Category: NFL General

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NFL General

Madden 08 hits the shelves, but not for long


Best Buys and other electronic stores got bum rushed last night around midnight by tons of pale, pimply skinned button pushers who just couldn’t wait one more second to get their grubby little paws on the latest edition of the Madden video game. In fact, don’t be surprised when you walk into the office today and about half the male contingency is out with a mysterious “head cold” because when Madden drops, the addicts just gotta get their fix.

Ah. I will pick up my game at midnight, play until about 7 a.m., sleep for about three hours, and then hit the sticks for about 24 hours straight. And yes, I told my boss that I was taking the entire day off to play a video game,” Madden super fan Brad DeVito said.

We don’t know exactly how “Madden Day” compares with the NCAA tournament for workers lack of productivity, but we’re guessing that it has to be pretty high on list considering that in 2006 “Madden 2007” sold a whopping 1.8 million copies. And that’s just on the PlayStation 2! We’re not even counting all the copies sold for the Xbox, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, P.C., the Nintendo Wii, the Nintendo GameCube, and the variety of handheld consoles.

And while most people are absolutely stoked to start dropping back for virtual hail marys or laying the electronic wood to their opponents, other people are already making excuses for when the big Madden tournament eventually rolls around.

Last year I had a fumbling problem where if you breathed on my character he dropped the ball,” Matt Leinart said. “This year, my strength rating is awful. I’m going to get my butt kicked in the game.

Links:

[MSN.FoxSports.com]: Madden…know it, live it, love it

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NFL General

The Hall of Fame finally welcomes in a hankieless Michael Irvin

We know that getting inducted into the Hall of Fame is the pinnacle of any professional athlete’s career, so we can completely understand why players get a little emotional at times.  Well, to say that Michael Irvin got a tad teary eyed during his induction speech would be an understatement.  

Many people are saying that it was one of the most inspirational, touching, motivational acceptance speeches in the history of the Hall.  We’re not going to go that far because, frankly, we couldn’t even pay attention to the words coming out of his mouth with all the snot coming out of his nose!  Damn, couldn’t someone hand Irvin a Kleenex?  This is one of those rare times when ESPN HD is a bad thing.

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NFL General

We just found the dumbest sports reporter in the world and he’s not an Around The Horn panelist


From the idiotic quotes department, it appears that Clinton Portis, Terrell Owens’ publicist and Stephon Marbury will have to get a little closer in order to make room for the newest inductee into the “no mental filter” hall of fame.

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reporter Paul Zeise appeared on the television show Sports Showdown on Sunday evening and he decided to disagree with a fellow panelist concerning the current Michael Vick situation. Apparently, the other guy said that the commish, Roger Goodell, should suspend Vick for the entire season because of the recent indictment. Here’s what Zeise had to say about that:

It’s really a sad day in this country when somehow . . . Michael Vick would have been better off raping a woman if you look at the outcry of what happened,” Zeise said. “Had he done that, he probably would have been suspended for four games and he’d be back on the field. But because this has become a political issue, all of a sudden the commissioner has lost his stomach for it.

It’s pretty damn hard to find something more reprehensible than dogfighting/slaughtering, but we feel confident in saying that rape is an even more disturbing and sickening act. And, of course, once Zeise realized the magnitude of what he had said, probably thanks to some serious backlash from everyone who heard the statements, he immediately issued a carefully constructed apology.

I regret the poor choice of analogies I used to characterize a professional athlete’s legal situation,” Zeise said.

But, despite the weak apology, the station that aired the program said they considered the comments to be “insensitive and offensive” and that Zeise won’t be appearing on the show again. In our opinion, that’s all well and good, but it’s basically just a slap on the wrist. So, we propose a stiffer, more unpleasant punishment for the dumb ass; throw him in a prison cell with some lonely lifer named Meatball and let him find out first hand just how horrible rape can be. Or stuff a ferret down his pants; whichever.

