We’re not sure what kind of racing this is. It’s like 1930s funny car or something but this guy is an idiot.
We actually thought the first clever(?) “Tony Homo” reference would be at a game at the Meadownlands or FedEx Field but it’s hit the internet first. Welcome to TonyHomo.com!
Sam Madison picks off my, otherwise flawless, pass, tip toes his way outta bounds. One foot in. Two feet in. Shit. Three feet in. Four. Okay stop showing off, dickface, I get it. Five Feet in. I wanna puke.
…So this is it. My first of many blog entries. I think it’ll keep me entertained and alive… I know I’ve got pretty much nothing else to live for. I hope you stick around.
Oh, and as for the name, TonyRomo.com was taken, so I just chose this one. Also, that faggot stole my starting job.
(Thanks to FlashWarner.com for the link.)
Not to be outdone by the NFL and their “Take a Player to School” contest, MLB.com is offering you the chance to take Darryl Strawberry to school for an appearance of up to one hour.
This auction features the opportunity to have Darryl Strawberry come to YOUR school! The winning bidder of this auction will have the chance to have New York Legend Darryl Strawberry attend your school for a special appearance for up to an hour. Strawberry will also give a short speech to your school on valubable life lessons. Don’t miss out on this rare opportunity to have a super star like Daryl Strawberry come to YOUR school!
The opening bid was $250 and the current bid is… $260. Just for the sake of Strawberry’s self esteem, people better start bidding up this auction. (Remember, this is a guy who once told a judge he’d lost the will to live.) For a guy who used to make millions, if the price people are willing to pay for his appearance is less than what you’d take out of an ATM before a big Saturday night…. man that’s just sad.
You know you were a terrible NFL player when someone will go out of their way to keep you out of congress from a state they don’t even live in.
This site is dedicated to keeping Heath Shuler out of Congress, and therefore out of Washington, DC. No, we are not residents of North Carolina’s 11th District, nor could we pick it out on a map (it’s up in the mountains, right?). No, we aren’t working for any of Shuler’s rivals. We simply are Redskins fans and we love the city of Washington. And quite frankly, both are better off since Heath left town, and we don’t want him back.
Stopshuler.com has facts about Heath Shuler — completely irrelevant to his congressional campaign — but they make a very good point in saying that Washington DC is a much better place without Heath Shuler and should stay that way.
And of course, this is politics so why stop at a website when you can create your own television attack ad.
Sometimes you start to question whether God has a sense of humor and then a story like this happens. From OnMilwaukee.com:
According to police, a 21-year-old female alleged that she and Sprewell were having consensual sex Tuesday aboard his yacht, “Milwaukee’s Best,” when Sprewell began to strangle her. Police allegedly observed red marks on the woman’s neck.
This story is hilarious and disturbing on so many levels. First if you’re Latrell Sprewell, shouldn’t you just stay away from anything involving choking? Second, what if Spree was just trying to hit on PJ Carlesimo? And finally, what moron names his yacht after one of the worst beers in the world?
[On Milwaukee]: Exclusive: Latrell Sprewell being investigated for sexual assault, choking
A real American hero
The folks over at Bad Idea Blue Jeans have dug up a Yankees questionnaire response from Mickey Mantle that, if authentic, would be the most hilarious response to a company survey ever. It sounds like it should have been a Seinfeld episode with George trying to cover up the response.
Mantle was asked to reminisce about his playing career for the 50th anniversary of Yankees stadium in 1973. Under “I consider this my outstanding experience at Yankee Stadium”, Mantle wrote:
I got a blow-job under the right field bleachers by the Yankee bull pen.
It was about the third or fourth inning. I had a pulled groin and couldn’t fuck at the time. She was a very nice girl and asked me what to do with the cum after I came in her mouth. I said don’t ask me, I’m no cock-sucker.
Mickey Mantle is the best Yankee player ever.
If you compare the signature on the questionaire and an actual Mickey Mantle signature (or here), it looks like it could be the real deal. Although it sounds more like something Charles Bukowski would write.
At the end of halftime in Sunday’s Titans-Saints game, T-Rac, the imposing racoon mascott of the Titans ran his golf cart into Saints backup QB Adrian McPherson. McPherson was treated on the field and walked himself into the lockeroom.
Jeff Fisher said he tried to contact Saints coach Sean Payton to apologize but has not reached him. Reports are McPherson is OK and won’t miss any playing time so his Saints teammates are laughing their asses off. This is definitely not something you want as the highlight of your NFL career.
[Tennessean.com]: Inquiries possible after T-Rac crash
Apparently a song making fun of Zidane’s headbutt called Coup De Boule is at the top of the French music charts. The song has sold 60,000 copies and 110,000 ring tones. Of course, it is also wildly popular in Japan, where weird pop phenomena go to die. And with this, we are done with Zidane coverage for eternity.
In other news…
[Sportsline]: NBA changes playoff seeding format
[Chicago Sports]: NCAA looks into more bans in S.C. for confederate flag
[Reuters]: Gatlin’s masseur denies sabotage
[SI]: Embarassing moments in baseball history
[eBay]: Bidding for Barry Bonds #715 ball at $137,500
Sports director Chuck Howard of WCNC in Charlotte resigned because he used the word “shit” in a taped segment even though he retaped it. There was a goof up and the original segment was broadcasted. Still, that pales in comparison to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays broadcasters who had their mics on during a commercial break and was heard on MLBTV making fun of the Yankees PA announcer and talking about hot chicks in the stands like Shannen Doherty. It’s good to know that those guys do exactly what we do at a baseball game… except, you know, thousands are listening.
In other news…
[AZ Central]: FIFA institutes bans for racism
[Off Wing Opinion]: Hasek Returns to Detroit
[Inside Bay Area]: NFL narrows field for commissioner to 5
[ESPN]: This could be the end of Priest Holmes
[True Hoop]: Nut Punching 101 with Bill Walton
[Thunder Matt]: Bruce Sutter finally gets into the HOF
[New York Yankees Update]: ABREU LETS A-ROD BE A-ROD