Author: clay

Categories
College Football

South Carolina fans are Cocks

Harriette Folkers use to be a Clemson fan until her family convinced her to side with South Carolina, but after attending the USC spring football game she might change her mind and start rooting for the Tigers again. The possible change of heart has nothing to do with USC’s on-field performance on Saturday, and it’s not because Steve Spurrier wants to pull the confederate flag off the pole. No, Folkers is pissed that some jerk at the game stole her ride.

Folkers has a degenerative bone disease in foot that caused doctors to amputate it two years ago and while she was enjoying some helmet knocking some fool yanked her wheelchair that was folded and put out of the way by her section’s entrance. Police searched the stadium but there was no trace of the missing wheelie.

Leave it to a Gamecock fan to swipe some lady’s wheelchair; what’s next? Is some old man going to get his walker stolen while he’s in the can? Did this chair grabbing douche even consider how important that chair was to the owner? It just might have been the chair that was destined for stardom on ABC’s newest show “Dancing with the Handicapped Stars.”

Links:

[WISTV.com]: Woman converts to following Gamecocks; wheelchair disappears at USC spring game

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: Guess who’s back

1. The Warriors found the golden ticket!
Thanks to an impressive victory over the Trailblazers last night, Golden State snapped the league’s longest current playoff drought as they will make their first post season appearance since 1994. And for all their hard work, the Warriors land a series with the NBA’s best team in Dallas. But if anybody knows how to beat the Mavericks, it’s their old coach Don Nelson. The Warriors have had Dallas’ number over the past couple of seasons but it’s going to be tough for them to pull out four wins against Dirk Nowitzki, Josh Howard and the rest of Mark Cuban‘s boys. Lots of people, espically fans of Utah or Houston, would love to see Dallas go down, but Nelson is known for winning games; winning championships is a whole other story.

2. Professional leap frog

Before last night, Cleveland was set on a course in which they would collide head-on with the Miami Heat in the first round. And with a healthy Shaquille O’Neal and Dwyane Wade in the lineup, no team wants to draw them right now; thanks to a 109-96 victory over the Bucks on Wednesday, now the Cavs won’t have to and the Bulls will. With the victory, Cleveland leaped three spots in the Eastern Conference playoff picture and secured the No. 2 seed and a first round series against a Washington team that is missing their two most powerful Wizards. LeBron James wasn’t messing around as he went off for 24 points and nine assists, which made him just the second person in league history to average 27 points, six rebounds and six assists for three straight years.

3. More Crawford aftermath
Tim Duncan came out and said yesterday that he hopes that his team can “get a fair shake” from the referees after Duncan and the Spurs were at the epicenter of the Joey Crawford suspension. The officials aren’t too thrilled about David Stern‘s decision to give Crawford the boot, but hopefully for the Spurs sake the refs will be able to separate Stern from the Spurs. After all, the remaining referees can’t really argue that Duncan deserved to get T’d up and ejected while he sat on the bench; can they? Well, if they don’t want to end up with the same fate as their fellow zebra then they’ll be forced to call the games as usual, regardless of their personal feelings.

Wednesday’s Player of the Day: Pau Gasol @ Minnesota 36 min, 25 pts (FG: 9-15, FT: 7-9), 16 reb, 6 ast, 1 blk

Buzzer Beater: The Clippers were oh so close to grabbing the last playoff spot, but last night against the Hornets the Clippers pulled out their old tricks and dropped the must win game. It’s not surprising to see LA miss the post season, after all they are the Clippers, but it startling to see them fall so far in just one season. Last year at this time most were under the impression that Los Angeles finally had two professional basketball teams and some even believed that Clippers were on the verge of surpassing the Lakers for the domination of Hollywood. But you can scratch that idea now; and all those celebrities that were finally showing their faces at Clippers games will soon start donning the purple and gold once again.

Categories
Green Bay Packers

Odds and Ends: Koren Robinson M.D. (Monitored Daily)

Koren Robinson has some serious issues he needs to take care of, but since the police decided to let him out of jail, for now, they had to go high-tech to keep an eye on their inmate over the remaining 45 days of his sentence while also working at a local hospital. The cop fleeing, drunken driving, substance abusing Robinson was outfitted with an electronic monitoring device and released on April 7. Too bad the Packers don’t have that kind of technology to keep a watch over their investment with.

In other news…

[WWLTV.com]: Pokey Chatman wants to have sex with her players AND get paid for it. Good luck with that.

[SportsbyBrooks.com]: Louis Gossett Jr. likes going to Lakers games; he just doesn’t like to pay for it.

[IHT.com]: The Japanese sure know how to motivate their players.

[Chron.com]: Apparently New York signed some hot shot soccer star, or so we’re told.

