Anyone that is familiar with Jerry Jones knows that he’s a crude, shrewd business man who will do whatever he believes is right in order to improve his team. Of course, his tendency to delve into matters which should probably be handled by the coaches of the team has rubbed some lots of people the wrong way over the years. But forget everything you’ve ever known about Michael Jackson Jones because we just found out that he can cut a serious rug!
We’ve only got one thing to say to that, “HOW `BOUT THEM COWBOYS!”
In Dekalb, Illinois, at least nine people were injured when a monster truck that was performing stunts on a closed section of a downtown street lost control and drove into the crowd on Thursday. Apparently, the truck was driving over cars and such in an attempt to promote a local auto parts store when the driver lost control. Several of those who were hurt were children, but the driver managed to escape the wreck without injury (imagine that).
Links:
[KARE11.com]: Monster truck crashes into crowd of spectators
Around 300 suckers volunteers spent about half an hour on Wednesday walking around Cleveland Browns Stadium with the sole purpose of flushing all 1,500 toilets and urinals. Man, talk about a crappy job! Apparently, there was a massive leakage problem during a recent concert at the stadium that left the Browns’ locker room completely flooded. After hunting around for the problem, officials discovered that some plastic valves within the toilets were not working correctly which caused them to overflow. However, now that the problem has been fixed and the flushing test was successful, the stadium is ready to host the NFL preseason game between the Browns and Chiefs on Saturday.
We’re glad to hear that there are willing citizens to make sure that all the deposits made in the stadium’s bathrooms go down and not out of the toilets, but we were totally disappointed to hear that the Browns basically raped them for their services.
Volunteers received a bag of chips and soda, and they were given a chance to walk around the stadium.
We know that this was on a volunteer basis, but c’mon! At least give `em a cheesy t-shirt or a signed Brady Quinn picture. Hell, we won’t even flush our own toilets for less than a No. 5 combo meal from Burger King.
Links:
[NBC4i.com]: Browns Stadium Toilets Repaired, Pass Flush Test
So, have you ever wondered what it’s like to be an NBA superstar in the waiting? If you’re pretending to be Greg Oden, it’s probably not what you’d expect. Surely you’ve heard about LeBron James’ multimillion dollar mansion that is currently in the works; well, this is just a couple steps down from that. But, hey, everyone has to start somewhere and we’re guessing that it won’t be long until Oden breaks ground on his very own humble abode that will have LeBron and the rest of the world saying, “Daaaaamn!” Until then, it looks like he’s going to be eating Cookie Crisp and watermelon in this cramped little apartment.
Thanks for sharing, Greg!
Links:
[The Big Lead]: Greg Oden, Cribs (Well, His Mom’s Apartment, Anyway)
We know that there are a lot of people out there who will jump all over any opportunity that presents itself in order to make a quick buck. That’s why we’re reserving judgment on whether Skip To My Lou spits or swallows. But sometimes you can just tell when someone is trying to abuse the system and cash in a virtual lottery ticket by taking a celebrity to court. Like when somebody waits 18 months after the fact to file a lawsuit.
A woman who was involved in car crash with a sloshed Eddie Sutton last February is now suing both Sutton and Oklahoma State University on the grounds that Sutton was negligent for getting behind the wheel and turning the key and that OSU was negligent because they allowed him to get behind the wheel and turn the key. Now, Sutton was absolutely out of line as he got popped with a .22 blood alcohol level which, for all you lightweights out there, is close to three times the legal limit which is pretty impressive for an old dude. So, while she’s a bit slow on getting around to taking him to court, we’ll let is slide and see what the judge has to say, but we have no clue how this broad expects to tag the university with responsibility for the wreck. If you can sue employers for employees’ behavior outside the work environment then Pacman Jones’ exploits would have put the Tennessee Titans out of business long ago.
Apparently pulling down Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen in one off-season just isn’t enough for the Boston Celtics and now they are attempting to coax the greatest 3-point shooter in league history out of retirement. Celtics GM Danny Ainge has been talking to Reggie Miller about joining the All-Star squad for a run at the franchise’s first championship since some guy named Larry Bird was suiting up.
It looks like Ainge is going to follow in the footsteps of the late 90s/early 2000s Portland Trailblazers who tried to simply stack as much talent as possible onto that roster. It almost worked for the Blazers but an incredible Game 7, furious fourth quarter comeback by the Lakers in the West Finals was capped off by a Kobe Bryant to Shaquille O’Neal alley-oop and the rest is history. The opportunity to play another season and possibly go to his second NBA Finals has to be tempting for Miller, but, then again, only working one day a week while pulling down some excellent TV money is a pretty sweet gig in itself.
And before anyone starts saying that Miller has to come back because it will be his best chance at a title, don’t forget that Mark Cuban tried to recruit Miller to the Mavericks and he turned them down. Now, we all know about the horrible collapses by Dallas in the past couple of postseasons, but Miller would have been on an extremely competitive team who is always at the top of the list for possible title contenders. That’s something that Boston can’t be labeled as…yet. Anyways, we gotta figure that Miller is flattered, but he’s probably going to pass on the offer. After all, would you give up a chance to hang out with the Chuckster every week in exchange for running your 42-year-old body into the ground? And if he does say no, Ainge could always ask Reggie’s big sis to lace `em up.
