Author: clay

Categories
New York Mets

Fat guy tumbles down stairs at Shea, crushes lady


Anybody who has ever been to a baseball game knows that fans are required to be active and aware at all times. You never know when a foul ball or even a bat could come flying into the stands. And you might want to even keep an eye on those crafty vendors who will try to sell you last week’s unsold hot dogs. But, the last thing any dedicated fan could possibly be prepared for would be a 300-pound monster of a man to come tumbling down the bleachers and blindside you while you enjoyed an ice cold brewski. Well, now you’ve been warned because that is exactly what happened to Ellen Massey during the Mets home opener on Monday.

I only know he came flying,” Massey, 58, said Wednesday from her bed in Jacobi Medical Center in the Bronx. “I was literally not able to breathe for about half-a-minute or so. The first thing I was aware of was not being able to breathe, and then when I was able to breathe I was aware of the pain in my lower back.

Luckily, Massey is a lawyer, so she’ll probably sue his fat ass if she ever finds him. The human cannonball got up and left the scene quicker than Michael Waltrip after he wrapped his ride around a telephone pole.

Massey is scheduled to have surgery on her back as a result of the incident and admits that she would have never expected anything like this to happen at her beloved Shea Stadium.

I have to say that in going to a baseball park, the only fear that has ever entered my mind is that I’d get hit by a hard ball,” she said.

“I didn’t expect a 300-pound human missile to hit me in the back. That doesn’t come up on my list of fears.

We’re wondering if it could have been this guy as he was taking a day off from his training to enjoy America’s pastime.

Links:

[NewsDay.com]: 300-pound man crushes fan at Shea

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: The Big Ticket punches out early


1. Could KG be moving on?
Kevin Garnett’s season is probably over after injuring his right quadriceps. The former MVP could be done with his Timberwolves club for good if Minnesota can parlay this move into few extra loses and a possible shot at a high draft pick. With only five games left on the schedule for Minnesota, the move probably won’t make a big difference in final standings but when Kevin Durant, and possibly Greg Oden, is available, it’s worth a shot. And even if the T-Wolves don’t pull out a No. 1 or No. 2 pick, they could always package Garnett with a top five draft pick and get a whole bunch of talent in return. The one thing that is clear is that KG’s body simply can’t carry the weight of an entire franchise anymore.

2. Celtics’ hide the Truth

But KG wasn’t the only superstar to have a late season injury bring about an early vacation. However, unlike Garnett, Paul Pierce will definitely not return to the Celtics lineup this year. After a sore left elbow had bounced Pierce back and forth between the active roster and the DNP designation in the box score, Boston management has decided to put an end to the on-again, off-again relationship and throw Pierce onto the shelf. Sure, Pierce could probably use the extra rest but don’t think Danny Ainge isn’t thinking about the extra ping-pong balls that could be coming his way. After all, Ainge was the one caught buddying up with Durant’s mom a while back.

3. Best draft ever?
David Stern came out and said that this upcoming class of college newcomers could make up the greatest draft class in history. Actually he said that “this may be the No. 1 or 2 draft of all time.” That’s a pretty lofty statement by the commish; which got us thinking if he could be right. Only time will tell if this year’s kids pan out, but it’s going to be awfully hard to top the classes of 1984 or 1996. Here are some of the ballers from those talent rich crops and their overall selections.

1984 – Hakeem Olajuwon (1), Michael Jordan (3), Sam Perkins (4), Charles Barkley (5), Alvin Robertson (7), Otis Thorpe (9), Kevin Willis (11), Michael Cage (14), John Stockton (16)

1996 – Allen Iverson (1), Marcus Camby (2), Shareef Abdur-Rahim (3), Stephon Marbury (4), Ray Allen (5), Antoine Walker (6), Kobe Bryant (13), Steve Nash (15), Jermaine O’Neal (17), and it should also be noted that Ben Wallace was available but went undrafted

Wednesday’s Player of the Day: Tim Duncan vs. Sacramento 35 min, 26 pts (FG: 11-14, FT: 4-9), 13 reb, 4 ast, 2 stl, 4 blk

Thursday’s Game to Watch: Los Angeles Clippers (37-40) @ Los Angeles Lakers (40-38) The Lakers and the Clippers both have a lot to prove in their gym. Of course, there’s the whole battle of Los Angeles thing and the bragging rights that come along with the victory, but more importantly there’s a possible playoff spot on the line. Currently the Lakers have it, but not by much as they have spent the last few weeks slip-sliding down the rankings and now sit just 2 ½ games ahead of the Clippers who are sitting just outside (½ game) of the playoff picture. Unfortunately the Clippers have been struggling just as much as their LA counterparts. But somebody has to win this game and when they do they will be standing on much firmer post season ground.