[Our Book of Scrap]: Cubs fans like their beer

[Deadspin]: We’d hit it. (The woman, not the 15-year-old boy.)

And finally, we have a perfect example of why kids shouldn’t smoke. Not only will it make you smell bad, turn your teeth yellow and possibly give you cancer, but it could get you thrown in the slammer. Well, that’s what happened to these kids in Iowa after police charged them with the theft of more 500 cartons of cigs. In related news, Vlade Divac wants to know why he hasn’t received his weekly shipment of menthols yet.

Categories
Olympics

China’s nomination for "Father of the Year"


If you think that parents of young, talented gymnasts or baseball players can be too hard on their kids; just wait until you get a load of Zhang Jianmin. Jianmin is living the tough life in China and so, instead of busting hump to provide for his family, he makes his daughter, Zhang Huimin, run her ass off in hopes that she can become a celebrity runner in the 2016 Olympics. Oh, did we mention that the girl is only 8 years old?

Her dad started making her run at 4 and by the age of 6 she was running eight miles; at 7 she completed a marathon in 3 hours, 28 minutes and 45 seconds. The 42 pounds of little girl has to get up around 2:30 a.m. every weekend to run a marathon (26 miles) before school and she runs countless more miles before school every day during the week.

My plan is that we will have a hard five years,” he said, “and then, when she reaches 12 or 13 years old, she could take part in more national competitions. Hopefully, a professional team will take her.

Apparently, Jianmin used to be a bit of an athlete himself but his dreams never materialized, so we’re guessing that now he’s trying to recapture his glory days through his daughter while looking for a free meal ticket in the process. And we thought that Richard Williams was a crappy father.

Links:

[The Daily O’Collegian]: Going for gold
[Steroid Nation]: Eight year old girl runs a marathon schedule

Categories
Boston Red Sox

Manny Ramirez is off his rocker, tell us something we don’t know


Manny Ramirez is no ordinary outfielder. In fact, the only way that most people can appropriately describe the guy without saying he is a nut-job is by using the old reliable description of “that’s just Manny being Manny.” Well, David Ortiz didn’t find that depiction to be accurate, so in an interview with The New Yorker big Papi stepped up to the plate and delivered a home run of a quote in regards to his vision of his teammate.

As a crazy motherfucker.” Then he pointed at my notebook and said, “You can write it down just like that: `David Ortiz says Manny is a crazy motherfucker.’ That guy, he’s in his own world, on his own planet. Totally different human being than everyone else.

Now, this isn’t the first time we’ve heard something like this; Jim Rome has been saying for years that Ramirez lives on “Planet Man-Ram.” But according to Ray Negron, Ramirez is actually a pretty stable guy.

They should be fair about this. I got to know Joe DiMaggio, and I was very close to Billy Martin, who knew everything about Joe DiMaggio. You know the difference? Manny’s probably a better hitter.” He went on, “I came up with the craziness of the Yankees in the seventies–the `Bronx Zoo,’ and Sparky Lyle and all of them sitting on cakes without clothes on. Manny was mild compared to what I had been used to.”

The reporter then reminded Negron that Ramirez too used to walk into the video room naked to study tapes of pitchers.

“Do you understand why I would see that as normal?” Negron said. “He wasn’t sitting on a birthday cake.

It’s pretty bad when the only way someone can find to describe you as “normal” is because you don’t sit on birthday cakes in the nude.

Links:

[The New Yorker]: Waiting for Manny

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: Even Mr. Clutch can’t save Memphis

1. West walks away
Jerry West will always be the logo of the NBA, but yesterday he announced that he will no longer be the face of the Memphis Grizzlies. West told reporters that his five year run as the Grizzlies’ director of basketball operations will end on July 1. Mr. Clutch said “I’m not a youngster anymore,” and said that the constant losing, uncertainty and injuries have all added up to be too much for the soon-to-be 69 year old. West has done all that he can for the Memphis franchise and while they might have some pieces to build on; they seriously need a centerpiece to build around. And according to West, Pau Gasol is not that guy. But with the luck of the bouncing ping-pong balls, perhaps Kevin Durant could become what Gasol never did.

2. Skiles shoots down Curry’s season

If the Tim Duncan/Joey Crawford drama isn’t enough to keep your NBA interest peaked, then perhaps a coach/player rivalry will be more intriguing to you. Last week, Bulls coach Scott Skiles said that the Knicks Eddy Curry is “having a very good year but it seems like he’s being put on a pedestal awful quickly here.” It sounds to us like somebody is upset that Curry didn’t have his breakout season while playing in Bulls’ red. Curry said that his former coach was “very disrespectful” in his comments. This is a great start to a bad blood rivalry, but it’s not going to get a chance to get fully rolling until next season since New York won’t be participating in the post season.

