Big Three” AL Central teams are currently in battle with the three top teams from the AL West. The Tigers are taking on the Rangers, the Twins are playing the A’s, and the White Sox are facing the Angels. Yesterday, the Tigers, Twins, and Angels won among those three series. Detroit snapped a losing streak with a 3-2 win, with each of their runs coming off a solo homer. Kenny Rogers earned the win in that one. Meanwhile, the Twins beat the A’s 7-5 to win their fifth straight. Justin Morneau improved his average to .324 while hitting two RBIs (120). The Sox lost, however, by a 4-3 margin to LA. Chone Figgins drove in a run off Bobby Jenks in the 11th to win that one.

4. Over after the first: The Yankees displayed all their offensive power as early as the first inning in yesterday’s home game against the Devil Rays. They scored 9 runs in the first, including a remarkable 6 driven in by Bobby Abreu. Abreu hit a three-run homer his first time up and followed that up with a three-run double. His 6 RBIs in one inning tied him for the second-most in the last 30 years. Only Fernando Tatis, who hit two grand slams in one inning on April 23, 1999, has ever had more. Abreu is hitting .346 with 31 RBIs as a Yankee and has a .298 overall average. Mike Mussina pitched well for the Yanks and improved to 14-6 on the year. New York rolled 12-4 and has reopened their double digit lead over the Red Sox.

5. 14 and done: This has been a forgone conclusion for a while now, but at least now it’s official. The Braves are out of the running in the NL East, and they won’t win their 15th straight division title. Yesterday the Mets edged the Marlins, and even though the Braves were off that sealed the deal for Atlanta. The Mets, who are 89-55 and so much better than the Braves in every way, have done what they haven’t been able to do for 15 years. They even made the World Series in 2000, but they’ve hadn’t beaten the Braves since the Internet Age began. Now they have. They lead Atlanta by 19.5, and the Braves’ Wild Card hopes are all but over as they are 5 out with six teams ahead of them. RIP, Braves dynasty.

Categories
Texas Rangers

Sep 13 in Sports History: Texas Chair Toss


In 2004: Texas Rangers relief pitcher Frank Francisco was arrested and charged with aggravated battery for throwing a chair in the stands. The incident started when Oakland fans behind the bullpen were reportedly heckling Rangers pitcher Doug Brocail about his stillborn son. Francisco hit a woman in the face with the chair and was suspended for the remainder of the season. He plead guilty to misdemeanor assault and was ordered to take anger management classes. He missed the 2005 season because of elbow surgery and was just recently recalled to the Rangers.

In 1981: The Atlanta Falcons tied an NFL record by scoring 31 points in a nine-minute span during the fourth quarter in a 31-17 victory over the Green Bay Packers in Lambeau Field. The early-season loss would ultimately cost the Packers a chance to win the NFC Central Division, as they finished a game behind Tampa Bay.

In 1973 Congress and President Nixon passed a bill to lift the NFL’s blackout policy. Before this, local games were not available in the home team’s city. This means that the Pittsburgh Steelers “Immaculate Reception” victory over the Oakland Raiders in the 1972 playoffs was not seen in Pittsburgh.

Categories
New York Yankees

Odds and Ends: Trash Talk Scoreboard – Jeter 1 Ortiz 0



Jeter to Ortiz: Sit down

On Sunday, Big Papi decided to talk a little trash and say that Derek Jeter’s MVP candidacy was illegitimate because of the Yankees murderer’s row of hitters.


Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great player but he’s got a lot of guys in that lineup. Top to bottom, you’ve got a guy who can hurt you. Come hit in this lineup, see how good you can be.

Jeter responded by pointing to the division standings.

I’m not thinking about the MVP right now. We’re thinking about winning a division. We’ve still got something to play for.

In other news…

[All Headline News]: New GM Garth Snow and crazy Isles owner Charles Wang gives DiPietro 15 year $67.5M contract

[MSNBC]: Coach K decries ‘cloud’ of rape case. Basketball coach says it’s unfair that all of Duke athletics were tainted

[Footyblog]: Top Wives and Girlfriends in English soccer

[WHDH Boston]: Red Sox fan cursed at Red Sox players, shook his seat loose from bolting and throws seat in the face of a Maine woman nearby

[Superflav]: Off Topic but very cool: best rock video choreography you’ll ever see live

Categories
Cleveland Browns

There’s your Karma, Cleveland



Stay Classy, Cleveland

You ever wonder why Cleveland is the most cursed city in sports? And why the Browns seem to be the most cursed franchise? It’s because one of their fans will actually steal a wheelchair from a guy with spina bifoda. The fan leaves his wheelchair at the bottom of the landing before walking up to his seat. At the end of the game, he walked back down and his wheelchair was gone.

