Tag: funny

Categories
NBA General

Sir Charles is the next Billy Blanks

If you’re a night owl like us, then you’re probably use to those horrible late night ads that hit the air around 1:00 in the morning. No, not the 1-900-BIG-JUGS ad that gets run 25 times per hour; we’re talking about the infomercials for crap like 2 Second Abs, The Veg-O-Matic and Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia. But the other night something flashed across the screen that had us jumping outta our Lazy Boys; the collectors edition “Sir Charles Hardwood Classics” DVD. We thought it was all just a dream but it looks like the fellas at Inside the NBA saw the same commercial.

All that and a free Chuckcycle 5000 for the amazing low, low price of just $9.99!! We’re sold!

Categories
Cleveland Cavaliers

LeBron does his best impression of Chris Tucker doing Michael Jackson doing the Bee Gees

On Wednesday night LeBron James could be found all over the tube. He’s got commercials that are running here and there, he played in Game 2 of the Cavaliers first round series against the Wizards but nothing was quite as memorable as his brief performance on American Idol. King James turned his gay meter up a few notches as he belted out his best rendition of the Bee Gees “Stayin’ Alive.” Don’t believe us? Here’s the proof.

But you can’t rip on the guy too much because it was for a good cause, the “Idol Gives Back” fundraiser which benefits poverty stricken children in both America and Africa, and he had a good sense of humor about the whole thing.

It was absolutely terrible,” said James.

So, why exactly are you putting a recording studio in your new mansion again LeBron?

Categories
Philadelphia Eagles

Odds and Ends: The Oregon Ducks are off the hook


Who puked up this color scheme?

The Philadelphia Eagles are celebrating their 75th season in the National Football League, so in order to commemorate the occasion, the Eagles will be dressed in the franchise’s 1933 throwback uniforms.

Oh, but these aren’t just any unis; these are quite possibly the ugliest uniforms ever worn in the history of sports. We’re not sure is if the purpose is to commemorate or humiliate the team but either way Philly fans can turn in their traditional green for yellow and baby blue on September 23 when the Eagles host the Lions.

In other news…

[Lion In Oil]: The Braves can get you into a slightly used seat with 90-day, interest free financing; so, do we have a deal?

[Steroid Nation]: Pit bulls are now being accused of having connections with BALCO

[Star-Telegram.com]: From America’s Team to Arena Football: The Quincy Carter Story

[Boston.com]: Time is almost up for you to own your Red Sox World Series ring. Don’t delay, act now!

And finally, here’s a story of a man in Germany who had a bit too much to drink one night and fell asleep with a horse inside of a bank’s lobby. The couple was discovered the next morning by employees heading into work. The man said that he only had a “few beers” and we believe him; hell, Al Reynolds slept with Star Jones when she was a fat load and he wasn’t even drunk.

Categories
Anaheim Ducks

Snoop likes hockey? Oh, fo shizzle!

Everyone knows that Snoop Dog is a Lakers and Trojans fan, and now it looks like he’s starting to jump on the Anaheim Ducks bandwagon. Here’s a clip from Snoopy’s appearance on FSN during intermission of Thursday’s game. Sounds like the Dogfather got dragged down to the game by his son but it seems like Snoop is still enjoying himself. Heck, he’s even rockin’ the foam finger! We’re wondering if that might be one of those jewelry carrying foam fingers, kinda like Michael Vick’s water bottle safe. After all, Snoop does seem like he’s awfully “high” on the Ducks all of a sudden.

Everyone else has tried, maybe the rappers can save hockey.

Categories
Satire

Odds and Ends: The funniest sportscenter spoof ever

We were all set to lead off Odds and Ends with a story about Joe Thomas skipping the NFL Draft to go fishing with his dad but then a reader sent us this video of an ESPN Sportscenter spoof that has us peeing our pants. It is almost perfect. You have to watch it twice to read the ticker at the bottom but it’s totally worth it.

(Hat Tip: The Big Lead)

In other news…

[WBRS Sports]: Hockey + Cheerleaders + Sex + Lawsuit + Threeway + “more fuckable” – Pics = 9.0

[Detroit Free Press]: Look out Flip Murray, they shootin!

[Encarta]: Bill Nye the Science Guy’s fascinating explanation of the Gyroball

[Battle of the Surfaces]: Exactly what nobody was dying to see

[Star-Telegram]: Moose Johnston’s wife is tough as nails

[Big Show Baseball]: A-Rod is off to such a good start that Yankees fans are even including him in their best of all time lists

And finally, our quote of the day comes from Phoenix Coyotes CEO Jeff Shumway:


Players will say they want to be in Phoenix… That means the weather is good, the golf is good … What they mean is they want to retire in Phoenix. What we need are guys who want to play hockey in Phoenix.

Categories
Tennessee Titans

Vince Young ain’t afraid of no curse

Vince Young is one of the hottest young commodities in the NFL and on Wednesday he appeared on Jimmy Kimmel’s show and discussed several important topics.

