Author: clay

Categories
General Sports

Video of Tony Parker shooting and scoring with Eva Longoria hits the web


Tony Parker and Eva Longoria aren’t even six months removed from their holy union, but that doesn’t mean that the consummation cam isn’t watching.

Rumors are flying that the Spurs point guard and the Desperate Housewives bombshell are starring in a movie together; unfortunately it’s not the kind that you hold a premier for in Hollywood. Yup, supposedly the duo were captured in the act and the video has made its way to the web.

Listen, The Sun, we’re trusting you on this one. You’d better not be messing with us.

Rumors have been rife on the web that the saucy video exists and contains intimate scenes featuring the Desperate Housewives beauty and her NBA star hubby Tony Parker.

If the tape is genuine, it is tipped to become the biggest sex tape unearthed since Paris Hilton’s One Night In Paris.

Latest reports from the States suggest the video HAS made its way online, but only on paid for sites.

As exciting as this news is for the male population of the planet, we really have no idea why celebrities feel the need to tape themselves. After all, if you tape it, it will be leaked. We can understand why some tramp like Hilton or Kim Kardashian would do it, they want the exposure. But we’re talking about Eva friggin’ Longoria here; she doesn’t need this. Anyways, she should have learned her lesson from Tony about how shooting a video can turn you into a laughingstock.

Links:

[The Sun Online]: `Eva Longoria’ sex tape on web
[The Superficial]: Eva Longoria has a sex tape

Categories
All Other Sports

Peewee football parents are making K-Fed and Britney look like the Cleavers


Just when we thought you couldn’t get any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally demean yourself!

Parents never cease to amaze us with their complete stupidity when it comes to their kids and sports. We all know about the `overbearing baseball dad’ and the `crazy soccer mom’ and now we know about `umbrella-wielding football parents.’

Two people were arrested and another man was hospitalized after a fight that involved at least 15 people at a youth football game Saturday.

The fight occurred when a parent of a child on the losing team struck a parent from the winning team with an umbrella, Lacey police officer Roland Sapinoso said.

The fight broke out at about 3:30 p.m. in a practice field next to South Sound Stadium after a game between two Black Hills Youth Football teams made up of second- through fourth-graders.

The president of the Oregon football league, Chuck Farrar, had some incredible insight when he told reporters that the people who started the brawl were parents “who took a game of second- through fourth-graders way too seriously.”

That Chuck, he’s got some great observation skills. He must have learned from this video how to pick up on subtleties like that.

Links:

[TheOlympian.com]: 2 arrested in fight at youth ball game
[KIROTV.com]: Brawling Parents Banned From Future Football Games

Categories
College Football

If you thought that Bobby Knight was a sore loser…

There were a ton of upsets in the world of college football this weekend, but we’re guessing by this clip that nobody had a worse Saturday (or Friday in the case of Mountaineers fans) than the Florida die-hard. Wait, let me rephrase that: nobody had a worse Saturday than this Florida die-hard.

One word of advice before you hit the play button: Earmuffs.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: So Gators Fans, How Do You REALLY Feel?

Categories
General Sports

LeBron James got showed up on SNL

If you’re anything like us then you probably don’t watch Saturday Night Live anymore. However, we will tune in when sports figures are bestowed the hosting duties for the week. So, when we heard that LeBron James was going to host the season premier of SNL, we made sure to set up our DVR. Unfortunately, Kanye West stole the show.

After the show, Kanye proceeded to call out LBJ for winning the Eastern Conference Championship, claiming that it was his album that went crazy against the Pistons in Game 5.

Categories
Boxing

Evander Holyfield wants to KO the Forman Grill empire


For all the older readers out there, you probably never thought you’d live to see the day when George Foreman was selling a miniature grill on television. Well, believe it or not, but George has been pushing that thing for almost 13 years now! So, it’s about time he got some competition in the countertop grilling market.

Evander Holyfield thinks he’s going to be the guy to knock Forman out of the market altogether with his “Evander Holyfield Real Deal Grill.” Sounds good and all, but, Evander, how is your grill different and better than the “Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine” that’s been sitting in my kitchen since Christmas of ’99?

I’ve got a George Foreman grill. It’s a good grill,” Holyfield, 44, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “But don’t you think the latest grill is supposed to be the best grill?

Umm, you might want to work on your promotion campaign a little bit more if you want to get anywhere close to the $100 million worth of grills Foreman’s sold over the years.

Oh, wait, it sounds like someone has already gotten their hands on the former champ and his product.

Manufacturer CirTran Corp., based in Utah, approached Holyfield about promoting the $99 grill after he appeared on the TV show “Dancing With the Stars” in 2005. Holyfield dons an apron in a 30-minute commercial that began airing last week describing his product’s culinary and health benefits.

Now, we haven’t seen the ad yet, but we heard that Mike Tyson makes an appearance and raves about they way he perfectly grilled a human ear with Evander’s machine.

Links:

[MiamiHerald.com]: Holyfield takes on Foreman Grill

Categories
General Sports

Local TV station screws up the Kevin Everett story. Big time.

