Tag: NFL

Categories
New York Giants

LaVar Arrington involved in a serious motorcycle accident


Ben Roethlisberger was involved in an ugly motorcycle wreck that damn near cost him his life. So, while Big Ben might not currently be the poster boy of on field execution, he should be revered in locker rooms and clubhouses across America as the man who personally exposed just how dangerous motorcycles can be and lived to tell about it. And now GM’s can add LaVar Arrington to their “lucky to be alive” club when they plead with their stars about the need to live on the safe side in life. At least while they are still under contract.

Arrington was involved in a severe motorcycle crash in Prince George’s Country, MD on Monday and was rushed to a local hospital in serious condition. However, it appears that the former Redskin, current Giant free agent escaped the wreck with just a broken bone in his arm, three broken bones in his leg and some road rash. It looks like Arrington is going to be in lots of pain for a while but pain is your best case scenario in this situation.

Carl Poston is Arrington’s agent and while he is most certainly ecstatic that his client is going to recover, he has got to be absolutely livid that he was even on the bike to begin with. Huge sums of money are circulating around Arrington at all times and, from a business perspective, it is simply asinine to engage in any risky activities. Franchises have got to start being much more strict about allowing their players to participate in any sort of behavior that can put them in danger. Athletes are generally thrill seekers by nature, so it is the responsibility of the people who employ them to put their foot down and refuse to allow a player to die unnecessarily on their watch.

Links:

[WJZ.com]: LaVar Arrington Involved In Serious Beltway Crash
[ESPN]: Arrington suffers multiple injuries in accident

Categories
Indianapolis Colts

Colts Super Bowl Rings are pretty sweet


The Colts ring is pretty sweet if the people who designed it would just shut the hell up about it. It’s a diamond encrusted ring with a blue horseshoe prominent in the middle and it’s nice and simple. That’s probably where the description should end. But of course, here’s owner Jim Irsay on the ring his wife helped design (of course):


There’s obviously some bling. But we wanted it to have some beautiful simplicity and we wanted to feature the horseshoe. The symbol of the horseshoe is so universal, so powerful.

That’s the powerful thing about it,” he said. “In life we use symbols. .. the art of symbols and reminders are part of our culture.

Uhhh what? The horseshoe is a symbol of luck so I guess that’s the most prominent aspect of the Colts’ culture.

Oh and on one side of the ring is “Our Time” and on the other side is “Faith”. Irsay said that faith “gives you the strength to have the perseverance to move forward even after many disappointments.” Of course, the faith thing was probably demanded by Tony Dungy and his in your face Christianity. Stupid Dungy.

Finally, you know exactly where you are in the Colts organization pecking order: players and top execs got the $5,000 ring. Some employees got a scaled down version worth around $2,000. And finally the proles got a third-tier ring that is worth less than the box that the top-tier rings came in.

Links:
[USA Today]: Colts receive Super Bowl rings in private ceremony

Categories
New York Jets

Turns out Jonathan Vilma is an idiot too


The NFL’s PR staff needs to issue a memo to the players regarding the Michael Vick dog fighting case. “Dear _____: If ever asked about dog fighting and Michael Vick, please reply, ‘Obviously dog fighting is inhumane but since it’s an ongoing investigation, I don’t want to comment on Michael Vick’s involvement.'” Seems simple doesn’t it? But some NFL players can’t keep their big mouths shut.

The latest is Jonathan Vilma. Here’s what he had to say about the Michael Vick dog fighting case:


To be honest with you, I never looked at it one way or another. What people do is …of course dog fighting is much more extreme, but you can equate it to horse racing. You have animal activists that (condemn) horse racing. They feel horses are being tested brutally, whatever the situation is. I’m not an animal activist. To each his own.

Everyone (in the NFL) has heard about dogfighting. Whether you choose to participate or not, that’s your decision. I’m not here to condone it or accept it. It’s been there for awhile….Virginia says it’s a felony. Hey, it’s a felony. There’s nothing to argue there. It is what it is.

