Will Ferrell convinced us long ago that he was the best thing to ever happen to sport spoof movies. First he gave us Talladega Nights, then there was Blades of Glory and now we’re finally getting a glimpse at his latest production: Semi-Pro.
Needless to say, we’ve already canceled all our February appointments in anticipation.
Links:
[TrojanWire]: Will Ferrell’s `Semi-Pro’ Trailer
Oddly enough our oddball injury of the day goes to one of college football’s biggest oddities, Texas Tech coach Mike Leach. We’d like to say that it involves a pirate ship, a parrot and a plank, but that would just be wishful thinking.
Leach said today (Monday) he broke a bone in his right arm. He hit the pavement after falling from his bicycle Friday.
Leach says he got a flat tire and tried to fill it with enough air to make it to his destination, but “it proceeded to run out of air. I took a routine turn, then went into a slide, so then it broke the arm.
While Leach takes the cake for stupidest boo-boo, Limas Sweed gets the nod for most demoralizing Big 12 injury.
Just days after losing to rival Oklahoma, the Longhorns wide receiver found out that his college career is over. Sweed needs surgery to repair ligament damage in his wrist stemming from a preseason incident.
“I’ve aggravated it a couple of times and again last week and have probably been in more pain than I let anybody know,” he added.
If you thought Mack Brown was throwing a fit after Colt McCoy took a late hit in the game against Oklahoma, you know that the furniture is flying in his office today. After all, considering Texas’ running game is virtually nonexistent, without Sweed in the lineup, Brown chances of Leachin’ it up and getting 500+ yards per game through the air just lost all sorts of steam.
Links:
[KCBD.com]: Texas Tech coach Leach breaks arm in bicycle crash
[SportingNews.com]: Horns lose Sweed to wrist injury
We make fun ESPN quite a bit around here. After all, we play this episode of SportsCenter virtually nonstop on our DVR. But, we gotta give credit where credit is due. This piece about the son and grandson of cult leader Jim Jones is some pretty amazing stuff.
So, hats off to Jon Fish and Chris Connelly. Keep up the good work, fellas. We are so relieved to see there’s more to ESPN than Stump the Schwab and the Budweiser Hot Seat.
Links:
[ESPN.com]: Grandson of Jonestown founder is making a name for himself
It was a sick scene on the field of Reliant Stadium when Dolphins’ quarterback Trent Green collapsed to the field after being kneed in the head by Texans’ defensive tackle Travis Johnson. Watching Green lay motionless for a second consecutive year after a brutal hit was scary, but the nausea was due to Johnson’s behavior following the contact.
Johnson stood over Green’s immobile body and taunted him because he felt that Green had taken a cheap shot for his knees. Truth is, it looks like he did. So, if Green had bounced up, we wouldn’t have seen any problem with Johnson going over and slapping him upside his head. That penalty would have been understandable. Instead, the Texans were hit with a 15-yard flag for classless and disgusting behavior.
Luckily, despite suffering a concussion, Green appears to be okay and he flew home with the team after being checked out at the hospital. Not that any of that seemed to matter to an irate Johnson after the game.
“My knee ain’t never hurt like it hurt today,” Johnson said. “If you want to hit me, hit me in my head, hit me in my chest, don’t hit me in my knee. I’m trying to eat just like everybody else. So, to hit me like that, that showed me what type of man he was.
What makes Johnson’s behavior even more revolting is that his own teammate, fellow defensive tackle Cedric Killings broke a vertebra in his neck just two weeks ago. He left the field on a stretcher, just like Green. The Texans should be utterly embarrassed that Johnson is a member of their organization after these outbursts.
Links:
[NYTimes.com]: Green Sustains Concussion as Dolphins Remain Winless
Chicago Cubs fans don’t mess around when it comes time for postseason ball. In fact, they get down right nasty. Literally.
What exactly was hanging from hallowed Harry Caray bronze statue you ask? A slaughtered, skinned goat carcass of course. Don’t believe us? Here’s the video evidence: Video #1, Video #2 and Video #3.
Now, we all know what happened to the Cubs over the weekend. So, we’re guessing these demonic fans are going to be looking to up the ante on the next go-round. Watch your back, Bartman!
Links:
[KSDK.com]: Holy Cow! There Was A Goat Carcass Hanging From Caray Statue
[SunTimes.com]: Dead goat hung from Harry statue
Unless you have an unhealthy obsession with your TV Guide, then you probably didn’t even know a channel named VS. existed. But it does and they hit the friggin’ jackpot by broadcasting the biggest upset of the year when Stanford knocked off USC late Saturday night. Considering they’re pretty new at this whole college football scene and it was a 40-point underdog scoring a last second touchdown on fourth down to win the game, we’re going to overlook the fact that the announcers totally botched the call.
