Categories
Golf

Fore!! Forget the wife and kids, hide the six-pack!

A golf ball, a golf club and a hacker are a very dangerous combination. Throw a couple brewskis into the mix and we’re talking downright scary. Thank goodness for cans and innovative Heineken commercials.

Categories
All Other Sports

Odds and Ends: AAFL – All-Around Failure League


Believe it or not, but yet another football league has gone under. Well, that’s not exactly true because the All American Football League isn’t giving up just yet. The AAFL is being forced to postpone its 2008 opening season until 2009 due to a lack of financial funding.

The league’s chief executive officer, Marcus Katz, said economic conditions forced the decision to scrap plans for this year.

“I invested 29 million dollars in cash to roll out the operations of the league,” Katz told the station, adding he was owed “a lot more money” by a student loan company.

“When I told the board I would subsidize the league, that was before the bond market collapsed,” Katz said.

Say what you will about Vince McMahon’s pathetic XFL, but at least they had an opportunity to prove they sucked on the field.

In other news…

[Can’t Stop the Bleeding]: The NCAA doesn’t like ESPN

[The Big Lead]: Clay Buchholz scores a perfect dame

[ThePittsburghChannel.com]: Billy Crystal, you’re outta here!

[Smarter Sports Blog]: Reporter flips over covering sled race

[CBS4Denver.com]: Barry Bonds alleged use of roids pays off in a big way…just not for him

[The Swim Aids]: Golfers don’t like the idea of random drug tests

[Jibblescribbits]: Is Alexander Ovechkin the lost love child of Andre the Giant? You decide

[Links Link]: It’s been a bad week for John Daly…wait, aren’t all his weeks bad weeks?

Categories
Golf

Tripp Isenhour gives new meaning to the term "hawkeye"


When it comes to golf, we’ve heard of birdies and eagles, but we never hear about hawks when we’re out on the greens. Apparently there is a good reason for that; Tripp Isenhour kills them when they are too loud.

IIsenhour, who plays on the developmental Nationwide Tour, was charged Wednesday with cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird, misdemeanors that carry a maximum penalty of 14 months in jail and $1,500 in fines.

Isenhour quickly apologized Thursday.

“As soon as this happened, I was mortified and extremely upset and continue to be upset,” Isenhour said in a statement issued through his management company, SFX Golf. “I want to let everyone know there was neither any malice nor deliberate intent whatsoever to hit or harm the hawk. I was trying to simply scare it into flying away.”

The 39-year-old player, whose real name is John Henry Isenhour III, became angry while filming “Shoot Like A Pro” on Dec. 12 at the Grand Cypress Golf Club when a squawking red-shouldered hawk roughly 300 yards away forced another take.

He drove closer to the bird in his golf cart and starting hitting balls at it. The bird didn’t move and Isenhour gave up and drove away.

Isenhour started again when the hawk moved within about 75 yards, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine indicated in a report.

Isenhour allegedly said, “I’ll get him now,” and aimed for the hawk.

“About the sixth ball came very near the bird’s head, and (Isenhour) was very excited that it was so close,” Baine wrote.

A few shots later, witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils.

And you know what is coming next, right? PETA is gonna want a piece of his ass for lunch. But before everyone gets all worked up, let’s just make it perfectly clear that Isenhour is, in fact, an animal lover and he has three cats at his house that he adopted from a local animal shelter. So, take that PETA.

Links:

[Golf.com]: Golfer apologizes for shot that killed protected hawk

Categories
Golf

You want to sink a hole-in-one? Head for The Gopher State


Ugh, here we go again. It’s not that we don’t want people to do incredible things, it’s just that we’re sick and tired of those incredible things not happening to worthy individuals. Basically, we’re ticked that while we fighting alligators and rabid otters for golf balls, there are guys treating the course like it was the kitten level of Tiger Woods 08.

You’ll forgive retired Postmaster Rick Misencik, then, for pinching himself after scoring two hole-in-ones in the same round.

“You sit there a little bit numb”, Misencik recalled. “It’s not supposed to happen and then… it happened, and it was awesome.”

Misencik was golfing at The Preserve near Pequot Lakes on October 12 when he performed the feat, which comes with odds of 67 million to 1. The first came on hole number two.

“We could see it was tracking the whole way, it was all over the flag,” said assistant pro Patrick Johnson, who was playing with Misencik. “Took one bounce, and went in.”

There was plenty of yelling and high fives, and then the threesome played on.

Fast forward to hole 13, and a tee shot that Rick thought was going to put him in major trouble. “He pulls it left, and wasn’t happy, we’re thinking it’s got a chance cause it always kicks off that hill”, said Johnson. “It goes right on the green, rolls at the flag, hits it, then goes in. It was unreal.”

With odds like 67 million to 1, you’d think two holes-in-one in one round would be a rarity. In fact, the Minnesota Golf Association says at least two golfers have achieved the feat since 2001.

Okay, we’ve thought about it and we’re sorry Rick. You do deserve this once in a lifetime opportunity, so enjoy. However, with such high odds and so many occurrences, we gotta wonder: are there any NBA refs involved in all of this?

Links:

[KARE11.com]: On round, two hole-in-ones for Minnesota golfer

Categories
Golf

Didn’t your mother tell you not to swing that thing indoors?


Marc Warren isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he sure did get sliced up when he decided to practice his golf swing inside of his hotel room. Apparently, he was in some real swanky joint that had a glass chandelier in the room. You see where this going, right?

