Author: clay

Categories
College Football

Who the heck would want Sean Glennon jersey? Ah, No. 7!


If you were watching the game last night between Virginia Tech and Georgia Tech then you probably noticed something a little strange. No, we’re not talking about how Georgia Tech was virtually handing the ball to Hokies players when on offense. No, we’re talking about the sweet improve skills that VT displayed after the jerseys of Kam Chancellor, Brandon Flowers, Sean Glennon and Tyrod Taylor went missing.

By the start of the second quarter, at least some of the missing jerseys had re-emerged because Chancellor and Flowers had switched back to their regular jerseys. Glennon and Taylor were still in Georgia Tech jerseys at the start of the third quarter.

The players’ names were written on the backs of the jerseys in black marker. Black tape was used to block out all indications of Georgia Tech on the jerseys. The Virginia Tech jerseys for each player allegedly turned up before the game, but each player still wore the Georgia Tech jerseys in the first half.

After Virginia Tech arrived Thursday afternoon at Bobby Dodd Stadium, members of the Hokies’ equipment staff discovered the four players’ jerseys were missing. There was no evidence of a break-in in Virginia Tech’s locker room.

Wait, wait; did you guys go lame on Halloween and dish out pennies or hard candy. This sounds like retaliation to us.

Links:

[Dailypress.com]: Missing jerseys? Hokies improvise.
[NBC11.com]: Va. Tech Jerseys Mysteriously Disappear

Categories
Cleveland Cavaliers

Around the Rim: It was downright scary in Cleveland on Halloween


1. Trick or, errr, Trick!
It didn’t take long for a team to get blown out of the water, but nobody expected it to be the Cavs whose battleship got sunk. The Mavericks torched Cleveland to the tune of 92-74 last night. 18 points might not sound like much, at least not by blowout standards, but the Cavaliers looked rustier then your grandpa’s clunked out ’58 Chevrolet Apache. LeBron James finished with just 10 points after getting nada during the first half. Behind Jason Terry’s 24 points, Jerry Stackhouse’s 17 and Dirk Nowitzki’s 15, the Mavs never allowed Cleveland to take the lead. Perhaps the most amazing stat out side of Zydrunas Ilgauskas’ gaudy double-double (17 pts, 18 reb) was the incredible shooting accuracy displayed by Big D (FG: 33-69, 3FG: 9-18, FT: 17-20). If this is all Cleveland’s got then it shouldn’t take long for Boston to grab hold of the Eastern Conference reigns.

2. “I’m out!”

Scratch Dallas off the possible future destinations for the most coveted trade bate in the league. According to Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, Dallas isn’t looking to make a trade for Kobe Bryant and, contrary to rumors, there was never a deal in the works. “We haven’t talked to them,” Cuban told ESPN’s Lisa Salters during a sideline interview. “It’s not going to happen. We’ve got a great squad. We like it.” And thank goodness for that, talk about the rich getting richer. But it sure could have been fun to watch Cuban squirm as he tried to divide his man-love down the middle.

3. Joey Crawford is back behind a whistle
Referee Joey Crawford returned to the court for the first time since he threw Tim Duncan out of a game because he giggled and supposedly challenged Timmy to a fight. Well, no punches were thrown and no questionable ejections occurred as Crawford officiated Indiana’s 119-110 overtime win against the Wizards. We love how David Stern is trying to `clean up’ the league, but yet he continues to employ the same dirt bag refs. If Stern wants people to take his initiative seriously then he needs to just clean out all the current officials’ lockers and start from scratch. Sure, it’s kinda harsh and a bit drastic, but other than missing out on Bavetta vs. Barkley II, do you really care?

