all-other-sports
When we decide to bring you bowling clips, there are really only three types that can even make the cut. We can bring you some loser impressing himself with a little trickeration:
Or we could bring you some in-competition perfection:
Or, we could just show a guy who is way too sloshed to be renting lice infested shoes:
We never thought we’d say this, but round up the fellas and a suitcase of Bud. We’re going bowling!
The Juice was at it again as he got arrested on Sunday on chargers of robbing sports memorabilia from an auction house that was setting up shop inside of a Las Vegas hotel. Apparently, OJ showed up to the room with some thugs under the guise that they were customers, but according to Bruce Fromong, another collector inside the room, those were not Simpson’s intentions.
The door burst open and they came in almost commando style, O.J. Simpson and some of his people, I guess you would call it, with guns drawn,” Fromong told ABC’s “Good Morning America” Monday. “O.J. at that time was saying, ‘I want my stuff. I want my stuff.’
“The thing in my mind as soon as I saw him, I’m thinking, ‘O.J., how can you be this dumb? You’re in enough trouble.”’
Fromong said Simpson later left him a voice mail message telling him some of Fromong’s things were “mixed up” with his and asking how he could give them back.
OJ claims that he was simply trying to get back items that were stolen from him. Things are still being sorted out, but Simpson was charged with two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon and conspiracy to commit a burglary with a firearm on Sunday night. He could be facing up to 30 years on each robbery count if he’s found guilty.
Oh, but it gets better. Leave it to TMZ.com to unearth the audio of the Juice’s holdup in which a voice believed to be Simpson is heard shouting “Don’t let nobody out of this room,” and “Motherf***ers! Think you can steal my s*** and sell it?”
To be fair though, Fromong said that he never saw a weapon or felt threatened by OJ at any time, but two guns were seized by police during their investigation. We don’t know what the heck Simpson was thinking with this stunt, but we’re thrilled that everyone walked out of the hotel with their heads still attached.
Links:
[WAVE3.com]: Audiotape released of sports memorabilia dispute involving O.J. Simpson in Las Vegas
[TMZ.com]: O.J.’s Alleged Robbery – Caught on Tape!
We’ve brought you plenty of crazy `sports’ in the past; some of `em were pretty cool, some of `em were complete wastes of time, *cough**cough*finger jousting*cough*. But we think we might have hit another homer with the discovery of our latest favorite pastime. So, without further ado, we bring to you BallBall, or, as it is more commonly known, “the sport for idiots.” While we couldn’t agree more with the catchy moniker, we also can’t wait to give it a go.
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[Seal Clubbers]: This Is Gold Jerry! Gold!
We know that people are in an uproar over the way Michael Vick treated murdered dogs, but about when some coach gets his kicks out of humiliating little kids. Sure, it’s not the same as electrocuting `em or having them rip off each other noses for his own personal amusement, but this guy should still probably get a good ferret leggin’ for his actions.
Curt McKinney is the whack job in question and he’s the `responsible’ adult in charge of coaching a little kid’s football team in Cincinnati. Well, McKinney got pissed off at 10-year-old Aucherae Washington during practice on Friday because the little guy didn’t adhere to the specifics of running up and down a hill. Oh, but kicking off the squad didn’t satisfy Coach Curt; nope, he made the kid strip down to his underwear and walk home.
The boy said his coach berated him in front of the other players.
“‘You’re too slow for the team, you’re no good for the team,'” Aucherae said the coach told him. “He told me to take off my stuff and give it back to him, and he said, ‘While you’re at it, take off my pants.’
Boy, if we had a dollar for every time someone has told us that. But seriously, like the sickos who attend dogfights there were plenty of idiotic spectators who just sat around and watched this all go down. In fact, there were parents looking on who apparently never kicked this guy’s ass or even bothered to say a word. Don’t worry; we got enough ferrets to go around. What’s makes matters even worse is that the coach denies doing anything wrong and the football league won’t suspend him because he hasn’t been charged with a crime. Pathetic.
As for the kid-o, he eventually walked to a neighbor’s house to get some pants because “he didn’t want cheerleaders to see him in his underwear.” Boy, if we had a dollar for every time that’s happened to us.
