We spend a lot of our free time bashing the sport of soccer, but we gotta admit, those dudes have some serious skills. Not because they can kick a ball around for hours on end or because they know how to celebrate goals in really creative ways. Heck, it’s not even because of the tendency to fight or because their fans are known to riot. Nope, the skills we respect the most don’t even have anything to do with the pitch; we’re really impressed with their off the clock work.
So, while we’re virtually ignoring soccer as a sport, we’re really shooting ourselves in the foot because soccer players bring down some monumental tail. Luckily, where our attention wanes, CO-ED Magazine’s is focused with laser like precision. So, here’s their list of The 50 Sexiest WAGs of World Soccer.
Basically, there’s only one thing to be said about this list: GOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!
Soccer stars just want to have fun and Ronaldo is no different. The soccer super stud decided to have him some fun Sunday night at a Rio de Janeiro motel, hiring some prostitutes for a little wink-wink which is completely legal in Brazil. Problem was that the hos were bros.
Ronaldo accused one of the transvestites of trying to extort him, police inspector Carlos Augusto Nogueira said Monday night.
Nogueira said the altercation began when Ronaldo found out he was dealing with transvestites instead of women. The inspector said Ronaldo admitted he knew they were prostitutes when they met earlier Sunday night, but did not realize they were transvestites until they got to the motel.
“He admitted to everything, he wanted to have fun,” Nogueira said. “But he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best.”
Prostitution is not illegal in Brazil.
The AC Milan striker told police he offered to pay the transvestites anyway, but before he left one of them allegedly asked for $30,000 to hide the story from the media.
Nogueira said he believed Ronaldo’s version because the transvestite decided to leave the police station even before being fully questioned by authorities.
The transvestite also accused Ronaldo of asking him to buy drugs.
In a statement to TV Globo, Ronaldo reiterated he was a victim of extortion and denied he has ever used drugs.
Ronaldo and the transvestites were only questioned by police and voluntarily went to the police station.
Only in soccer.
Links:
[FoxSports.com]: Ronaldo talks to police after run-in in Rio de Janeiro
Another reason to be suspicious of all things soccer surfaced on Monday when news came out about Howard University’s men’s soccer coach Joseph Okoh going to the slammer after falling for the old ’13-year-old girl on the internet wants to have sex with me gag’. Man, where’s Chris Hansen when you need him?
Joseph E. Okoh, 40, was caught in a sting operation conducted by the Louisa County Sheriff’s Office as part of the Southern Virginia Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force, authorities said.
Okoh, of Arlington, allegedly traveled to Louisa County thinking he would meet the girl, authorities said. The person turned out to be an undercover investigator, and Okoh was charged with using a communications system to solicit a person under 15 with lascivious intent, a felony.
He has been suspended from all Howard University activities and duties pending completion of the investigation, school officials said.
Okoh, who was arrested Friday, was held without bond after a hearing at the Louisa County Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court. He has a follow-up hearing scheduled for Friday, authorities said.
We’re not sure what this waste is facing, but we’re hoping it’s a long time; 13 years sounds appropriate. And we’ve seen Oz enough times to know what happens in those cells. So when he finally gets out, hopefully he’ll be using the internet in its intended fashion, instead of as a perverted sex machine.
Links:
[WashingtonPost.com]: Howard Men’s Soccer Coach Arrested in Youth Sex Sting
[USAToday.com]: Howard University head soccer coach arrested
Thanksgiving always has a way of creeping up on us, but this year we actually remembered before the Wednesday night prior to the big day. So, considering that we’re in the seasonal spirit a bit early this year, we thought we’d bring you a video you can be thankful for. At least you can be thankful that you’re not any of the people in the video.
Say what you want to about the great American sports rivalries, but if you want to see some real animosity then look no further than soccer outside of the States. As if there is soccer inside the States.
A pair of Brazilian teams (Atletico Paranaense and Gremio if you’re keeping score) brawled like Peter and the chicken all over town after an Atletico Paranaense player was attacked kung-fu style during a post-gamematch interview.
See what we mean? Have you ever seen Peyton Manning deliver a flying dropkick to Tom Brady’s kisser?
The rivalry between the two clubs began earlier this season when Paranaense forward Alex Mineiro was injured in a clash with Gremio midfielder Tcheco.
Tcheco was sent off in Wednesday’s match for persistent dissent and both clubs said that as he left the field he clashed with Petraglia.
After the game, Paranaense midfielder Claiton said he was attacked from behind by a Gremio player who lunged at him with a karate-style kick as he was giving a media interview.
Claiton said he went to a police station to file a complaint.
Gremio accused Paranaense of being bad hosts at the end of the match.
“We were badly received here,” said Cesar Pacheco, another member of the Gremio delegation. “They spent the week threatening us.
“This can’t happen in football.”
Now, we know that some of this soccer stuff is tough to believe but, thanks to The Offside, we’ve got the video to prove it. *”no need to watch after the 1:00 minute mark if you don’t speak Portuguese”
End of story, right? Wrong. On Thursday, the two clubs just conveniently happened to bump into each other at the airport and, well, you know where this is going.