Buzzer Beater: This is the time of the season when the good teams get rolling and the crappy teams start folding. While we wouldn’t exactly call the Utah Jazz a crappy team, they are certainly folding like a house of cards down the stretch. The Jazz have now lost five games in a row and six of their last ten and they have basically handed the Rockets home-court advantage in the first round of the playoffs. But you can’t blame the point guard/power forward combo for the team’s latest loss. Carlos Boozer (19 points, 14 rebounds, 8 assists) and Deron Williams (18 points, 6 rebounds, 14 assists) both flirted with triple-doubles last night but couldn’t overcome a 54 point outburst by Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson as the Nuggets showed the Jazz the proper way to get into playoff form. Denver has now won seven straight games to make up for dropping three in a row.

Categories
Boxing

Top 10 Most Gruesome sports injuries: #4 Evander Holyfield

[Sportscolumn is running down the ten most gruesome sports injuries. Here’s #4]

Mike Tyson made was known for his brutal style and vicious power that made first round knockouts commonplace at one of his bouts. Iron Mike could handle his business with anyone who wanted to step inside the ropes with him, which is what made the infamous ear chomp of Evander Holyfield so bizarre. But hey, that’s what made Mike, Mike. He might knock your lights out or he might bite your ear off, nobody knew what to expect.

However, it’s safe to say that nobody expected Tyson to pull out his best Hannibal impersonation on June 28, 1997 when he took on Holyfield in front of a sold out crowd at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. But once it happened, those who weren’t either totally shocked or disgusted, began to riot and the madness spilled out of the arena and into the Vegas streets. Holyfield wasn’t seriously injured but his ears will never look the same after losing a giant chunk of flesh to Tyson’s choppers.

Tyson was suspended from boxing for the biting incident, but that didn’t stop the Tyson roller coaster from operating. But narrowing down Tyson’s whacky behavior would require an entire Top 10 list of its very own.

Back to #5 | Forward to #3

Categories
Golf

Odds and Ends: Zach Johnson gets the shaft


What more does a guy have to do to get some credit in the golf world? Zach Johnson comes from nowhere to rip the green jacket from Tiger Woods’ hands in a story that Disney would probably refuse because of a lack of authenticity, and Sports Illustrated puts a tree on the cover of their latest issue.

Are you serious? A tree! Of course, Tiger is standing behind the tree so apparently that justifies it to the fellas at SI. But if you notice, they did give Johnson a little bit of pub on the cover. Thanks for squeezing that in guys.

In other news…

[Our Book of Scrap]: Speed skating just made its way into the hearts of men across the country

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: All this over a free burger?

[KansasCity.com]: Jason Whitlock is on Don Imus’ side. No, surely not Whitlock.

[WFAA.com]: Michael Irvin will see your lawsuit and raise you one.

And finally, we all knew that there would be a movie about the rise and fall of Anna Nicole, but what we didn’t know is that a babe would play Anna. Looks like pop singer Willa Ford is the lucky winner of the role. Now she just needs to practice on her slurred speech and start fluctuating dress sizes like a white Oprah.

Categories
Chicago Bears

Devin Hester does his best Ozzy impression

Devin Hester might be the fastest man in Madden history but that doesn’t make him a good singer. But, like so many before him, Hester was asked to sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” in front of the Cubbies crowd and, like so many before him, he fell flat on his face. Here’s the horrific proof that Hester definitely belongs on the field and not in a recording studio.

Categories
NFL General

The NFL countdown has officially begun: 2007 NFL Schedule released



Well, almost everyone is
ready for some football.

After having the off season exploits of Pacman Jones shoved down our throats for the past few months, we can now turn our collective attention back to on-field issues because the head honchos over at NFL headquarters have finally decided to release this year’s complete schedule.

The season opens up with the Saints at the Colts on September 6 and ends with a Monday night double-header that is highlighted by a contest between division rivals as Baltimore and Cincinnati hook up for an early season, smack talking showdown. The NFC champion Bears will have to bounce back from a Super Bowl loss and be prepared to deal with LaDanian Tomlinson’s Chargers right off the bat. All in all, it’s a pretty solid schedule for the first week of the season, but after going without any helmet smacking for over six months, fans would be happy with a Texans/Raiders match-up.