Now, we know what Vilma is getting at here but dog fighting is one of those things that you should just go ahead and condemn. It’s like drunk driving — you can’t be for drunk driving or just ambivalent towards it. And to equate dog fighting with horse racing is like equating sex slavery to the WNBA.

Links:
[NY Daily News]: Jet: Dog fights equal horse races

Categories
NFL General

The NFL finally lets Mikey and Jack play dress-up



We’re too sexy for our team branded
Reebok gear.

Roger Goddell might be still be kinda new to his job but he continues to make a huge impact on the league. And more importantly, he’s really impressing the hell out of us.

After battling and battling with the NFL and Reebok the new commish gave San Francisco 49ers head coach Mike Nolan permission to wear a suit on the sidelines. Well, he kind of granted him permission. Nolan can wear a suit during all home games but unfortunately it’s got to be a Reebok suit. You might think that Reebok can only make wind suits or sweat suits but considering they are the official outfitters of NFL coaches, it looks like they had better start learning how to sew up the Armani kind.

But Nolan isn’t the only coach with some class; the Jacksonville Jaguars’ Jack Del Rio was also given the same deal. And why not? If the NFL isn’t going to humiliate the coaches by making them wear uniforms like in MLB, then we say they should spruce the league up a bit and mandate suits for all coaches.

We understand that there is an entire business behind the individuals on the field, but why was this ever an issue in the first place. Don’t we have enough logos plastered all over the players and field already? Do we really have to make sure that there is a Reebok emblem every single time the production booth cuts to a shot of a coach with a laminated piece of paper over his face? And plus, the alternative is that all your coaches could end up looking like a homeless drunken panhandler Bill Belichick.

Links:

[USAToday.com]: NFL grants coaches OK to wear suits on sidelines

Categories
Chicago Bears

Tank Johnson gets benched for half a season


After serving a 60-day jail sentence, Tank Johnson was released back into the outside world just a little fatter than when he went in. But NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell made sure that Johnson would lose some serious weight, and he focused primarily on the back, right pocket region of his ass.

Tank is about to be spending a lot more time with nothing much to do because the new sheriff in town doesn’t play no crazy games and he slapped Johnson with an eight-game suspension that’ll wind up costing him $225,000 in salary. However, Goodell left a small glimmer of hope for Johnson to strive for as he stated that the suspension could be reduced to six games if Tank could avoid getting in trouble with the law and begins attending counseling. And like the other perennial bad boys to step in front of the principal, Johnson took his lickings and responded with a “Yes, sir; may I have another, sir!” type of attitude.

Roger Goodell’s a fair man, I know that, and he took everything into consideration that he and I talked about. He came up with what he came up with. If it’s in the best interest of the N.F.L., then I’m all for it. He’s given me the opportunity to reduce it to six games, which I am very appreciative. I am looking at it like a six-game suspension, because I definitely am very confident that I’m capable of doing everything he’s asked me to do, and more.

In other words, in today’s NFL you do not want to cross the boss. And as fans, we’re loving every minute of this league being scared straight. The best part of all this is that Goodell is only warming up; just wait until we really get to see him unleash a serious hurtin’ bomb on Michael Vick and his alleged dog fighting turned dog slaughtering ways. We’re still petitioning that his punishment must somehow consist of a ferret and his crotch.

Links:

[NYTimes.com]: Bears’ Johnson Is Third Player Suspended by the N.F.L.
[DailyIllini.com]: Bears DT Tank Johnson suspended for eight games

Categories
All Other Sports

Could an out of work NFL receiver be the next MMA superstar? Oh, hell no!



There is no way this douche wins,
right?

Just when the UFC was starting to get the mainstream love that could help MMA KO boxing once and for all, Chuck Liddell went out and took the sport back about 10 years when he took a nice little nap in the center of the octagon thanks to some well placed punches by Quinton Jackson. And in less than two minutes the opportunity of a lifetime was gone and the chance to exploit some serious fight hype coming off a snoozefest between Oscar De La Hoya and Floyd Mayweather had vanished. And when Dana White’s golden boy lost his title, the giant that is MMA was decapitated. Well, there is the new UFC light heavyweight champion, but we don’t think anyone wants Rampage and his “humongous dick and big balls” leading the troops.

