Posted on Wed Aug 15, 2007 at 08:40:09 AM EST in College
More on: Don Imus, college basketball, Rutgers, lawsuits, idiots (all tags)

Kia Vaughn is suing Don Imus, CBS Radio, CBS Corp, and possibly anyone with money because Imus called her a nappy headed ho on the radio. Just when you thought lawsuits couldn't get more ridiculous in this country and just when you thought the stupid Don Imus thing was finally dead, here comes the cash grab. Frankly, we're suprised it took this long.

According to the lawsuit and her scumbag lawyer, the comments caused Vaughn to be humiliated, embarrassed and publicly mocked. So much so in fact that the "full effect of the damage remains to be seen." (Translation: settle with us out of court before we ask for more money.)

This is about Kia Vaughn's good name," Ancowitz said. "She would do anything to return to her life as a student and respected basketball player -- a more simple life before Imus opened his mouth on April 4.

Wait... what? Who the fuck is Kia Vaughn? Before she filed this lawsuit, we don't think anyone outside of her dorm knew who she was. Now her reputation is ruined? Listen, ho(ney), you've done more to damage your "good name" by filing this lawsuit than anything that idiot Imus said. You think people are saying to her as she's walking down a street, "hey, you're that nappy headed ho!"? No. Nobody could pick her out of a lineup even if they put her next to five midgets.

But hey, listen, we understand, the WNBA only pays about $35k a year.

Links:
[Yahoo]: Rutgers basketball player sues Imus and CBS Radio, alleging defamation of character

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Posted on Fri May 25, 2007 at 09:35:37 AM EST in MLB
More on: St. Louis Cardinals, lawsuits, jackasses (all tags)

Dean Hancock, the father of Josh Hancock, the St. Louis pitcher who was killed in a traffic accident last month, really needs to blame somebody for the death of his son. He is suing the restaurant that served his son alcohol which certainly has legal precedence.

But here's the kick in the crotch -- he is also suing the man whose Geo Prism stalled and the tow truck driver who stopped to help the Prism. Damn that Prism owner for not being rich enough to afford a reliable car... say like a top of the line SUV. And damn that tow truck driver for actually trying to help someone.

Now, we don't want to desecrate the memory of the dead but Josh Hancock was drunk, speeding, wasn't wearing a seat belt, and was talking on his cell phone at the time of his fatal accident. Is this really anyone's fault but Josh's? Or Perhaps Dean Hancock did such a shitty job of raising his son that he needs to blame people for his own failures?

Everyone felt bad about Josh Hancock's death. And even when the facts of his accident came out, most people just swept it under the rug and paid their respects. But now Dean Hancock is using up whatever ounce of goodwill was left in community by being a complete asshat. Way to honor the memory of your son, pops.

Links:
[SI]: Hancock's father files suit

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Posted on Tue May 08, 2007 at 03:14:37 PM EST in MLB
More on: Yankees, Jaguars, Mets, lawsuits, soccer, Raiders (all tags)

ESPN had an interesting poll on how the addition of Roger Clemens affects their postseason chances. A majority of voters (48%) said they'd miss the playoffs while 17% though they will be World Series Champs. What's interesting is that only in 3 states do a majority of folks feel that the Yankees will be champions at year's end: New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut. Delusion in a powerful force. (via be Recruited)

In other news...

[Jacksonville.com]: Goodell's personal conduct policy claims another victim

[SI.com]: Mets fan who was crushed by a fat man is suing the Mets

[The Offside]: It's a good thing he didn't get a hot beef injection

[Wizard of Odds]: Our favorite entry into the Wiz's great billboard competition

[Larry Brown Sports]: His soul probably still stinks

And finally, Malaysian officials are planning on dumping 196,00 cans of confiscated beer down the drain. It's as if a million sports fans cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.

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Posted on Wed May 02, 2007 at 11:48:23 AM EST in MLB
More on: St. Louis Cardinals, bad ideas, lawsuits (all tags)

What better way is there to celebrate your favorite team's championship win than by getting a tattoo?  You can go around commemorating the St. Louis Cardinals 2000 Worlb Series victory with an awesome tattoo.  What?  Oh, that's supposed to  say 2006 World Series?  Damn.

Cards fan Jason Harris is suing The House of Ink in St. Louis for over $25,000 in damages.  Since it was on his back, he didn't know about the errors until he showed his mother ("Hey ma, check this out!") the following day.  The shop has offered to fix the work but Harris would rather get it removed at this  point.

We completely understand where he's coming from.  A tattoo is supposed to be cool.  Now this tattoo was never going to be cool but now it's a complete joke.  Hey, at least he didn't try getting it in Chinese characters and end of with something like St. Louis Pigeon Moth Balls.  

We don't have a photo of his wretched tattoo but it sounds like a job for Joe Sports Fan.

