Odds and Ends: USC! USC! USC!

Posted on Mon Aug 11, 2008 at 12:14:42 PM EST in College
More on: college football, Olympics, UFC, soccer, video (all tags)

We can't wait for the college football season to arrive, but it's not for the reasons you might think. Sure, we love the history-filled rivalries, the tailgating and the school pride, but more than anything, we love the cheerleaders. What? Did you expect us to say the option offense or something? Here's the latest preseason top 10 rankings for this year.

10. Alabama's Auburn University tops off the list at number 10. Six of this sexy squad's cheerleaders were named Who's Who Among Students in American Universities and Colleges.

9. Hailing from sunny California are the ladies of San Diego State. SD State is not just among the top hottest cheerleaders but they also took home third place in the 2008 College Cheerleading and Dance Team Nationals.

8. Reigning at number eight, are the Clemson Cheerleaders all the way from South Carolina.

7. Representing the home of Britney Spears and the Louisiana State Tigers are the LSU Cheerleaders at lucky number seven.

6. The Ohio State Cheerleaders made an appearance earlier this year at CBS and now they are making an appearance on the top ten list at number six.

5. Stirring up the fans and tipping off the top five are the Oregon State Cheerleaders.

4. Everything is bigger in Texas, especially the talent - at number four are the University of Texas Cheerleaders.

3. The recipients of 16 national titles, it's no wonder the University of Kentucky Cheerleaders are at number three.

2. Holding their own with 5 national title victories are the ladies from Kentucky's University of Louisville.

1. And the number one hottest cheerleaders are the USC Cheerleaders aka The Song Girls. These ladies bring good luck, cheers and songs to the devoted Trojan fans.

In other news...

[Sports Cucumber]: America officially no longer cares about men's gymnastics

[Gossip on Sports]: President Bush salutes an American flag, er, ass. Whatever

[YardBarker.com]: Any idea who won between Jon Fitch and Georges St. Pierre?

[The Beautiful Game]: Always keep your head on a swivel when watching soccer

[NYPost.com]: The Boss is set to rock the Super Bowl

[Denver Stiffs]: The hardest man to trade in the NBA?...

[The Spoiler]: Spain is soooo totally mature

[Tirico Suave]: Kobe gets funky while riding the pine

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]: "The continuing adventures of Tony and Jess"

[StupidVideos.com]: A hockey player with no aim

[The World of Isaac]: It's not Erin Andrews, but we'll take it

[The Love of Sports]: Top 20 TD Celebrations

[YuppiePunk.org]: Dennis Rodman's hair suddenly doesn't look so bad

[YardBarker.com]: Can you name 10 RBs who make more money than Brian Westbrook? You got three minutes. Go!

And finally, here's a good way to impress your friends...and make them fear you.

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Anderson Silva is officially the king of MMA

Posted on Mon Jul 21, 2008 at 11:59:25 AM EST in Other Sports
More on: MMA, UFC, Anderson Silva, James Irvin, video, ouch (all tags)

If anyone out there was foolish enough to doubt the power of Anderson Silva, they got a serious wakeup call on Saturday night upon witnessing the Spider step up in weight and waste James Irvin is about a minute.

Hey! Was that Mandy Moore?? We were distracted by the gigantic cut under Irvin's eye and this wicked knockout.

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Odds and Ends: More testicle news than you can stuff in a sack

Posted on Thu Jul 10, 2008 at 12:38:20 PM EST in MLB
More on: Diamondbacks, Chris Snyder, ouch, soccer, video, basketball, video games, UFC, NBA, high school football, Yankees, Tony Romo, Odds and Ends (all tags)

Awful Announcing brought our attention to a peak and our breakfast back into our mouths when they relayed a story from ABC News concerning what lies ahead for Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder and his recently fractured testicle. Here are some of the chilling details.

"I don't think [Synder will] have a difficult time with it," he [Jack Llewellyn] said. "With catchers it's a little bit of a different situation, because catchers are usually perceived as the more rugged guys on a team. They're used to being hit by foul tips."

