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NFL General

Pacman Jones tells us what’s wrong with the NFL drug policy


Pacman Jones is scheduled to appear in court this month for an obstruction of justice charge stemming from a fight with a police officer during a traffic stop. Pacman Jones in trouble again… yawn. (As the report mentioned, Jones has been in at least 10 off-the-field incidents involving police since being drafted.) Wake us up when he has to appear in court for the triple shooting at the Las Vegas strip club.

The Tennessean also mentions a marijuana bust last month that has since been dismissed. According to Mike Pruitt of the Fayette County Drug Task Force:


Jones showed up in a sports car as officers arrived at the home, and Pruitt smelled marijuana in the car.

“I asked him why his (Corvette) smelled so bad, and he said, ‘We were smoking it on the way down here from Nashville’.

“I asked him, ‘Why do you want to throw your career away for a bunch of marijuana junk?’ He said, ‘I know when I am going to get drug-tested, so I quit doing it.’ It’s just crazy.”

So basically, in the NFL, you can smoke weed and take HGH as much as you want because you know when the drug tests are coming and you can just take a ton of goldenseal and HGH can’t be detected in urine. Oh well, as long as we get our weekly ‘Jacked Up!’ segment, no one is complaining. Remember kids, they just play ball, they’re not role models.

Links:
[Tennessean]: Pacman faces felony charge in Georgia

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NFL General

Chris Leak makes the Wonderlic test cry


Our favorite part of the NFL combine is the wonderlic test scores that come out afterward. Remember last year when Vince Young scored a -2 and then retook the test and got a 16? Well this year’s Vince Young is Florida Gator QB Chris Leak. We’ll give this its own paragaph:

Chris Leak scored an 8 on the Wonderlic.

An 8! Remember, a score of 10 indicates that you are literate. Scoring an 8 literally means you are a moron. So why hasn’t this news been all over the press? Perhaps Vince Young set the bar so low last year that an 8 isn’t that big of a news item. Yet another championship QB in the league that can’t put on his own shoes. Psssst… the Reebok logo on the outside tells you which shoe is the left and which is the right.

To see if you’re smarter than Chris Leak (chances are yes), check out this sample wonderlic test.

Here are some other notable scores from QBs in this year’s draft:

Brady Quinn, Notre Dame: 29
Drew Stanton, Michigan State: 35
Kevin Kolb, Houston: 28
John Beck, BYU: 30
Jordan Palmer, UTEP: 23
Tyler Palko, Pittsburgh: 18

Links:
[Macmarabile.com]: NFL QB Wonderlic Scores

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NFL General

Does Michael Irvin have some unemployment in him?


Maybe that comment Michael Irvin made in December about Tony Romo having “some brothers in that line somwhere” finally caught up with him. According to the NY Post:


One industry source believes the decision has already been made, and that some at the network view the outspoken Irvin as a ticking time bomb, ready to explode into a public-relations nightmare.

ESPN did not confirm or deny the report, but issued a statement, saying: “We are currently in the process of discussing studio assignments for next season.”
There is speculation that newly retired Bill Parcells could end up at the network, but there is no indication that a deal is imminent.

Upgrading from Michael Irvin to Bill Parcells is like upgrading from Kyle Boller to Steve McNair. It won’t nearly be as fun to watch in a Titanic sort of way but at least it won’t make you cringe every 5 minutes.

What exactly will Irvin do if he’s fired from ESPN? Maybe he can team up with Bryant Gumble for the NFL Network broadcasts and make that the biggest pig fuck in the history of sports broadcasting.

Links:
[NY Post]: JD SINGIN’ THE BLUES AS GARDEN RETURN NEARS
[The Fanhouse]: Michael Irvin Could Have A lot More Time to Do Illegal Stuff

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NFL General

Just throw some Tussin on it!

San Diego Charger Terrance Kiel pleaded guilty to felony and misdemeanor charges for shipping two parcels of codeine-based cough syrup from California to Texas. His guilty plea requires gives him complete 100 hours of community work and undergo counseling for gambling. If he completes both by August 7th (oh right around the time preseason hits) then the felony charge will be dropped.

Apparently Kiel had a gambling problem and some “significant losses” forced him to find some extra cash. His lawyer said that the plea was fair.


