Detroit Lions

With friends like Jon Kitna, Joe Cullen doesn’t need enemies

Jon Kitna is a cold blooded dude.

The Lions quarterback showed up to the Mike Furry Foundation charity Halloween party dressed up as a `naked’ Joe Cullen and his wife played the role of a red-headed, pig-tailed Wendy’s employee. In case you don’t know, `fully clothed’ Joe Cullen is a coach in Detroit.

Cullen, the Lions’ defensive line coach, was arrested Aug. 24, 2006, in Dearborn for alleged indecent and obscene conduct for driving on a public street while nude. Cullen pulled his sport utility vehicle into a late-night Wendy’s drive-thru. The attendant discovered that he was naked. Cullen was asked to wait in the restaurant parking lot while they prepared his order. The restaurant manager notified police. Cullen later pleaded no contest to driving while nude.

Although rooted in serious personal issues, the unbelievably bizarre particulars surrounding the incident made Cullen and the Lions the “butt” of a steady stream of derisive punchlines across the country.

Apparently, Kitna believed it’s time for the players to join in on the joke.

“A lot of the guys on the team remember what happened,” Kitna told Fox 2 at the party. “It’s far enough removed that you can laugh at it now.”

We’re with you Jon, we were laughing at it when it was just five seconds removed. Still, we don’t know if Cullen would agree. But who gives a crap about him right; after all, he’s just a coach on your team.

Listen, we’d defiantly do something like this to one of our loser friends, but we can do that. See, our friends have no self respect left anyway and the idea of them being in a position of authority is actually quite laughable. We’re guessing that everyone at this Lions based party reacted to the Kitnas’ gag in about the same way people reacted to the Steve Irwin costumes with a stingray attached to the chest. They probably wanted to laugh, but they just couldn’t show it.


[]: What was Kitna thinking?

Detroit Lions

Jon Kitna overcomes a concussion and then overcomes the Vikings

The whole world was reminded of the amount of guts it takes to be a big league football player when Kevin Everett possibly lost the ability to walk during a fairly routine tackle. And while that’s one of the scariest examples there is of inherit dangers within the game, one of the quieter dangers of the game involves those hits that leave someone’s bell ringing. Of course, we’re talking about those nasty concussions.

Steve Young knows all about it. Troy Aikman has plenty of experience with `em. And now Jon Kitna has a great ‘tough guy’ story to tell, even though he might get a headache just thinking about it.

Kitna took a nasty shot during the second quarter of a game between Detroit and Minnesota and was sidelined with a concussion until being cleared in the third. Then in the final period, Kitna led the Lions on a game-winning drive. But it wasn’t easy.

I’ve never felt anything like that, and for it to clear up and go right back to as normal as I can be, is nothing short of a miracle,” Kitna said Monday. “I just definitely feel the hand of God. That’s all it was. You can’t explain it.

“I have no headaches, no symptoms, no lingering effects. But that was the worst my head has ever felt, and the worse my memory was in the second quarter. Yet, after halftime there was nothing.”

Kitna said it was the third concussion of his NFL career, and the first since 2001.
After saying he knew who he was during the game, a reporter asked Kitna if he knew where he was.

“Barely,” he said.

Kitna appears to be just fine now, but we all know how quickly the effects of multiple concussions can add up. Just look at what happened to this former NFL QB after taking too many shots to the melon. Poor guy can’t even dress himself properly anymore.


[]: Kitna on concussion: `I’ve never felt anything like that’