If you think that college kids are the only people who enjoy spring break then you’re just foolin’ yourself. Mascots need to cut loose sometimes too. And by cut loose, we mean be a prick.
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Around the Rim: Welcome back
1. Dirk Nowitzki does his best Willis Reed impersonation
Dirk Nowitzki knew that he team was circling the drain while he rode the pine with a leg injury, so on Wednesday night, the German sharpshooter decided to suit up and help his team climb out of the toilet. It worked. For the first time since acquiring Jason Kidd, the Mavericks defeated a team with a winning record and they did so in convincing fashion, stomping a mud hole in their bitter rivals from Golden State. Nowitzki finished with 18 points and Jason Terry posted a game-high 31 as Dallas cruised to an easy 111-86 victory. The Warriors just could not find their offense, needing 86 attempts to tally 86 points while the Mavs drained 48 percent of their field goals. Led by Kidd’s 17 dimes, Dallas finished with a whopping 35 assists compared to Golden State’s 10 and killed the normally up-tempo Warriors in fastbreak points, 44-16.
2. Brand new
After missing nearly a year of action, Elton Brand is back. The mild-mannered, double-double machine took to the court against the Sonics on Wednesday evening and posted 19 points – 13 in the fourth quarter – and five rebounds to help the Clippers pound Seattle 102-84. Brand went down with a torn left Achilles back on April 18, 2007, and wasn’t expected to return until Thursday, but he felt so good before the game that coach Mike Dunleavy decided to go ahead and give him some minutes; 26 to be exact. Kevin Durant had one of his best games, finishing with 30 points on 13-of-23 shooting, but it couldn’t overshadow the play of Brand. In addition to his points and boards, Brand dished out three assists, blocked a shot and tallied a steal.
3. Lakers get their groove back
The Lakers got a boost of their own last night as Pau Gasol returned to the lineup and posted 10 points, six rebounds and seven assists in a 104-91 victory over Portland. Gasol had been out of action due to a sprained ankle he suffered nearly three weeks ago. Kobe Bryant racked up 14 of his 36 points in the fourth quarter and grabbed 13 rebounds to help his squad pull within 1 ½ games of first place New Orleans. The Lakers lost four of nine games without Gasol after posting a 15-4 record following his acquisition. The return is huge for a relatively small lineup in L.A., but the key for any sort of Lakers postseason success lies in the return of center Andrew Bynum. As of now, Los Angeles is hoping and praying the big man is healthy enough to get some critical minutes before the second season starts.
Wednesday’s Player of the Day: Kobe Bryant vs. Portland 41 min, 36 pts (FG: 10-16, 3FG: 4-5, FT: 12-13), 13 reb, 7 ast, 3 stl
Thursday’s Game to Watch: Houston (49-25) @ Portland (38-37)
Hey, on a night when Cleveland plays Chicago and the Clippers face the Kings, we decided to choose the lesser of three evils. Houston continues to flounder since running off 22 consecutive wins and they are now on a two-game losing streak and have lost five of its last 10 games. Portland isn’t much better, dropping three in a row and six of its last 10. Luckily, Inside the NBA comes on tonight and we’ll get to hear Charles Barkley rip both of these clubs for being as soft as his belly.
Buzzer Beater: On a night when injured players returned left and right, we would be remiss to not mention the comeback of Gilbert Arenas. Agent 0 missed 66 games with a knee injury before scoring 17 points against the Bucks on Wednesday. Unfortunately for Arenas, his return was overshadowed by Ramon Sessions and his buzzer-beater that gave Milwaukee a 110-109 victory. And the bad night didn’t stop there for Washington. Right when it appeared the Wizards were back to full capacity, new injuries to key components took their toll. Antawn Jamison left the game with a sprained right shoulder and the thickly bearded DeShawn Stevenson exited with a sprained right ankle.
When we first came across this clip of Gus Johnson showing off his vocal stylings, we closed our eyes and could have sworn it was Carlton Banks letting rip. But once we opened them and realized it wasn’t a lip synching performance, we were taken back by the high octaves he could reach. Surely, somewhere there was a dog howling and an American Idol judge making a comment about his singing being just a bit too pitchy (dawg).
We thought those notes were reserved for Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilera, but it’s amazing how the body will react to watching the Knicks play. For us, it results in dry heaves and cold sweats, but to each is own.
