Categories
Houston Rockets

The Rockets mascot goes on a scaring spree

Normally, when bears attack it ends with blood, guts and the detachment of body parts. However, when the Houston Rockets’ mascot attacks, it ends with laughter. For us, that is.

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Categories
MLB General

Mascot gets decapitated on the diamond

If you thought telling your kids the truth about Santa Clause was difficult, just wait until you have to explain this one.

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Even after the fall, he is still more professional than Benny the Bull.

Categories
All Other Sports

Giant, inflatable mascot makes spring break hell for drunken students

If you think that college kids are the only people who enjoy spring break then you’re just foolin’ yourself. Mascots need to cut loose sometimes too. And by cut loose, we mean be a prick.

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Categories
Boxing

Odds and Ends: Zab Judah perfects the backhanded bet


Boxers are a confident breed and they just love to talk trash. Zab Judah is no different, so he decided to open his mouth and actually bet Shane Mosley a nice chunk of change that he would knock him out in their upcoming fight on May 31. Don’t worry, the bout is going down in Las Vegas.

That’s free money,” Judah said. “If he’s so confident and so much in shape, then why didn’t he take it? The last time I put a $100,000 bet on the table was against Corey Spinks. What did I do? I knocked him out.”

Mosley declined. But this is what’s great about boxing. Any other sport and Judah’s suspended; here, he’s celebrated.

In other news…

[10,000 Takes]: Gopher blasts hockey ref.

[The Big Lead]: Like father, like son.

[BucStats.com]: Herm Edwards Is Bitter.

[Skate 2 Stick]: Gordie Howe is old!

[Charlotte.com]: So, how’s your bracket holding up?

[The Professional Cheerleader Blog]: Magic cheerleaders do their magic on a trampoline.

[WISTV.com]: Another wrestler gone before his time.

[WSMV.com]: When Pacman and the Playmaker get together you know it’s going to be good.

[KARE11.com]: High School assistant coach tries to have a beer party with his athletes.

[Freep.com]: 20% drop in NFL crime over last year. Just wait; Pacman’s back.

Categories
General Sports

Job swap day is the most awkward day of the year

Let’s see; how do we put this? Not everyone has the necessary heart and desire to be Vili the Warrior; especially Stephanie Lum. Likewise, not everyone should be informing the public on the day’s newsworthy events; especially Vili the Warrior.

Links:

[The Wizard of Odds]: There’s Only One Vili the Warrior

Categories
All Other Sports

Is anybody drug testing these mascots? Sure seems like roid rage to us

By now you’ve probably seen the fight between Donald and Shasta. Well, you can consider that to be the undercard, because we had another incident of mascot misbehavior.

Coastal Carolina and James Madison hooked up on the football field last week and then Duke Dog and Chauncey the Chanticleer hooked it up on the sidelines.

Said Coastal freshman Andrew Moore: “He was belligerent. He was trying to get our mascot.”

As the Duke Dog resisted, police dragged him off the field and into a stadium tunnel.

“They ripped off his head,” JMU junior Brad Tephabock said. “They slammed him against the wall.

Ripped his head off? Who do these cops think they are? Michael Vick.

Apparently, people in the stands started yelling “Don’t tase me, bro” as security pulled the two apart. Classic.

Links:

[Washington Post]: Duke Dog Decked in Mascot Furfight

Categories
Pittsburgh Steelers

Pittsburgh Steelers fans already hate the team’s newest member

There’s been tons of news coming out of Pittsburgh this preseason. The fake Ben Roethlisberger got sentenced to 90 days in jail and five years probation. The real Ben Roethlisberger hooked up with a hottie. Steely McBeam visited a children’s hospital. The team’s hotel demands got leaked to the press. Wait, WTF, who’s Steely McBeam??

Apparently we’ve been spending a little too much time in the gym (you should see our deltoids) and not enough time keeping up with our professional mascots because the Steelers got themselves a loser in foam outfit to call their very own. While Chuck Noll is probably rolling over in his grave, as Charles Barkley would say, we’re glad that the franchise decided to get a little more fan friendly. Unfortunately, their method involves a giant Muppet that looks like a yellow Lego and is named Steely freakin’ McBeam!

Luckily, the people of Pittsburgh are embarrassed about the whole fiasco and are already demanding that the mascot with an eerie resemblance to Bill Cowher has gotsta go. So, they’ve started a petition that will hopefully rid the earth of McBeam once and for all.

We the members of Steeler Nation, are now embarrassed. The name Steely McBeam is a terrible choice for naming our new mascot. It does not represent the toughness of our city or of our team. Look in the stands during a game and you will see we are our own cheerleaders and some fans are our own mascot. If it were up to Steeler Nation we would remove the mascot altogether, especially since it looks like Bill Cowher.

Those who have signed the petition below, would like the name to be changed by a vote by the fans, or have the mascot removed for good.

And you thought that Seattle was humiliated by their mascot.

Links:

[PetitionSpot.com]: End of Steely McBeam