Author: clay

Categories
Buffalo Sabres

Top 10 Most Gruesome sports injuries: #1 Clint Malarchuk

[Sportscolumn is running down the ten most gruesome sports injuries. Here’s #1]

There’s no doubt that hockey is a brutal sport where anything can happen and blood on the ice is often more common than goals in the net. But there was nothing common about a March 22, 1989 game between the Blues and the Sabres. Buffalo goalie Clint Malarchuk was involved in the most nightmarish accident in the history of hockey as the Blues’ Steve Tuttle collided with Malarchuk at the goal and his skate accidentally severed the interior carotid artery of the goalie. Instantly, there was a massive pool of blood collecting on the ice beneath him and with every pump of his heart more blood would spurt from his gash.

I thought I was dying then, I really did. I thought I didn’t have long to live.” Malarchuk said. “All I wanted to do was get off the ice. My mother was watching the game on TV, and I didn’t want her to see me die.

And she very easily could have seen just that, but the doctors at Buffalo General Hospital didn’t let that happen as they repaired his severed jugular vein and he was amazingly released the next afternoon.

I didn’t go into any real shock. I think maybe if I had any shock, it was this morning,” Malarchuk told the press after being released. “I’m not going off on a stretcher, I never will. The day I go off on a stretcher, they’re going to have to make funeral arrangements. I’m proud of that fact that I got off the ice on my own power.

Now, that’s one tough S.O.B. Dwyane Wade could learn a lot from Mr. Malarchuk.

And here’s the actual play call as it happened live with color commentator Mike Robitaille and longtime voice of the Sabres Ted Darling behind the mics.

Back to #2

Categories
New York Rangers

Joakim Noah finally has some competition on the dance floor

Remember when Joakim Noah started having a seizure on the court after Florida won the SEC championship game? Well, apparently he’s not the only athlete who has absolutely zero rhythm and zero shame when it comes to their celebrations, or in this case preparations. Just check out Ryan Hollweg before the first game between the Rangers and Thrashers.

What’s most compelling about his routine is that he managed to seamlessly transition between a cartwheel, the robot and the sprinkler. We would like to see Clyde Drexler or Heather Mills pull that off.

Categories
NBA General

Air Jordan gets deflated by about $150 million

Michael Jordan has a lot of titles and distinctions to his name, but his latest accolade is almost certainly not going to have the greatest athlete of all time real excited. That’s because his Airness will probably lose more than $150 million to his ex-wife Juanita in what Forbes.com is calling the most costly divorce ever in their list of “The 10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces.” So, do you still wanna be like Mike?

Here are the rest of big losers or winners, depending on how you want to look at things.

#10: Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall: Estimated settlement – $15 to $25 million

#9: Lionel and Diane Richie: Estimated settlement – $20 million

#8: Michael and Diandra Douglas: Estimated settlement – $45 million

#7: James Cameron and Linda Hamilton: Estimated settlement – $50 million

#6: Paul McCartney and Heater Mills: Settlement pending – Possibly more than $60 million

#5: Kevin Costner and Cindy Silva: Estimated settlement – $80 million

#4: Harrison Ford and Melissa Mathison: Estimated settlement – $85 million

#3: Steven Spielberg and Amy Irving: Estimated settlement – $100 million

#2: Neil Diamond and Marcia Murphey: Estimated settlement – $150 million

#1: Michael and Juanita Jordan: Settlement pending – Possibly more than $150 million

While losing $150 million has got to suck, it’s a small price to pay to be able to do things like this…

Links:

[Forbes.com]: The 10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: Let’s get it on!


1. He said, he said
The Spurs and Mavericks got together in Dallas on Sunday and as usual, they tore the house down with an extremely competitive game that we can only hope to see duplicated in the Western Conference Finals. The Mavs limited San Antonio to just 10 points in the fourth quarter to win 91-86, but the turning point of the game came in the third quarter when Joey Crawford decided to flex his officiating muscle by slapping Tim Duncan with his second technical as he sat on the bench laughing. Duncan claims that Crawford came into the game with a personal vendetta against him and the old man even challenged Timmy to a fight. “He looked at me and said, `Do you want to fight? Do you want to fight?”‘ Duncan said. “If he wants to fight, we can fight. I don’t have any problem with him, but we can do it if he wants to. I have no reason why in the middle of a game he would yell at me, `Do you want to fight?”‘ Meanwhile, Crawford said that Duncan called him a piece of $#*! as he walked off the court. Wow; forget about Barkley vs. Bavetta 2, we wanna see Duncan vs. Crawford in a boxing match during next year’s All-Star weekend.

