Category: College Football

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College Football

The Biggest Damn Dork In The Land

College football is just around the corner and everyone is beginning to wear their team colors proudly in anticipation of the upcoming season. But you’ve got your normal fans and then you’ve got your SUPER fans whose life’s mission is to honor their chosen university. Shawn Swick is one of those SUPER fan kinda guys.

Swick loves The Ohio State University so much that he turned one of his rooms into “The Best Damn Room In The Land” by recreating the hallowed Horseshoe with a room size mural that took 10 gallons of paint and one year to complete. The Buckeye freak says that he just loves the team and thought the idea was pretty cool.

Believe it or not, some people think that the room is completely stupid and this guy is off his rocker. No, really?

I’ve gotten responses saying this is a waste of time. This is a waste of money. I don’t really care,” Swick said.

So, really cool or really embarrassing; you be the judge:

We vote embarrassing.

Links:

[10TV.com]: Check Out `Best Damn Room In The Land’

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College Football

Joe Paterno shows his age, again


Joe Paterno is pissed off about a brawl involving several of his players back in April and now he’s ready to throw down some punishment. And considering that Joe Pa is 80 freaking years old, you know that he’s gonna go old school with his discipline and come up with something that requires sweat and sacrifice. So, what did he come up with? Why community service, of course.

Involved in his all-for-one and one-for-all punishment is a team commitment to work with the Special Olympics and Habitat for Humanity. But the fun doesn’t stop there for his Nittany Lions because the old fart has also masterminded the idea that his team will clean the entire stadium on every Sunday following Penn State home games. Happy Valley just got a little sadder for the 2007 team.

We had kids involved in something that was embarrassing, and I think we ought to prove to people that we’re not a bunch of hoodlums,” Paterno said.

“Obviously, I’m probably going to have to keep one or two of them out of a game and drop one or two on the depth chart. And then whatever (university officials) think they have to do, they do. I want to do something where the whole team kind of says, `Hey, we’re all wrong, let’s go.’

This might sound a bit strange for a big time college football program but, then again, we’re talking about Joe Pa here. The guy can basically do anything he wants at that university and until he eventually croaks on the sidelines, nobody is gonna stop his anti-Bobby Bowden approach.

Links:

[KansasCity.com]: Paterno disciplining entire team, for entire season

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College Football

Dear PETA, leave our sports alone


Nothing sucks harder and more frequently than PETA. It’s fine when they throw red paint on vapid celebrities and going after people who train dogs for fights, but when they start trying to tell sports teams what to do, that’s when they need to be clubbed like a baby seal. (What’d I say?) Their latest foray into being annoying jackasses is to petition LSU to get rid of its live tiger mascot.


Dear Chancellor O’Keefe:

We are writing to express our sympathy over the death of Louisiana State University’s (LSU) mascot, Mike the tiger, and to urge the school not to replace him. Big cats in captivity are denied everything that is natural and important to them, such as the opportunity to run, climb, hunt, establish their territory, and choose their mates.
…
Costumed human mascots are currently in use at most universities, and no major professional sports team includes live animals in its mascot program. The versatility of human performers allows them to interact directly with fans and entertain them throughout the game by leading cheers, reacting to the crowd, and pumping up the team. A frightened animal can’t do any of these things.

Meanwhile, the tradition at LSU of having a live tiger goes back 71 years and the tiger gets to live in a 15,000 square foot $3M home with a bathing pool and a waterfall. Man, that sounds terrible. LSU officials have told PETA to go pound sand.

Links:

[ESPN]: LSU likely to ignore PETA, obtain new tiger mascot

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College Football

UCLA just lost the rivalry to USC

We’re completely neutral on the whole UCLA vs USC thing they got going on down in SoCal. On the one hand, the Trojans football team and their Song Girls are top notch and always make our day. On the other, UCLA is a better academic school with phenomenal bball cheerleaders and (until last year) basketball dominance.

But this picture from the Wizard of Odds squarely puts us in the USC camp from now on. It’s a goddamn travesty that anyone approved this… this… something with Sanjaya from American Idol in UCLA jersey and dancing in front of a fake 1980s graffiti mural that says UCLA. The look on this kid’s face basically means that no UCLA student or alumni can ever claim to be cool again.