So where does mixed martial arts turn to find the new blood that can pick up the combat sport and thrust it back into the limelight where it belongs? Johnnie Morton, of course.

I am 0-0, underground, amateur and pro. Zero experience,” said Morton

OK, so maybe MMA shouldn’t look to the former 49er/Lion/Chief to be their savior just yet but he could bring back some interest in the sport when he hooks up with Bernard Ackah on June 2 at K-1’s Dynamite!! USA. C’mon, who wouldn’t pay to see Morton get Tai Kwon Do’d right into la-la land. Oh, and the fun doesn’t end there because the card has not just one, but two gimmicky fights to its credit!

In addition to wasting your hard earned cash to see Morton participate in his first professional fight, you can also throw away your “making it rain” money by watching former WWE Champion Brock Lesnar in his debut bout against Min Soo Kim. But don’t get your hopes all worked up over the dream match of Lesnar/Kim just yet. While we know that Lesnar, aka “The Next Big Thing,” will be fighting, it is unsure who his opponent will be since his original opponent was denied a California fighter’s license.

This sounds like a spectacular event being put on by UFC’s rival, K-1, but here’s a little word of advice for your next big promotion. Perhaps you should get professional fighters to step inside the ring for you instead of guys who are just looking for something cool to pass the time.

I know there are other things to do, like maybe surf, golf and do things on TV, which I probably will in the future,” said Morton. “But right now, because I am still athletic, and I am still young enough to do this, this is just something I want to try in life and explore and experience. It is something I have always been interested in. At least, when I am old I can say I tried or I did it.

Links:

[MiamiHerald.com]: Former NFL receiver Morton to compete in first MMA event Saturday

Categories
Cincinnati Bengals

Someone might want to check Chad Johnson for horse steroids

So, if you had to guess, which NFL player would you say is crazy enough to race a friggin’ horse? Give up? Well, we all know that Ray Buchanan would probably guess it would be Shannon Sharpe but Sharpe doesn’t have the stones to go one-on-one with a stallion. You gotta be a batshit, fruit-loopy, Man-Ram type nutjob to go “man vs. beast” with a horse. So, Chad Johnson is naturally a perfect fit.

Ocho-Cinco will be taking on Restore the Roar on June 9 at the River Downs racetrack in Cincinnati, Ohio in order to raise money for Feed the Children. We can’t knock the guy for doing something to benefit a worthwhile charity but we have a feeling that he’d be trying to outrun the animals during a trip to an African wildlife safari. But regardless of motives, any way you slice it, this will be another entertaining adventure brought to you by Mr. Johnson.

While we’re not experts in the art of man vs. beast, we feel pretty comfortable in saying that the safe money is on the horse because we’ve seen the old FOX show where that track dude got smoked by a zebra and then had the balls to accuse “Zippity” of cheating.

We suggest that Chad calls off the race against Restore the Roar altogether and tries to race a giraffe instead. Maybe Carl Lewis can work the sidelines of that event as well.

Links:

[ESPN]: Man vs. horse in benefit race at River Downs

Categories
Oakland Raiders

Jerry Porter might be an idiot but one thing he is not is an idiot


Jerry Porter was ready to make a change in life; a fresh start and a new attitude to complete the new Randy Moss and Art Shell-less Raiders. And Porter was signifying his rebirth with a switch from jersey No. 84 to No. 81. But then he found out that it was going to cost him $210,000 and he threw on that old No. 84 quicker than you can say “I’ll shoot your motherfuckin’ ass with a blowdart, dawg.”

Turns out that there’s a whole business aspect to the NFL that Porter didn’t think about and he would have to fork over the $210,000 for the wardrobe change in order to pay back the team and Reebok for the price of all the unsold jerseys with the old number on them. Guess he figured the league would just send `em to some third world country like they do with all of the Super Bowl loser’s gear. But like any good businessman, Porter knows how far his money will stretch and the close to a quarter-of-a-million dollar penalty just didn’t seem like a fair swap for the three digit reduction.

