In response to the question posed by Awful Announcing: a resounding no. Hamsters and laxatives and tree houses and pregnancy; it was all just nonsensical gibberish to us. To Mike Tirico, on the other hand, it was “hysterical.”
Hey, Mike; Steve Carell isn’t funny, but Michael Scott is.
Links:
[Awful Announcing]: Steve Carell On Monday Night Football
If there’s anything we’ve learned from our years of watching sports, it’s that it doesn’t really matter how hard you root for your team. What’s really important is how hard you root against the other guys.
So, before all you Red Sox fans start loading up on AL Champions t-shirts, you might want to divert some of those funds into your anti-Rockies gear. Jerseys, ringers, tank tops, tees, caps, coffee mugs: if you really want to cheer your boys to a ring then this is what you need. It’s simple, straight to the point and it sums up the feelings of an entire population.
You know, we thought that this was a pretty innovative idea until we started surfing around the site and realized that there’s a friggin’ t-shirt with every slogan imaginable. So, for all you Rockies fans out there, take solace in knowing that are plenty of shirts that bash the Sox in every way imaginable. Some of our favorites:
Buck Foston
Curse? You just sucked for 86 years.
And…
I would rather my sister be a prostitute then for her to be a RED SOX fan
Links:
[SawxBlog]: Get Your Rockies Suck T-Shirts Just in Time for the 2007 World Series!
Ever wonder what the best basketball players in the world are doing when timeout gets called? You might think that they’re focused on the Xs and Os being diagramed, but you’d be wrong. Apparently, they do the Soulja Boy; whatever that is.
Links:
[The Big Lead]: Baron Davis, Quite the Comic
You might think that NBA cheerleaders are just hot bodies gyrating in tight spandex outfits, but you’d be wrong. It takes a whole lot more than just a pretty face to make in the pros. These chicks are tough. Well, at least this Jazz cheerleader can take a wallop.
Wow, the last time we saw a member of the Jazz involved in a collision like that was when Karl Malone tried to decapitate Isiah Thomas in the early 90s.
Now that we know who the participants in the World Series are, the only question left is how the heck are getting into a game? Well, if we were the owner of a hole-in-the-wall Mexican food restaurant in Colorado then we’d offer up all the burritos and tacos we could spare. Kinda like this guy.
Ben Martinez is a huge Rockies fan and the owner of El Jardin Mexican restaurant in Commerce City, but he doesn’t want to pay scalper prices for tickets. So he’s making an offer for two free meals a week for one year at his restaurant for anyone who gives him two tickets to any of the games at Coors Field. Martinez said it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Two meals a week for a year at El Jardin or tickets to the biggest baseball event of the year? Hmmm, tough choice. We guessing that anyone with WS tickets is probably going to choose to spend a whopping $10.47 for a years worth of Taco Bell and keep the stubs instead of forking `em over to you and getting a clockwork case of Montezuma’s revenge for next 48 weeks.
Listen, man; if you want to go to the World Series then you’ve got to show more desire then just unloading a bunch of chips and salsa. That just isn’t going to cut it. Dare we say it; if you want to go see your precious Rockies then you’re going to have to go all out and pay Dr. Steve-O a visit.
Take a sledge hammer to the package or light your head on fire and then we’ll talk.
Links:
[CBS4Denver.com]: Restaurant Owner Offers Free Meals For Rox Tix
The NBA suffered a major blow when top overall selection Greg Oden went down for the year. Well, the injury bug struck again, but this time it went straight for one of the most pedestrian No. 3 picks in history. Yup, if you’re a fan goofy hair, bad moustaches and ridiculous Larry Bird comparisons then you might want to sit down for this.
Adam Morrison is probably going to be out for the year after an MRI showed that he has a torn ligament in his left knee suffered during a preseason game against the Lakers on Saturday.
“Until they get in there and do whatever they do, who knows? But they are saying there’s a good chance he will be out for the year. So I’m not counting on him playing,” Vincent added.
“I talked to him before the coaches and players meeting this morning when he had just gotten back from taking the MRI, and he pretty much knew the results,” Vincent said. “He’s obviously down.
And we all know about how emotional Adam gets about things. Don’t you remember his self-deprecating ad that ended with “More people should cry. And when I get to the NBA, more people will cry”?