Wednesday’s Player of the Day: Manu Ginobili @ Memphis 31 min, 30 pts (FG: 6-14, 3FG: 5-9, FT: 13-14), 5 reb, 7 ast, 2 stl, 1 blk

Thursday’s Game to Watch: Phoenix (0-0) @ Seattle (0-1)

The Suns are quite possibly the most exciting team in the NBA and the crew is looking for revenge after they feel they were screwed out of the playoffs. And after the flaming bag of referee/gambling scandal was splattered across the league’s front doorstep for the world to see, the San Antonio Screw Job could be a reality. But Phoenix can’t worry about the past when the future is here and now. First there is the future of the league in Kevin Durant. The Sonics dropped their opener to Denver on Wednesday as KD finished with 18 points on a horrible shooting performance. Still he showed plenty of promise and the potential for major mismatches. One of the guys responsible for guarding Durant will be Shawn Marion, the same Shawn Marion that over the summer said he wants out of Phoenix. With Steve Nash and Amare Stoudemire locked down, the Suns might think Marion is an on-court expenditure but, that’s quite possibly the most ridiculous mistake the NBA.

Buzzer Beater: Lamar Odom is missing the opening portion of the season after having shoulder surgery in the off-season, but it wasn’t his shoulder that was hurting him on Tuesday. It turns out that Odom was involved in a car accident that morning and sustained a minor concussion. Just like in real life, any drive that ends with contact is probably going to send Odom to the pine. But, hey, at least Lamar showed up to the game, unlike some people. Lakers owner Jerry Buss missed the season opener as well after David Stern suspended him for two games and fined him $25,000 for his drunk driving arrest in May. Life in LA just keeps getting better for the Lakers.

Categories
General Sports

`Mike Tyson’s Brunch-Out!!’

Please tell us that you have vivid memories of the instant NES classic Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!. You know: Glass Joe, Great Tiger, Soda Popinski, Don Flamenco. C’mon, please tell us that we weren’t the only ones who spent hours on end socking King Hippo in his fat gut. Oh, well; if you’ve played the game then you’ll recognize our good friend Mr. Dream Mike and if you’ve never rocked the controller to this 8-biter then hit the pawn shop already for crying out loud.

Game Over, Little Mac.

Categories
General Sports

Wake up, wake up, wake up; it’s the first of the month


Hooray!! October is finally over.

Don’t get us wrong, October has its good points. First off, there was college football. And then there was college football. Oh, can’t forget college football, more college football, a little pro football and then there was college football. You get the point.

Anyways, it’s nothing personal, but sorry, No. 10, we’re over you. The MLB playoffs were kinda fun even if the World Series was a total snoozer. And like the rest of America, we were scarily close to smashing our newly purchased HD television set if we saw one more promo for Frank TV. Oh, and don’t even get us started on the stupid Dane Cook commercials; the real ones or the fake ones. Yes, yes; we know, there is only one October. That guy obviously sold his soul to the devil in return for starring roles with Jessica Alba in F- movies and, quite honestly, we can’t say we blame him.

Basically, all we’re saying is that we’re stoked to be changing our calendars to November and we’re ready to start turning our attention to the meaty portion of the BCS race (regardless of the illegitimacy of the whole system), turduckit, holidays and the fantasy football home stretch. Hooray, November!!

Until October 1, 2008 rolls around, we’re taking our Manny-O-Lantern and putting this month behind us.

Categories
San Antonio Spurs

Around the Rim: The boys (and babes) are back in town!


1. Life is good in San Antonio
Sure, the Spurs got a new banner for the AT&T Center and, yes, they received some shiny new rings from the commish, but those weren’t even close to being the highlight of San Antonio’s day. That’s because Tim Duncan agreed in principle to sign the dotted line of a two-year, $40 million contract extension that will keep him sporting silver and black through the 2011-12 season. The Big Fundamental immediately paid dividends with team-highs in points (24) and rebounds (13) as San Antonio defeated Portland 106-97. All in all, that’s a pretty big day for the best power forward on the face of the planet, and his team.

2. You sure you want to get rid of this guy?

Remember all that talk about how Kobe Bryant just isn’t trying hard enough for the team? Well, you can nix that idea after one game because in the Lakers’ season opener, Bryant went off for 45 points against the Rockets in a 95-93 defeat. In fact, the Lakers could have possibly won the game if it hadn’t been for Shane Battier’s 3-pointer with under three seconds remaining. We know that the tension is reaching new heights between Kobe and Phil Jackson and between Kobe and the Lakers, but Los Angeles should probably do everything they can to keep their superstar at this point. First off, there is no way they can ever get equal value for someone that talented and secondly, he led the Lakers in every major statistical category last night. If this is how Kobe plays when he’s pouting, just wait until he has something to smile about…if he has something to smile about.