Can the UCLA brass sue for defamation of character? Just look at the mohawk in UCLA colors! If this was our alma mater, we’d be up in arms.

Video of UCLA’s biggest fan after the jump.

Continue reading “UCLA just lost the rivalry to USC”

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College Football

Two Michigan football players in minor drug stop


According to the Monroe News, two Wolverines were in a car that was pulled over by Michigan State Police last week.


Sources said a small amount of marijuana and tablets of Vicodin, a painkiller, were found in the car. A passenger in the car apparently told police at the scene that he had a legal prescription for the Vicodin, but it was not in his possession.

Two other people in the car had the marijuana, according to sources.

The traffic stop occurred on a midweek afternoon last week, while the three were heading south on US-23 near Ida West Rd. in Summerfield Township. The car was stopped for a traffic violation.

…
Lt. Burnside said the traffic stop and investigation were handled as they typically are. No arrests were made because the amount of marijuana in the car was small.

“They were released, not because of who they are,” Lt. Burnside said. “I can’t think of anyone going to jail based on those circumstances.

We don’t want to be accused of being false rumor mongerers but a source familiar with the situation (hey, if ESPN can use those “sources”, so can we) told us that one of the players was Mario Manningham. Well, Mario, if this recent draft has proven anything, it’s that smoking pot has no effect on your draft position so, by all means, partake. Just cut it out before Goodell gets a hold of you.

Links:
[Monroe News]: UM players implicated in traffic, drug stop

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College Football

Odds and Ends: Six Penn State Football players charged with felonies



Anthony Scirrotto leads the charge

Six Nittany Lions football players were formally charged this afternoon for an off-campus brawl that happened only April 1st. All six players were charged with felonies but Anthony Scirrotto and Chris Baker are facing the more serious charges of burglary and simple assault. The other four players (Justin King, Jerome Hayes, Lydell Sargeant, and Tyrell Sales) are charged with criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, and harassment.

You can read the whole police report (pdf)but here’s what basically happened: 1) Scirrotto and his girlfriend were involved in an altercation on the night of March 31. 2) Instead of calling the police, Scirrotto called Sargeant. 3) Sargeant called up some other players and they barged into an off-campus part and two of the players started kicking ass. From the police report, it sounds like a couple of the players were trying to get Scirrotto and Hayes out of the situation but it was way out of control. Still, they are being charged with trespass and disorderly conduct because they shouldn’t have been in a private residence to begin with.

No word from Joe Pa yet on the incident but we get the feeling he’s not going to pull a Bobby Bowden and let these guys off the hook easily, season down the drain or not.

In other news…

Washington Times]: Gilbert Arenas will be the next NBA live cover boy

[700 Level]: Ooooh. Maybe there’s a new Subway Sanwiches curse?

[Professional Cheerleader blog]: Raiderettes lineup announced. We are unimpressed.

[AP]: See? the WNBA is just like the NBA: Deanna Jackson arrested for slugging an opposing player in Jeruselem

And finally, everyone who jumped all over Ron Artest for neglecting his Great Dane owes him an apology. It turns out that he did arrange for the care of “Socks” while he was out of town and that the weight loss was due to a bone infection. Speaking of dogs, this is the saddest story we’ve read all day… remember, all dogs go to heaven.

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College Football

Odds and Ends: Florida Gators boosters are doing a poor job


You’d think that a national football and college basketball championship would have the Florida boosters in fine form. But this story about a robbery is an excellent example of how they are just dropping the ball:


On Saturday, a UF student was taking kegs out of his truck when [five] men approached him. One 6-foot-4, 280-pound man attempted to steal his keg, cutting his neck in the process, according to the report. The cut was 5 to 6 inches long, the report states, and it appeared to be the result of a fingernail or ring.

