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His driver might have slapped that woman’s butt, but Dennis would never do something like that


The Worm is apparently guilty of more than just having horrible taste in automobiles. TMZ is reporting that Dennis Rodman spanked some random girl in a bar, inciting accusations of sexual battery.

TMZ has learned the Orange County Sheriff’s Department is investigating the incident, which allegedly took place at Hennessy’s Tavern in Dana Point, near Laguna Beach. One source says the ex-basketball star allegedly slapped the woman’s rear so hard, it left a “major mark.”

Jim Amormino, a spokesperson for the O.C. Sheriff, told TMZ, “Officers did respond to an incident involving a man and a woman. A police report was taken, and is currently with the sex crime unit of the Sheriff’s department.

While this is not a highlight in his career by any stretch of the imagination, after OJ’s recent incident, we felt just a little let down by Rodman’s butt bongo stunt. We hate to say it, but you’re starting to lose a little steam Dennis. If all you have left in the tank is a hideous car and tawdry actions then we’re gonna just have to move on. We don’t want a cheap imitation of the mad man we once knew. If you’re not going balls to the wall for us, then we can’t waste anymore time with you.

Links:

[TMZ]: Dennis Rodman Accused of Sexual Battery

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NBA General

Joey Crawford’s back and he’s ready to piss more people off


Five months ago, the biggest problem facing the NBA was a no-nonsense, technical foul-yielding referee that mysteriously threw Tim Duncan out in the final minutes of a game against the Dallas Mavericks and then, according to Duncan, challenged him to a fight. Well, after being suspended indefinitely since April, Joey Crawford has been reinstated into the league.

Based on my meeting with Joey Crawford, his commitment to an ongoing counseling program, and a favorable professional evaluation that was performed at my direction, I am satisfied that Joey understands the standards of game management and professionalism the NBA expects from him and that he will be able to conduct himself in accordance with those standards,” said NBA commissioner David Stern.

It’s amazing how little things like referees picking fights with superstars can all be forgiven when there’s some jerk-off zebra messing with the mob and fixing games.

Links:

[WLWT.com]: NBA Reinstates Official Joey Crawford

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NBA General

Eddie Griffin identified by dental records in car/train collision


It’s been obvious for years that the former Minnesota Timberwolve Eddie Griffin was battling some serious demons in his life and it is possible that he committed suicide on Friday, August 17, when he drove his SUV into a moving train in Texas. The 25-year-old died upon impact but because of a horrible fire that resulted from the crash, there was no way to identify the body until investigators began using dental records.

There is no doubt that Griffin was one of the most talented players in the 2001 NBA Draft; just ask the Houston Rockets. They traded off Jason Collins, Brandon Armstrong and Richard Jefferson for the 7th pick out of Seton Hall. But his on-the-court talent wasn’t able to compete with his off-the-court troubles as alcoholism, violence and bizarre behavior began to take control of the 6-10, 240 lbs. forward. In 2006, Griffin was involved in another peculiar car crash as he hit an SUV while watching pornography and masturbating.

It’s been a tumultuous life for Griffin to say the least, and hopefully he’s in a better place now. And for all you other citizens who share the Eddie Griffin name, please be careful the next time you get behind the wheel. The road is not kind to Eddie Griffins.

Links:

[NBC11.com]: NBA Player Griffin Killed In Train Crash

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NBA General

In the midst of a crisis, David Letterman makes us laugh at the NBA


The NBA is taking some serious heat over the allegations that one of their refs was involved in fixing games and it didn’t take David Letterman long to start kicking David Stern and Tim Donaghy while they’re down. On Tuesday night, Dave bashed the fellas with this little nugget of comedic gold.

Top 10 Signs A Referee Is Fixing Games

10. He leads the league in blocked shots.

9. When talking about the Spurs, he says “we.”

8. After 6 seconds, calls a 24-second violation.

7. He’s drawing up plays.

6. Before tip-off, scoreboard reads 58 to nothing.

5. Teams have scored a record number of 2-pointers, 3-pointers and 8-pointers.

4. Tossed one of the other officials out of the game.

3. Has Eddie Brill’s telephone number on speed dial.

2. Miami Heat hasn’t lost a game since Shaq promised to help the referee’s fat son.

1. The Knicks are winning.

Links:

[Charlotte.com]: Letterman’s take on referee scandal

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NBA General

Skinny Charles Barkley gets Punk’d

Now, we probably don’t need to tell you this, but this clip of Charles Barkley getting pranked on the golf course is really, really old. Maybe we could tell because of the ugly fashions of the day or maybe it had to do with the guest appearance by Hersey Hawkins. Nope, the real reason you know this is happened in a time long, long ago is because Sir-cumference actually looks like one half of his current self. While his girth might have increased over time, the one thing that remains the same is that if you put Barkley in front of a camera, you will get a chuckle out of Chuckles.