3. Jamison doesn’t mind carrying the load
With Gilbert Arenas and Caron Butler out of the lineup there are gobs and gobs of points available for the other 12 players on the active roster. And on Tuesday night Antawn Jamison did his absolute best to make sure that he grabbed as many of those points for himself as he could by scoring 48 points against the Magic. Unfortunately, the 48 point effort was in vain as the Wizards fell by six to Orlando, 95-89. Jamison jacked up 26 of the Wiz’s 80 field goals and attempted 24 of the team’s 44 free throws. Talk about a one many show! Jarvis Hayes was the only other Wizard to finish in double figures with 15 points on 6-of-12 shooting.

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Antawn Jamison vs. Orlando 48 min, 48 pts (FG: 14-26, 3FG: 5-9, FT: 15-24), 9 reb, 1 ast, 1 stl

Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Golden State (41-40) @ Portland (32-49) Portland might be the home team in this contest, but the Trailblazers have nothing to play for. Golden State, on the other hand, has everything to play for as their post season hopes ride on the last game of the last day of the schedule. If the Warriors can pull out the victory, then they are in the playoffs for the first time since 1994, snapping the longest current streak of going without any post season lovin’. However, if Golden State fails to win against Portland then the Clippers can sneak into the post season by beating the Hornets in LA.

Buzzer Beater: Jermaine O’Neal didn’t try to hide the fact that he wanted out of Indy if the Pacers failed to reach the playoffs, but now that the season is over O’Neal is backing off of his demands for an off-season trade. “I want to retire here, but I understand the business part of it. The business part is brutal. If they feel they can’t rebuild the team, they have to tear the team down.” While O’Neal isn’t admitting it, he’s probably still looking for a change of address and one attractive location is in LA; with Kobe Bryant, not Elton Brand. The Lakers desperately need a big man to compliment their superstar scorer but they’ll have to give up some young talent in return; perhaps Andrew Bynum. Unfortunately, The Captain would not be happy with that.

Categories
NBA General

David Stern ejects Joey Crawford for being a jerk

Well it’s about freaking time that David Stern held his officials responsible for their actions and dished out a stiff penalty to one of the league’s favorite refs by suspending Joey Crawford indefinitely after he threw Tim Duncan out of Sunday’s Spurs/Mavs for no good reason. Crawford is done at least until next November when the 2007-08 season tips off. That should give him plenty of time to get into shape for that fight with TD that he supposedly wanted. Here’s what the commish had to say about the situation.

Joey Crawford’s handling of this situation failed to meet the standards of professionalism and game management we expect of NBA referees,” NBA commissioner David Stern said. “Especially in light of similar prior acts by this official, a significant suspension is warranted. Although Joey is consistently rated as one of our top referees, he must be held accountable for his actions on the floor, and we will have further discussions with him following the season to be sure he understands his responsibilities.

Way to go David; that’s why you’re the best commissioner in sports. And in case you’ve forgotten, here is Crawford’s moment of machismo that sent him on an unexpected vacation.

And Stern might want to consider suspending the referee that called an offensive foul on Fabricio Oberto when Josh Howard delivered a flying body block on the other end of the court.

Links:

[NBA.com]: NBA Referee Joey Crawford Suspended

Categories
Tennessee Titans

Madden curse to work its black magic on Vince Young



fine fine photoshop work

As if Pacman Jones’ situation isn’t bad enough for the Tennessee Titans, now they gotta deal with the eventual season ending, career altering injury to their franchise QB. Yep, Vince Young is expected to grace the cover of Madden 2008 and undoubtedly become the next NFL superstar to fall victim to the curse of fat boy John Madden. But Vince ain’t afraid of no curse; he’s already been announced as one of Chunky Soup’s “Mama’s Boys” for this season which would have players trembling in the past.

Sure, it’s a honor to be named as a Madden cover worthy player, especially just one year into his career, but after Eddie George, Donovan McNabb, Daunte Culpepper, Shaun Alexander and Ray Lewis all suffered through some type of turmoil after the game was released, Tennessee fans have got to be praying that EA Sports will reconsider and screw someone else like Super Bowl champion Peyton Manning or league MVP LaDanian Tomlinson.

After all, Vince already has the odds stacked against him with Pacman getting the boot, an outta shape running back, no receivers to speak of and a front office that is tens of millions of dollars under the cap but has yet to spend a dime during the off-season. Still, if anyone can break this jinx, you have to think that VY’s the man to do it.