Links:
[KCCI.com]: Celtics Shoot At Acquiring Reggie Miller
Soccer players are no different than the rest of us…actually, they are because most people can resist the urge to pick up a skanky hooker on the street corner. After all, she is a skanky hooker on the street corner! Unfortunately for the Half Moon Bay soccer team, eight of their players had no such self control when recently visiting Springfield, Oregon for a tournament.
Apparently, there was a ho that they just couldn’t take their eyes off and when they approached her, it turned out that the prostitute was actually an undercover cop. D-oh!
It is a shame that we have this many people coming down, looking for love in all the wrong places,” Springfield police Sgt. Rich Charboneau said. “We’re going to continue doing these (stings) until our numbers are down.
While we would like to focus all the humiliation onto the soccer dudes, we’ve gotta admit that lots of other people got busted for the same thing in the same sting over the weekend. In addition to the eight players, 20 others were arrested for misdemeanor prostitution solicitation charges with the youngest being 19 and the oldest being a wrinkly 75.
We’re not surprised by the behavior of these guys at all and, in fact, we’re a little relieved. After all, it’s a helluva lot more normal than how this futboler decides to get his kinky kicks.
Links:
[CBS5.com]: Half Moon Bay Soccer Team Nabbed For Prostitution
Just to show you how unique and individual the world of sports is, not only are you allowed to punch people repeatedly in boxing, crush their bodies in football and deliver some vicious hits in hockey, but apparently you can now dress up like a jackass and virtually run over a professional baseball player and receive absolutely no penalty! At least, the Mariner Moose got off the hook after his little stunt on an ATV went wrong and almost put Red Sox outfielder Coco Crisp on the shelf. But, hey, no harm, no foul, right?
The Mariners are very sorry about this unfortunate incident. We apologized Sunday to both Coco Crisp and the Red Sox, and they were very gracious about accepting our apology,” Tim Hevly, the team’s director of baseball information, said Tuesday night.
“There will be no punishment for the Moose,” Hevly said.
In case you haven’t seen the attempted crippling accident, here’s the whacky footage:
Never really gotten hit by a moving vehicle before. That was the most athletic thing I did all day,” Crisp said after the game. “It was an accident. I mean, I’m not going to run over and clothesline the guy.
Damn, Coco, we really wish you would have. Of course, if the shoe was on the other foot and the mascot got `accidentally assaulted’ then you’d be dealing with a money hungry Moose and a lawsuit. And nobody wants that.
Links:
[KOMOTV.com]: Mariner Moose escapes punishment for Sunday mishap
We’re exactly one year away from the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Beijing Olympics and hopefully you can’t wait because in 365 days NBC is going to absolutely bombard you with coverage. How does 3,600 hours in two weeks sound to you? That’s more U.S. air time than all the previous Summer Games received combined!
Most of the coverage will be on the internet (2,200 hours to be exact), but the Olympics will be available for your television viewing pleasure almost anywhere you decide to click: NBC, USA, MSNBC, CNBC and even Telemundo. And despite the half-a-day time difference between the States and China, NBC will still show events like swimming, gymnastics and beach volleyball live.
We’re thrilled about the upcoming games! Hell, once the Olympics roll around, we even get excited about ping pong. Our only hope is that someone put an end to that ridiculous idea of skateboarding becoming an event. Sorry, but we just can’t stomach anymore of the Flying Tomato.
Links:
[AZCentral.com]: NBC eyes 3,600 hours of Olympic coverage
Angels Stadium is being overrun by rats! That’s right, county health officials have handed out 118 vermin violations over the past two and a half years! In fact, just days ago the stadium failed health inspections as it was discovered that a kitchen was full of coach roaches and a concession stand had a problem with rats.
We realize we have an issue at Angel Stadium,” said Richard Sanchez, the agency’s director of environmental health. “We’re stepping up enforcement.
But by the sounds of things, they stadium’s operators really only have themselves to blame for the nasty infestation. These morons don’t bother cleaning the stadium after a night game until the next freakin’ morning! That means that garbage just sits in the stands, kiosks and kitchens from 10 o’clock at night until 6:00 a.m. and that’s on a good day. Many times the trash doesn’t get picked up for more than 12 hours; talk about a completely unnecessary and disgusting public health risk.
When asked why the stadium isn’t cleaned immediately following games, the vice president of communications for the Angels responded with, “That’s a great question and that’s something I can’t answer.” So, considering that they have been completely blind and ignorant to this issue for the last couple of years, we’re going to assume that “stepping up enforcement” is really code for “we’ll try not to serve our customers actual fried rats.” Regardless, we’re going to be smuggling our peanuts and Cracker Jacks into the game from now on.
Links:
[CBS2.com]: Oh, Rats! Rodents Found In Angel Stadium
[OCRegister.com]: Rat infestation at stadium
Volunteers received a bag of chips and soda, and they were given a chance to walk around the stadium.
