Categories
College Football

Maybe `For Sale’ signs are tokens of affection in Tallahassee


Most of you probably didn’t even realize that Miami played Florida State this weekend. We can’t blame you; who wants to watch a rivalry match between a pair irrelevant, mediocre teams when the SEC is handing out early Halloween goodies like South Carolina/Vandy, Florida/Kentucky and LSU/Auburn. Well, even if a majority of the nation was unaware of the match-up, that’s doesn’t mean the Seminoles’ 37-29 loss went unnoticed.

After a tough night at the office and a near sleepless night at home, Florida State coach Bobby Bowden couldn’t help but notice the large “For Sale” sign on his lawn as he backed out of the driveway Sunday.

The big, bright red sign was mighty hard to miss sitting on the Bowden’s carefully manicured lush green lawn at one of the most prominent addresses in the capital city.

“It ain’t there now,” chuckled Bowden, who removed the sign. “I ain’t selling. I’ll save it for when I get ready to move.”

A prankster had placed the sign on the Bowden yard in the overnight darkness after archrival Miami defeated the Seminoles 37-29 with 13 points in the final 1:15.

Bowden said it reminded him of his days in West Virginia in the 1970s when he was once hung in effigy as well after a loss.

Don’t you people remember all the good times good ol’ Bobby made possible? Sure, he’s hit a bit of a rough patch recently, but throwing down a “For Sale” sign into his yard in the middle of the night is pretty cold. It’s not hanging him in effigy cold, but it’s still pretty frigid. It’s definitely on par with the cheap shot Glenn Dorsey got blindsided by.

Links:

[SportingNews.com]: Prankster puts `For Sale’ sign on Bowden’s lawn

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All Other Sports

Down! Set! Blue 42! Blue 42! Hut! Hut! Bowl!

We’re glad that there is still some fun and laughter left in bowling. After the infamous underground pug bowling scandal videos surfaced in April of `06, we weren’t sure if a game of Ten Pin would ever make us smile again.

Categories
College Football

Stanford isn’t the only major turbulence to rock USC’s world


We used to think that John Madden was a big dope for spending hours driving all across the nation in a bus instead of hopping on a plane and skipping from city to city. We used to think that Tony Kornheiser was a complete wuss because he basically injects himself with horse tranquilizers before boarding. Then we hear another horrifying in-air turbulence story and we realize that those two morons might be onto something.

The USC football team was headed to South Bend for their game against the Fighting Irish when the weather turned nasty and the plane went for a wild and unexpected detour. If USC football thought Vince Young was a bad dream come true, they were about to find out what real nightmares are all about.

There was a moment there when I was thinking, ‘This is it,’ ” Dennis Slutak, USC’s director of football operations, told The Los Angeles Times.

USC sports information director Tim Tessalone told The Associated Press on Friday that some passengers were thrown from their seats by turbulence as lightning cracked around the storm-tossed aircraft about 9 p.m. Thursday.

“It was a little bit of a roller coaster drop there for a minute,” he said. “We had some people fly out of some seats. Everybody is fine, but it was a frightening little dip there.”

The pilot aborted the approach and circled around the storm before landing without incident about 20 minutes later to the relief of the shaken team and the spouses of some staff members also on the flight, Tessalone said.

Safety Taylor Mays said he was screaming.

At their hotel, senior defensive end Lawrence Jackson said he was going to see the team trainer because a Popsicle stick had pierced the inside of his mouth during the drop.

“That was terrifying,” fullback Stanley Havili said. “I thought I was going to die.”

Quarterback John David Booty said, “It wasn’t the worst flight I’ve ever been on, but it was definitely the biggest drop.

Lighting cracking, safeties bellowing, Popsicle stick puncture wounds, contemplations of mortality: it’s all real my-life-is-flashing-before-my-eyes type stuff. Granted, the doors didn’t come flying off the hinges, but it is still gripping narrative. But we gotta wonder, was this just a case of `wrong place, wrong time’ for the Trojans or is there really something to this whole “Touchdown Jesus” thing Notre Dame’s got going?