Listen, we know that people make mistakes. We’re no different, we’ve had our share of blunders, but this just isn’t right.

“That is not the right video.” Geez, you think. Was it the courtroom that gave it away?

And in case you were wondering, the Kevin Everett imposter is an interesting fellow to say the least.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Kevin Everett Can Move His Legs And Is Kicking Cops

Categories
Cincinnati Bengals

The Bengals are not big bird lovers


With a 1-2 record, the Cincinnati Bengals fans a putting up with a lot of crap. But the poop that’s been being produced on the field each week is the least of fans’ worries.

Eric Brown is the managing director at Paul Brown Stadium and he’s asking the city for permission to kill crap-dispensing pigeons with an air rifle! PETA should love this.

Apparently, the stadium is having a problem with the birds taking dumps anywhere and everywhere in the stadium: on people’s heads, in their food, in their $85 beers. They’re remorseless. Heck, these birds will probably even let one rip on the great Carson Palmer if they get a chance.

Brown is saying that he wouldn’t be hunting pigeons on game days. What, no `bring your pellet gun to the game’ day?

The Bengals used to be able to scare the birds away with noise, but the little critters are immune to the sounds now. Now officials are turning to other ideas, besides slaughtering `em all, and thinking about using strobe lights, noise makers, fake owls and netting to solve the problem. We’re guessing that any of those are going to go over better than just going on a shooting spree.

But, we say just embrace the birds. Maybe Ocho-Cinco can work them into one of touchdown celebrations. We suggest that he goes for an Ace Ventura tribute theme.

Links:

[SI.com]: Stadium wants to shoot pigeons

Categories
All Other Sports

Is anybody drug testing these mascots? Sure seems like roid rage to us

By now you’ve probably seen the fight between Donald and Shasta. Well, you can consider that to be the undercard, because we had another incident of mascot misbehavior.

Coastal Carolina and James Madison hooked up on the football field last week and then Duke Dog and Chauncey the Chanticleer hooked it up on the sidelines.

Said Coastal freshman Andrew Moore: “He was belligerent. He was trying to get our mascot.”

As the Duke Dog resisted, police dragged him off the field and into a stadium tunnel.

“They ripped off his head,” JMU junior Brad Tephabock said. “They slammed him against the wall.

Ripped his head off? Who do these cops think they are? Michael Vick.

Apparently, people in the stands started yelling “Don’t tase me, bro” as security pulled the two apart. Classic.

Links:

[Washington Post]: Duke Dog Decked in Mascot Furfight

Categories
Golf

Didn’t your mother tell you not to swing that thing indoors?


Marc Warren isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he sure did get sliced up when he decided to practice his golf swing inside of his hotel room. Apparently, he was in some real swanky joint that had a glass chandelier in the room. You see where this going, right?

The Scotsman said he tried a practice swing with a 5-iron in his room Thursday night and hit a glass chandelier which smashed into pieces over him.

Warren was taken to a hospital where he received stitches for a deep cut in his abdomen. He also had minor cuts on his arms and head.

“There was plenty of blood and a towel I held to my stomach was covered when I arrived at the hospital,” Warren said. “But the only thing that hurt was the scratch on my head. I feel fine about playing today.

At least the guy is back in action today in the Seve Trophy tournament. He might be a dumb gamer, but he’s still a gamer.

Links:

[Local10.com]: Fore! Golfer Swing Shatters Chandelier

Categories
Detroit Lions

Roy Williams is a member of The Tiger Woods Frugal Foundation


Besides being good for a few spectacular plays a game, Roy Williams is also known for being rather forthcoming in his opinions. He’s never had a problem with telling like he thinks it is. Of course, he’s had to eat some crow over some of his comments. We’ve heard him talk about how prolific his offense was even when it wasn’t and it appears that he’s even rubbed off on his quarterback who is now guaranteeing ten victories this year.

While we love hearing players talk football, which he did in this radio interview, we really love hearing the behind the scenes stuff. Like how Williams freely admits that he’s a cheap bastard.

On being cheap: I am cheap, I’m a cheap date. Get you some McDonalds, with some cheese on it and I’m just really cheap, man. I’m very low key, I like to stay home. I like to go bowling on Monday nights and I go to the casino every once and awhile. Other than that, you won’t see Mr. Williams out at all.

On what he plays at the casino: I’m a craps and blackjack guy. I like to throw the dice a little bit. If that doesn’t work out, I’ll take it to the cards.

You do tip the pizza guy? There’s no such thing as a tip. But I am really polite and I say `Thank you sir.’ … The pizza man knows, when he comes to my address, he’s coming for free.

If you’re on a date and she wants to go to a nice place, what do you do? I might just take her to the casino and get her a free buffet. If I did take a date out to a nice place, I’d take her to a nice place, like a Red Lobster or something. It wouldn’t be Morton’s or nothing like that.

Hey, the way we see it, Roy just totally up’d our stock on the meat market. If a millionaire says there is no such thing as a tip and Red Lobster is considered “a nice place,” then we’re pretty much the most eligible bachelors in town.

Links:

[Freep.com]: Roy Williams comments on the Bears and why he doesn’t tip the pizza guy