Author: clay

Categories
Houston Rockets

Skip To My Lou claims he’s not a spitter


Rafer Alston was arrested on charges of misdemeanor assault and public intoxication on Sunday in Houston for allegedly getting into a war of words with a parking lot attendant after Alston’s car was towed. Alston was also accused of grabbing, shaking and spitting on the attendant during the altercation. Apparently, his car was illegally parked and he didn’t pay which tends to get under the skin of most parking lot guys from our past experiences.

On Monday, Alston was outta the slammer and he was not to happy about his unscheduled detour from the big ballin’ lifestyle and says that he was falsely accused and arrested.

We got into a shouting match. My car was towed and I was basically asking the parking attendant where he had my car towed to,” Alston said in a story on KRIV’s Web site. “There were no hits, nothing transpired. The guy runs off and yells down the street, like, he needed an officer over here. Before you know it, the officer puts me in cuffs and takes me downtown.”

“I asked the guy what was I being charged with and he said public intoxication and assaulting someone, and I said, ‘I am neither of those,”‘ Alston said.

We’re not quite ready to sentence Skip To My Lou to a ferret leggin’ just yet over the supposed saliva slinging; after all, parking lot dudes don’t usually have the sunniest dispositions in the first place. In fact, we can totally see how this has the possibility of being a case of a nobody trying to get some free cash from a somebody. While we going to hold off on labeling Alston as the next Roberto Alomar, we are going to figure that the public intoxication charge will probably stick. After all, at 1:45 a.m., there’s not much reason for a pro athlete to be out and about other than getting blitzed.

Links:

[MSN.FoxSports.com]: Rockets’ Alston: `I am neither of those’
[Chron.com]: Rockets’ Alston calls report of assault exaggerated

Categories
Atlanta Falcons

Michael Vick still has a few products out there


We knew that it wouldn’t take long for Michael Vick bashing merchandise to start hitting the shelves of stores across America. And, frankly, we love the creativity of all those timely entrepreneurs. While there are some very, very clever t-shirts out there (our personal favorite being Even Hannibal Lecter is against dogfighting), our award for wittiest novelty goes to the inventor of The Official “Vick” Dog Chew Toy.

Yup, for just $10.99 plus $2.00 shipping and handling, you can give your dog the satisfaction of gnawing away at Michael Vick’s gigantic replica head for days on end. Of course, if it’s anything like the overpriced crap we buy for Fluffy at Dogs-R-Us then it won’t last an hour after getting pulled outta the box. Then again, one hour of repeated bites to the torso might be all it takes for some canines to feel a sense of retribution. But according to the creators, the toy is virtually indestructible.

Is it different you ask? You bet it is! The Vick Dog Chew Toy is made of state of the art “dog” material. The Vick Toy Doll is so strong and flexible, it will challenge even the most aggressive breeds. Especially The Pit Bull.

Unlike Vick, our manufacturer is so sure of its durability they guarantee it against the most aggressive dog destruction. It Bends. It Bounces. It Flies. It Floats. And best of all, it lasts through the whole season and more!

Get Your Official Vick Dog Chew Toy today!

Count us in because you had us at appalling dog murderer.

Links:

[VickDogChewToy.com]: The Official “Vick” Dog Chew Toy

Categories
All Other Sports

Bas Rutten opens up a can of comedic whoop ass

Have you ever been sitting in a bar and just thought about all the different ways you could kick somebody’s ass if the crap really hit the fan in a drunken brawl? We hadn’t either until we came across this awesome video of MMA legend Bas Rutten and his sweet self defense techniques.

Rutten really is one of the greatest MMA teachers of all-time so, if Bas says “Dangety, dangety, dang and a heel to da balls” then that’s exactly what we’ll do.

Categories
NFL General

The Hall of Fame finally welcomes in a hankieless Michael Irvin

We know that getting inducted into the Hall of Fame is the pinnacle of any professional athlete’s career, so we can completely understand why players get a little emotional at times.  Well, to say that Michael Irvin got a tad teary eyed during his induction speech would be an understatement.  