Still, a testicular fracture is not something that is easily shaken off. In simple terms, a testicular fracture involves a "crack" in the testicle; the organ retains its shape, but it is damaged. Though different from a testicular rupture, which involves a complete hemorrhage of the testicle, a fracture in this delicate organ can be extraordinarily painful -- and may even require surgery, in many cases.

"It is indeed extraordinarily painful," said Dr. Mark Litwin, professor of urology and public health at the University of California at Los Angeles. Litwin adds that the natural vulnerability of testicles is "one of these anatomical curiosities med students never understand."

"The placement of ovaries makes sense. ... [Testicles] are in the worst place you could put them. They really are in harm's way."

Hey, Doc, you don't need to tell wrestler D.J. St. James about that.

St. James was a freshman wrestler competing at a high school tournament six years ago. During one match, he was performing a single leg takedown on his opponent when he sustained a sudden and surprising injury.

"When he fell down, his foot came up between my legs," St. James said. "His foot exploded my testicle."

St. James didn't realize the extent of his injury at first. He finished the match with a victory. But the seriousness of the situation soon hit.

"After I walked off the mat, I fell to the ground when I felt the pain," he recalled. "I can't describe how much it hurt. ... It swelled up bigger than my fist."

Sweet.

In other news...

[Sports Crackle Pop]: We got two words for ya: Drunk referee

[JarrettCarter.com]: High school basketball players strike back

[OnlineSportsFanatic.com]: NCAA football is right around the corner...NCAA Football 09, that is

[MMA Chump]: Forrest Griffin and Rampage Jackson get suspended following UFC 86

[Grab Your Balls]: Kevin Durant might be a Thundercat. Snarf, snarf!

[NewsOK.com]: Michael Vick's exact opposite

[Lion in Oil]: What do the sons of Wayne Gretzky, Joe Montana and Will Smith have in common? The gridiron, of course

[The Angry T]: So much money and, yet, such horrible taste in ink

[People.com]: Tony Romo is soooo whipped

[Tirico Suave]: Real life Tony Soprano waves Jeter home

And finally, a day at the beach with a sweet voice-over.

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Odds and Ends: Aliens spotted at Wimbledon

Posted on Mon Jul 07, 2008 at 12:56:44 PM EST in Other Sports
More on: tennis, Wimbledon, Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, aliens, softball, babes, Troy Tulowitzki, UFC, MLB, LeBron James, California, video, Odds and Ends (all tags)

If you watched the instant classic between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal on the Wimbledon grass then you know all about the celebrities in attendance. Well, you at least know that Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani were there because the cameras showed the power couple at least once every ten minutes. However, you might have been too star struck to notice the "others" who showed up to the matches.

With the blankest of blank expressions on their faces, these mysterious figures have been popping up in the most unlikely of places.

The faceless mutants have a penchant for A-list celebrity bashes and have been spotted at Elton John's White tie ball and Harrods summer sale, opened by Sex and the City star Kim Cattrall.

With a membrane of skin stretched tightly over their eyes, noses and mouths, the alien-like figures were most recently snapped 'watching' a match perched on Murray Mount at Wimbledon.

Oh, those were aliens!? We thought those faceless freaks were this dude and Joan Rivers.

In other news...

[EBSports.net]: Batter, and penis, up!

[The World of Isaac]: God bless, America and God bless, American flag bikinis

[Cuzoogle.com]: Troy Tulowitzki joins an elite club

[The Caveman Network]: Rampage whooped by UFC's new light-heavyweight champion Forrest Griffin

[The Sports Muffin]: The American League's flubs and snubs

[FilteringCraig.com]: The Nets aren't the only club looking to sign LeBron James

[The Big Lead]: Epic, epic, epic Wimbledon final on Sunday

[SportsAgentBlog.com]: It's all about the mo-ney!

[The Sports Hernia Blog]: MLB unveils the new logo for Tampa Bay

[CalBearsShop.com]: The Golden Bears football team gets a new wardrobe

And finally, freestyle swinging.