I think the punishment fits the crime in this case. What he did was illegal, but we have to keep in mind it was cough syrup with two-percent codeine. That’s pretty low down the line for controlled substances.

This sounds about right. It’s not as if he’s Bam Morris or Nate Newton with pounds of pot in the trunk of his car. And anyway, we hear cough syrup can be used to heal practically anything.

Links:
[Sign OnSanDiego]: Kiel pleads guilty to drug char

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NFL General

About that "anti-gay" Snickers ad

An immediate outcry yesterday about the “homophobic ad” above has promoted Snickers to pull the whole campaign. You can’t find any trace of it on the website that was promoted at the end of the spot – it just redirects you to the Snickers site. A website called Americablog.com breaks down the whole campaign and explains why it “promotes violence against gays and lesbians.” A pretty compelling argument from those guys — but not so fast — a column from Outsports.com asserts that everyone is just overreacting.


All of the endings point to a rather sophisticated message. The two men in the “Love Boat” ending don’t protest or even react to the third man’s solicitation. And in the other three endings, the two men try to do something “manly” to make up for their kiss. Instead, they end up doing things – drinking motor oil and hitting each other with metal objects – that are just harmful and stupid, or they do something – ripping off chest hair – that could be considered “gay.”

The sophisticated message seemed to be that the overreaction of “straight” men to homosexual contact is completely irrational, and, in the case of the proposed threesome, maybe that contact is not entirely shunned.
…

This ad is not remotely gay-bashing. The point of the reaction of the men was so ridiculous that it made the reaction of straight men to homosexual contact the butt of the joke, not the kiss itself.

Plausible. But the problem with this argument is that it assumes any of the gay-bashing morons out there would be sophisticated enough to understand the satire of the commercial — if that was indeed the way Snickers/Mars intended it. The author is right though, Snickers got more advertising out of the controversy than they did from the $2.6M spot itself and their bottom line won’t be hurt one bit: “And if I were Mars Inc., which produces Snickers, I wouldn’t worry too much about the boycott that Aravosis is threatening: Containing a high fat content and more calories than you could burn running a 5k, Snickers bars don’t get eaten by gay men anyway.”

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NFL General

Best and Worst of the Super Bowl Ads

We don’t know what was more boring, the end of Super Bowl XLI or the Super Bowl ads that companies paid $2.6M for. Very few ads stood out last night but we still have our picks for best and worst ad. (All the Super Bowl ads can be found at ifilm.com.

The best ad was the careerbuilder.com jungle warfare spot. Granted, this would only make sense to anyone who has ever had a corporate job but that’s probably most of you.

The absolute worst ad in the history of Super Bowl advertising goes to Salegenie.com. Most people agree that this spot was a complete waste of money… and they showed it twice! Will the Salesgenie people convince themselves that the fact that everyone is talking about how bad the commercial was makes it a successful commercial? Someone over there should be shot for wasting $5M.

And finally, a tip of the hat to the NFL Network, not for that putrid fan generated commercial but for the Chad Johnson Super Bowl Party spot. Patriots fan to David Beckham: “So you’re a professional football player. For Los Angeles. I dunno if it’s gonna fly at this party but I like it. Good angle.”

However, ads aren’t necessarily targeted to everyone so we took a sampling of Super Bowl ad critiques out there on the internet today. Here are some of them:

[Yahoo]: Dan Wetzel’s Super Bowl ads review: “Later, GMC gave us a robot contemplating suicide after getting laid off (it turned out to be a dream). This was particularly hilarious, we’re sure, to all of the recently laid off General Motors factory workers.”

[SuperAdFreak.com]: BLOGGING THE 2007 SUPER BOWL AD: “Doritos user-generated spot: I hope this commercial finally dispels the myth of user- generated content, and most importantly as a submission-based campaign. It doesn’t work. These spots aren’t good, or funny, and there is a reason people get paid to make ads for a living.”

[Salon.com]: King Kaufman’s Sports Daily: “This year’s commercials were the usual warmed-over stew, a few mildly amusing spots, a few semicreative ones and a whole bunch of obvious big budgets used to no great effect.”