And don’t worry, if Barkley ever gets his revenge on Hersey, we’ll bring you the tape.

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NBA General

Santa Shaq can stay, but Kobe isn’t welcome at Christmas this year


If you’re already getting burnt out on all the Tim Donaghy chatter that has dominated the NBA landscape for the past few days, here’s something that might distract you from the incessant coverage. It seems that the NBA and ABC have finally given up on the holiday bad blood between Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal and for the first time in a long time it appears that the fans won’t be settling into a Lakers/Heat game on Christmas afternoon. Instead, the scheduling gurus have decided to focus on the on-court feud of the future between LeBron “Baby Dunker” James and O’Neal’s sidekick, Dwyane Wade. Of course, this could have a little something to do with the fact that Bryant is pushing to get outta Los Angeles too.

Now, the schedule isn’t final and this is all speculation at the moment, but we’re really hoping that this is true. We were getting sick of all the hype that went along with the LA/Miami game and the James/Wade battle has a lot more sizzle to it anyway, considering that both are able to compete at extremely high levels still. Sorry Shaq, we’re not saying that you’re washed up just yet, but if you’re going to be the main billing in a X-Mas day contest, you should at least be in better shape than the obese kids you’re profiting off of.

Links:

[MiamiHerald.com]: Stockings void of Shaq-Kobe

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NBA General

Crooked NBA ref is about to get busted by the feds

We really hate when people try to bring up how sports today are fixed, normally we’d just shake our heads and save our breath because we want to hold out the hope that the courts and fields of America are centered on fair competition. Well, it’s going to become pretty hard to justify the validity of the games if the FBI is correct in their assumptions that one NBA referee has ties to the mob and was actually betting on games, including ones he was officiating.

The name of the ref is being withheld but the allegations are coming to the surface as the feds revealed that they began looking into the matter over a year ago and they are now ready to throw the ref and a bunch of his gangster buddies into the slammer. According to accounts, the zebra had a gambling addiction, bet on some games with illegal bookies, lost his ass and was forced by the mob to fix the games.

We can’t wait to find out who this punk is that’s tarnishing the legitimacy our sacred playing fields, because we really don’t appreciate it. And frankly, we’re going to have to going to have to suggest a good ol’ ferret legging be included somewhere in his punishment once sentencing time rolls around. While we don’t want to create speculation on who the crooked bastard could be, we will say that we’re praying for it to be Joey Crawford. After all, this is a blatant money making call if we’ve ever seen one:

Links:

[New York Post]: NBA In A `Fix’

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NBA General

Odds and Ends: Behind the scenes of the NBA Draft with Stephen A. Smith

The hilarious videos just keep on coming as we’ve now gotten our grubby little hands on a clip of a puppet named Stephen A. Smith giving us an inside look at the NBA’s coming out party (via the fellas at Awful Announcing). In addition to the back stage discussions with some of the league’s newest stars, S.A.S. was gracious enough to give up the commentary on, well, the actual, real life, super annoying Stephen A. Smith. Now, we never have liked the guy, but thanks to this video, we like him even less than Slava Medvedenko and Rasho Nesterovic.

Watch out Triumph, there’s a new insulting sock in town.

In other news…

[ADN.com]: What the hell is in the waters of Alaska to produce 350+ pound fish!?!?

[NBC12.com]: Danica might be going Britney Spears on us.

[The Big Lead]: Woody Paige got a vasectomy. Uh, TMI.

[Our Book of Scrap]: Red Sox fan chugs a cup of mustard. Mmmmmmm, mustard.

[WISTV.com]: Another day, another f’d up twist in the Chris Benoit story.

[WAVE3.com]: NFL Europe finally folds; now we’re just waiting on the WNBA to go under.