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Odds and Ends: Chris Snyder redefines the word injury

Posted on Wed Jul 02, 2008 at 01:27:41 PM EST in MLB
More on: Chris Snyder, ouch, Diamondbacks, Olympics, Manny Pacquiao, Alex Rodriguez, MLB, UFC, video, John Daly, Odds and Ends (all tags)

Other than gasping, dropping to our knees, rolling around on the ground and muttering "uggggh" and "owwww" under our breath, we really don't know what else to say about this.

Catcher Chris Snyder left Monday night's game after getting hit by a foul tip in the groin area. About an hour before Tuesday's game the Diamondbacks put him on the 15-day disabled list with a left testicular fracture.

Snyder will undergo surgery on Wednesday with Melvin hoping his return is relatively soon.

"Hopefully looking at a 15-day period, where he is back after the All-Star break," Melvin said after the D-Backs 8-6 loss to the Brewers on Tuesday night.

Fractured testicle!? We didn't even know it was possible to fracture your nuts. Smash, yes. Crush, yes. Pulverize, yes. But fracture? Ugh, we're starting to get dizzy just talking about it.

In other news...

[The Beardown]: 20 decent reasons to watch the upcoming Olympics

[The Caveman Network]: Manny Pacquiao = Urijah Faber

[HotStoveNewYork.com]: Alex Rodriguez is secretly seeing a dude?!? Nevermind, it's just Madonna

[Lion in Oil]: Best. Ringtone. Ever.

[The Big Picture]: What's your favorite MLB lid?

[All Balls]: Best stars meet sports moments

[MMAChump.com]: Dana White is a big softy

[eBaumsWorld.com]: Cheerleader gets cold cocked by an errant pass

[Home Run Derby]: Mariah Carey, eat your heart out

[PartMule.com]: John Daly played beer, golf teed...huh?

And finally, Scott Van Pelt suddenly sounds like the smoothest voicemail pickup artist ever.

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Odds and Ends: OneNewsNow.com hops into the trading card game

Posted on Tue Jul 01, 2008 at 01:00:44 PM EST in MLB
More on: cards, Glenn Dorsey, Wes Welker, Jim Rome, UFC, Baywatch, MLB, golf, strange, Jay Bilas, Dwyane Wade, Stephon Marbury, video, Odds and Ends (all tags)

Trade you a Jack Glasscock for your
Cunnilingus

After OneNewsNow.com's embarrassing/hilarious mix-up involving sprinter Tyson Homosexual Gay, it was announced that the Christian news website will begin creating sports trading cards. Basically, they're going to be similar to Garbage Pail Kids, but without the Scratch `n Stink cards. Luckily, TiricoSuave.com was able to get their hands on some of the high-demand cards before they hit the streets. If you thought Potty Scotty and Jason Basin or Adam Bomb and Blasted Billy were hilarious then you'll love these duos.

Chubby Cox - Girthy Members

Dick Trickle - Phallic Secretion

Albert Pujols - Albert Sodomy Zone

Rusty Kuntz - Unkempt Vaginas

We are absolutely dying to see what they come up with for Lucious Pusey and Craphonso Thorpe.

In other news...

[Arrowhead Addict]: He's just a rookie, but Glenn Dorsey already has one of the best nicknames in the NFL

[Huggin Harold Reynolds]: "Wes Welker, tell me how my ass tastes"

[FoxNews.com]: "Barack Obama, tell me how my ass tastes"

[TheMMAPost.com]: So, where you watchin' the big fight on Saturday night?

[The World of Isaac]: How's your favorite Baywatch babe holding up after 10 years?

[Bugs & Cranks]: MLB's early season heroes

[The Sporting Blog]: Weedwhacker meets golf club

[The Love of Sports]: Baseball's 50 strangest moments

[Awful Announcing]: Length? Stretch? Elongated? Extend? Considerable linear extent in space? What the hell was Jay Bilas talking about?

