On Monday afternoon, Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson was just chillin’ outside a train station in London, waiting on a ride, when some bum named Kevin Reynolds started staggering towards him. Right when he was probably getting ready to tell the that bum he didn’t have any change for his booze, the drunken bastard punched him right in the nuts. On Wednesday afternoon, Reynolds was in front of judge and plead guilty to the random genital punching.
The court was told that Ferguson thought the man staggering toward him was a beggar. Instead, Reynolds punched him and said: “I’m sorry Fergie, I did not know it was you.”
Reynolds then allegedly chanted “Fergie, Fergie, shut your mouth” – a soccer chant common in Scotland.
The court was told that Reynolds had consumed half a bottle of vodka and several beers before the attack.
Thanks for saying that you’re sorry for the crotch shot, but is that really going to help Ferguson with his “soreness and tenderness” downstairs? The jerk could get up to two years in the slammer for his drunken junk jab. But if that gets you two years, what the hell does something like this get you?
Oh, and Fergie, be glad you weren’t in Oklahoma.
[FoxSports.com]: `Fighting drunk’ pleads guilty to assault