Links:
[The Smoking Gun]: What In The Worlb?

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Posted on Wed May 02, 2007 at 09:04:34 AM EST in NBA
More on: Spurs, lawsuits (all tags)

Bruce Bowen and his wife Yardley have filed suit against a Texas computer repair shop for over $2M after the company sold their hard drive containing personal information to another customer. The Bowns want $562k in economic damages, $1.2M in mental anguish damages, and another $500k in punitive damages.

The Bowens claim they took a faulty computer to the folks at Computer Nerdz, who told them the hard drive was fubar and that they would need a new one. Since the computer was still under warranty from Gateway, they could get a new hard drive for free and all they had to do was send the broken hard drive back to Gateway. Computer Nerdz gave them a bad drive, they sent it back and all was well. Until they were contacted by a woman who said Computer Nerdz sold her a "new" hard drive and she discovered all the Bowen's personal information on it. Oops.

Here's what probably happened: the Computer Nerdz thought they'd make a quick buck by fleecing Gateway's warranty service then fixing up and selling Bowen's old hard drive as new to an unsuspecting customer. Unfortunately, someone forgot to erase the hard drive first. The Bowens would be wise to settle this quickly out of court -- we don't expect Computer Nerdz to be in business much longer.

Of course, this had to happen to Bruce Bowen, the boringest man in the league. Why couldn't the contents of Rich Eisen's hard drive be out there?

Links:
[The Smoking Gun]: NBA Star Claims Hard Drive Foul

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Posted on Fri Mar 09, 2007 at 12:09:05 PM EST in NBA
More on: mascots, lawsuits, Pacers (all tags)

An Indiana Pacers fan is suing the Pacers because he calims that Pacers mascot "Boomer" tackled him during a free throw shooting competition and caused permanent back damage.

In his lawsuit, Jackson says he attended the March 11, 2005, game against Golden State and was asked to participate in a free-throw shooting contest.

He initially declined, citing his recent back surgery, but was assured "there would be no reason for concern or injury," according to the lawsuit.

After the contest, the lawsuit says, he began to leave the court but was tackled by Boomer. The employee who knew about Jackson's bad back told the mascot about the surgery, and Boomer responded by kicking at Jackson's legs, the lawsuit says.

If a guy can get $2.5M out of the Phillies fanatic because he hugged him too hard, imagine how much this guy is going to get from the Pacers for being tackled. As if the Pacers organization isn't throwing enough money away as it is on Dunleavy and Troy Murphy.

Links:
[Indy Star]: Even the mascot is having legal troubles

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Posted on Thu Feb 22, 2007 at 12:44:06 PM EST in Other Sports
More on: Fuzzy Zoeller, lawsuits (all tags)

Fuzzy Zoeller is suing a company in Florida for "defamation, false light invasion of privacy, and intentional infliction of emotional distress" over statements that someone at Josef Silny and Associates, Inc. posted on Wikipedia. Since he can't sue Wikipedia, he traced the IP address of the posting to the company and is suing them instead. Here is the offending passage:

Later Zoeller went public with his alcoholism and prescription drug addiction, explaining that at the time he made those statements, he was "in the process of polishing off a fifth of Jack (Daniels) after popping a handful of vicodin pills". He further detailed the violent nature of his disease, recalling how he'd viciously beat his wife Dianne and their four children while under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. He also admitted feigning a ruptured spinal disc in 1985 so as to be prescribed a multitude of prescription medication.

He sought professional help and mended his fractured familial relationships. In May 2006, Zoeller said in an interview with Golf Digest magazine that he hadn't beaten his wife in nearly five years.

According to the lawsuit:

The false statements published by Defendant JOSEF SILNY AND ASSOCIATES, INC. tended to subject MR. DOE to hatred, distrust, ridicule, contempt, and disgrace in that they depicted MR. DOE as an alcoholic and prescription drug addict, who is possessed of a violent nature which had caused him to "viciously beat his wife and their four children", and as someone who had committed the crime of falsifying ailment in order to obtain prescription drugs.

Yeah, we can see why Fuzzy Zoeller MR. DOE would be mad about that. While the offending passage has been taken out of the Fuzzy Zoeller wikipedia entry, it still remains on Answers.com and that's probably how the Miami Herald was able to deduce the super secret identity of MR. DOE.

We hope Fuzzy doesn't sue us for repeating the passage, after all, we can barely afford to put collard greens or whatever the hell we serve on the table.

