Are you a squatter? If you’re going to the Olympics you better be

Beijing ran into yet another roadblock as they prepare to host the 2008 Olympics. Now it seems there is a problem with, of all things, the toilets. Apparently, most of the Chinese are squatters; not the homeless kind of squatters who live in abandoned buildings, but actual squatters…you know, when they go. Problem is, most of the foreigners coming for the Games like to rest their bottoms right on that stinky, piss-stained seat where thousands, nay, millions of butts have sat before. What the hell is up with those wacky Chinese?

The issue came up again over the weekend when the San Diego Padres played the Los Angeles Dodgers at the new Olympic baseball venue. The portable toilets trucked in were of the style used widely in Asia, but rarely in the West.

Yao [Hui, deputy director of venue management for the Beijing organizers] suggested it would be difficult to change every permanent toilet in the 37 venues, 31 of which are in Beijing. So he said the focus would be on satisfying three groups of visitors: athletes, journalists and the Olympic family, meaning primarily VIPs. …

“Most of the Chinese people are used to the squat toilet, but nowadays more and more people demand sit-down toilets,” Yao said. “However, it will take some time for this transition.

Hold on just a second. You mean we’re supposed to get up and use a toilet during the big events? Geez, things really are different in China.


[]: Toilets Could Be Olympic-Sized Problem

Cleveland Browns

Now that the toilets work, Cleveland’s ready for another $#!tty season

Around 300 suckers volunteers spent about half an hour on Wednesday walking around Cleveland Browns Stadium with the sole purpose of flushing all 1,500 toilets and urinals. Man, talk about a crappy job! Apparently, there was a massive leakage problem during a recent concert at the stadium that left the Browns’ locker room completely flooded. After hunting around for the problem, officials discovered that some plastic valves within the toilets were not working correctly which caused them to overflow. However, now that the problem has been fixed and the flushing test was successful, the stadium is ready to host the NFL preseason game between the Browns and Chiefs on Saturday.

We’re glad to hear that there are willing citizens to make sure that all the deposits made in the stadium’s bathrooms go down and not out of the toilets, but we were totally disappointed to hear that the Browns basically raped them for their services.

Volunteers received a bag of chips and soda, and they were given a chance to walk around the stadium.

We know that this was on a volunteer basis, but c’mon! At least give `em a cheesy t-shirt or a signed Brady Quinn picture. Hell, we won’t even flush our own toilets for less than a No. 5 combo meal from Burger King.


[]: Browns Stadium Toilets Repaired, Pass Flush Test