Many people are saying that it was one of the most inspirational, touching, motivational acceptance speeches in the history of the Hall.  We’re not going to go that far because, frankly, we couldn’t even pay attention to the words coming out of his mouth with all the snot coming out of his nose!  Damn, couldn’t someone hand Irvin a Kleenex?  This is one of those rare times when ESPN HD is a bad thing.

Categories
Indiana Pacers

Jermaine O’Neal is basically banging on Jerry Buss’ door

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past year or so, Jermaine O’Neal wants to get the heck outta Indiana soon.  And of course, he wants to play on a team that can contend for a championship.  After all, Kevin Garnett is finally getting a solid shot at a ring and taking postseason suckers like Paul Pierce and Ray Allen along with him.  But, unlike Garnett who remained quiet and pessimistic about being traded, O’Neal is letting the whole world know that he wants to be wearing the purple and gold next season.

I love L.A.,” O’Neal said. “I normally train here every summer. The last two summers I haven’t trained here because I got hurt, but I love it here. My daughter loves it. My wife loves it. This is one of the prime places that if I were to be traded, I would allow Indiana to trade me here.

Hmm, sounds like he loves L.A.  But the biggest selling point about L.A. is Kobe Bryant and O’Neal didn’t forget to start buttering up the bitter superstar with hopes of rings and “missing piece” dreams.

I think Kobe’s in a position right now where he understands that he needs some help,” O’Neal said. “He needs some help to get to the position where he wants to be. I think he’s the best player in the NBA and the world, but obviously no player can do it by himself. He has a nice group around him, but he needs some help and I can give him some support.

Of course, O’Neal has to be healthy in order to contribute which is something he hasn’t been able to do over the past several seasons.  However, O’Neal is claiming to currently be at 100 percent.  And just to be sure that he didn’t put all of his eggs in one basket, O’Neal lobbed up a distant second choice as he gushed over the Lakers.  

Los Angeles and New Jersey would be my top two teams,” O’Neal said. “I think L.A.’s a real possibility and I think New Jersey’s a possibility too.

What, no New Jersey lovefest?  

Links:

[SI.com]: California dreamin’

Categories
All Other Sports

Pacman Jones is headed to TNA

Its official! Adam “Pacman” Jones has signed the dotted line with professional wrestling promotion TNA and will be making his premier appearance this Thursday at 9 p.m. ET.  So, despite the controversy surrounding Pacman, as if that’s something new for the cornerback, it sounds like he’s really excited about the new opportunity that’s growing out of his rotting NFL career.  But, we’re not sure if Pacman knows exactly what he’s getting into because it seems like he’s a bit confused on how the squared six-sided circle works.

I am a big fan of wrestling, so I wanted to give it a try,” Jones said. “I respect wrestling and I’m not coming in like it’s just a show. I want to prove that I am the greatest team-sport athlete.

We know that they put on tag team bouts in TNA, but we can’t see it really improving your stock as “the greatest team-sport athlete” by participating.  After all, lots of pro players have walked through the doors of TNA and, unfortunately, none of them are of GOAT status.  And anyways, we know that the only thing he’ll be working out is his vocal chords.

Over the next couple of months, I think the world is going to see a different side of Pacman, one it hasn’t seen before,” Jeff Jarrett (Pacman’s trainer) said. “You will really see his personality come out, not just his athletic ability.

Hey, Jeff, just a word of advice: work more on the athletic ability because his personality is what got him in trouble in the first place and is the exact reason why people hate him!  

Links:

[TNAWrestling.com]: Adam “Pacman” Jones Signs Contract With Total Nonstop Action (TNA) Wrestling

Categories
Detroit Pistons

Flip Saunders was just 20 yards from bridge as it collapsed


Detroit Pistons coach Flip Saunders revealed on Thursday that he was about 20 yards form the I-35W bridge that collapsed on Wednesday in Minneapolis. Amazingly, it was construction that saved his life as the entrance ramp to his normal route was closed, forcing the Minnesota native to take a detour.