2. The Oden Ordeal

So, what’s the deal with Greg Oden? We already know that Kevin Durant is bolting from the Longhorns and into the pros, but conflicting reports over the weekend are leaving people scratching their heads about Oden’s intentions. First Oden’s old man told The Indianapolis Star that his boy was leaving Ohio State because “They had an exciting season, but why take the chance on him getting hurt?” But then Mike Conley Sr., father of Oden’s teammate Mike Conley Jr., basically told the press that Greg Oden Sr. was completely out of the loop. “The process for Greg Oden is, he’s going to talk to his mom today, he’s going to talk to me tomorrow, and he’s going to talk to Thad Matta on Monday,” Conley Sr. said. “And after that, he’s going to decide what he’s going to do and when he’s going to report it.” Conley Sr. can claim whatever importance in the equation that he wants to, but we’re going to believe Oden’s pops on this one.

3. The Magic’s Magic Man
The Orlando Magic guaranteed themselves a spot in the playoffs on Sunday when they narrowly defeated the Celtics, 88-86. Thanks to the victory, the Magic are back in the post season for the first time in four years and nobody is happier about it than Dwight Howard. Not only did he hit the final point of the game on a free throw with 4.6 seconds remaining, but he is also having some monster games as his team prepares for a playoff run. On Saturday night against the 76ers, Howard scored a career-high 35 points on 14-of-15 shooting and despite a poor offensive performance against Boston (3-8 FG, 4-12 FT), Howard still managed to pull down 14 rebounds. Howard now just needs to grab 18 rebounds while keeping his field goal percentage high over the final two games of the regular season to become only the second player in NBA history to shoot 60 percent and grab 1,000 boards in the same year. Not too bad for a 21 year old.

Sunday’s Player of the Day: Kobe Bryant vs. Seattle 42 min, 50 pts (FG: 18-25, 3FG: 3-6, FT: 11-13), 8 reb, 3 ast, 2 stl

Monday’s Game to Watch: Phoenix (61-19) @ Houston (51-29) With the playoffs beginning in less than a week, it’s match-ups like these that really get you excited about the post season. The Suns and Rockets are currently the two hottest teams in the West as they enter the games with five and four game winning streaks, respectively. Houston has looked like a completely different team since Yao Ming returned to form and is providing the perfect compliment to Tracy McGrady‘s stat sheet stuffing ability. But the two superstars are going to have to be at their best when the All-Star adorned Suns come to town. Phoenix really has nothing to play for considering they have already locked up the second seed in the playoffs, but this will be a great chance to get a feel for their possible second round opponent.

Buzzer Beater: The Lakers have been in a free fall for the past three weeks, but in their next to last game of the regular season they finally locked up a playoff spot by beating Seattle 109-98. In the process Kobe Bryant became the most prolific scorer in league history not named Wilt Chamberlain by racking up his 10th game with at least 50 points as he racked up an even fity against the Sonics. Los Angeles has a tough road ahead of them with a first round match-up against Phoenix or Dallas but, hey, at least Phil Jackson’s streak continues as his teams have never missed the playoffs in his 17 years as a coach.

Categories
Washington Redskins

Top 10 Most Gruesome sports injuries: #2 Joe Theismann (plus BONUS injury!)

[Sportscolumn is running down the ten most gruesome sports injuries. Here’s #2]

If you haven’t seen the Joe Theismann injury by now, then you must have been living under a rock for the past 22 years. After all, it is the granddaddy of all of sports injuries and gets referenced after almost every major leg injury in sports to this day.

Who can forget seeing Lawrence Taylor snap Theismann’s leg during the Redskins/Giants Monday Night Football game back in 1985? It was a flea-flicker that went horribly wrong and ended with Taylor rolling up on Theismann and bending his leg backwards, not to mention his body, which resulted in a broken tibia and fibula. Theismann’s career was over before LT even got up and started frantically signaling for the paramedics.

The play doesn’t look all that devastating from the original angle, but once the reverse angle was feed to the national audience it became obvious that this was single handedly the worst professional sports injury ever witnessed. And no matter how many times you’ve seen the clip over the past two decades, it never gets any easier to stomach. Ironically, many people experience the same nauseating feelings when they think of his color commentary on ESPN.

Now, if Theismann grabbed our No. 2 spot on the list of gruesome injuries, then this guy has to be considered No. 2a. We don’t know who this guy is or when or where this happened, but the second we saw it, we knew it deserved some lofty recognition. So, here’s to you Mr. Mixed Martial Arts guy; this injury is truly one of the nastiest bone snappings we’ve ever been sickened by.

If you want to find some humor in the situation, just check out the guy’s opponent when he snaps his leg. The guy starts jumping up and down like he just delivered a knockout punch. Dude, you won because his leg cracked; you didn’t do jack!

Back to #3 | Forward to #1

Categories
MLB General

It’s not just cigars, human Cubans are illegal as well


Don’t let the title, money and perks fool ya, being a sports agent is a tough job. They are constantly on the prowl in search of today’s top athletes and will travel the globe to find them. But Gustavo Dominguez might have missed the memo on exactly how to recruit such superstar potential from abroad.