Links:

[Philly.com]: Reporter sorry he said: `Vick would have been better off raping’

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NFL General

Other than being white and 8-years-old, Cody Paul is exactly like Reggie Bush

We’re not big on speculating about the potential of little kids when it comes to sports, mainly because they’re little freakin’ kids, but lots of people get their kicks outta searching the elementary schools of America in hopes of finding the next Michael Jordan, Derek Jeter or Barry Sanders. The reincarnations of those guys haven’t been discovered just yet, but The Commission has apparently gotten their hands on some tape of the next “Reggie Bush”. So for all you freaks that have been following O.J. Mayo since he was in kindergarten, we’d like to present to you 8-year-old Cody Paul.

We agree that the kid does have some pretty sweet skills, but calling him a “white Reggie Bush” might be a bit over the top. And predicting a Heisman trophy for Paul in 2017 is even more insane. Hey, this kid might turn out to be the best thing ever and we’ll be completely wrong about the hype, but nobody’s going to know for at least 10 years. Until then, we’re going to stick with the field for the 2017 Heisman.

Links:

[The Commission]: Cody Paul Is The TRUTH

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NFL General

Another reason why the NFL needs better drug testing

For all you people out there who think that rage is the only emotion that can result from illegal drug use in the world of football, think again. There can be a variety of reactions that can occur from taking medications that are not specifically prescribed for an athlete. So, the next time you are watching your favorite team and wondering if they might be on drugs, here a few giveaways to look out for:

That goes a long way in explaining the Raiders pitiful offensive performance last year.

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NFL General

Happy day after Father’s Day!

We all only have one father; well, except for that chick on My Two Dads, but that’s beside the point. What we’re trying to say is that dads are special guys. And even though we not might be as close to the old man as we once were, it doesn’t mean that the heartwarming feelings aren’t still there. C’mon, who doesn’t cherish those childhood memories of shooting hoops or playing catch with pops? Those are the moments where the lifelong bonds between father and son are forged. And we aren’t the only ones who think so, Bill Parcells does too.

So to all you dads out there, just don’t forget that your kids are going to grow up before you know it. You only have a limited time to influence their lives before they’re going be up and outta the house. It is critical that you spend quality time each and every day with your kids doing things like playing sports. And not only do drills like the ones mentioned by Parcells instill qualities like coordination, timing and good old fashioned discipline, but if you put in the extra effort with your kids then you just might motivate them all the way to a pro sports career. Then you could finally retire and live off your boy’s millions for the rest of your life. That’s the only thing that’s going to make all those teenage speeding tickets, emergency room visits and angry calls from high school teachers worth it.

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NFL General

The NFL finally lets Mikey and Jack play dress-up



We’re too sexy for our team branded
Reebok gear.

Roger Goddell might be still be kinda new to his job but he continues to make a huge impact on the league. And more importantly, he’s really impressing the hell out of us.

After battling and battling with the NFL and Reebok the new commish gave San Francisco 49ers head coach Mike Nolan permission to wear a suit on the sidelines. Well, he kind of granted him permission. Nolan can wear a suit during all home games but unfortunately it’s got to be a Reebok suit. You might think that Reebok can only make wind suits or sweat suits but considering they are the official outfitters of NFL coaches, it looks like they had better start learning how to sew up the Armani kind.

But Nolan isn’t the only coach with some class; the Jacksonville Jaguars’ Jack Del Rio was also given the same deal. And why not? If the NFL isn’t going to humiliate the coaches by making them wear uniforms like in MLB, then we say they should spruce the league up a bit and mandate suits for all coaches.

We understand that there is an entire business behind the individuals on the field, but why was this ever an issue in the first place. Don’t we have enough logos plastered all over the players and field already? Do we really have to make sure that there is a Reebok emblem every single time the production booth cuts to a shot of a coach with a laminated piece of paper over his face? And plus, the alternative is that all your coaches could end up looking like a homeless drunken panhandler Bill Belichick.

Links:

[USAToday.com]: NFL grants coaches OK to wear suits on sidelines

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NFL General

Get ready for the USFL XFL UFL!