[Deuce of Davenport]: Dwyane Wade and the hardwood. We'll leave it at that.

And finally, it's the one-year anniversary of this.

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Odds and Ends: So, you think your fantasy team name is creative, huh?

Posted on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 12:50:21 PM EST in Other Sports
More on: fantasy sports, Michael Wilbon, Forrest Griffin, Quinton Jackson, Terrelle Pryor, Becky Hammon, NBA, Notre Dame, Urban Meyer, UFC, Dana White, pro wrestling, Tiger Woods, Jeff Van Gundy, Odds and Ends (all tags)

"Itchy Pujols": now that's creative!

There's no avoiding it any longer, fantasy sports are American males', and some females', primary obsession in life. You might say that you love your spouse and your kids, but we know where the true emotion lies. Remember when you blew off going to church so you could fine-tune your lineup before the early kickoffs? Or what about the time you skipped your kid's recital in order to watch a Monday Night Football blowout because Jason Elam was your kicker and you trailed by seven points? Of course, the biggie was when you forgot about your anniversary while pondering over the name of your team. Well, thanks to FantasyTeamNames.net, you can avoid the last disaster by simply stealing someone else's creative moniker. Here's a list of the current top ten fantasy team names.

10.Cleavage Rocks
9.Suck My Ditka
8.Bartolo Colonoscopy
7.Fuhrious
6.Vanek at the Disco
5.Human Growth Whore Moans
4.Travis Henry is My Dad
3.My Vick In A Box
2.Itchy Pujols
1.Byrnes When I Peavy

In other news...

[WashingtonPost.com]: Willie Buns explains his run-in with sex kitten/geezer skeezer Kendra

[MMAMania.com]: Forget about Kimbo for a second. Rampage vs. Griffin is right around the corner!

[WaitingForNextYear.com]: One day closer to the field for Terrelle Pryor

[Newsday.com]: What?! Becky Hammon is a filthy traitor!? Wait, who's Becky Hammon?

[OnDeckFantasy.com]: Top 10 NBA ballers that you'd probably consider punching in the face

[Bleacher Report]: Notre Dame hates Urban Meyer

[MMA Stomping Grounds]: Dana White still has a big [expletive deleted] announcement to make, just you [expletive deleted] wait and see

[phillyBurbs.com]: Wrestling's greatest feuds - Taz vs. Sabu

[Tirico Suave]: Tiger Woods, you do not impress Harvey Bars

[YouTube.com]: Wii Fit, it's not just for chicks anymore

And finally, from Awful Announcing, more Deep Thoughts with our boy Jeff Van Gundy.

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You haven't seen a knock out until you've seen an old school UFC knock out

Posted on Tue Jun 17, 2008 at 09:29:06 AM EST in Other Sports
More on: UFC, knock out, video, ouch, MMA (all tags)

The hungry actor over at The Hungry Actor is an MMA fan and he's got one very difficult question for all you UFC fans out there: What is Your Favorite Knockout?

Whew! Tough choice, but our vote is split between the opening elbow smashing crucifixion or the furious hands of the vicious Vitor Belfour. While we know this video is dedicated to UFC KOs, we'd still like to throw this devastating blow into the competition.

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Top 10 Dana White Quotes

Posted on Fri Jun 13, 2008 at 10:29:36 AM EST in Other Sports
More on: MMA, Dana White, UFC, quotes (all tags)

Dana White is getting a lot of guff over his announcement that he had a shocking announcement and the subsequent announcement that the shocking announcement is being delayed. So, rumors and anger are running rampant across the blogosphere. Many think White is just a putz - right, Tito? - while others think he's a cunning and shrewd business man. Personally, we think he's a brilliant guy and we're willing to wait on the big announcement because we feel certain he'll deliver. After all, this is one of the men who helped resurrect the UFC from ridicule and disgust to the single most successful mixed martial arts promotion on the planet. So, while we wait, here's a list of the "Top 10 Dana White Quotes" of all-time according the fellas over the TheMMAPost.com.