[Ad Age] Bob Garfield’s Super Bowl Ad Review Text Column: “Two auto mechanics are so famished they eat one Snickers bar from opposite ends, culminating in something suspiciously “Brokeback Mountain.” This freaks them out. Viewers can go to Snickers.com to choose their favorite ending. The vote should have come at the beginning, and it should have been ‘No.'”

And if that wasn’t enough, here are some more opinions on the Super Bowl ads:

[Neurosciencemarketing.com]: Super Bowl Ads: Brain Dead

[The Opionated Marketer]: Super Bowl Ads – Play by Play

[USA Today]: How all the ads ranked in USA TODAY’s Super Bowl Ad Meter

[Know More Media]: Top 10 2007 Super Bowl Ads

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NFL General

Tom Brady loves those Victoria Secrets models


We see you working, Brady. While the rest of us schmoes flip through the Victoria’s Secret catalog looking at the scenery, Tom Brady looks at it like a menu. According to the NY Post, Brady is gonna get through em by the time Rex Grossman throws his first interception with the second stringers in next year’s camp.


Tom Brady was spotted without his honey, Gisele Bundchen. However, he did have eyes for Bundchen’s fellow Victoria Secret model Selita Ebanks. A spy said, “He spent the whole night with Selita and left with her – he didn’t pay attention to any other girl.

We’ve asked it before… when does Tom Brady’s deal with the devil end?

And finally, this little quote from a female Patriots fan following last night’s Super Bowl: “To Peyton Manning: Our QB has 3 Super Bowls, and you’re ugly. So even when you win, we win.” Of course that makes no sense… unless you are a chick or Tom Brady, in which case it makes perfect sense.

Links:
[Ben Maller]: Odd Notes & Stuff

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NFL General

Super Bowl XLI Live Blog – 4th Quarter



Our pick for MVP

[Newest comments will appear on top.]

Postgame Don Shula is still the man in Miami as he gets to bring the Vince Lombardi trophy to Roger Goodell to present to Jim Irsay and Tony Dungy. Jim Irsay looks kinda slimy and he just had the worst transition in the history of SB acceptance speeches.

Who had Tony Dungy being the first guy to mention The Lord? What’s the payout on that? And…um… have we ever had two non-Christian coaches in the Super bowl?

More importantly… the MVP goes to… Peyton Manning. Somehow the presenting of the MVP trophy has turned into The Price is Right as Peyton gets to take home a Caddy. Sad. Manning doesn’t really deserve this award but he’s the biggest media guy on the Colts and they couldn’t give it to Tony Dungy. Rhodes truly was the MVP though.

Allright, that does it for us over here at SC blog. We leave you with one final thought: How much weed is Edgerring James blazing up right now?

0:00 And it’s over. Colts win 29-17. Gamblers taking the Colts covered. Also, the over/under was 47 points. Hmmm… the holder for the Colts should watch his back. Congratulations to the Colts and Tony Dungy and their fans. What a great ride for those guys.

What are the odds that someone asks Lovie Smith what it feels like to be the first black coach to lose a Super Bowl?

Sorry Sarah Spain about your Bears but nothing good can come out of being associated with something as shitty as Axe Body Spray.

1:42 Bears eschew the FG and take a couple more seconds off the clock. The Bears are trying to mount a desperate comeback that is destined to end with another Rex Grossman INT.

I’m breathlessly awaiting the winner of the NFL Super Bowl ad contest. (Meanwhile Honda is wasting money.)
Wait… was that it? It’s so hard to say goodbye? With a final shot of Favre? Fucking hell. That was a disgrace.

5:32 Desmond Clark’s inability to hold onto the ball means this game is pretty much over unless there is some miracle. Now is the time to play conservative, Dungy. Chicago will be ripping at the ball on every play. The aforementioned Bears-Cards MNF must be haunting Colts fans right now. Rhodes is making his bid for MVP as he picks up a huge first down.

5:55 Already in 4 down territory, the Bears have a uge 4th and 9 here. If they don’t convert this, the fat lady will head towards the stage.

7:31 Is Tony Dungy/Tom Moore trying to Schottenheimer this game?