Man, there’s a couple of nice cars I’d like to get for that money,” Porter said. “I could buy a nice vacation home, or at least go half on one with someone else.

We’re not sure exactly what kind of a vacation pad Porter is looking for but Ahman Green could probably give him the lowdown on some current prices.

But hopefully for the Raiders this doesn’t mean that he’s going to be putting off that whole attitude adjustment thing. Jamarcus Russell would probably really appreciate having a top receiver to throw to who doesn’t get suspended for insubordination. And Lane Kiffin could really do without Porter’s public trade demand stunts as he opens up his career in Oakland. But, hey, anyone who doesn’t get accused of being a kingpin of the dog fighting world gets a free pass this season.

Links:

[FoxSports.com]: Porter’s number change too expensive

Categories
NFL General

Get ready for the USFL XFL UFL!


Bill Hambrecth, a Wall Street tycoon, has decided to start a rival football league and he’s planning on doing it by as early as August of 2008. So far, Hambrecth and his partner, Tim Armstrong from Google, have pledged $2M each. They’ve also signed up Mark Cuban is the first owner in the league.

This isn’t the first time that Hambrecht has jumped into the ring against the NFL. In the 80s, he was a minority owner in the Oakland Invaders, part of the USFL debacle, but he has learned his lesson from that failure.

The UFL plans to target the cities that have huge markets but no NFL presence such as Las Vegas, Los Angeles, and Mexico City. Each franchise will require a $30M investment from the owner for 1/2 stake. The League will own the other half. Eventually, the fans will be able to buy shares and own 1/3 of the team. The end result will be an equal share of ownership between owner, league, and fan base.

The league has pretty good plans on how it will approach a television contract, but most importantly, they have a plan on how to make the level of play somewhat respectable:


Bill Walsh used to tell me that the last 20 players cut from every team were almost interchangeable with the last 20 players to make the team,” Hambrecht says. The new league will hire the best of those last 20 players — along with the best of the Arena players, the Canadian Football League players and so on. Though the U.F.L. will have a salary cap, it will be able to pay those players more than they are making now.

Who knows whether the UFL will play a single snap but it sounds like they have their thinking together and this isn’t just some gimmicky WWF meets NBC desperation for Football league. Getting Mark Cuban on board is key. He is the ultimate self promoter and his involvement makes this venture much more likely to succeed. While we love the NFL and think they can do no wrong, a competitor would only do the fans good.

Links:
[NY times]: First and Long — Very Long

Categories
Chicago Bears

Tank Johnson isn’t a fruit and vegetables kind of guy


If you didn’t know, football players are some big freakin’ guys! And the linemen are even bigger! So, you can imagine how difficult it must be to keep a 6-foot-3, 300 pound monster of a man satisfied in the kitchen. Now just try to keep that same big boy from getting hungry while he’s locked up in jail and receiving slop and bologna sandwiches a couple times a day. We would guess that it’s damn near impossible but we don’t have to guess because Tank Johnson’s 60 day stint in the pokey has produced a calorie by calorie break down of exactly what kind of junk food it takes to satisfy a hungry giant.

While in jail, Johnson received three meals a day but also spent $665 on other goodies to get him through his cravings. Here are some of the highlights:

162 Beef Sticks

40 Honey Buns

35 Summer Sausage Blocks

35 Bags of Chips

9 Jalapeno Cheese Spreads

6 Cans of Refried Beans

Now if that’s not the diet of a pro athlete then nothing is! But, we were kind of shocked to hear all of this considering that our diets consist primarily of beef sticks and sausage. Wait, that came out all wrong. Anyways, after reading this we’re guessing that Johnson headed straight for the right field seats at Dodger Stadium as soon as he was released.

Links:

[SunTimes.com]: Stay in jail not healthy for Tank