10. Hell, forget about college. I barely finished high school.

9. I'm a guy that did exactly what he wanted to do. When you do that the money follows.

8. Boxing is a road map of what not to do. The greedy promoters basically killed the sport by taking it off free TV.

7. If you take four street corners, and on one they are playing baseball, on another they are playing basketball and on the other, street hockey. On the fourth corner, a fight breaks out. Where does the crowd go? They all go to the fight.

6. The deal-closers are the live events. If you come to a live event, you leave that place done, you're hooked, you're in. It is the greatest live sporting event you will ever see.

5. You show up at a [Los Angeles] Lakers game, you'll never meet Kobe Bryant. But when you show up to a UFC event, odds are pretty damn good that you're not only going to meet Liddell, but he's going to sign what you need signed and take a picture with you.

4. A lot of times, kids go to college and take a major because they do what they think they're supposed to do. I told them I believe 90 percent of America gets up in the morning and drives to a job they hate. That could have happened to me in the hotel industry.

3. That's one of the things when you go to a UFC event live, the energy in the place is crazy. People are there because they're passionate about it.

2. It's really the last nail in the coffin with the media not giving us the credibility and not looking at us as a real sport. The cover of Sports Illustrated, the talk shows - we're there. We've finally arrived.

1. People don't realise what gifted athletes these guys are. Think about how hard it is to become a professional boxer. These guys are without doubt the greatest athletes in the world.

Wait, what about "No, it's Playboy, asshole!"?

Links:
[TheMMAPost.com]: Top 10 Dana White Quotes

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Odds and Ends: Chris Simms is a cry baby

Posted on Tue Jun 10, 2008 at 12:40:33 PM EST in NFL
More on: Chris Simms, Buccaneers, Jon Gruden, NFL, Big Brown, Cedric Benson, Bears, Jason Caffey, Vinny Del Negro, Bulls, Vince McMahon, UFC, video, Odds and Ends (all tags)

Chris Simms is mad as hell and he's not going to take it anymore. The former Texas quarterback ripped Jon Gruden and virtually ended his relationship with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Monday when he claimed to have become a "hostage" of the franchise.

"I feel like I'm being held hostage," Simms said. "I hate that all this has happened. I love Tampa. My family loves it here. But I've been quiet long enough. I feel like it's time to let everybody know why I'm not out there."...

"I don't know how anybody can expect me to go back there and look coach Gruden in the eye and believe the relationship is hunky dory after some of the things that were said and done," Simms said. "Things were handled wrongly from the business end of it and definitely things were handled wrongly as far as how you treat a person. ...

"How can I look (Gruden) in the eye when I know he wanted me cut last year. He did not want me to be part of the team and I have a lot of resentment about that. Nine or 10 months after a serious injury, I put my life on the line, it was the most serious injury they've ever been associated with, I worked as hard as I could to get back and he wasn't even going to give me a full year.

"I have a serious issue with that, I really do." ...

"He asked me, 'Is this injury in your head?'" Simms said. "I found that completely ridiculous. I was going through a tough time. I kept my mouth shut all summer. I felt I was betrayed to a degree. Nobody took time to talk to me on a personal level and see how I was doing."

Geez, what a loser. Even daytime soap operas think Simms is being overly dramatic.

In other news...

[YardBarker.com]: Another day, another bobblehead

[Your Face is a Sports Blog]: Big Brown and Tim Donaghy have a lot in common

[The Big Lead]: Apparently, Chicago's fans aren't the only ones who hate Cedric Benson

[TMZ.com]: Jason Caffey is a dead-beat dad times 10

[CBS2.com]: Vinny Del Negro could be the new head baby Bull

[The Sports Muffin]: Vince McMahon gets tossed into UFC announcement rumors

[SI.com]: Jason Peter is a maniac!

[Busted Coverage]: Detroit reporter says Pittsburgh has better hockey fans

[FunnyOrDie.com]: WTF?!?

And finally, goodbye testicles.

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