Dominguez was found guilty of 21 federal charges that include conspiracy, smuggling, transporting and harboring after he illegally smuggled five Cuban baseball players into the country. Apparently, Dominguez figured that if he got the prospects to the United States, they would be indebted to him during their possible pro careers. But now, all that Dominguez has to look forward to is a jail cell because most of the charges have a maximum penalty of 10 years.

Dominguez claims that he is innocent and plans to appeal the verdict, but the evidence against him just might be too strong to overturn. Especially considering that there is a paper trail which shows Dominguez’s client, Cubs catcher Henry Blanco, made payments of $225,000 to a known drug trafficker. However, Dominguez claimed that he paid the money because he was threatened by the trafficker to pay for another illegally smuggled client.

I believed my family was under threat — those kids are my life,” Dominguez said Thursday while testifying in his own defense. “I don’t care what you say, I will pay whatever it takes to get that piece of cockroach away from me.

Hey, we don’t doubt that the guy is probably a “piece of cockroach” but Dominguez basically shot himself in the foot by not informing the police of the threat and also by inviting the dude over to his house for a birthday party in 2004.

This never would have happened if he would have learned the ropes from Jerry Maguire. While Drew Rosenhaus might be one of the most annoying men on the planet, at least he knows not to get caught up in a human trafficking ring.

Links:

[Miami Herald]: Sports agent guilty in Cuban ballplayer case
[Reuters]: U.S. sports agent convicted of smuggling Cubans

Categories
New York Mets

Ex-Met is a cat killer



Who could get mad at a
face like this?

Some dudes have serious jealousy issues, but this is taking it juuuuust a bit too far. Even Jonathon Babineaux thinks this guy stepped out of line.

Apparently Joe Petcka, who used to pitch for the Mets minor league team, became jealous because he wasn’t the only object of his girlfriend’s attention. Now, any man would probably become a little upset if their girl wanted to hang to with some dude named Norman, but they would most likely understand when they found out that Norman was a kitty cat. Well, Petcka isn’t quite as understanding.

Petcka decided that he would simply eliminate his rival and so, while his girlfriend was at work, Petcka snuck into her apartment and he pounded that pussy mercilessly. And as a calling card, Petcka left the lifeless kitty under his ex’s nightstand. Norman’s autopsy showed that he had received three busted ribs, broken teeth, a broken leg, lacerated tongue and a punctured liver.

The charge against Petcka is aggravated cruelty to an animal, which could bring about a two year prison sentence.

Because the press is involved, the judge set up ridiculous bail,” Mr. Petcka’s attorney, Charles Hochbaum, said as he left the courthouse. “I’ve walked people out who killed people on less bail than this.

Petcka might have learned the behavior from being on the set of “The Sopranos.” Apparently Petcka thinks he’s an actor, but his Hollywood career is going about as good as his baseball career went. In other words, it’s basically non-existent. Maybe he could get his career off the ground if he could get his rage under control. In additional to recently killing a cat, Petcka was arrested on domestic assault charges a few years back after grabbing his girlfriend by the throat, throwing her out of his apartment and then slamming the door on her finger.

Hopefully, they will throw the book at this douche and send him up the river for the full two years which will give Petcka plenty of time to work on the nuances of how to portray a prison bitch.

Links:

[NYSun.com]: Actor in custody after the death of his girlfriend’s cat

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: The Mamba goes cold as the Clippers explode

1. Hollywood comeback story
The Clippers looked like a team that was ready to start the off season early as fell down to the Lakers by 17 points before ripping off a huge fourth quarter to give the Clips an unbelievable 118-110 victory that breathed life back into their season. Kobe Bryant put up another 50-point performance but he was ice cold in the final quarter to give the Lakers their third consecutive loss. Bryant has now put together nine separate 50-point games this year which matches Wilt Chamberlain’s nine 50’s in the 1964-65 season. But Corey Maggette’s career-high 39 proved to be more important in the contest, and with the win, the Clippers jumped over Golden State to grab the eighth and final spot in the West.

2. Mrs. Ham tried to bring home the bacon illegally

It’s not uncommon for an athlete to smile and wave into the lens of a camera when someone puts it in front of their face. And the two most common words that accompany such an opportunity of national exposure are most certainly “Hi Mom.” Well, former NBAer Darvin Ham might be reduced to buying courtside tickets and dropping the camera guy a 20 dollar bill in order to get a little face time if he wants to converse with his momma after she was charged with arson and insurance fraud. Apparently, instead of trading in her 1986 Mercedes-Benz to the dealership, she decided to torch the car and make a false insurance claim. If that’s not bad enough Darvin’s mom, Wilmer Jones Ham, is the former mayor of Saginaw, Michigan. Hopefully she has a couple of friends who are lenient judges.