Links:

[MSNBC]: USC rattled by turbulent flight to South Bend

Categories
Soccer

Soccer balls are basically crotch-seeking projectiles

As much as we love sports, we really can’t stand soccer. There is just absolutely nothing appealing to us about the sport. Sure, the rest of the free world can’t get enough of the stuff, but we really don’t care if we never see one more second of soccer footage for the rest of our lives. In fact, if we do see another soccer highlight then we’re going to have to…wait, what? Soccer guys getting kicked in the nads? Roll it!

We stand corrected; this sport isn’t so bad after all.

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Rest up Rockies, this might be a while


Not so Fast: The Indians, one game shy of reaching the World Series, lost to Boston in what was a must-win game for the Red Sox. Boston won only because of the efforts of their best players, both on offense and pitching. Josh Beckett remained utterly fantastic this postseason. He had 11 strikeouts and allowed one run in eight innings, improving to 3-0 in this postseason. Beckett has become one of the best playoff pitchers not just in the game today but all-time. He has a 5-2 career record in the playoffs with a 1.78 ERA and is averaging 9 strikeouts per start. Unfortunately for the Red Sox, this is the last start they can get from Beckett this series, as Game 7 if played is slated for Sunday. But the Red Sox’s 7-1 victory was not just a solo effort. Manny Ramirez, the all-time playoff home run leader, went 2-4 with an RBI; playoff monster David Ortiz had two RBIs and kept his average over .400 this postseason. For the Indians, it was another shaky start for CC Sabathia, who has let down his team with a string a poor performances in the playoffs. Fausto Carmona, who tossed a shutout in the divisional series, is looking to bounce back from a subpar Game 2 effort as he pitches in Game 6 on Saturday. The Red Sox will send Curt Schilling to the mound as they return to Fenway Park, still needing two straight wins to reach the World Series.

Choosing to Walk Away: Joe Torre was not fired as expected by some, though he still won’t be returning to the Yankees next season. The legendary, sure-fire Hall of Fame manager turned down a contract offer from George Steinbrenner. He was offered a one year deal worth $5 million, less than he had been making yet still more than any other manager in baseball. For reasons unknown, Torre turned down the offer, ending a glorious 12-year run as Yankees manager. He won 4 World Series titles and ten division championships as manager of the Yankees. No matter who replaces Torre, they will likely never come close to his success.

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All Other Sports

Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser! Pow! Right in the kisser!…

We told you about the unbelievable dangers subtly hidden within the childhood game of tug-of-war. Despite the fact that it’s played in school gymnasiums across this great nation of ours, nobody would ever expect their hands to get sliced off from participating. Well, dodgeball is another seemingly ordinary game in which people assume that the worst thing that can happen is a nerdy little kid gets whacked in the face causing his glasses to break and sending the room into hysterics. Well, that is the worst thing that can happen…for the nerdy little kid. We think it’s pretty darn funny.

Hey kid; they’re not checking on you, they’re hoping you’re bleeding.

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Dodgeball Is A Great Character Builder

Categories
General Sports

Who is that grabbing Jessica Biel’s booty? No, it’s not Jason Kidd.


As a sports blog, we probably have no legitimate reason to bring this story to you. But as men, we couldn’t pass on the opportunity and it happened at a Packers game, so what the hell!

When the Bears and the Pack hooked it up a while back, Justin Timberlake, his girlie Jessica Biel and the Dawson’s Creek dude all showed up. We’ve seen all the pictures of JT shotgunning Miller Light and schmoozing, but we never did see the one of his old lady getting her rump squeezed by another chick! Until now, that is.

According to TMZ.com (super reliable, we know):

Sources say when Timberlake turned around to chat with the ladies, Jess’s friend dropped her fondling fingers from Biel’s tush.