Links:
[EBSports.com]: Gus Johnson to star on American Idol
Now that the baseball season is underway, we know you are clamoring to jump out of the gate with a ferocity never seen before by your fellow managers in your fantasy baseball league. After all, we all know that your performance last year was a complete debacle. Luckily, the fellas at the Armchair Association put together 5 Ways To Undermine Your Fantasy Baseball League which should hopefully give you the extra assistance you need in order to avoid the league cellar once again. While all five of these nuggets are great advice, we must admit that No. 1 is perhaps the most important.
1. Always work a trade with a drunk person – I don’t know about you, but pretty regularly I get late night IMs from people that inevitably go like this: “Dude, what’s up?” “Nothing, about to go to bed” “Man, I am fucking WASTED!” “Oh really?” “YAIS!” “Hey, I was looking at your team, we should make a trade.” Using this strategy I was once able to pull off a Albert Pujols for Steve Kline & Runelvys Hernandez deal that shook my league to the core. Unfortunately, I was also taken by this against my better drunken judgement in the form of Ryan Howard and Hanley Ramirez for Carlos Zambrano and Vladimir Guerrero in the early parts of last season. It always works. Your first response to “I’m drunk.” (unless it’s a chick, in which case your response should obviously be “I have a case of High Life, I should swing by.”) should be, “We should make a trade.
And the strategy isn’t limited to MLB. If we’re not mistaken, this is exactly how the ball got rolling between the Mavs and the Nets when Jason Kidd got dealt.
Links:
[Armchair Association]: 5 Ways To Undermine Your Fantasy Baseball League
On Wednesday we showed what can go wrong when you mix a balance beam and too many flips. And it wasn’t pretty. Well, today we’ve got proof that too many back-flips, even on solid padded ground, can be equally dangerous to your health.
Championship rings just keep getting bigger and bigger and blingier and blingier. Apparently, the New York Giants have no plans of discontinuing the trend because their Super Bowl ring will probably have to be delivered in wheelbarrow. The ring has a whopping 1.5 carats of diamonds and, as Michael Strahan put it, is a “10-table ring,” meaning it can be seen from 10 tables away in a restaurant.
“I threw out the fact that it was a big win, it was a huge win, so the ring should be designed accordingly,” O’Hara said. “Michael said it best when he said he wanted a 10-table ring. I think everybody is going to be very pleased with the design. It is very clean, very classy, but at the same time it is very strong.
O’Hara forgot to mention gaudy, blinding and heavy as hell.
In other news…
[MySanAntonio.com]: NBA vs. NCAA hoops. The debate rages on.
[The Sports Point]: Even Moises Alou thinks Bartman deserves a break.
[NewsOK.com]: Reactions on Sean Sutton and the end of his Oklahoma State coaching career.
[MMAJunkie.com]: Don Frye and his moustache work a new MMA promotion.
[TheStar.com]: No Nazi sex scandal is going to keep Max Mosley from doing his job.
[The House of Smack]: “The 10 Lamest Sports…Ever.” How did Finger Jousting not make the list?
[Steroid Nation]: Florida man photoshops his head onto Bill Romanowski’s body.
[KansasCity.com]: Wilt Chamberlain could soon be coming to a post office near you.
[CBS3.com]: Sorry ladies; Andy Roddick is off the man meat market.
So, does the recent MMA explosion over the past couple of years have you wishing you were a professional fighter? Well, you might want to rethink the idea after seeing this amateur get Mirko Cro Cop-ed right off the mat.
And that was with a helmet!!
1. Hornets almost get stung
New Orleans needed a win on Tuesday night to keep pace with the streaking Spurs. Thanks to a sharpshooting Peja Stojakovic, they got it. OK, maybe “sharpshooting” is an overstatement considering he only connected on 2-of-11 field goals against the Magic, but Stojakovic came through in the clutch, connecting on a trey and hitting three big free throws in the final minute to help the Hornets sneak out of Orlando with a 98-97 victory. MVP candidate Chris Paul finished with 19 points and 12 assists and fellow All-Star David West double-doubled with 18 and 11 rebounds in Nawlins’ franchise-best 24th road win. Paul almost choked the game away by missing a pair of shots from the charity stripe with less than 10 seconds remaining. But when Keyon Dooling’s jumper fell short, the Hornets were able to breathe a sigh of relief. New Orleans holds a slight edge over SA which means they are still sitting atop the West with a game against Miami scheduled for tonight.