3. Cleveland rocks Jersey
The Cleveland Cavaliers might have the fifth seed in the Eastern Conference, but thanks to a 94-76 victory over the Nets last night, the Cavs locked up home-court advantage in the first round of the playoffs. Oh, yea, and they have a pretty good player on their squad in LeBron James which lifts Cleveland’s fan’s spirits even higher. LBJ put together a 35 point performance that included a 15 point outburst in the third quarter of the Cavs blowout. The Cavaliers might have been to the post season last year but that doesn’t mean they are familiar with the territory. This will only be the team’s second playoff appearance since 1998.

Thursday’s Player of the Day: Corey Maggette @ Los Angeles Lakers 43 min, 39 pts (FG: 10-15, 3FG: 2-3, FT: 17-24), 8 reb, 9 ast, 4 stl, 1 blk

Friday’s Game to Watch: Detroit (51-27) @ Toronto (45-33) It’s a battle between two of the top clubs in the Eastern Conference and a possible second round preview with a great power forward match-up thrown in as well. The Pistons have won three straight and captured the top seed in the East, giving them home-court advantage all the way through the East finals. Chris Bosh has led the Raptors on a four game winning streak but he will have to contend with the pesky defense of Rasheed Wallace before claiming a fifth straight victory. Toronto is hungry, like Detroit a few years back, but completely inexperienced in playoff situations. Hopefully they can use this big game, late season atmosphere to mentally prepare for what’s to come. Otherwise, this might be a serious make up call to the Raptors that they still have a lot more to prove than simply winning a division crown.

Buzzer Beater: It’s going to be a bittersweet goodbye for the New Orleans Hornets tonight as they host the Denver Nuggets in the final game to be played by the franchise in Oklahoma City. There’s still a slight chance that the Hornets could fill the arena in the postseason but the odds are not with them. So, in all reality, this will be the final game played in a city that took in a team that had no where else to turn. Nobody would have ever considered that Oklahoma could handle a professional sports franchise, but if any good has come out of the relocation of the team it is that it became crystal clear that Oklahoma City loves them some B-ball. And now they are getting mentioned with Las Vegas and St. Louis as possible future franchise destinations. Geez, who woulda thunk it?

Categories
College Basketball

Top 10 Most Gruesome sports injuries: #3 Allan Ray

[Sportscolumn is running down the ten most gruesome sports injuries. Here’s #3]

During the 2006 Big East tournament, everyone in the arena and everyone at home were ready to see Villanova and Pittsburgh get it on inside Madison Square Garden. But what nobody saw coming was one of the nastiest and oddest injuries ever caught on camera.

During the beginning of the second half of the game, Nova’s Allan Ray and Pitt’s Carl Krauser both went after a loose ball and as Krauser reached out he appeared to have inadvertently poked Ray’s eyeball out of his skull. Ray lost vision in his eye briefly but would quickly bounce back from the stomach turning injury to play in the team’s opening game of the NCAA Tournament.

Turns out that the injury wasn’t nearly as bad as it appeared on TV, or in person for that matter, as doctors revealed that the eye had not been dislodged from its socket, but, instead the eyelid had been pushed behind the eyeball which gave the appearance that it had popped out. The diagnosis was simply a soft-tissue injury.

Still, while it turned out to be a minor ordeal, to the millions who were watching that game live, it was just like watching a scene from a Warner Bros. cartoon come to life. Only this scene made them want to puke.

Back to #4 | Forward to #2

Categories
All Other Sports

Rony Seikaly is a beach volleyball-aholic


So, what do you do for fun when you’re a seven-foot tall retired millionaire? Why you start competitively playing beach volleyball, of course. Or at least that’s what Rony Seikaly is doing.

Since retiring from the NBA, Seikaly has apparently been brushing up on his digs and kills because he’ll be teaming up with one of Florida’s top players tomorrow in the qualifier for the AVP Cuervo Gold Crown Miami Open. The pair will be ranked 20th amongst the 50 teams competing.

Gaston Macau is the lucky fellow who gets to partner with Seikaly, but their chances are probably not all that good. Sounds like Seikaly is too busy to practice and what’s worse, the two haven’t even met each other yet. But that’s not diminishing any of Macau’s excitement about playing with one of his childhood heroes.

Can you believe it?” Macau said. “To be able to play with a star that I looked up to as a kid is an opportunity I know I will never have again. I am very excited.”

“I am looking to have fun but at the same time I like to compete. Once I get over the whole thing of meeting him and having fun, I want to win.

Now, we have no idea if Seikaly can play volleyball worth a damn but the big man is certainly hanging out in the right places. After all, he was married to the smoking hot Elsa Benitez.

Pics of Elsa Benitez can be found after the jump.

Links:

[Sun-Sentinel.com]: Former Heat star Seikaly attempts pro beach volleyball

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