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[WAVE3.com]: Coach cuts 10 year old, forces him to walk home in underwear
We’ve known for some time now that wrestling can beget a little butt hole penetrating `prank’ or two. Or maybe they’re legitimate moves, what the hell do we know? We try to keep our anuses away from other peoples’ fingers at all costs. But now we’re finding out that the anal rapes have jumped into the hallowed high school football locker rooms of America. Okay, maybe not all of them (at least we hope not), but these disturbing behaviors did infest Donna High School in Texas and now the victim is suing the school district and his former coaches for turning a brown eye to the problem.
Four players were indicted on charges that they participated in 2004 and 2005 in holding down the younger players and trying to insert a gloved finger into the anuses of the victims.
Each has since pleaded guilty to lesser charges or arranged separate punishments with prosecutors.
The lawsuit claims the district maintained customs and policies that encouraged hazing and neglected to investigate complaints of abuse.
It seeks unspecified “punitive” damages.
Hey, while this totally sucks, uh …, ass, at least the bastards were limiting themselves to “a gloved finger” when it came time to go mud digging. Some sick people will just rape you with the first thing they can find.
Links:
[ABC13.com]: Former player sues school district, coaches over sex hazing
We love seeing those goofballs at ESPN make fools of themselves. Actually, we love anyone who publicly humiliates themselves for our amusement, but we really love when it gets on-air. And even though this clip is hella old, when we saw this lady on ESPNEWS blurt out the mother of all bombs during a highlight clip, we knew it was going to be a good day.
True story: Robert Flores actually got his job at ESPN following a messed up package on a local news station that ended with a curse word. He redid the package without cursing, but some behind-the-scenes moron actually played the wrong tape the next morning and his mistake ended up costing Flores his job. Oh, well, he’s probably a little happier where he is now. Sorry, Danyelle, but in your case, there’s nowhere to go but down.
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[The Big Lead]: Old? New? Always Funny.
Call us losers if you want to, but we have absolutely no idea who these guys are or why we should give two flips about em. However, we do like the way the nerd with the glasses and the lisp thinks.
Could it be fake? Possibly. Probably.
Do we care? Not in the least.
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[Off Wing Opinion]: Don’t Try This At Home
Pacman Jones isn’t playing in the NFL this season, but that doesn’t mean he’s not still ballin’ because Mr. Jones is now wearing TNA gold after winning the tag team championships.
In a title bout against the then champs Sting and Kurt Angle, Pacman showed his selfish side by refusing several attempted tags from his partner Ron “The Truth” Killings. Of course, once Angle did all the dirty work by turning on Sting and hitting him with the Angle Slam then Pacman got busy and simply covered Sting for the easy 1-2-3.
Yea, we’re as shocked as you that Team Pacman came up with the gold, after all it’s basically a one man show with Killings doing all the heavy lifting. What’s worse is that in addition to not being able to wrestle thanks to restrictions placed on him by the Titans, Pacman totally sucks being behind the mic.
So, he can’t wrestle and he can’t shoot the crap to the fans; how the hell is he gonna be a wrestler worthy of carrying any professional title? Oh well, looks like we’ve got another Hulk Hogan on our hands. Maybe commissioner Goodell would cut some time off that suspension Pacman’s serving if he’d just start pushing prayers and vitamins.
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[TNAWrestling.com]: Official Results From Sunday’s No Surrender PPV
We make no secrets about it; we just love watching guys crumple in pain after a perfectly placed shot to the nuts. Then we found out that there is an entire sport dedicated to our passion. It’s called Groinball and it’s got rules and everything. At least the YouTube description says it does.
And all these years we never realized that by trying to whack little Timmy from down the street in the package with a racquetball we were really on the verge of creating sport. With just a lil’ more innovation, we could have been these losers. Damn!
If you’re anything like us then you just loves you some tennis. And if you just loves you some tennis then you probably already know all about the comedic genius of one Mr. Novak Djokovic. He’s basically the Rich Little of the ATP. Well, he was at it again following his easy win at the U.S. Open on Thursday.
Even if a movie about tennis starring Will Ferrell came out, we don’t know if it could be funnier than ol’ Novak doing his best Maria Sharapova.