The really juicy games come later in the season, like in Week 3 when last year’s rookie sensations Vince Young and Reggie Bush get together on Monday Night Football. Or in Week 8 when the league’s golden boys line up across from one another as Tom Brady travels to Peyton Manning, or perhaps you’ve heard of their teams; the Patriots and the Colts.

In Week 10 the Super Bowl MVP and the regular season MVP will battle it out as Indy goes to San Diego for a Sunday night primetime game. And the in Week 13, LT’s Chargers will take on another studly RB when they travel to Kansas City. But forget about the fireworks on the field, everyone is waiting for Joey Porter and Levi Jones to meet up on December 30 in the rematch of their Vegas fight.

Now that your whistle has been wet, just think, only five more months until the opening kick.

Full 2007 NFL Week by Week Schedule after the jump

Continue reading “The NFL countdown has officially begun: 2007 NFL Schedule released”

Categories
General Sports

Michael Waltrip will not be endorsing No-Doz


Michael Waltrip has been racing cars for some time now, but by the looks of things he really needs to brush up on his handling skills. And he might want to read over the North Carolina laws for operating a motor vehicle while he’s at it.

Waltrip claims that he fell asleep while driving to his home and was less than a mile from his destination when he slammed into a telephone pole on Friday night. Apparently, he lost control of his Land Cruiser on a turn and then rolled the vehicle after he overcorrected his error. There’s no report on if Waltrip lost control while turning left.

After climbing out of the vehicle, a bloody Waltrip left the scene and then never notified the fuzz about his accident. But, believe it or not, the coppers came across the flipped SUV a little while later and tracked Waltrip down. He was issued tickets for reckless driving and failing to report an accident.

I am really embarrassed about the accident, but I feel fortunate that I wasn’t hurt,” the two-time Daytona 500 winner said Tuesday.

“For 25 years I have had a great driving record. I consider myself to be a courteous and safe driver on public roads. I never expected to fall a sleep behind the wheel of a car.

Looks like Waltrip is going to stick with his “fell asleep at the wheel” story, but we have a sneaking suspicion that this is another case of celebrity DUI. Ty Norris, GM of Waltrip’s racing team, said that the reason Waltrip didn’t report the accident was because his cell phone didn’t work where the accident occurred, yet the accident happened just a mile from his house. So, even if his celly didn’t work he could have called from his home phone. Guess he just “fell asleep” on the way to the phone.

Links:

[Charlotte.com]: Waltrip cited after wreck
[FoxSports.com]: Waltrip charge after rolling car in accident

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: The NBA’s call was too sweet to resist

Kevin Durant has millions of
reasons to leave his coach
and school behind.

1. The NBA hooks Durant
Kevin Durant was only at Texas for one year, but that was all it took for the 6-9 forward to become the elite of the Big 12 Conference, as well as the NCAA. Now, Durant has made his intentions public as he threw his hat into the NBA draft pool with the worst case scenario being selected as a second pick. There is no way that Durant can improve on his current standing as the recipient of every major national award while he rewrote the Texas record books. The only question left is if the nation’s other freshman phenom, Greg Oden, will be joining Durant in the upcoming draft. If Oden decides to make the jump, he will probably be selected first by most teams based on his defensive potential, but don’t get fooled into thinking that only the sorry teams will have a shot a the young `ens. Plenty of franchises will be dying to put together deals for this year’s exceptional cornerstone pieces.

2. NJ has pieces, just not the passion

The Nets have got to be one of the most pathetic franchises in recent history. Despite having a starting lineup that is stacked with three of the most athletic players the league has and being in a position where they are close to losing their current playoff spot, the Nets can’t put away the injury plagued Wizards until 30 seconds remain in the game. But regardless of the aesthetic quality of the win, the Nets still came out of the contest with a much needed victory and can now breathe a sigh of relief as it looks like they have virtually secured a post season berth. But if NJ is having trouble putting away a demolished Washington crew, how are they possibly going to handle a healthy Detroit, Cleveland, Toronto or Miami club? Easy answer, they’re not.

3. Bonsai! Bonzi bails
Bonzi Wells left the Rockets high and dry on Monday night when he simply didn’t show up for the team’s road game against the Sonics. Wells reportedly didn’t want to be a further distraction to the team and basically bailed on his boys without even telling his coach what was up. “He’s not here tonight. I don’t know where he’s at. I haven’t talked to him,” Van Gundy said. “I want to make sure he’s safe first.” Don’t worry coach, the only danger Wells faced was a possible brain freeze as he lounges back with some ice cream and a remote control. Wells had been in the dog house all season because of his lack of fitness after he was expected to be the X-factor for the Rockets. But now, he’s just destined to be an ex-Rocket.

