Okay, so what happens when Shasta the Houston Cougar pisses off Donald Duck? Well, Shasta gets his ass handed to him and Donald gets slapped with a one game suspension.
So, was it worth it? When you spend your free time in a sweaty, smelly, hot, heavy, gigantic duck suit, hell yeah it is!
Links:
[CBS2.com]: Bad Duck! Oregon Mascot Suspended
We love seeing those goofballs at ESPN make fools of themselves. Actually, we love anyone who publicly humiliates themselves for our amusement, but we really love when it gets on-air. And even though this clip is hella old, when we saw this lady on ESPNEWS blurt out the mother of all bombs during a highlight clip, we knew it was going to be a good day.
True story: Robert Flores actually got his job at ESPN following a messed up package on a local news station that ended with a curse word. He redid the package without cursing, but some behind-the-scenes moron actually played the wrong tape the next morning and his mistake ended up costing Flores his job. Oh, well, he’s probably a little happier where he is now. Sorry, Danyelle, but in your case, there’s nowhere to go but down.
Links:
[The Big Lead]: Old? New? Always Funny.
Call us losers if you want to, but we have absolutely no idea who these guys are or why we should give two flips about em. However, we do like the way the nerd with the glasses and the lisp thinks.
Could it be fake? Possibly. Probably.
Do we care? Not in the least.
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[Off Wing Opinion]: Don’t Try This At Home
If you’re anything like us then you just loves you some tennis. And if you just loves you some tennis then you probably already know all about the comedic genius of one Mr. Novak Djokovic. He’s basically the Rich Little of the ATP. Well, he was at it again following his easy win at the U.S. Open on Thursday.
Even if a movie about tennis starring Will Ferrell came out, we don’t know if it could be funnier than ol’ Novak doing his best Maria Sharapova.
Take the movie Dodgeball, mix it up with Peyton Manning’s public service announcement and throw in a pair of losers who almost take themselves as seriously as finger jousters and what do you get? Unfortunately, you get this:
Well? Are you ready for some kickball!!!!!
Remember when Michael Vick publicly apologized in front of the nation for his part in that dogfighting ring that was being run out of his house. Well, it turns out that he walked off and left more behind than simply his freedom, livelihood and dignity. Apparently, he left behind the cheat sheet he needed to remind himself of what he was sorry for.
An employee from the Humane Society of the U.S. actually found Vick’s notes on the podium and they are now being auctioned off on eBay as a means of raising money to help put an end to animal cruelty. Take that Michael! The scrap of paper opened on the virtual market for a measly $20 bucks and has since skyrocketed up over $10,000! Here’s what 10 grand buys nowadays:
According to the eBay ad, Vick allegedly used the following notes to remember key points while making his public apology:
“Apologize for what I’ve done
Apologize comissioner (sic), AB [Falcons owner Arthur Blank], [Bobby] Petrino, ashamed, dissapointed (sic)
Young kids I acted immat.
Forgiveness + understanding
Take full responsibility for my actions
We all make mistakes
I’ve made mistakes in judgment”
Then, jotted into the lower right-hand corner of the paper it says, “Dogs have suffered.
Wait, Vick actually needed to jot down that “dogs have suffered”?!?! What’s worse is that he didn’t even make it a priority; he crammed it in at the last minute in the corner. Isn’t the fact that dogs have suffered the most fundamental reason why he’s in the situation he’s in? We think it’s pretty safe to say that if you have to write notes to yourself that remind you are “ashamed,” “disapointed” (be proud VT) and “take full responsibility for my actions” then you are probably neither ashamed, disappointed nor take full responsibility for your actions.
Links:
[Local10.com]: Vick Apology Notes Worth $10,000 On eBay
For those of you who don’t know what parkour is, it’s basically hauling ass around your local environment and running, jumping, spinning, rolling, flipping, sliding, climbing and bouncing on anything and everything you can get your hands or feet to stick to. When it’s done correctly it can be some of the most jaw dropping, mind boggling acrobatics you’ve ever seen in your life. But when it is performed by a bunch of pimple faced finger jousters then this is what you get:
Eh, one less finger jouster isn’t such a bad thing.
We know that after a summer of baseball, football is finally starting to take over the fall. Still, lots of guys out there are completely lost in the fog of baseball until a champ is crowned. To those super focused, elite fans that have nothing but bats and balls on the mind, we have six little words for you: what the hell are you thinking?
Oooooooh, they must finger joust on the side.
Lindsey Lohan, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton and Jerry Buss. One of these things might seem like it doesn’t belong, probably the old, wrinkly, funny looking rich guy, but actually all these celebrities share a common thread: they’ve all had to face the music after driving drunk. Even the old, wrinkly, funny looking rich guy.
On Tuesday, Lakers owner Buss pled guilty to drunken driving and got smacked with five years probation, fined $1,900, ordered to attend a first-conviction program and a Mothers Against Drunk Driving course after getting popped with a blood alcohol level of .13 percent. For a billionaire geezer, that’s basically sleeping on the lawn drunk.
Unfortunately, we have no idea what ever happened to the way, way, way younger chick who was riding in the 74-year-old’s Mercedes on the night of the arrest. All we know is that you’d have to be one cracked out, self loathing, alcohol swilling, pill popping, Bret Michaels skank to be riding in Buss’ whip at one in the morning. Wait a minute; Lindsey, Nicole, Paris…where were you last May?
Links:
[SI.com]: Lakers owner gets 5 years’ probation, fined $1,900
Baltimore and Tampa Bay put together a pretty exciting game that tallied up 23 total hits and ended with the Orioles grabbing the victory 8-4. Considering that Baltimore had picked up just their second win in the last 14 games after getting outscored by 68 during the embarrassing span you’d figure there would be more to talk about than Melvin Mora’s wrestling match with a bat weight. Wrong.
Orioles third baseman Melvin Mora had a hard time getting a weight off his bat in the first inning of Tuesday night’s game at Tampa Bay, prompting laughter from his teammates in the dugout and the nearby fans.
Mora pounded his bat several times in a futile attempt to get the weight off as he approached the plate. When the weight finally dropped from the bat after a successful attempt, the fans along the third base side near the Baltimore dugout cheered and Mora responded by tipping his helmet toward them.
Hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself then you’re just going look like an idiot while everyone else is laughing at you.
Links:
[WJZ.com]: Orioles, Fans Enjoy Mora’s Fight With Bat Weight