3. The Warriors pick up right where they left off
The Warriors are probably pretty sick of seeing the Utah Jazz at this point. After putting an end to Golden State’s playoff party last year, the Jazz opened this season with a 117-96 win over Don Nelson’s club. The dynamic duo of Carlos Boozer and Deron Williams paid off again for the Jazz as they combined 56 points, 19 rebounds and nine assists. Heck, even the disgruntled Andrei Kirilenko produced for the club as he just missed out on a triple-double with nine points, nine rebounds and eight assists. The Warriors made it interesting in the final quarter, but without Stephen Jackson in the lineup (suspended, of course), Golden State just didn’t have enough firepower to hang.

Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Kobe Bryant vs. Houston 43 min, 45 pts (FG: 13-32, 3FG: 1-3, FT: 18-27), 8 reb, 4 ast, 4 stl, 1 blk

Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Dallas (0-0) @ Cleveland (0-0)

It would be awfully tough to find any teams with worse tastes in their mouths than either the Mavericks or the Cavaliers. Both teams had great regular seasons last year and then both of them got absolutely humiliated in the postseason. In case you’ve already forgotten, the Cavs managed to win the East but went cold against San Antonio in the Finals. On the other side of the map, Dallas virtually coasted to 67 wins before having their hopes smashed by Don Nelson’s small ball. Now, we can’t predict what’s going to happen after the regular season concludes, but we can pretty much guarantee these two are going to be major players in their conferences. Both teams will probably be a little rusty to start the year, but LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzki on the same court are must watch television any day of the year.

Buzzer Beater: The dream of dueling rookies was cut short after Greg Oden needed microfracture surgery before the season, but when the rookies are this good then having just one really isn’t all that bad. Kevin Durant sprained his left knee and his status for the season opener was up in the air until he had a good practice on Monday. Now it’s starting to look like the Nuggets should be more concerned about Durant’s health than the Sonics. Seattle coach P.J. Carlesimo basically said it’s the kid’s call; if he feels good, he’ll be starting the game. And should that happen, all the other rooks out there can basically kiss that ROY trophy goodbye.

Categories
Detroit Lions

With friends like Jon Kitna, Joe Cullen doesn’t need enemies


Jon Kitna is a cold blooded dude.

The Lions quarterback showed up to the Mike Furry Foundation charity Halloween party dressed up as a `naked’ Joe Cullen and his wife played the role of a red-headed, pig-tailed Wendy’s employee. In case you don’t know, `fully clothed’ Joe Cullen is a coach in Detroit.

Cullen, the Lions’ defensive line coach, was arrested Aug. 24, 2006, in Dearborn for alleged indecent and obscene conduct for driving on a public street while nude. Cullen pulled his sport utility vehicle into a late-night Wendy’s drive-thru. The attendant discovered that he was naked. Cullen was asked to wait in the restaurant parking lot while they prepared his order. The restaurant manager notified police. Cullen later pleaded no contest to driving while nude.

Although rooted in serious personal issues, the unbelievably bizarre particulars surrounding the incident made Cullen and the Lions the “butt” of a steady stream of derisive punchlines across the country.

Apparently, Kitna believed it’s time for the players to join in on the joke.

“A lot of the guys on the team remember what happened,” Kitna told Fox 2 at the party. “It’s far enough removed that you can laugh at it now.”

We’re with you Jon, we were laughing at it when it was just five seconds removed. Still, we don’t know if Cullen would agree. But who gives a crap about him right; after all, he’s just a coach on your team.

Listen, we’d defiantly do something like this to one of our loser friends, but we can do that. See, our friends have no self respect left anyway and the idea of them being in a position of authority is actually quite laughable. We’re guessing that everyone at this Lions based party reacted to the Kitnas’ gag in about the same way people reacted to the Steve Irwin costumes with a stingray attached to the chest. They probably wanted to laugh, but they just couldn’t show it.

Links:

[Freep.com]: What was Kitna thinking?