The suspect was a Gator football player who had to be restrained from attacking the victim a few times by four of his teammates. Look at the travesty here. Why does a Florida Gator football player feel the need to rob a man of his keg? Shouldn’t the football players have unlimited access to the local beer distributor? After all, they are champions! For shame, Gator boosters, for shame. (Hat tip: Loserwith socks)

In other news…

[Fish stripes]: Dontrelle Willis pitches as his wife prepares to give birth

[Deseret News]: Andrei Kirilenko and Jerry Sloan just lost in translation

[Ben Maller]: Tigers Sean Casey comes home from a road trip to find his car on cinder blocks at the airport

[The Offside]: A book sheds more light (eccchhhh) on Wayne Rooney nailing a 48 year old grandmother/prostitute

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: Toriiiiii Hunter almost suspended three years for giving champagne

[Lopez@Large]: Yao Ming needs a strong postseason to define his legacy

[WBRS Sports]: The Orioles to offer groupies free mustache ride

And finally, if the Kansas City Royals adopted the My Name is Earl scratch and sniff episode promotion, would it just smell like garbage?

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College Football

Colorado State makes the news for all the wrong reasons

Some people say that all press is good press, but the athletic department over at Colorado State might disagree with you on that. First, there was the incident involving wide receiver George Hill and 4-year-old Caden Thomas over the weekend. The boy was on the sidelines during CSU’s spring youth football festival while an intrasquad game took place on the gridiron. In an attempt to catch a TD pass, Hill smashed into the kid and slammed him against the padded wall. To make a long story short; 30 stitches in the head later, lil’ Caden was sent home from the hospital.

It was kind of scary `cause I got bonked by the football,” the boy said, hugging his own football. “It kind of hurted.

Here’s video of Caden getting walloped.

Now, that’s a tough kid. Kellen Winslow Jr. would have been out of commission for six weeks after a hit like that.

But, hey, accidents happen; at least everything worked out for the little guy. Something that was avoidable and has the Colorado State community hiding their faces in disgust was the actions of Xavier Kilby. Kilby is accused of pointing a gun at the head of Ronnie Aguilar, a teammate on the basketball team, early Sunday morning. According to police, Kilby pulled out a revolver after the two argued inside of Kilby’s apartment. After pointing the gun at Aguilar’s head, Kilby aimed at the couch and fired off a single round.

Luckily, nobody was injured in either of the recent black-eye incidents for CSU. Now it they could just become capable of doing as much damage on the field as they do off of it, then the fans of the sports programs could actually having something to cheer about.

Links:

[1.WHDH.com]: Boy recovering after run-in with Colorado State football player
[MSNBC]: Police: CSU player pointed gun at teammate

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College Football

How NOT to support Virginia Tech


Last Friday April 20 was Orange and Maroon Effect Day across the country. What normally is a day where VT students and alumni don their school colors to show support for their athletics teams became a nationwide event where students from other schools also sported the Hokies colors. Great idea right?

Well, yes, unless you decide to rob a bank while wearing orange and maroon.

Robert Kirk Newton walked into a First Citizens bank in Carolina Beach, North Carolina and handed the teller a note demanding all the money. The teller gave him $2500 and a red dye pack in a paper bag. The red dye pack exploded right away and the police caught Newton within minutes on the Fort Fisher-Sourthport Ferry.

We can’t tell from the photo but we hope the red dye didn’t stain his shirt — that would have totally ruined his tribute.

Links:
[The Smoking Gun]: What A Maroon (And Orange)

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College Football

South Carolina fans are Cocks

Harriette Folkers use to be a Clemson fan until her family convinced her to side with South Carolina, but after attending the USC spring football game she might change her mind and start rooting for the Tigers again. The possible change of heart has nothing to do with USC’s on-field performance on Saturday, and it’s not because Steve Spurrier wants to pull the confederate flag off the pole. No, Folkers is pissed that some jerk at the game stole her ride.

Folkers has a degenerative bone disease in foot that caused doctors to amputate it two years ago and while she was enjoying some helmet knocking some fool yanked her wheelchair that was folded and put out of the way by her section’s entrance. Police searched the stadium but there was no trace of the missing wheelie.

Leave it to a Gamecock fan to swipe some lady’s wheelchair; what’s next? Is some old man going to get his walker stolen while he’s in the can? Did this chair grabbing douche even consider how important that chair was to the owner? It just might have been the chair that was destined for stardom on ABC’s newest show “Dancing with the Handicapped Stars.”

Links:

[WISTV.com]: Woman converts to following Gamecocks; wheelchair disappears at USC spring game