2. Nuggets get revenge against Suns
The home team continues to reign supreme in the battle between Phoenix and Denver. Just one day after losing by 15 points in Phoenix, the Nuggets returned to Denver and grabbed a 126-120 victory over the Suns thanks to stellar performances from Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony. A.I. finished with a game-high 31 points while Melo scored 25, including a pair of big free throws in the final 30 seconds to give Denver its seventh win in 10 games. More importantly, the Nuggets took a half-game lead over the Warriors for the West’s final playoff spot. The Suns did all they could, connecting on 53 percent of their shots, but homecourt advantage proved to be critical once again as the home team grabbed the win in every game between the two this season. Leandro Barbosa led the losers with 27 points while Shaquille O’Neal (14 pts, 13 reb), Amare Stoudemire (25 pts, 10 reb) and Steve Nash (17 pts, 18 ast) all recorded double-doubles.
3. Kings keep Rockets reeling
The Rockets are in free fall after reeling off 22 consecutive wins and Sacramento took full advantage on Tuesday night. Tracy McGrady scored a game-high 32 points, but it wasn’t enough to keep Houston from losing its fifth game, 99-98, in eight tries since going on the second-longest win steak in league history. Ron Artest finished with 30 points and Kevin Martin posted 27 as the Kings won their 34th game of the season which surpasses last year’s win total, marking the first improvement from one season to the next since 2001-02. For the Rockets, the loss sent them into sixth place out West. Houston took a one-point lead with time running out, but Martin knocked down a couple free throws with 48.9 seconds left on the clock, giving the Kings their final points of the night. Artest almost blew the victory by turning the ball over in the final moments, but McGrady’s shot was off the mark and Artest was saved by the buzzer.
Tuesday’s Player of the Day: Michael Redd vs. New York 46 min, 36 pts (FG: 12-22, 3FG: 4-9, FT: 8-11), 6 reb, 9 ast, 2 stl
Wednesday’s Game to Watch: Golden State (45-29) @ Dallas (46-28)
Playoff implications are abundant in this matchup as either team could still conceivably fall out of the conference’s elite eight with a poor showing down the final stretch of the season. Luckily for Dallas, Dirk Nowitzki could be making an early return to the lineup after suffering a lower leg injury against the Spurs on March 23. At the moment, the Mavs are sitting in seventh place, just one game ahead of Golden State who is in ninth. Dallas would clinch the tiebreaker with a win which would be huge in a jam-packed race, but these are the Warriors we’re talking about and when it comes to ruining Dallas’ fun, nobody does it better than Don Nelson. And let’s not forget about the stat that just won’t go away for Dallas. The Mavericks are currently 0-10 against teams with winning records since acquiring Jason Kidd at the All-Star break.
Buzzer Beater: ESPN released its list of the top players under the age of 23 and we really can’t argue with the rankings. Can you?
1. LeBron James
2. Dwight Howard
3. Chris Paul
4. Deron Williams
5. Carmelo Anthony
6. Kevin Durant
7. Greg Oden
8. Andrew Bynum
9. Brandon Roy
10. Monta Ellis
The Texas Longhorns felt pretty slighted when Ryan Perrilloux changed his commitment from UT to LSU at the last second, but after seeing the kid completely flop off the field, Mack Brown is probably breathing a huge sigh of relief. After all, the Longhorns are doing an excellent job of turning their program into the next Miami without Perrilloux’s assistance.
A server at Kona Grill in Perkins Rowe told The Daily Reveille late Tuesday night that Perrilloux arrived at the restaurant 30 minutes after it closed Friday.
Perrilloux entered the bar and attempted to order drinks. After he was denied service, Perrilloux began to curse and use racial slurs, the server said.
A Kona Grill manager approached Perrilloux, who then cursed the manager. The server said Perrilloux was asked to leave. And the police were called to the restaurant, but Perrilloux had left by the time any officers arrived.
The nerve of some people; how dare they not serve the Tigers backup quarterback following closing time! We’re assuming that at some point Perrilloux busted out the old “Don’t you know who I am?” line. After all, an angry diatribe just isn’t an angry diatribe without a little overinflated ego sprinkled in for effect.
Links:
[The Daily Reveille]: Junior QB allegedly involved in incident
With the summer Olympics rapidly approaching, you better be prepared to get bombarded by all sorts of crap you don’t normally watch. Like gymnastics for example. We know that you’ll probably be flipping the channels like mad when you see those tiny girls flipping and cart wheeling all over the stadium, but we certainly won’t be. Wanna know why? It’s because we’re afraid we might miss another moment like this:
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Ahhh, the pageantry and grace.