Bill Hambrecth, a Wall Street tycoon, has decided to start a rival football league and he’s planning on doing it by as early as August of 2008. So far, Hambrecth and his partner, Tim Armstrong from Google, have pledged $2M each. They’ve also signed up Mark Cuban is the first owner in the league.

This isn’t the first time that Hambrecht has jumped into the ring against the NFL. In the 80s, he was a minority owner in the Oakland Invaders, part of the USFL debacle, but he has learned his lesson from that failure.

The UFL plans to target the cities that have huge markets but no NFL presence such as Las Vegas, Los Angeles, and Mexico City. Each franchise will require a $30M investment from the owner for 1/2 stake. The League will own the other half. Eventually, the fans will be able to buy shares and own 1/3 of the team. The end result will be an equal share of ownership between owner, league, and fan base.

The league has pretty good plans on how it will approach a television contract, but most importantly, they have a plan on how to make the level of play somewhat respectable:


Bill Walsh used to tell me that the last 20 players cut from every team were almost interchangeable with the last 20 players to make the team,” Hambrecht says. The new league will hire the best of those last 20 players — along with the best of the Arena players, the Canadian Football League players and so on. Though the U.F.L. will have a salary cap, it will be able to pay those players more than they are making now.

Who knows whether the UFL will play a single snap but it sounds like they have their thinking together and this isn’t just some gimmicky WWF meets NBC desperation for Football league. Getting Mark Cuban on board is key. He is the ultimate self promoter and his involvement makes this venture much more likely to succeed. While we love the NFL and think they can do no wrong, a competitor would only do the fans good.

Links:
[NY times]: First and Long — Very Long

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NFL General

Odds and Ends: Will Keyshawn be any good?



Am I an asshole?

By now, you’ve heard that Keyshawn has decided to retire and join ESPN. Now, my first reaction to this is that it’s another example of ESPN just going completely down the toilet. However, if you look at Michael Irvin’s work, he wasn’t all that bad. And Keyshawn is basically just another version of Michael Irvin.

I feel like Michael Irvin really did have some decent insight into the game of football (certainly more than that Chris Berman asshole) but he simply wasn’t articulate enough to express his opinions and he also had the habit of trying to be funny by saying the stupidest. So while ESPN’s NFL coverage is all but unwatchable, having Keyshawn on the show isn’t going to make it any worse. Thank God we have the NFL on FOX.

In other news…

[buzzfeed]: Six fans who gave shout outs to their team on death row

[UPI]: Blind golfer seen reading scorecard

[DC Pro Sports Report]: 2007 Mock NBA Draft

[Bloody Long Odds]: Odds for 2010 World Cup already released

[MSNBC]: Rosenhaus supports Clinton Portis

[SI]: Ex Montana St player leader of drug ring

[Houston Chronicle]: 2011 Super Bowl could set ticket sales record at $93 million

[Seattle PI]: Jones soda pulls off Seahawks upset

[IHT]: Japanese red socks have become symbol for Red Sox

And finally, stay away from the salad at the Wheaton North High School

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NFL General

Mark Schlereth shows TV land why people call him Stink

We don’t usually talk about soap operas here at Sportscolumn, but when one of our favorite talking heads from ESPN decides to join the cast of Guiding Light, it tends to grab our attention.

You probably know him as the guy with the great hair on NFL Live or you might know him as Stink from his days with the Broncos. But regardless of how you know Mark Schlereth, you can now start to refer to him as Roc Hoover. Don’t believe us? Check it out for yourself.

What’s next? Is Barry Melrose going to join the crew of Laguna Beach?

It’s probably safe to say that Roc is going to be looked at a bit differently by his co-workers and ex teammates now. But who really cares? After all, Schlereth could be sharing the set with the next Eva Longoria. Perhaps they’ll even twist his arm and get him to hop in the sack with one of the daytime divas for a cheesy love scene. And, if you ask us, that’s not too bad of a way to earn a few extra bucks.