9:55 The fat lady is getting warmed up. Rex just threw another INT and the Colts are set up to put this thing away if they can put together a little drive. Expect plenty of Addai and Rhodes for the rest of this game. Harrison played decently and Wayne had that big TD but the MVP of this game are the running backs and the Colts defense.

Can anyone tell me what that celebration the Colts do means? It’s like a golf clap/ tipped pass indication.

11:44 Uhhh nevermind. Hayden just returned an INT for a TD. Will Grossman be the first QB to get replaced since Tony Eason? The Bears challenge but the play stands. Tony Corrente is determined not to be mentioned in the same breath as Bill Leavy. Colts up 29-17. Everyone is IMing me that the game is over but does anyone remember the Bears-Cardinals MNF game. Granted that was the Cards but crazier things have happened this year.

Al Davis is ready to overpay for Hayden and then have him rot on the bench.

13:54 Marvin Harrison hurts his leg on an incomplete. This could prove big in Colts next drive. Just answered my last question. It could be Muhsin Muhammad.

14:30 I know it’s still early but who would get the MVP at this point if the Colts were to win? Joseph Addai? Who would get it if the Bears win? The entire special teams? Whoever scores the TD?

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NFL General

Super Bowl XLI Live Blog – 3rd Quarter



M.I.A.

[Newest comments will appear on top.]

0:37 Tony Dungy makes a good challenge on the Marvin Harrison catch but we’ll see if the ref agrees with him. The 3rd quarter is winding down and it’s been pretty good so far. Yep folks, it is a catch. Indy wins the challenge. The ref who overruled the initial call looks pretty silly now. The Colts convert the 3rd and 2 and that takes us to the end of the 3rd Quarter.

1:30 Robbie Gould comes up pretty big and knocks in a 44 yard FG after Grossman almost throws an INT.

3:16 The Colts kicking team will be shot if they lose this game. They just set up the Bears on their 40 yard line.

And there it is, the airing of the Kevin Federline commercial that was leaked onto the internet early this week. Great commercial. Bud Light & Axe one is pretty funny too. The Nationwide Kevin Federline commercial and the careerbuilder.com spots are in the running for best commercial.

4:01 The Colts march down the field but they can’t knock it into the endzone. Adam Vinatieri gets the FG and the Colts are up by 8. The Bears offense has to run at least 6 plays this possession or the Bears defense will be cursing them out at they come off the field.

Careerbuilder.com wins.

6:17 Rex Grossman almost turned it over twice and the Colts will get it back and the Bears defense comes back onto the field.

It’s always disappointing when companies recycle old commercials for the Super Bowl. We expect a new commercial if you’re going to spend this much money on a slot. Listen Coke, this comemrcial showing “coke-machineland” isn’t so great that you need to show it here.

7:45 A very stupid challenge by Tony Dungy. Why would you challenge that unless you had video/photo proof already? Adam Vinatieri (not going to prematurely type this one cause I jinxed him on the last one) makes it and the Colts are up 19-14. As dominating as the Colts have been, they are a kick return or fumble return away from losing the game.

15:00 Total of 6 turnovers in that first half only lead to 7 points. Either the defenses are great at recovering or the offenses are piss poor. Colts are dominating on the stat board but only lead by 2 points. Here we go with the second half…

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NFL General

Super Bowl XLI Live Blog – Halftime


-Welcome to the Blockbuster Total Access CBS NFL Today CSI Miami Halftime Show sponsored by Chevy Trucks and Fed Ex! Now we have to listen to Shannon Sharpe who has a Dr. Scholl’s shoe insert for a tongue. Bring on the Purple One already! By the way, what weighs more, Prince or one of Booger McFarland’s thighs?

-A man really shouldn’t be able to make a noise like Prince just made… unless he actually is burning to death. I know this is mean but I really want to see a dancer fall on her ass. It’s actually amazing they can pull this off on a stage that wet.

-Uh…. just as I thought “All Along the Watchtower” was weird, Prince just launched into the Foo Fighters’ “Best of You”. Am I high? Now Prince is doing Purple Rain. I’m so confused. How the hell did “Best of You” get into this medley?

– Woooo… thank goodness that’s over. Halftime shows are completely useless. The only way that would have been good at all was if Prince broke out his assless jeans again.