Links:

[NashvilleCityPaper.com]: Young to grace cover of Madden `08

Categories
Boston Red Sox

Pizza hurling Sox fan had extra aggression on his pie

Everyone has gone to the ballpark with the hopes of catching a prized souvenir to proudly show off to your friends for the rest of your days. Brookline Sole had similar intentions when he took in Monday’s game between the Red Sox and Angels at Fenway, but what he didn’t expect was that his dreams would end with a slice of pie to his face.

As J.D. Drew’s foul pop-up sailed into the stands, Sole saw his moment to shine but ended up in a minor collision with Angels’ outfielder Garret Anderson as the ball of his dreams bounced away. If that’s not bad enough, Sole had pissed off another fan, Matt Madore, a few rows back and he decided that this would be the perfect time to exact his revenge on Sole by hurling a large slice of cheese pizza at him. Madore’s buddy, Danny Kelly gave some insight into the hilarious incident that got his friend ejected from the game. Turns out Sole had been poking fun at the fellas for bringing a large pizza to the game.

They had been giving us (expletive) about it,” Madore said. “Next thing I know, there’s a fly ball to left field and it goes foul and my buddy says, `You want some pizza now?’ And he hits him right in the face. Hey, the guy wasn’t paying attention. When you’re in the stands you’ve got to be ready for anything – a foul ball, a flying slice of pizza, everything.

The announcers’ reactions during the recap of the fiasco are absolutely priceless, and luckily for us they keep it up for a good two minutes.

Links:

[BostonHerald.com]: Pepperoni with that? Flying pizza at Fens

Categories
NBA General

Around the Rim: Houston, we have lift off

1. Rockets booster
There were lots of questions about Tracy McGrady’s health during the season and there were even more questions about Yao Ming’s health after he broke his leg, but now all the questions have been answered and the results are not good for the rest of the West. The Suns certainly took notice after Houston pulled out an impressive 120-117 victory behind 39 points from McGrady and 34 from Yao. As if 39 points isn’t enough, McGrady chipped in 11 rebounds and nine assists as well. With the win, Houston gained home-court advantage in their first round series against Utah despite being the fifth seed in the playoffs, and considering that Houston is currently the hottest team in the West, the slumping Jazz are suddenly looking like the underdogs in this much anticipated series.

2. Reappearing act

When Caron Butler first got diagnosed with a broken hand two weeks ago, the outlook was bleak. But now things are starting to look a little more promising for the All-Star forward who says that he is still hopeful he will make a full recovery before the playoffs are over. The only question that remains is if the Wizards will still be playing when he does. Butler was originally supposed to be out of action for six weeks but on Monday he took part in practice with the team. This is great news for the Wizards as they need all the help they can get since Gilbert Arenas had to cut his season short with an injury. Butler’s return probably won’t be enough to get Washington past Toronto or Chicago but it definitely gives them a better chance than having Jarvis Hayes in the starting five.

3. One spot left; who wants it?
With only one day left in the regular season, oddly enough there is still one playoff spot up for grabs and it is for the very undesirable final seed in the West which yields a first round match-up against the Mavericks. The only teams that are in left in contention for the post season are the Warriors and the Clippers. Neither team has an easy opponent but luckily for them their games involve teams that have nothing to play for. The Clips are in the worst position possible as they need to not only defeat the Suns, but they also need the Warriors to lose to Dallas. On the other hand, Golden State has their destiny in their own hands as they simply need to win and they’re in.

Monday’s Player of the Day: Tracy McGrady vs. Phoenix 41 min, 39 pts (FG: 14-31, 3FG: 3-7, FT: 8-11), 11 reb, 9 ast, 2 stl

Tuesday’s Game to Watch: Toronto (47-33) @ Detroit (51-29) The Raptors will get an excellent opportunity to get a feel for the post season waters as they travel to Detroit for an early battle against the Eastern Conference’s best team. Both teams will probably take it kind of easy during the game in order to avoid any unnecessary injuries before the playoffs but it could still prove to be a great game of chess between the two coaches. This could be a preview of a second round series between these two in a couple of weeks but Chris Bosh and TJ Ford will have to survive a series in the unfamiliar post season before they can start hoping of knocking off the former champs.

Buzzer Beater: One day after the Spurs’ Tim Duncan got teched up, thrown out and supposedly called out, Gregg Popovich decided that he wasn’t going to take any chances with his stars’ futures before the post season. So, last night as the Spurs took on the Grizzlies, Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili all enjoyed the entire game from the comfort of the bench. Well, enjoyed might not be the most accurate term considering that Memphis grabbed a 10 point victory, 101-91. But what can realistically be expected when 55 points per game plus a bunch of rebounds, assists, steals and blocks are riding the pine? Hopefully James “Flight” White enjoyed what will most likely be his only chance to ever lead the Spurs in scoring after he tied Michael Finley with 17 points on Monday.