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Elton Brand @ New Orleans 45 min, 37 pts (FG: 15-23, FT: 7-9), 10 reb, 3 ast, 2 stl, 1 blk

Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Denver (41-36) @ Utah (48-29) The Nuggets have gained some late season momentum and are now rolling on a six game win streak as they prepare to unleash Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson on their playoff opponent. Utah on the other hand needs to grab a victory if they don’t want to be the victim of circumstance by winning their division but losing home-court advantage in the first round to Houston. The Jazz are the only team besides the Lakers in the West who are currently riding a losing streak. With four inexcusable losses over the past week, Utah is definitely due for a dominating performance and their 19-8 home record can only help their cause.

Buzzer Beater: Adam Morrison had a bit of a meltdown during the Bobcats 111-103 victory over the Heat in overtime on Sunday. But it wasn’t an on-court dumb decision that made Morrison look like a fool. No it was an on-bench hand gesture that got the rookie in hot water. Apparently some dude kept calling Morrison “white trash,” and eventually the cry baby, adolescent mustache sporting Morrison shot the bird to the heckler in the stands. The Charlotte big wigs fined Morrison $25,000 for his actions, but you can’t really blame Morrison for getting frustrated. However, you’d expect that he could handle the ribbing because with facial hair like his, teasing should be second nature by this point.

Categories
Golf

Odds and Ends: Zach Johnson is enjoying his 15 minutes


Must…look…comfortable.

Winning the Masters as an unheard of underdog has got to be the thrill of a lifetime, but reading a Top Ten list on the Late Show with David Letterman probably ranks as a close second for Zach Johnson. Last night Johnson made an appearance with Dave and proudly proclaimed the “Top Ten Things I Can Say Now That I’ve Won The Masters.”

10: I’m going to spend the prize money on Mountain Dew and beef jerky

9: I once beat a caddy to death with a 7-iron.

8: It’s so weird – before this weekend, I’d never broke 100.

7: The jacket’s okay, but I’m most excited to win the “World’s Greatest Golfer” key chain.

6: Even I’ve never heard of me.

5: If you like golf, you’ll love the sleek looks and smooth handling of the 2007 Volkswagen Golf Sedan — I just made 50 grand.

4: I just wrote down “3” for every hole. Nobody checked.

3: Maybe I can parlay this into an appearance on “Dancing With The Stars.”

2: It’s a magical week: first I win the Masters, and now I get to tell lame jokes on a third-rate talk show.

1: Thanks to global warming, next year I’m playing without pants.

Our personal favorite is No. 3 because it’s probably the truth. Hey, if Billy Ray Cyrus can make the show, then so can you Zach.

In other news…

[Sports by Brooks]: Oh no he didnt: Sports By Brooks says an outbreak of equine herpes in Hong Kong might scare away womens basketball players. That’s just not right.

[Seattle Times]: Former Seahawk Warren Moon arrested for DUI

[Gheorge: The Blog]: Kevin Millar does his best Ray Lewis impersonation (the dance, not being an accessory to two murders)

[Steroid Nation]: Australia wants to test school kids for steroids

[The Big Lead]: An Interview with Mike Vaccaro of the NY Post

[Awful Announcing]: The guy from Awful Announcing has lost his mind

And finally, we have two soccer stories from our favorite soccer blog, the Offside. First, Ronaldo will be on a episode of the Simpsons. The slim Ronaldo, not the fat one. Second, this David Beckham thing is out of control: Beckhams toilet paper.

Categories
College Football

Top 10 Most Gruesome sports injuries: #5 Willis McGahee

[Sportscolumn is running down the ten most gruesome sports injuries. Here’s #5]

In the 2003 national championship game between the Ohio State Buckeyes and the Miami Hurricanes, The U’s star running back Willis McGahee received a violent hit from Will Allen that bent his leg in the exact opposite direction from how it’s designed to bend. Nobody would have been surprised if the collision ended the young stud’s career, but he’s managed to return from the torn ligaments and has even made his way onto a winning Baltimore ball club after suffering in the Buffalo black hole for the past three years.

But, nobody was less impressed by the horrific accident than play-by-play man Keith Jackson who barely managed to spit out a “yep” after seeing McGahee’s knee get decimated. What, that wasn’t “Whoa, Nellie” worthy?

Back to #6 | Forward to #4