I usually take the 35W bridge, but the ramp was closed,” Saunders said Thursday from Minneapolis in a telephone interview with the AP. “My daughter was driving in a car right behind me when the bridge collapsed — about 20 yards away from us. It
sounded like a bomb when it dropped.

“I got out of my car, and the first thing I heard was the kids screaming on the bus. I called 911. I didn’t really know what else I could do.

Saunders was driving to his home after making an appearance at Tubby Smith’s basketball camp which was being held at his alma matter, the University of Minnesota.

A day later, I’m still in a surreal state of mind,” he said. “I can still see what happened. It’s kind of like having flashbacks.

Links:

[NewsObserver.com]: Saunders avoids bridge collapse

Categories
San Francisco Giants

Barry Bonds gets rolled by sushi restaurant


As everyone knows by now, or at least everyone should know by now, Barry Bonds is just one home run away from tying the great Hank Aaron at 755 on the all-time list. There is virtually nobody outside of the San Francisco area that wants to see the suspected doper grab the record and one Colorado sushi joint, Hapa Sushi Grill, actually decided to let their opinion on Bonds be known in a half-page ad that ran in Thursday’s edition of The Onion.

Congratulations Hank Aaron on 755 home runs.” At the bottom of the page, the ad continues: “Organic beef and chicken, no added steroids

And if a half-page jab isn’t enough insult for your taste, full-page ads were run in a pair of Boulder newspapers on Friday. According to the founder of the restaurant, Mark Van Grack, it’s simply a way to encourage people to avoid fast food and eat his delicious and nutritious sushi.

Think about what you’re doing. Be healthy. You don’t need steroids do something great, as Hank Aaron did,” he said of the message.

C’mon, we know that this ad wasn’t released to promote the nutritional benefits of sushi, but rather to further humiliate the huge headed Bonds. While this isn’t as clever as throwing a giant syringe onto the field, we give the guys some extra credit for taking their insults national with this ad. Thanks for sharing with the country.

Links:

[FoxNews.com]: Sushi Joint Takes Dig at Bonds

Categories
All Other Sports

We never said that skateboarders don’t have guts; however, brains might be another story

While we’re not real big on skateboarding or the whole X Games scene, we gotta admit that we were blown away by this clip. Apparently, the X Games have an event called Big Air where competitors go racing down a gigantic ramp, jump a huge gap and then go hurtling up another ramp in order to gain as much air as possible on the second jump. Sounds like fun, right? Wrong.

Jake Brown found out the hard way after he pulled off a pretty nifty 720 over the gap, but ended up losing control on the second ramp which left him looking at a free fall from close to 50 feet in the air!

Amazingly, Brown walked away under his own power and was taking to the hospital for evaluations. Brown even received the silver medal in the competition. It’s not too often that you can get a medal for nearly splattering like a cantaloupe at the bottom of a ramp.

Categories
Soccer

Another little kid gets labeled as the next big thing

Not too long ago, we brought you the story of Cody Paul who had been dubbed by The Commission as a “white Reggie Bush” at the tender age of 8 (though there is speculation that he could be much older). Well, Manchester United was sent a DVD of 9-year-old Rhain Davis by the boy’s grandfather and after they witnessed the little boy’s mad soccer skills they immediately snatched up the kid that’s being labeled as the next Wayne Rooney (and being Wayne Rooney is a very good thing from what we can tell).

While it’s a little odd that they would actively pursue someone based strictly on a video, apparently it’s a common practice to recruit kids this young in an attempt to develop their skills. In fact, United claims to get a hold of about 40 kids a year who are Davis’ age. Who knew?

Manchester United is proud of its history of developing talented young players, and invests considerable time and resources into trying to find the best young players of the future,” the club said in a statement.

So, here’s the video that landed Davis the opportunity of a lifetime.

Sorry, Cody, we’d like to say that the Miami Dolphins are calling you up to minicamp, but you gotta stay on top of your game and avoid injury for at least another ten to twelve years before your big break might come a knockin’. Damn, those bratty little soccer kids really do get all the perks.

Links:

[TheStar.com]: Man U recruits 9-year-old after YouTube audition