Categories
Golf

Odds and Ends: Zach Johnson gets the shaft


What more does a guy have to do to get some credit in the golf world? Zach Johnson comes from nowhere to rip the green jacket from Tiger Woods’ hands in a story that Disney would probably refuse because of a lack of authenticity, and Sports Illustrated puts a tree on the cover of their latest issue.

Are you serious? A tree! Of course, Tiger is standing behind the tree so apparently that justifies it to the fellas at SI. But if you notice, they did give Johnson a little bit of pub on the cover. Thanks for squeezing that in guys.

In other news…

[Our Book of Scrap]: Speed skating just made its way into the hearts of men across the country

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: All this over a free burger?

[KansasCity.com]: Jason Whitlock is on Don Imus’ side. No, surely not Whitlock.

[WFAA.com]: Michael Irvin will see your lawsuit and raise you one.

And finally, we all knew that there would be a movie about the rise and fall of Anna Nicole, but what we didn’t know is that a babe would play Anna. Looks like pop singer Willa Ford is the lucky winner of the role. Now she just needs to practice on her slurred speech and start fluctuating dress sizes like a white Oprah.

Categories
Golf

Odds and Ends: Zach Johnson is enjoying his 15 minutes


Must…look…comfortable.

Winning the Masters as an unheard of underdog has got to be the thrill of a lifetime, but reading a Top Ten list on the Late Show with David Letterman probably ranks as a close second for Zach Johnson. Last night Johnson made an appearance with Dave and proudly proclaimed the “Top Ten Things I Can Say Now That I’ve Won The Masters.”

10: I’m going to spend the prize money on Mountain Dew and beef jerky

9: I once beat a caddy to death with a 7-iron.

8: It’s so weird – before this weekend, I’d never broke 100.

7: The jacket’s okay, but I’m most excited to win the “World’s Greatest Golfer” key chain.

6: Even I’ve never heard of me.

5: If you like golf, you’ll love the sleek looks and smooth handling of the 2007 Volkswagen Golf Sedan — I just made 50 grand.

4: I just wrote down “3” for every hole. Nobody checked.

3: Maybe I can parlay this into an appearance on “Dancing With The Stars.”

2: It’s a magical week: first I win the Masters, and now I get to tell lame jokes on a third-rate talk show.

1: Thanks to global warming, next year I’m playing without pants.

Our personal favorite is No. 3 because it’s probably the truth. Hey, if Billy Ray Cyrus can make the show, then so can you Zach.

In other news…

[Sports by Brooks]: Oh no he didnt: Sports By Brooks says an outbreak of equine herpes in Hong Kong might scare away womens basketball players. That’s just not right.

[Seattle Times]: Former Seahawk Warren Moon arrested for DUI

[Gheorge: The Blog]: Kevin Millar does his best Ray Lewis impersonation (the dance, not being an accessory to two murders)

[Steroid Nation]: Australia wants to test school kids for steroids

[The Big Lead]: An Interview with Mike Vaccaro of the NY Post

[Awful Announcing]: The guy from Awful Announcing has lost his mind

And finally, we have two soccer stories from our favorite soccer blog, the Offside. First, Ronaldo will be on a episode of the Simpsons. The slim Ronaldo, not the fat one. Second, this David Beckham thing is out of control: Beckhams toilet paper.