[OrlandoSentinel.com]: Tiger Woods’ guest house goes up in flames. Don’t worry; we’re sure he has another one somewhere.

[SI.com]: Greg Oden wants to clean up the number 52’s ugly image.

And finally, for all your drunken sports fans out there who hate drinking warm beer, we’ve got one word for ya: Hopsicle!

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NBA General

2007 NBA Draft: The Northwest Division gets a serious facelift



The future is now for the NBA’s stars of tomorrow.

Wow! It’s been a long time since the NBA has seen that much action in one night; we’re talking about Wilt Chamberlain on a Saturday night type of action here. The night got kicked off when David Stern spoke those magical words that every kid grows up dreaming about:

With the first pick in the 2007 NBA Draft, the Portland Trailblazers select Greg Oden from Ohio State University.

Okay, so scratch the Portland Trailblazers part out because no kid is ever going to dream about going there, but other than that it’s a shooting star’s wish come true. That, of course, was followed by the easiest pick in the history of draft picks as Seattle scooped up the scraps left by Portland and selected Kevin Durant with the second overall pick. And by scraps, we mean the most polished freshman ever! But that was all pretty common sense stuff for the most part after rumors starting spreading on Thursday that the Blazers were committed to Oden. The real fun started after the no-brainers were off the board.

Seattle continued to change the Sonics guard and promptly shipped off Ray Allen and the rights to Big Baby Glen Davis to Boston for the fifth pick which turned out to be Jeff Green, Delonte West and Wally Szczerbiak. We’re guessing that Paul Pierce would rather have Kevin Garnett on his team, but Allen will make a nice compliment to Pierce. And in the East, there’s no telling who’s going to be making the postseason anymore.

Then there’s the evolving Portland squad that kicked the troublesome Zach Randolph out the door as soon as Oden’s name was read. And of course, Isiah Thomas was the sucker that took on the talented but troubled semi star. But we have to commend Zeke for finally getting rid of Steve Francis who has been nothing but a pain for the team since arriving. The Blazers also sent Dan Dickau and Fred Jones in the deal and New York shipped Channing Frye along with Francis. Now, Portland has a fierce front court with Oden joining a hopefully healthy LaMarcus Aldridge.

Then there are the Bobcats who are desperate to get their hands on an All-Star caliber player and ended up trading off their eighth pick in Brandan Wright for Jason Richardson. Charlotte also picked up Golden State’s second-round pick Jermareo Davidson. Warriors fans are probably pissed that they got rid of a huge part of their recent only playoff success, but it was a great move financially as Richardson is owed $51 million over the last four seasons on his contract.

But even after all that; the real thing that we’re going to remember this draft for is the gosh awful outfit that Joakim Noah wore to the big show. We’re sure Chicago must be so proud.

The rest of the results from the 2007 NBA Draft, broken down by team, can be found after the jump.

Continue reading “2007 NBA Draft: The Northwest Division gets a serious facelift”

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Kevin Durant was born with 11 toes?!?! No wonder Portland might pass.


So, apparently there is a “FakeDurant” out there somewhere who is posting on Yardbarker as if he was the real Kevin Durant. Why is this news? Well, it looks like the NBA bound Durant’s peeps are requesting that the post be removed because FakeDurant is saying some pretty odd things and they don’t want their meal ticket getting a bad rap. The idea is good, but who the hell is going to believe that stuff like this would be written by the sickest freshman of all time (oh, not to mention it’s posted by FakeDurant!!!):

I met with the fine folks of the Seattle Sonics this week. They asked me what number I wanted to be and I said “69!” I mean DUH LOL.

I HAD A SIXTH TOE ON MY RIGHT FOOT WHEN I WAS BORN AND THE DOCTOR CUT IT OFF!

People are always interviewing me and they all want to know whether or not I think Joakim Noah is ugly. I DO! Sorry bro BUT YOUS HIDEOUS lol!!! But I think everyone agrees with me when I say I’d love to team up with the MilfHunter and hunt down his mom! I mean OMG good thing I’m wearing compression shorts right now!

I took a poop today and the inside of the toilet looked like a smiley face…does that mean i might be gay? FREE BRITNEY (aka MILF)!!!

Well, now that we think about it, that does totally sound like something Durant would say. It might happen. Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of our butts.

Links:

[Awful Announcing]: Fake Durant Causes Yardbarker To Get Contacted By Real Durant’s People