The Scotsman said he tried a practice swing with a 5-iron in his room Thursday night and hit a glass chandelier which smashed into pieces over him.

Warren was taken to a hospital where he received stitches for a deep cut in his abdomen. He also had minor cuts on his arms and head.

“There was plenty of blood and a towel I held to my stomach was covered when I arrived at the hospital,” Warren said. “But the only thing that hurt was the scratch on my head. I feel fine about playing today.

At least the guy is back in action today in the Seve Trophy tournament. He might be a dumb gamer, but he’s still a gamer.

Links:

[Local10.com]: Fore! Golfer Swing Shatters Chandelier

Categories
Golf

This is what happens when Jackass and the Golf Channel violently cross paths

Yeah, it’s Monday and, yeah, life kinda stinks when you have to leave your weekends of football and ice coldies for another five days of slaving for the man.  Well, here’s a great way to let out some of that left over aggression or to pick you back up from a Monday morning let down.  Of course, you have to find an idiot friend who’s willing to be a human target for you, but that shouldn’t be too difficult.

Any volunteers?

Links:

[Our Book of Scrap]: Human Target Practice Using Golf Balls

Categories
Golf

Blind woman hits hole-in-one…or so she’s told


For all you amateur hackers out there who dream about nailing that perfect shot and writing a “1” on your scorecard, prepare yourself for another devastating blow to your golfing ego. You’ve heard the stories of kids hitting a hole-in-one and old men knocking down an ace, but you’ve never ever heard of a miracle shot story like Sheila Drummond’s. And that’s because she’s the first completely blind female to ever hit a hole-in-one!

Drummond made history on the fourth hole (144-yard, par-3) at the Mahoning Valley Country Club in Lehighton, PA, and the United States Blind Golfers Association have been unable to find any record of another totally blind chick hitting a hole-in-one. The 53-year-old lost her sight 26 years ago to diabetes, but like the superhero Daredevil, it appears to have only enhanced her other senses.

They were saying, ‘It’s a great shot,’ and then I heard it hit the pin,” Drummond said.

Golf Digest published in 1999 that the odds of an amateur sinking a hole-in-one are “1 in 12,750.” They also went on to say, “That number, no doubt rises, for a blind golfer.” Geez, thanks for that bit of blatant obviousness. But what we really want to know is the odds of hitting a one-shotter for non-blind, able-bodied, sports writing hackers like us. Unfortunately, we’ve got a feeling that this broad has better odds of sinking a second no-looker before we even come within ten feet of the hole!

Links:

[CBS4Denver.com]: Blind Woman Hits Historic Hole-In-One

Categories
NBA General

Skinny Charles Barkley gets Punk’d

Now, we probably don’t need to tell you this, but this clip of Charles Barkley getting pranked on the golf course is really, really old. Maybe we could tell because of the ugly fashions of the day or maybe it had to do with the guest appearance by Hersey Hawkins. Nope, the real reason you know this is happened in a time long, long ago is because Sir-cumference actually looks like one half of his current self. While his girth might have increased over time, the one thing that remains the same is that if you put Barkley in front of a camera, you will get a chuckle out of Chuckles.

And don’t worry, if Barkley ever gets his revenge on Hersey, we’ll bring you the tape.

Categories
Golf

Golfer gets the thrill of a lifetime, twice

For all you hackers out there who just can’t seem to catch a break on the links, here’s yet another tale of a golfer who has done something you never will.  

Mark Converse was celebrating our nation’s independence on a Tennessee course when he nailed a hole-in-one on his fourth hole of the day.  Talk about a happy 4th of July!  Oh, but the fireworks didn’t stop there for Converse because he went on to hit a second hole-in-one on the 14th hole.  According to Golf Digest, the odds of that happening are set at a whopping 67-million-to-one!!  

What’s even worse for all you jealous types is that this isn’t the first time this guy has rejoiced over the thrill of a perfectly placed shot.  Back in 2003, Converse hit his first hole-in-one.  But, hey, at least the 37-year-old has paid his dues to the game, unlike some lucky little Tigress.  

You know, some people have all the good fortune in life and on the links.  Meanwhile, the rest of us have worry about alligators in the water hazards and rabid otters.  What’s up with that?!?!  

Links:

[WISTV.com]: Golfer scores two holes-in-one on same round

Categories
Golf

Next time, just take the penalty and stay out of the gator’s pond


You might think that golf courses already have enough obstacles and challenges to maneuver around, considering all the rough, sand and water everywhere. But there are plenty of other things to worry about as well. Like rabid otters and man eating alligators.

Bruce Burger was playing a round on Monday when his ball found its way into the drink at the sixth hole at a Venice, Florida golf club. As Burger went to grab his ball, an 11-foot alligator chomped down onto his right forearm and yanked the hacker into the pond. But Burger wasn’t going down without a fight and he beat the tar out of the gator with his free hand until its jaws unclamped. After being rushed to the hospital, it was determined that Burger had only sustained minor injuries.

When the beast was finally captured, its official size measured 10 feet, 11 inches and, like Stu Scott, it only had one eye. And while it’s hard to feel too much sympathy for a guy who ignored a “Beware of Alligator” sign before sticking his arm in the water, we’d figure that the course manager might pretend to actually care.

Unfortunately, that’s part of Florida,” course general manager Rod Parry said. “There’s wildlife in these ponds.

Hopefully, the course at least threw a bone to the guy a kicked down a free round or something. Actually, one of those extendable ball retrievers would probably be a more fitting offering.

Links:

[ABCNews.Go.com]: Golfer Survives Gator Attack in Florida