Tag: funny

Categories
General Sports

The real beauty of live TV is that it can go so horribly wrong

We’ve all seen some pretty stupendous blunders while watching the sports segment of the news on the local affiliate. Sometimes the sports guy rips a fart and then uncontrollably laughs about his flatulence. Other times they just freeze up and stammer over every word. But then you’ve got those rare times when the blooper isn’t even the reporter’s fault. Of course, that doesn’t make it any less funny.

One note to all you aspiring TV talents out there: turn your mic off when you’re not on-air because we don’t want to ever hear Bob Sports Guy take a live microphone into the can.

Categories
All Other Sports

Athletes have some big mouths and we are so thankful for it

Sports are best known for the drama, spectacle and pure athleticism that surround the competition, but there’s another reason that we watch sports and it has nothing to do with offense, defense or special teams. It has to do with the whacky stuff that comes outta athletes’ mouths nowadays. We’d love to say that we’ve spent hours pouring over all the post game interviews, tv appearances and press conferences that have transpired over the years, but, of course, ESPN beat us to the punch. So, here are the Top 10 One Liners in sports history:

Hey, we’re usually not big fans of the SportsCenter losers, but if there hard work gets us outta the office a little earlier today then we’ve gotta give a Stu Scott sized shout-out to our new homies in Connecticut. So, this is for you guys: “BOOOOOOOOOO-YAAAAAAA!!”

Categories
Kansas City Chiefs

Chiefs training camp just got side-splittingly creepy

We don’t really care what professional athletes do in their spare time as long as it’s not murdering dogs. So, we have absolutely no problem with ballers indulging in the most irresistible temptation of every major city. No, not the local marijuana supply; we’re talking about the city’s fine gentleman’s establishments. However, there are signs that you’re favorite athlete could be spending a little too much time in front of the smoky stage. For starters, they might begin imitating their preferred dancer’s routine. At least that’s what Kansas City Chiefs safety Bernard Pollard did.

Uh, gross…but very entertaining. In fact, we gotta admit that those were some of the sweetest dance moves we’ve seen since the Rangers Ryan Hollweg showed us how his favorite pole dancer gets down:

Links:

[TheBigLead.com]: Dancin’ in the Locker Room, Electric Boogaloo

Categories
New York Giants

We know about hairy palms, but what causes purple palms?


New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey just got punk’d. But don’t expect him to be appearing with that douche Ashton Kutcher on MTV anytime soon because this prank wasn’t some elaborate scheme concocted the notorious MILFaholic. Nope, this was an inside job and Shockey is determined to get to the bottom of it.

The crap hit the fan after Tuesday’s practice when Shockey went to sign some autographs and when he pulled off his gloves his left hand was stained purple with dye that banks use to mark money. The embarrassment of the stain should last for days, but that’s nothing compared to the eternal embarrassment Shockey lives with daily. Nevertheless, he was pissed.

Dead man walking,” he warned

Apparently, guard Rich Seubert is the resident prankster and while all the fingers are pointing directly at him, he swears up and down that he had nothing to do with the glove conspiracy.

Everyone thinks it’s me,” said Seubert, who offered “a cash reward” to anyone who revealed the mastermind behind the purple hand. “I think it was the ballboys. They’re all getting dumped in the cold tub.

Links:

[NYPost.com]: Prankster has Jeremy in rage

Categories
New England Patriots

Tom Brady is Tom Brady’s biggest fan

The NFL season is just about to get underway and for all the dudes out there that means Sundays full of beers and barbeque and Monday Night Football/poker night at your buddy’s pad. But for the ladies, the kickoff to the NFL season has a whole other significance: its Tom Brady time!

Rickey Henderson and Chad Johnson better watch out because Tom Brady refers to himself in the third person more than either of those two loudmouths. And who knew that Brady had a persona bigger than Bill Brasky’s? No wonder chicks like Gisele are throwing themselves at his feet.

Categories
Pittsburgh Steelers

The Steelers road trip demands get revealed


You’ve probably seen some of those whacky demands that pop stars make when they take their multi-million dollar acts on the road. Well, NFL football teams are some pretty big performers in their own right and when they travel, they gotta have things just they way they want `em. If you thought that Maria Carey was a diva, just get a load of the 17-page hotel checklist that the Steelers are insisting on. Here’s some highlights:

Players are not permitted to have alcohol in their room, please do not stock the mini-bar with alcohol.

Include the following bottled condiments:
Heinz Ketchup (MUST BE HEINZ)

The bedroom of Dan Rooney must have foam rubber pillows.

Garrett Giemont or Jack Kearney will meet security on one of the players’ floors at 10:45 PM for player bed check.

At omelet station have the following items: diced chicken breast, cheese, mushrooms, bell peppers, ham, bacon, onions, tomatoes, salsa, etc. Also, please provide three or four portable burners.