Sorry to disappoint you big guy, but the only person crying after you hit the pros is Michael Jordan.
AKA: Charlotte’s Manager of Basketball Operations
AKA: The guy who wasted the Wizards first pick on Kwame Brown
AKA: The numbskull that made Morrison his pet project in Charlotte.
Links:
[AZCentral.com]: Bobcats’ Morrison likely done for season
You know how it is to be sitting around watching TV and eating microwave dinners when something just doesn’t feel right. You’re just not comfortable. You know what it is, it’s that damn underwear. So, what do you do? Well, you drop trou and finish off that Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes in comfort, of course. And now, tennis players are fighting for their right to go commando.
Yeah, we know, it’s pretty strange behavior, but it’s nothing compared to some of the stupid things that golfers do.
Most of you probably didn’t even realize that Miami played Florida State this weekend. We can’t blame you; who wants to watch a rivalry match between a pair irrelevant, mediocre teams when the SEC is handing out early Halloween goodies like South Carolina/Vandy, Florida/Kentucky and LSU/Auburn. Well, even if a majority of the nation was unaware of the match-up, that’s doesn’t mean the Seminoles’ 37-29 loss went unnoticed.
The big, bright red sign was mighty hard to miss sitting on the Bowden’s carefully manicured lush green lawn at one of the most prominent addresses in the capital city.
“It ain’t there now,” chuckled Bowden, who removed the sign. “I ain’t selling. I’ll save it for when I get ready to move.”
A prankster had placed the sign on the Bowden yard in the overnight darkness after archrival Miami defeated the Seminoles 37-29 with 13 points in the final 1:15.
Bowden said it reminded him of his days in West Virginia in the 1970s when he was once hung in effigy as well after a loss.
Don’t you people remember all the good times good ol’ Bobby made possible? Sure, he’s hit a bit of a rough patch recently, but throwing down a “For Sale” sign into his yard in the middle of the night is pretty cold. It’s not hanging him in effigy cold, but it’s still pretty frigid. It’s definitely on par with the cheap shot Glenn Dorsey got blindsided by.
Links:
[SportingNews.com]: Prankster puts `For Sale’ sign on Bowden’s lawn
We’re glad that there is still some fun and laughter left in bowling. After the infamous underground pug bowling scandal videos surfaced in April of `06, we weren’t sure if a game of Ten Pin would ever make us smile again.
We used to think that John Madden was a big dope for spending hours driving all across the nation in a bus instead of hopping on a plane and skipping from city to city. We used to think that Tony Kornheiser was a complete wuss because he basically injects himself with horse tranquilizers before boarding. Then we hear another horrifying in-air turbulence story and we realize that those two morons might be onto something.
The USC football team was headed to South Bend for their game against the Fighting Irish when the weather turned nasty and the plane went for a wild and unexpected detour. If USC football thought Vince Young was a bad dream come true, they were about to find out what real nightmares are all about.
USC sports information director Tim Tessalone told The Associated Press on Friday that some passengers were thrown from their seats by turbulence as lightning cracked around the storm-tossed aircraft about 9 p.m. Thursday.
“It was a little bit of a roller coaster drop there for a minute,” he said. “We had some people fly out of some seats. Everybody is fine, but it was a frightening little dip there.”
The pilot aborted the approach and circled around the storm before landing without incident about 20 minutes later to the relief of the shaken team and the spouses of some staff members also on the flight, Tessalone said.
Safety Taylor Mays said he was screaming.
At their hotel, senior defensive end Lawrence Jackson said he was going to see the team trainer because a Popsicle stick had pierced the inside of his mouth during the drop.
“That was terrifying,” fullback Stanley Havili said. “I thought I was going to die.”
Quarterback John David Booty said, “It wasn’t the worst flight I’ve ever been on, but it was definitely the biggest drop.
Lighting cracking, safeties bellowing, Popsicle stick puncture wounds, contemplations of mortality: it’s all real my-life-is-flashing-before-my-eyes type stuff. Granted, the doors didn’t come flying off the hinges, but it is still gripping narrative. But we gotta wonder, was this just a case of `wrong place, wrong time’ for the Trojans or is there really something to this whole “Touchdown Jesus” thing Notre Dame’s got going?
Links:
[MSNBC]: USC rattled by turbulent flight to South Bend