Now can you understand why prize free-agent signing LeCharles Bentley blew out his left knee in the first practice of the season and why another free agent Joe Jurevicius suffered a rib injury in the first game. Romeo Crennel should just quit right now and get the hell out of there. It’s not ever going to get any better.

Of course, just last week, Cleveland was named the most loyal fans in the NFL.

Categories
Washington Redskins

People really hate Heath Shuler

You know you were a terrible NFL player when someone will go out of their way to keep you out of congress from a state they don’t even live in.


This site is dedicated to keeping Heath Shuler out of Congress, and therefore out of Washington, DC. No, we are not residents of North Carolina’s 11th District, nor could we pick it out on a map (it’s up in the mountains, right?). No, we aren’t working for any of Shuler’s rivals. We simply are Redskins fans and we love the city of Washington. And quite frankly, both are better off since Heath left town, and we don’t want him back.

Stopshuler.com has facts about Heath Shuler — completely irrelevant to his congressional campaign — but they make a very good point in saying that Washington DC is a much better place without Heath Shuler and should stay that way.

And of course, this is politics so why stop at a website when you can create your own television attack ad.

Categories
Chicago Bears

Shutout means free furniture for Bears fans



Sir, that’s not free furniture, that’s Brett
Favre in the pocket

A furniture store owner near Chicago named Randy Gonigam offered customers a refund on their furniture purchase (up to $10,000) if the Bears shut out the Packers last weekend. Well, a score of 26-0 later, 206 customers got their purchases for free. The total given in away in free furniture was around $300,000.

Gonigam didn’t actually expect the Bears to shut out the Packers but he took out an insurance policy on the contest giveaway “with a company that specializes in insuring prize reimbursements.” The degenerate gamblers that we are, we wonder if the insurance was really just a $10,000 bet. The odds of the Packers getting shut out have to have been around 30-1.

This is really a smart marketing ploy. We can see this kind of thing happening at car dealerships. Think of something that is a longshot of happening (like no INTs for Brett Favre or Fred Taylor not getting hurt this year) and then offer a refund on a purchase if it comes to pass. It’s not like anyone can return a car.

Links:
[CNN]: Furniture customers score with Bears’ shutout

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Chris Carpenter for NL Cy Young



This year’s Cy Young

1. Cy to Carpenter: Who should win the NL Cy Young this year? While Johan Santana has virtually clinched the AL award, there is no clear favorite in the National League. But in our opinion, the league’s winner from last year is again its best pitcher this year. He is Chris Carpenter of the St. Louis Cardinals, and he’s been dominant recently. Carpenter, who went 21-5 last year to take home his first career Cy Young, is 14-6 this year with a 2.84 ERA. Last night he shut down the Astros with a complete game, six-hit shutout. It was his second straight complete game in a row and third in his last six games. He’s won four straight decisions, and leads the NL in both ERA and WHIP. Carpenter has also been the only consistent starter for the Cardinals this season. That should be enough to add another Cy Young to his trophy case.

2. That’s offensive: It’s been well-established that the Florida Marlins have some good young players. Last night, many of them were at their finest. The Fish stomped the Mets 16-5, and while Anibal Sanchez failed in his quest for two straight no-hitters, it was all good news for Florida. Star third baseman Miguel Cabrera drove in three RBIs, giving him 109 on the year. All Star Dan Uggla went 5-5 and scored three runs. But it was outfielder Cody Ross that had the biggest day. Ross hit three homers, seven RBIs, and went 4-5 at the plate. All in all Marlins rookies hit five homeruns, setting a major league record. They passed Philly to improve to second place in the division and in the Wild Card race. They’re just two games out of the lead in the latter.

3. Keeping pace: As the Minnesota Twins won again yesterday, the White Sox needed to stay close to them by winning themselves. And, despite only recording four hits against starter John Lackey and the LA Angels, they still managed to win 3-2. Jose Contreras has his second consecutive 8 inning, one run allowed start. He had previously allowed five or more runs for four straight starts. But he improved to 13-7 as Bobby Jenks saved his 40th game of the year. The win left the Sox 3 games back of the Tigers and 1.5 behind the Twins for the Wild Card. This should be a fantastic race down the stretch.