Gatorade will be shipped to the hotel. Place Gatorade and bottled water in an ice chest near elevators on each player floor.

Block the players on one floor if possible. If players can’t be on one floor, then they must be on consecutive floors. There should be no other hotel guests on a player floor. Steelers’ staff members are okay.

The Steelers might be a little finicky about how they get treated on the road, but they are professional athletes after all so, we’re going to give them a pass. And at least the team is concerned about what the players consume while away from home. Heck, if we were on the road as much as these guys, our list would resemble something more along the lines of this.

Links:

[ThePittsburghChannel.com]: Steelers Hotel Demands Leaked Online
[TheSmokingGun.com]: Are You Ready For Some Bed Check?

Categories
College Football

Chocolate milk and Gatorade: Is It In You?


The Washington Huskies football team, like most college campuses around the nation, is getting jacked up for the upcoming season. They players are on the field, running drills, smacking pads and sweating out tons of vital vitamins and essential minerals. But don’t worry; Tyrone Willingham has a secret weapon: requiring players to slam a bottle of Gatorade and a carton of chocolate milk before leaving the practice field. Uh, YUCK!

It was good. I love chocolate milk anyway,” said Willingham, who tried the combination in front of his players at the start of practice earlier this week.

“I check to make sure as much as possible what is going on and what they’re going through. There are some things that I don’t have to experience because I’ve already done them, but in this case I hadn’t done that. So I wanted to see what it was, the combination, and get a feel for it.

According to a study, there are no significant differences between the typical dehydration drinks out there and a good ol’ glass of moo-juice. Well, apparently they haven’t looked into our favorite sports drink: Playa-Ade.

Links:

[KOMOTV.com]: Got milk? The Huskies do, and its chocolate

Categories
Dallas Cowboys

Jerry Jones has been spending a little too much time with T.O.

Anyone that is familiar with Jerry Jones knows that he’s a crude, shrewd business man who will do whatever he believes is right in order to improve his team. Of course, his tendency to delve into matters which should probably be handled by the coaches of the team has rubbed some lots of people the wrong way over the years. But forget everything you’ve ever known about Michael Jackson Jones because we just found out that he can cut a serious rug!

We’ve only got one thing to say to that, “HOW `BOUT THEM COWBOYS!”

Categories
Cleveland Browns

Now that the toilets work, Cleveland’s ready for another $#!tty season


Around 300 suckers volunteers spent about half an hour on Wednesday walking around Cleveland Browns Stadium with the sole purpose of flushing all 1,500 toilets and urinals. Man, talk about a crappy job! Apparently, there was a massive leakage problem during a recent concert at the stadium that left the Browns’ locker room completely flooded. After hunting around for the problem, officials discovered that some plastic valves within the toilets were not working correctly which caused them to overflow. However, now that the problem has been fixed and the flushing test was successful, the stadium is ready to host the NFL preseason game between the Browns and Chiefs on Saturday.

We’re glad to hear that there are willing citizens to make sure that all the deposits made in the stadium’s bathrooms go down and not out of the toilets, but we were totally disappointed to hear that the Browns basically raped them for their services.

Volunteers received a bag of chips and soda, and they were given a chance to walk around the stadium.

We know that this was on a volunteer basis, but c’mon! At least give `em a cheesy t-shirt or a signed Brady Quinn picture. Hell, we won’t even flush our own toilets for less than a No. 5 combo meal from Burger King.

Links:

[NBC4i.com]: Browns Stadium Toilets Repaired, Pass Flush Test

Categories
Soccer

Soccer team gets popped by undercover cop for soliciting prostitution


Soccer players are no different than the rest of us…actually, they are because most people can resist the urge to pick up a skanky hooker on the street corner. After all, she is a skanky hooker on the street corner! Unfortunately for the Half Moon Bay soccer team, eight of their players had no such self control when recently visiting Springfield, Oregon for a tournament.

Apparently, there was a ho that they just couldn’t take their eyes off and when they approached her, it turned out that the prostitute was actually an undercover cop. D-oh!

It is a shame that we have this many people coming down, looking for love in all the wrong places,” Springfield police Sgt. Rich Charboneau said. “We’re going to continue doing these (stings) until our numbers are down.

While we would like to focus all the humiliation onto the soccer dudes, we’ve gotta admit that lots of other people got busted for the same thing in the same sting over the weekend. In addition to the eight players, 20 others were arrested for misdemeanor prostitution solicitation charges with the youngest being 19 and the oldest being a wrinkly 75.

We’re not surprised by the behavior of these guys at all and, in fact, we’re a little relieved. After all, it’s a helluva lot more normal than how this futboler decides to get his kinky kicks.

Links:

[CBS5.com]: Half Moon Bay Soccer Team Nabbed For Prostitution