Categories
High School Sports

Gimme an `O’! Gimme a `U’! Gimme a `C’! Gimme a `H’! What’s that spell?

You know those stupid banners that high school teams go ripping through before games? Well, they’re dangerous. Actually, it’s not the banners that are dangerous, it’s the players running through `em.

We love how the station goes with the informative yet humiliating approach to this piece.

Happy Homecoming Homecoming Princess!

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Wait Guys! There’s Something Wrong With The Banner …….. Oh No…..

Categories
Colorado Rockies

Hey, Colorado! You didn’t think ol’ Dave was gonna let you off the hook, did ya?


Hey, the Rockies had a great run. Nobody expected them to make it into the World Series, but they did. And nobody expected them to get swept out after such an incredible run leading up to the big showdown with the Red Sox, but they did. So, for all you Colorado fans out there, here are some suggestions from David Letterman on what to say the next time someone tries to give you grief over getting broomed.

Top 10 Colorado Rockies Excuses

10. “Even we’ve never heard of most of our players.”

9. “Didn’t want Game 5 to preempt `House'”

8. “Relax, there’s still a lot of baseball to be played.”

7. “The Curse of the Bambino.”

6. “At that altitude, the beer really knocks you on your ass.”

5. “No number 5 — writer preparing to go on strike.”

4. “Turns out our `flaxseed oil’ really was flaxseed oil”

3. “O.J. stole the equipment!”

2. “Manager distracted by Joe Torre walking around with his resume.”

1. “Forget us — somebody want to explain the Jets?”

Links:

[SOX & Dawgs]: Top 10 Colorado Rockies Excuses

Categories
NFL General

Is Jimmy Kimmel writing Emmitt Smith’s material?

We know that Emmitt Smith has 18,355 career rushing yards and 175 total touchdowns. And we know that he can do the salsa, the tango and probably even the Macarena. But those don’t involve the forming of coherent sentences.

We never thought anyone could make Stu Scott look appealing, but congrats E, you’ve made history again.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Emmitt Smith’s Analogies Need Some Work

Categories
LA Lakers

NBA Basketball is back and so is the Chuckster’s big ol’ mouth. Yippee!


After news broke of Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson’s little spat the other day, it was just a matter of time before the Round Mound of Rebound weighed in on the situation. Especially considering that the season tips off tonight and Sir Charles just happens to have his weekly forum back. You’re going to have to tune in to TNT to see what he says live, but we already have a pretty good idea of what it might be.

What Phil Jackson said yesterday, that was like they’re at the point of no return now. There’s a point where you know you can make a marriage work, but what Phil Jackson said yesterday, that was the end of it,” Barkley said at a luncheon with fellow studio analyst Kenny Smith.

“That’s the one thing I respect most about Kevin Garnett. Even though he played on terrible teams, there is not a player in the last 10 years who played harder than Kevin Garnett. And that’s the one thing that disappoints me. Phil said that Kobe’s just going through the motions. … And if your coach tells you you’re just going through the motions, that’s pretty much the end of the straw.

“The end of the straw”??? Charles, have you been hanging out with Emmitt Smith again?

But Barkley wasn’t done with the drama in La La Land just yet.

Smith said Bryant broke “etiquette rules” by publicly criticizing teammates during his trade demand. Barkley was harder on Bryant’s actions since camp opened. Bryant skipped practices and games – Barkley called it a “sabbatical” – after Buss said he would consider trading his star, and Barkley blames both of them for creating the situation.

“When Jerry Buss comes into training camp and says they’re going to trade Kobe, Kobe says, All right, I’m going to take a week’s vacation,’ ” Barkley said.

“Jerry shouldn’t have said that. Wasn’t no doubt in my mind (Bryant) was just blowing off games and practice because he was (mad) about what Dr. Buss said. They shouldn’t have said that. He should have went to Kobe Kobe you want to be traded, we’ll try to make it work.’ But the guy’s skipping practices, going through the motions.

Okay, we haven’t even started the season yet and we’re officially sick of the Lakers. Can we just skip the games and go straight to `Where We At?‘

Links:

[AZCentral.com]: Barkley calls out Kobe