4. Mid-field greatness: Where do the Yankees strengths lie? Well, they have many, but their greatest asset could be their middle infield. Derek Jeter and Robinson Cano have been the best offensive shortstop-second base combination this season, at least in terms of batting average. Cano is hitting .336 and Jeter .345. While Jeter is second in the league, Cano doesn’t have enough at-bats to qualify. Anyway, his three-run double in yesterday’s game put the Yankees ahead for good over the Orioles. Jeter, meanwhile, continued his 21 game hit streak, a career high for him. He has 13 homers and 91 RBIs this year; Cano has 9 and 59 in less at-bats. That’s pretty good for a double-play combo.

5. Lefty #2 returns: Francisco Liriano, who is one of two lefty aces for the Minnesota Twins, is finally coming back to the mound. After missing more than a month, Liriano is off the disabled list and is set to return to the rotation as early as Wednesday. The 12-3, 2.19 ERA Liriano will pitch against the Oakland A’s. Assuming Liriano picks up where he left off, this could be a huge boost to the Twins in their push for the playoffs.

Categories
San Francisco Giants

Odds and Ends: What if no one signed Bonds next year?



Very nice… how much?

We’re trying to ignore it as much as we can but Barry Bonds is inching closer to Hank Aaron’s homerun record and he’ll likely break it next season if he decides to play. Well, today, the owner of the Giants said that he’s going to delay making a decision on Bonds until the end of the season. Now, it’s unlikely that the Giants won’t resign him if Brett Favre Barry Bonds wants back in but what if… what if the Giants didn’t resign hi and nobody else in the league stepped up. That’s one way to end his home run chase.

In other news…

[ebay]: ebay fun: dress worn by Jose Lima’s wife up for auction. “It is 13” across at the bust. Obviously, there is considerable stretch and give in this material.”

[Deadspin]: Remember the SNL skit saying you could hire the Black Eyed Peas for your bar mitzvah? Dead on. Is there anything these guy won’t do for a buck?

[Railbird Central]: Hey look, a record crowd got to see how washed up Brett Favre is. (Yes, we realize that’s the second shot at Favre this post.)

[The Hater Nation]: Holy crap, Brenda Warner doesn’t look like a man anymore… sorta.

[There’s your Karma Ripe as Peaches]: Mrs. Manning is not doing her son Peyteypie any favors

Categories
College Football

Tidbits From The Tailgate: Beware of Road Warrior Animal

1.  Beware the progeny of “Road Warrior Animal”.

Who can forget the song “Iron Man” blaring in the background as “The Road Warriors” hit the ring to pound on two chumps?  They were without a doubt the most physically dominating tag team in wrestling history.  And now…..the spawn of “Animal” is arguably the best defensive player in the country.  Lost in the story of Ohio State’s whipping of Texas was the game James Laurinatis had.  Animal Jr. registered 13 tackles (10 solo), 2 forced fumbles (one of which Ohio State recovered to stop a sure Texas score), and an interception.  I like Troy Smith, but he was not the best Buckeye on the field.  Just a true sophomore, Laurinatis has a chance to be better than A.J. Hawk as Hawk was not nearly this good this early in his career.  

2.  So that’s why you’re going #1 in the NFL Draft.

Brady Quinn shredded the Penn State defense on Saturday afternoon.  It was like an 18-year-old coming back from college to put a whipping on his 7-year-old younger brother in a game of pick-up hoops.  Quinn ended up with 287 yards, three touchdowns, and the Heisman vote of everybody who tuned into the clinic he provided.  

3.  That’s right….I’m from Boise, Idaho.  I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m pretty good.

Apparently everybody who votes in the AP and USA Today Coaches poll skipped the Boise State-Oregon State game on Thursday night, because Boise State was unjustly left out of the polls.  Ian Johnson was spectacular as he ran for 240 yards and five touchdowns.  How Pac-10 schools missed the sophomore running back is a complete surprise.  All I can assume is that in high school he was like Rachel Leigh Cook in the beginning of “She’s All That” and that now at Boise he’s the version of Cook with the glasses off and the low-cut dress on.

4.  OK, I’m done screwing around this time.  I promise…..

This goes out to Florida State who almost followed up on their win over Miami with loss against Troy.  Down 17-10 in the fourth quarter, Florida State had to rally to win 24-17.  Had Troy pulled the upset it would have been the biggest shocker since Brian Worth improbably advanced to the Final two on “Average Joe 2” and came within a hair of scoring Larissa Meek (an absolutely raging hottie).

(On a sidenote, people forget about how utterly incredible Brian Worth’s run on “Average Joe 2” was.  He went from basically never having touched a girl to making out with a supermodel.  Toss in that he seemed like a genuinely nice guy and it was just a stirring month of television.)

5.  If it’s any consolation, you sirs definitely have a set of balls.

To Air Force for going for two and trying to win the game against Tennessee in regulation.  I love the call even though it failed.