1. The Madden Jinx

2. The Rose Bowl

3. Getting shafted by Houston

4. Money, money, money

5. Rapping (don’t worry Ron Artest, your side job is safe)

Oddly enough, Pee Wee Herman somehow ended up on the same couch with the Longhorn legend which means that little perv got top billing. Now we see why Kimmel is stuck coming on at 1:00 in the morning.

Categories
Green Bay Packers

Odds and Ends: Koren Robinson M.D. (Monitored Daily)

Koren Robinson has some serious issues he needs to take care of, but since the police decided to let him out of jail, for now, they had to go high-tech to keep an eye on their inmate over the remaining 45 days of his sentence while also working at a local hospital. The cop fleeing, drunken driving, substance abusing Robinson was outfitted with an electronic monitoring device and released on April 7. Too bad the Packers don’t have that kind of technology to keep a watch over their investment with.

In other news…

[WWLTV.com]: Pokey Chatman wants to have sex with her players AND get paid for it. Good luck with that.

[SportsbyBrooks.com]: Louis Gossett Jr. likes going to Lakers games; he just doesn’t like to pay for it.

[IHT.com]: The Japanese sure know how to motivate their players.

[Chron.com]: Apparently New York signed some hot shot soccer star, or so we’re told.

[Our Book of Scrap]: Cubs fans like their beer

[Deadspin]: We’d hit it. (The woman, not the 15-year-old boy.)

And finally, we have a perfect example of why kids shouldn’t smoke. Not only will it make you smell bad, turn your teeth yellow and possibly give you cancer, but it could get you thrown in the slammer. Well, that’s what happened to these kids in Iowa after police charged them with the theft of more 500 cartons of cigs. In related news, Vlade Divac wants to know why he hasn’t received his weekly shipment of menthols yet.

Categories
Boston Red Sox

Pizza hurling Sox fan had extra aggression on his pie

Everyone has gone to the ballpark with the hopes of catching a prized souvenir to proudly show off to your friends for the rest of your days. Brookline Sole had similar intentions when he took in Monday’s game between the Red Sox and Angels at Fenway, but what he didn’t expect was that his dreams would end with a slice of pie to his face.

As J.D. Drew’s foul pop-up sailed into the stands, Sole saw his moment to shine but ended up in a minor collision with Angels’ outfielder Garret Anderson as the ball of his dreams bounced away. If that’s not bad enough, Sole had pissed off another fan, Matt Madore, a few rows back and he decided that this would be the perfect time to exact his revenge on Sole by hurling a large slice of cheese pizza at him. Madore’s buddy, Danny Kelly gave some insight into the hilarious incident that got his friend ejected from the game. Turns out Sole had been poking fun at the fellas for bringing a large pizza to the game.

They had been giving us (expletive) about it,” Madore said. “Next thing I know, there’s a fly ball to left field and it goes foul and my buddy says, `You want some pizza now?’ And he hits him right in the face. Hey, the guy wasn’t paying attention. When you’re in the stands you’ve got to be ready for anything – a foul ball, a flying slice of pizza, everything.

The announcers’ reactions during the recap of the fiasco are absolutely priceless, and luckily for us they keep it up for a good two minutes.

Links:

[BostonHerald.com]: Pepperoni with that? Flying pizza at Fens

Categories
New York Rangers

Joakim Noah finally has some competition on the dance floor

Remember when Joakim Noah started having a seizure on the court after Florida won the SEC championship game? Well, apparently he’s not the only athlete who has absolutely zero rhythm and zero shame when it comes to their celebrations, or in this case preparations. Just check out Ryan Hollweg before the first game between the Rangers and Thrashers.

What’s most compelling about his routine is that he managed to seamlessly transition between a cartwheel, the robot and the sprinkler. We would like to see Clyde Drexler or Heather Mills pull that off.

Categories
General Sports

The 30 sluttiest athletes of all time


We found this truly excellent list via Fark of the 30 sluttiest athletes of all time as ranked by Nerve. Wow. The things you learn on this list. By the way, the list itself is PNSFW.

Here are some highlights:

  • Arnold Schwarzeneggar teaches English by trying to make a woman blow a carrot (around the 4:30 mark)
  • David Cone once jerked off in front of a groupie in the bullpen
  • Chipper Jones is the baby daddy of a Hooter’s waitress
  • The British term for “running a train” is “roasting”
  • Some soccer goalie got “pegged” by his girlfriend
  • Joe DiMaggio was a frequenter of whorehouses

The usual suspects (Shawn Kemp, Derek Jeter, Wilt) are on the list too but it’s the random stuff that’s insane. Kudos to Nerve for including the Dikembe “Who Wants to Sex” Mutombo at #18.

And finally, watching this next clip will make you about 1.3% gayer but it is hilarious. We’ve never even heard about this before but it’s like what would happen if Will Ferrell was a figure skater…. wait a minute… that would be a great movie!