Kelly Stouffer: “Jim Harbaugh, if you’re asking, is going to go for the tie right here, he’s holding up…Obviously, they are tied right now. He’s going to go for the extra point.”
Ron Thulin: “You got to.
Talk about a killer duo! One guy doesn’t know which team is which and the other guy doesn’t know what the score is. No offense, we know you both have decent resumes, but you fellas got a lot of work to do before you’ll be on the big boy channels.
Perhaps you could learn a little something by watching this seamless transition from Britney Spears’ life to a game winning touchdown. Take notes, this is how the pros do it.
Najeh Trenadious Monté Davenport was at it again, but don’t worry, you’re laundry is safe.
Davenport and his baby momma apparently got into a dispute on Thursday night in Cleveland after he went to pick up his 5-year-old son from the woman and simultaneously let her know that he’d be filling for full custody of the child. That didn’t go over to well with the mother, Anita Person, and despite the fact that it appears Davenport had all the necessary visitation paperwork, she grabbed the boy from the car and bolted. But she didn’t make it far.
The anonymous caller went on to say that the man “keeps circling around the block.”
Davenport, however, denied the claims that he hit Person — telling a Cleveland television station that he never touched the woman.
No charges were filed against Davenport in the case, but we’re always going to have our suspicions about a guy who takes a dump in some chick’s laundry hamper.
But the best part of this whole crazy situation is that the Cleveland police released the 911 tapes from Davenport, Peterson and another witness.
Damn, if Najeh had really needed help, he would have been dead by the time the operator found the address! Despite the dispatcher’s horrible performance, this still conjures up warm and fuzzy memories of our childhood and evenings watching Rescue 911.
Links:
[KDKA.com]: Police Release 911 Tapes Of Davenport Dispute
We don’t know about ya’ll, but we love reading Rick Reilly’s stuff. You heard us, right? We said reading his stuff. We’re just really not feeling his new animated stand up act.
Ugh, that was painful. Reilly should ask these guys for a little help with his routine. However, we gotta admit, we did love his rip on Rex Grossman. Rex is so bad that Roger Goodell should ban him from the league for not using performance enhancing substances.
If an Oklahoma fan literally ripping the balls off a Longhorns fan doesn’t make this one of the most heated rivalries in all of sports, then a gimmicky beer will do the trick.
For two months a year, Independence Brewing Co. in Austin churns out a different kind of beer. A burnt orange brewski, also know as “Oklahoma Sucks Beer.”
They say it’s all in good fun, but it’s a good profit, too. This year they’ve sold five times the amount they did last year.
At Bubba’s Country Store in South Austin, manager Vic Patton has put out his second shipment in as many days.
“Oh, I give it about a half-hour, and it’ll be gone!” Patton said. “This is the beer they want to drink before the Texas-O.U. game, this kind of tops it off!
And just think, when you get so drunk that you pee your pants in the Cotton Bowl stands on Saturday afternoon, instead of just being considered a lightweight, you’re burnt orange urine will be the ultimate show of team spirit.
Links:
[KXAN.com]: Longhorn Fans Brew Their Pride Into Burnt-Orange Beer
The hammer came down today following a huge brawl during a high school football game between the players of Florida’s Miramar and Flanagan. In all, 56 players got suspended for anywhere from one to six weeks for their roles in the fight.
It’s considered by many to be the biggest mass suspension in Florida high school history with 29 suspensions going to Miramar and 27 more going to Flanagan. It all went down on September 28 during the third quarter of the game.
“I saw one of the football players push somebody in the dirt, push their head down in the dirt. And then I saw the whole team just come out and fighting,” said one student.
Another student agrees with the suspensions, “I believe it was deserved because fighting is not tolerable amongst all schools, so I think they should have got it.
The entire offensive squad that was on the field for Miramar and the entire defensive squad for Flanagan got suspended, in addition to a bunch of other kids that came off the benches to join.
While something like this could happen anywhere in the country, it figures that it would happen in Florida. Obviously, these kidos should be receiving their scholarship letters from Miami and Florida International at any minute now.
Links:
[Sun-Sentinel.com]: Mass suspensions in Broward throw high school football programs for a loop
[CBS4.com]: Dozens Suspended After Broward Foot-Brawl