The two clubs blamed each other for the fracas at the Afonso Pena airport in Curitiba as they resumed hostilities after Paranaense’s 2-0 win in a Brazilian championship match the previous evening.
Paranaense director Mario Cesar Petraglia said he was waiting for a flight to Sao Paulo when he was set upon by the Gremio delegation.
“I was reading my newspaper when they went for me, with physical and moral offences,” Petraglia told his club’s Web site (www.caparanaense.com).
Gremio, who were heading home to Porto Alegre, said Petraglia was with security men who joined in the fight.
“(Vice president of football Paulo) Pelaipe is with the airport police filing a complaint,” Gremio director Alfredo Oliveira told Radio Bandeirnates.
“He lost a tooth and his face has swollen up.”
Thank goodness here in the fity states, we don’t have to worry about that level of immaturity and poor sportsmanship from our athletes.
Links:
[Yahoo.com]: Brazilian clubs brawl again at airport
[The Offside]: Brazilian Teams Brawl in the Dressing Room, Airport
We’re not speaking from experience here, but we’re figuring that turning your daughter over to a male coach is probably about as nerve racking as letting her go out on her first date. After all, there are a lot of sick dudes out there in the guise of a coach. So, how do you know who to trust in this day and age? Well, if you ever see any type of behavior that resembles this, then you should probably pull daddy’s little girl from the program immediately.
Sonoma County authorities Monday were investigating a report that a Petaluma soccer coach mooned a team of teenage girls during a weekend match.
The Sonoma County Sheriff’s Department said the incident was reported at about 2:30 p.m. Saturday after a Windsor Cup Soccer game had been played by female players under the age of 16.
Deputies learned that the game had become heated and erupted into several arguments, after which the Petaluma team’s coach walked to the center of the field and allegedly exposed his rear to the opposing team, according to the sheriff’s office.
Several of the Windsor team players and their parents called police and reported the incident. However, the coach has denied the allegations, according to the sheriff’s department.
Wait, he denied it? This guy walks to center field, drops trou and moons an entire team of young girls in the middle of the day and he’s got the guts to say it was just a figment of their imagination. Wow, and we thought that Isiah Thomas was full of crap.
Links:
[The Offside]: Coach Suspended for Mooning Girls’ Youth Team
[FoxReno.com]: Soccer Coach Suspended For “Mooning” Opposing Team
As much as we love sports, we really can’t stand soccer. There is just absolutely nothing appealing to us about the sport. Sure, the rest of the free world can’t get enough of the stuff, but we really don’t care if we never see one more second of soccer footage for the rest of our lives. In fact, if we do see another soccer highlight then we’re going to have to…wait, what? Soccer guys getting kicked in the nads? Roll it!
We stand corrected; this sport isn’t so bad after all.
We never have been big fans of soccer, considering how we as Americans are totally oblivious to fact that sport even exists except when our morning SportsCenter is continually canceled for some boring women’s `futbol’ match between Zimbabwe and Northern Hungary. So, seeing that we can’t stand the game, we really think their refs have a crappy job. Except for this guy, he’s having way too much fun out on the pitch.
But we never realized just how lame their lives were until we heard that the refs at a recent women’s soccer match were reduced to performing nut checks to verify genders of the players.
Banyana Banyana coach Augustine Makalakalane has described as mischievous claims allegedly made by a top Ghanaian official that SA used a male player in their Olympic qualifier at the Caledonian Stadium last month.
“I don’t know what the official is up to, but what he is quoted as saying can be best described as utter rubbish,” fumed Makalakalane. “We’ve never cheated and maybe he should consult with his captain in future before he makes such irresponsible comments.
“Fact of the matter is that they raised a suspicion against our striker, Alice Noko Matlou from Limpopo and the officiating referee made an inspection in our dressing room in the present of the Ghana captain. After everyone concerned was satisfied that our player was a girl, she was allowed to feature in the game. The referee would not have allowed her to be part of the game if Alice or anyone else was indeed male.
“If it is indeed correct that the Ghanaian official has said this, then I’m personally disappointed with his conduct. But if it’s an attempt to play mind games against us ahead of the return game in Ghana in December, then let me inform them that we are not only bringing Alice, but the whole Banyana Banyana. They can also expect another player with male features in our team for that contest, and that will still not be cheating,” he said.
Sure, looking down a soccer chick’s pants might sound cool, but you gotta realize that if you have to look down her pants to determine if it’s a dude or a lady then she’s probably not the Jennie Finch or Anna Kournikova kinda athlete. But this practice could be useful here in America; after all, if our refs would perform inspections like this then Christian Laettner would have never been allowed to taint the Dream Team.
Links:
[The Offside]: Genitalia Inspection now part of Referees’ job description
[SuperSoccer.co.za]: Banyana dispute gender cheating claims
[The Sun]: Spot the ball please, ref
Ronaldo accused one of the transvestites of trying to extort him, police inspector Carlos Augusto Nogueira said Monday night.