Links:
[Miami Herald]: Golfer Zoeller sues Miami firm for Wikipedia posting
[Miami Herald]: Fuzzy Zoeller lawsuit pdf
[Answers.com]: Fuzzy Zoeller

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Posted on Wed Jan 17, 2007 at 01:01:00 PM EST in NFL
More on: Falcons, Vikings, NFL, Super Bowl, Bulls, lawsuits (all tags)

In 1999: Normally, a 14-2 team advancing to the Super Bowl wouldn't shock anyone, but when the Atlanta Falcons faced the Minnesota Vikings in the NFC Championship game, few expected Atlanta to move on. The Vikings were, 15-1 and one of the most dominant regular season teams in recent memory. Minnesota, led by rookie Randy Moss and a rejuvenated Randall Cunningham rolled up a league-record 556 points and was rarely challenged. Still, the Falcons decided to take the field anyway as 11-point underdogs in the noisy Metrodome. The Vikings had a chance to ice it in the fourth quarter, but Gary Anderson missed a 38-yard field goal (his very first miss of the year) that would've put them up by 10. Instead of being down by 10 with 2:00 minutes left, the Falcons were able to force overtime with a Chris Chandler (who outgained Cunningham 340-266) to Terrance Mathis (who scored twice to Moss' one TD) touchdown with :49 left. The Falcons defense bogged down the Vikings in overtime and Morten Andersen kicked the game-winner to send the “Dirty Birds” to the Super Bowl for the first time, where Eugene Robinson was arrested for propositioning a prositute and the Falcons were beaten by the Broncos. (For those who might not remember the Dirty Bird—, lucky you. It was cool like the Macarena was cool.)

In 1997: Normally getting kicked in your bag just nets a lot of pain and embarrassment. And chances are, you probably deserved it. But when Eugene Amos, an in-house photographer at Minnesota's Target Center had the audacity to be in the way of a diving Dennis Rodman, his pain turned into a winning lottery ticket. Rodman, then a member of the Chicago Bulls, was scrambling for a loose ball, collided with a prone Amos under the basket and introduced himself Nike-first into Amos' crotch. The NBA kicked Rodman harder, but in his wallet. He was fined $25,000 and was suspended for 11 games. Rodman also agreed to pay Amos $200,000. Since the suspension was without pay, Rodman cost himself over $1 million dollars and an infinite number of stupid points, even for him.

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Posted on Fri Dec 15, 2006 at 01:49:13 PM EST in NFL
More on: lawsuits, Marcus Vick (all tags)

A 17-year-old is suing Marcus Vick for $6.3 million accusing him of sexual battery upon a minor, fraud, and other chargers (too slow in the 40?).  According to the lawsuit, the girl started a two year sexual relationship with Vick when she was only 15 and he was at Va Tech.   Does she (and her grandma) want Marcus thrown in jail for statutory rape?  Nope, they want cash for "psychological trauma associated with the child sexual abuse perpetrated by defendant Marcus Vick."

First off, while it's illegal and reprehensible for Vick to take advantage of a high school girl, this lawsuit smells of a  shakedown.  Second, why does this surprise anyone?  Remember, before the 2004 season, Vick was arrested for providing underaged girls with marijuana, liquor,  and pornography.  You gotta figure he got around to nailing them.  It's a simple  equation folks, marijuana + underaged girls + pornography = sex.  Or at least that's what R. Kelly says.  The girl filing the lawsuit is one of the girls in the 2004 incident.  At the time, she invoked the 5th Amendment Rights at the trial  Now, she just understands it's time to get paid.

She also accuses Vick of fraud because he told her her loved her to get her to have sex with him.  Holy Christ!  If she wins that argument, any man who's lied to get laid (and that's just about every man who's gotten laid) is in serious trouble.

Links:
[Yahoo]: Girl suing former Virginia Tech QB for $6.3 million

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Posted on Wed Nov 01, 2006 at 12:44:56 PM EST in Other Sports
More on: ESPN, lawsuits (all tags)

The Smoking gun has a copy of the Connecticut lawsuit filed by Harold Reynolds against ESPN where he's suing for breach of contract. According to Reynolds, he was never told why he was fired and in response to the allegations of sexual harassment, he claims that he gave a "brief hug" to the intern and she never expressed any discomfort and they even went to dinner at the classy Boston Market that evening.

Reynolds said that in March he signed a new six year contract with ESPN that paid him $1M per. "During negotiatons for any contract, ESPN raised no specific concerns about any past conduct or performance, and ESPN indicated no reservations whatsoever about Mr. Reynold's continue employment with it." Reynolds also claimed that ESPN did not adequately investigate the alleged misconduct and still has not given him a copy of his personnel file as required by CT law.

All this adds up to "at least $5 million, including interest and lost past and future earnings." Ouch.

As one ESPN insider told us, interns can be related to pretty powerful people in the sports community, so we have to wonder who this intern was whose complaint will result in ESPN losing a decent baseball announcer and at least $5mil.

Links:
[The Smoking Gun]: Announcer Sues ESPN Over "Hug" Firing

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