Dang Justin! There’s no telling what could have happened next if you hadn’t turned around. That’s it, someone get these ladies tickets for the remaining Green Bay games and, for Pete’s sake, don’t let Timberlake through the gate. Be creative and do what you gotta do. Wait, you know what would keep him occupied for hours? A Dick In A Box.

Links:

[TMZ]: Jessica Biel Gets Badonka-groped!

Categories
College Football

Mr. Over Conservative, Egotistical Football Coach

Remember the other day when we told you about the newest addition to the ultra exclusive Real Men of Genius club? No, not Mr. Overweight Model Molester and Verbal Abuser Point Guard Guy. We’re talking about Mr. Delusional, Irrational, Hopelessly Pathetic Notre Dame Football Fan. Well, move over Mr. Really Stinky Breath Breather Outer because there’s a new member of the guild. And try not to breath in his direction.

Does anybody else’s Gus Light taste a little Nutty?

Links:

[The Wizard of Odds]: Houston Nutt, a Real Man of Genius

Categories
New Jersey Nets

Apparently, Jason Kidd is a chubby chaser and not a very nice one


If the accusations are true then Jason Kidd might be enjoying the bachelor lifestyle just a bit too much. Reports surfaced that Kidd groped a model a while back and now it’s starting to sound like he wanted to throw down with the chick after she rejected his `advances.’

If we got into a fight, who do you think would win?” the 6-foot, 4-inch superstar allegedly said to the plus-sized brunette, the sources claimed.

As The Post reported exclusively, the alleged groping occurred early Oct. 10 at Tenjune in the West Village. Bouncers saw the towering Net and 23-year-old model exchanging words, and intervened to make sure they were seated at separate tables, sources said.

Yesterday, spokesmen for Kidd and the nightclub denied any impropriety on his part. The Nets and NBA declined to comment.

According to sources, Kidd’s hands allegedly wandered over the model’s buttocks and crotch twice, despite her protests.

Detectives are investigating possible charges of forcible touching or sex abuse in the third degree – both misdemeanors that would be written up as a desk-appearance ticket, the sources said.

“This accusation is a complete fabrication and it is sad that someone would make something like this up,” a spokesman for Kidd said.

Now, we’re not completely convinced that J-Kidd would do such a thing, but we’re not letting him off from the accusations either. After all, the guy is single, rich, in a bar, and in reach of a 23-year-old plus-size model, then, to top things off, she has the gall to blow off the All Star. If that’s not the perfect storm of groping/beating up girls then we don’t know what is.

Links:

[NYPost.com]: Kidd now accused of fight threat

Categories
MLB General

The Full Count: Indians on the doorstep


One Win Away: We are one game away from the network’s worst nightmare-an Indians-Rockies World Series. After getting crushed in Game 1 by the seemingly invincible Red Sox, the Indians gave the series a huge momentum change by scoring 7 runs in the 11th inning of Game 2. Since then, Cleveland has been nearly unstoppable. They won Game 3 to take the series lead, and on Tuesday they beat the Red Sox with ease to extend their lead to a commanding 3-1. They won 7-3 after a great performance from Paul Byrd and a seven-run fifth inning. Tim Wakefield was charged with five runs in the inning after pitching very well at the start of the game. Now the Red Sox need to win another Beckett-Sabathia matchup on Thursday or they’ll be going home.

One of the reasons the Indians have gotten this far is the pitching of Byrd and Jake Westbrook, who have actually performed better than Sabathia and Fausto Carmona this series. But the best pitching by the Indians has come from the bullpen, especially the sensational Rafael Betancourt. Betancourt has shut opponents out in 7 innings of relief this postseason. Every time he has appeared, the Indians have won. On Tuesday Betancourt was perfect through two innings to seal the deal. The Red Sox now find themselves back where they were in 2004–desperately needing a win to stay alive. If they win game 5, the series will go back to Boston–though Cleveland has shown that they can win there as well. According to ESPN.com, in MLB history only 10 teams out of 65 have come back from a 3-1 deficit. 34 of those teams lost in five games, as I predict the Red Sox will do as Sabathia bounces back from a weak earlier performance this series.